Part 2

TED MORRIS.

Is he still in the philanthropic line?

THEODORE TRAVERS.

Yes, doing a bigger business than ever. I'm afraid he won't live long. They'll be wanting him for an angel when the next vacancy occurs. He is a County Councillor already. By-the-bye, he landed you pretty heavily, didn't he?

TED MORRIS.

Oh, that was my fault. I let him invest all our money in some cast-iron affair that was going to pay a hundred per cent. He had influence with the Directors, and got them to let us into it--as a favour.

THEODORE TRAVERS.

Um! and a very pretty little "let in" it was. Well, it's all experience, my dear boy--all.

(_Enter Nelly. Theodore rises._)

TED MORRIS.

This is my sister.

THEODORE TRAVERS.

I envy you, my dear boy. How do you do, Miss Morris? I'm Theodore Travers, your cousin, you know.

NELLY MORRIS.

Oh, yes, I remember. How did you manage to find us?

THEODORE TRAVERS.

Oh, the step-mater's been on your track ever since you disappeared. She'll be here in a minute.

TED MORRIS.

(_Aghast._) Mrs. Ben Dixon coming here!

THEODORE TRAVERS.

Yes, and he's coming too. I ought to have told you before, only I've been so taken up with your interesting conversation.

TED MORRIS.

(_Aside, savagely._) Why the deuce can't they wait till they're asked?

THEODORE TRAVERS.

And if you would permit me, as a practical stage-manager, I would suggest a rearrangement of the props. (_Looking round room._) Let me see. Step-mater will take the centre of the stage, of course; she always does, from force of habit.

NELLY MORRIS.

(_Putting flimsy chair R. of table, and smiling._) There!

THEODORE TRAVERS.

Yes, that's the place, but it's not the chair. (_Shaking and testing it._)

JACK MEDBURY.

(_Bringing a big one over from window._) This one?

THEODORE TRAVERS.

That's more the thing, and then, let me see, the old man--he won't sit anywhere, he'll stand in front of the fire and try to look like a stained-glass window; and then the girl----

TED MORRIS.

What girl!

THEODORE TRAVERS.

Oh, a _protégée_ of the step-mater's--a dear little thing--suggests roses and old Chippendale. (_Takes chair to window_.) She can sit over here near me. (_At window, he looks out._) Ah, there's the carriage going away now. They are here evidently--all on the stairs in different degrees of exhaustion.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

(_Without._) Well, we can't go any higher; it must be this. (_Door opens, and in bustles breezily Mrs. Ben Dixon. She is a kindly, blunt, slightly vulgar woman of about forty. Her style in dress is pronounced._) Yes. Here they are, both of them. The young villains! Oh, you bad boy! Oh, you bad girl! I'll never forgive you, neither of you. Come and kiss me. (_She embraces Nelly._)

(_She is followed in by Mr. Ben Dixon and Primrose Deane. Mr. Ben Dixon is an unctuous, plausible, smiling old humbug. He is dressed with the nicest regard to ostentatious respectability. Primrose is a sweet, childish girl._)

MR. BEN DIXON.

So we have run you to earth at last, you young rogues. (_He kisses Nelly and introduces her to Primrose._)

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Run them to earth! Run them to air you mean. (_Referring to Tea's proffered hand._) Lord help the boy, I don't want that. I want a kiss. What's the good of being an aunt if you can't kiss your good-looking young nephews? (_Embraces him._) Oh, I am cross with you. I'm going to tell you both what I think of you as soon as I get my breath back.

NELLY MORRIS.

Don't be angry, aunt. We were only waiting for Ted to pass.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Pass what? The Bankruptcy Court?

NELLY MORRIS.

No; his final examination. He's nearly a full-blown surgeon.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

What! Ted going in for doctoring!

MR. BEN DIXON.

(_Standing before the fire._) A noble and useful profession! Also, I believe, exceedingly remunerative.

THEODORE TRAVERS.

And one which atones for its folly in assisting people into the world by its efficacy in assisting them out of it again.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Oh, do you be quiet, Theo; I got you to go on in front on purpose that you should have a quiet twenty minutes' talk all to yourself, and so give us a chance when we came.

THEODORE TRAVERS.

All right, mater--all right, if you think this is your scene, I'll talk aside up stage Right. There's not room for the two of us I know.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

(_To Nelly._) Wonderful boy that, if only he wouldn't fancy that God Almighty made the universe just to hear what he would say about it. (_Nelly laughs._)

PRIMROSE DEANE.

Oh, I think it must be so beautiful to be a doctor, and to help people in pain and sickness. I should so like to be a nurse.

TED MORRIS.

I'm sure you'd make a very sweet and helpful one.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Well, I must say they are very becoming, those bonnets. I thought of it myself when I was a girl. It was a toss up at one time between that and the skipping-rope.

MR. BEN DIXON.

Ahem--my dear.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Well, everybody here knows all about it--except this young man--I---- (_Looking at Jack._)

TED MORRIS.

My chum, Jack Medbury--an artist, aunt.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

An artiste? I--I'm glad to meet you, young man. What's your line?

JACK MEDBURY.

Oh--oh, I paint, you know,

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Oh, that! Ah, well, they're all good of their kind. And now when are you young folks coming down to see me? Some country air in your lungs, and some good food in your stomachs won't do either of you any harm, I should say from the look of you.

MR. BEN DIXON.

Yes, you must come down to us. Come and spend a--an afternoon.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

An afternoon! Bless the man, I want them for a month.

TED MORRIS.

It's awfully good of you, aunt, but the exam's in six weeks. I daren't leave my work.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Well, bring it with you, can't you?

TED MORRIS.

No, aunt. You see it isn't only studying. I must attend the hospital. I want practice.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Practice! Well, there's all the village for you to practice on. Why it will be just what they'll love. Medicine given away gratis and no questions asked.

MR. BEN DIXON.

Oh, you must come. I insist upon it, and you know you really owe me something, you young people, for all the terrible anxiety your money affairs have caused me.

TED MORRIS.

Oh, I'm sorry they've done that.

MR. BEN DIXON.

Ah, my dear Edward, I can never tell you the agony of mind the loss of that £4,000 has given me.

TED MORRIS.

Yes, it annoyed us a bit.

MR. BEN DIXON.

Ah, yes, that was natural. It was _your_ money. But it was no business of mine at all, and yet, ah, how I've suffered.

NELLY MORRIS.

Ah, well, you meant for the best, uncle. Don't fret about it.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

We must make it up to them you know, Ben. We must look after them a bit and help them.

MR. BEN DIXON.

I'm sure I shall always feel it my duty to give them the very best advice in my power.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Yes, and I guess we'll supplement that by something a little more useful. Don't you fear about that, young folks.

TED MORRIS.

It's very good of you, aunt. I know you mean kindly

--both of you, but----(_Puts his arm round Nelly,_)

Nelly and I have fought the worst of this fight by ourselves, and-- we'll win it or lose it alone.

MR. BEN DIXON.

(_He shakes Ted by the hand_.) A noble resolution. You are a brave boy. I admire you for it. (_Aside_.) I hope he'll stick to it.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Ah, you're your father's boy, Ted--both of you--but while you're sticking up for your independence don't you forget my rights. I _am_ your aunt. I loved your poor dead mother, and I've a right to love her two headstrong young brats, and I'm going to do it. (_There is the slightest suggestion of tears in her voice by this time._)

NELLY MORRIS.

I'm sure we both want you to, aunt. Ted didn't mean that, he didn't. Did you, Ted?

MRS. BEN DIXON.

All the same to me, my dear, if he did. I can be as obstinate as he can. Your Aunt Bella's going to be your friend, and you can just lump it or like it--both of you.

MR. BEN DIXON.

Still you know, my dear, an independent spirit is a beautiful trait in anyone. I really don't think we ought to do anything to undermine it.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Ah, your solicitors didn't talk like that to mine, Ben, when our marriage settlements were being discussed.

MR. BEN DIXON.

(_To Ted_.) Ah, that's the worst of women. They will always drag in the personal element.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Now come, Ted. Don't you be an unkind nephew to your old aunt just because she's got no chicks of her own and wants to love you.

TED MORRIS.

You're a dear good soul, aunt. Let me come down for a day or two and bring my books with me--and if ever I do want help from anyone--why--why, you know I should rather take it from you than from anybody else.

MR. BEN DIXON.

(_Aside, disgusted_.) I thought he wouldn't stick to it.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Ah, well, come, that's a bit more sensible. Mind you come as soon as you can, and stop as long as you can, and as for any bit of help, lad, to start you, why you could make that up to a couple of broken-down invalids like Ben and me in less than a year, what with physic and stuff.

TED MORRIS.

(_Laughs._) I shall be sorry for my practice if my patients all look like you, aunt.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Ah, that's like you all. I get no sympathy. (_Glances round to Jack, and then draws Ted aside._) Ted, that artist chum of yours looks as if a change would do him good. Do you think he'd like to come?

TED MORRIS.

I--(_puts his arm round Nelly_)--I think he'd like to be where Nelly was.

(_Nelly, with an alarmed, troubled look, slips out of the room almost unnoticed_).

MRS. BEN DIXON.

No!

TED MORRIS.

Yes; another good-looking young nephew for you to kiss, aunt.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Don't you be impudent! That's the worst of it, when we poor women allow you young men any liberties, you get so saucy over it. Are they engaged?

TED MORRIS.

Not yet--not formally, you know, but----

MRS. BEN DIXON.

(_Nods_.) So much the better. We'll have him down, and then I can judge him for myself. Mr. Medbury.

JACK MEDBURY.

Yes? (_He comes to her._)

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Will you come down and spend a week at our place in the country? Ted and Nelly will be coming. Come with them.

JACK MEDBURY.

Oh--Oh, thanks. I shall be delighted.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

That's right. I shall expect you. Do you do portraits?

I try to.

JACK MEDBURY.

TED MORRIS.

It's his leading line, aunt.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Good. Bring your props with you, and paint me a portrait of Nelly. Will you?

JACK MORRIS.

With the greatest pleasure imaginable. It will be a labour of love.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Oh no, it won't. It will be a fifty pound job, or I shan't have it. Is it a bargain?

JACK MEDBURY.

(_Laughs_). Very well. I won't beat you down. You shall have your own terms, and--thank you very much.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Not at all. It will be very cheap at the price, I know. (_Crosses L. to Ben Dixon._) Well, I've asked them all down, Ben.

MR. BEN DIXON.

Yes, I thought you would, my dear. I hope they've all accepted.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Oh yes, they're all coming.

MR. BEN DIXON.

Oh, that _is_ nice. Are you ready to go now, dear, or do you think there might be anybody else about the place you'd like to----

(_Cherry knocks at door. Ted goes up and opens it_.)

ADAM CHERRY.

May I---- Oh, oh! I beg pardon. I didn't know you had anyone here. I------ (_He is about to retire._)

TED MORRIS.

Come on in, Mr. Cherry, come on in--the more the merrier. We've got a regular reception on. Aunt, let me introduce you to----

MRS. BEN DIXON.

(_She and Cherry, the moment they see each other, stand aghast._)

Don't tell me it's Adam Cherry!

ADAM CHERRY.

It isn't--it isn't Sylvia!

MR. BEN DIXON.

Certainly not. You are quite right, my dear sir, it is _not_. That lady is buried.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Not yet, Ben. Don't you get anticipating history to that extent.

MR. BEN DIXON.

I mean, my dear, that she is sunk in Mrs. Ben Dixon.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Yes, it is a bit of a come down. (_Mr. Ben Dixon, crestfallen, retires to the fire._) Well, I _am_ glad to see you. Why, you don't seem to have altered a day. Bless the man, you look quite young. (_Cherry chuckles and plumes himself. She puts up her glass and examines him_). Until one looks into you a bit. (_He coughs drily_). Well, and what have you been doing with yourself all these years?

ADAM CHERRY.

Oh, I gave up the stage, you know, when I came into my aunt's money.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Um! Well, I think it was a good thing for both of you. You never were much good at it, you know, Adam.

ADAM CHERRY.

Ah, perhaps not--perhaps not.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

You never had the legs for it. It's no good saying----

ADAM CHERRY.

Legs are not everything.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

No, but they make a good foundation. Lord, I shall never forget the first night of that burlesque when you played Apollo to my Terps. You wore three pairs of tights, one over the other, and the underneath ones worked up into rucks. (_Cherry laughs uncomfortably._) And the gallery told you to go home and get yourself ironed. (_Laughs._)

MR. BEN DIXON.

(_Aside to Theodore._) Now we shall have reminiscences of all your step-mother's early life.

THEODORE TRAVERS.

Ah, well, it might be worse, Ben. It might be your own.

ADAM CHERRY.

I heard of your second marriage.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Ah, yes; bad news travels fast, they say.

ADAM CHERRY.

(_Looking over at Ben Dixon._) But, you know, somehow or other, I pictured such a different sort of man.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Yes, so did I. (_Leaning over and speaking confidentially._) An inordinate craving for respectability has been the ruin of me. Don't you ever give way to it. (_Cherry looks puzzled._) You see, Travers----

ADAM CHERRY.

Your first?

MRS. BEN DIXON.

My _première_. He was a bit wild, and when he died, poor man, and left me with a pot of money, I said to myself, "Now, Belinda Travers, _nee_ Greggs, you've lived long enough in Bohemia. We'll just go in now for respectability; none of your mere Kensington or Hampstead sort, but the downright solid stuff." And so I just set to work to look for respectability, and (_with a motion towards Ben Dixon_) I found that! (_Looks across at him. He is standing in a beautiful attitude, beaming, his hands folded together, talking to Nelly._) That's not a respectable man. That's potted respectability. They must have boiled down a church to make that. I never thought that there was so much respectability in the world. _I'd_ never come across so much before, all at one time.

ADAM CHERRY.

And how do you like it?

MRS. BEN DIXON.

I don't like it. There's too much of it for me. I ought to have begun with small doses. My system can't stand it. I live in an atmosphere of respectability, and it's killing me. I never go anywhere that isn't respectable. I never do anything that isn't respectable. Until this blessed moment I haven't set eyes on anyone who isn't respectable.

ADAM CHERRY.

It must be very monotonous.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Monotonous! It's suffocating! (_Suddenly_.) Cherry, you always were a good sort. You said you loved me once.

ADAM CHERRY.

(_Alarmed_) It was a long time ago, Belinda.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

I know it--fifteen years, if it's a day--but you can't have ceased to care for me altogether. Come and help me now. I'm going to the good man as fast as ever I can. For old love's sake come and hold me back a bit. Come down and spend a week with me. Come down and let me talk to you about the days when you and I and the rest of the crowd used to have sheep's-head suppers sent round from the local tripe-shop, and sit up till four o'clock in the morning, playing penny nap.

ADAM CHERRY.

Ah, they were jolly times, those, after all. Do you remember your first cigar?

MRS. BEN DIXON.

That's it--that's it! That's the sort of thing I _want_ to remember. That's the sort of thing I want to talk to you about. Will you come?

ADAM CHERRY.

Why, of course I will. Shall enjoy it. Where are you, and when shall---- (_Knock heard at door_).

TED MORRIS.

(_Who has been talking to Primrose._) Come in.

(_Enter a waiter carrying a tray on which are two champagne bottles and some glasses._)

WAITER.

(_At door._) Meester Sherry?

TED MORRIS.

Yes, he's here--but this is not his room.

ADAM CHERRY.

Oh, it's all right, my dear Ted. (_To waiter_.) Yes, yes, put them down. I'll explain--I'll explain.

WAITER.

(_Putting down tray on table._) Shall I open zem, zir?

ADAM CHERRY.

Yes. And have you a few more glasses, Ted? I--I didn't know your friends would be here. They are all friends, aren't they?

TED MORRIS.

Some of them--the others are relations.

ADAM CHERRY.

Ah, yes, that will be all right then. All the better--all the better. Where's Nelly?

TED MORRIS.

Nelly? Oh----

MR. BEN DIXON.

Oh, she's just gone to fetch an atlas. I'm explaining a mission route to her. She'll be back in an instant.

ADAM CHERRY.

Ah! (_Aside to Ted._) Has--has she told you anything?

TED MORRIS.

What about?

ADAM CHERRY.

(_With a chuckle._) Ah, evidently not. Never mind, never mind. (_Waves Ted away. Ted goes to cupboard to get glasses. The first cork goes "pop."_)

JACK MEDBURY.

(_Who has been talking to Theodore_.) What's up? Another birthday?

TED MORRIS.

Mr. Cherry has a birthday about once a month, and we help him to celebrate it.

ADAM CHERRY.

No, no; now you are exaggerating, my dear boy. The last occasion was the anniversary of my poor aunt's death. (_The second bottle pops._) You know I told you so.

JACK MED BURY.

We had a very jolly dinner over it.

(_The waiter goes out._)

ADAM CHERRY.

But this--this, my dear Ted, is to celebrate something very much more important than--than anything we have celebrated before.

JACK MEDBURY.

More important than birth or death?

ADAM CHERRY.

Very much. Ladies and gentlemen, my dear friends, all of you, I want--I want you to drink to a--to a wedding.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

A wedding! What! Not your own?

ADAM CHERRY.

Why not, Bella? Why not?

TED MORRIS.

What, Cherry going to get married?

JACK MEDBURY.

Good luck to you, my boy. Good luck to you. Quite right. (_He says this heartily and goes on laughing and talking to Theodore_.)

MRS. BEN DIXON.

Who's the bride?

ADAM CHERRY.

The--the niece, Mrs. Ben Dixon, of a--of a most charming aunt. The sister of a brave, clever young friend of mine--the sweetest lady in the land--Miss Nelly Morris.

(_Nelly has re-entered and stands L. near door. Jack gives a half-suppressed cry of "Nell!" and a start. No one notices this but Theodore, but he notices it very clearly._)

TED MORRIS.

Nelly! Is this true, Nelly?

NELLY MORRIS.

(_She crosses and stands by Cherry. She is deadly pale and quiet._) Quite true. (_As she says this she gives one look over to Jack and then turns away. Jack looks at her and the glass in his hand trembles. Theodore notices all these things. He looks from Jack to Nelly, then back to Jack. Then he covertly takes a pencil from his pocket, draws his cuff down and writes._)

ADAM CHERRY.

(_After a rather awkward pause._) It's--it's a bit of a surprise for you all.

MR. BEN DIXON.

A very pleasant one, Mr. Cherry. I am delighted--delighted. (_Aside._) He'll take them both off our hands now-- really quite providential.

PRIMROSE DEANE.

(_Coming forward and taking Nelly's hands._) I do so hope you will be happy, dear. You often hear of these sort of things turning out quite well, and--and----

NELLY MORRIS.

(_Smiling and kissing her._) Thank you, dear.

THEODORE TRAVERS.

Very interesting; quite worth the stairs.

MRS. KEN DIXON.

(_Aside to him._) I believe you'd make notes at your dearest friend's death-bed!

THEODORE TRAVERS.

Why not? It couldn't hurt him, and might amuse other people. Well, may all the joys of the world be yours, young people. Bless you both. (_He drinks_.)

MRS. BEN DIXON.

(_Rising_.) May the Lord help you both. Ben, if you're ready, we'll go.

MR. BEN DIXON.

Quite ready, my dear.

MRS. BEN DIXON.

(_To Nelly_.) Good-bye, my dear. (_Kisses her_.) You and I must have a long chat when you come down. Goodbye, Ted. This is what comes of your hiding yourself to starve away from your old aunt. Good-bye, Mr. Medbury. Good-bye, Cherry. Go on, Prim. (_Primrose goes out_) I want to get out of this and have a think. It's old fools and young fools all making fools of themselves together here. (_She goes out_.)

MR. BEN DIXON.

(_To Cherry_.) We are both charmed, my dear sir, charmed. I shall feel now that there is someone to look after them, and see that they never want for anything. I can't tell you what a relief it is to me. Good-bye, good-bye. (_He follows out._)

THEODORE TRAVERS.

Well, good-bye, good-bye all. I'll look you up again soon. Shall be interested to know how you all get on. (_He goes out_.)

ADAM CHERRY.

(_To Nelly._) You didn't mind my telling it, did you, dear? It had to come out sooner or later of course. You--you're not vexed?

NELLY MORRIS.

No, Mr. Ch--Adam. Of course not.

ADAM CHERRY.

I felt as if I could not believe it myself till everybody else knew it. (_To Jack._) Jack you haven't congratulated me.

JACK MEDBURY.

You have every reason to be congratulated, Mr. Cherry, I'm sure. (_Aside to Nelly._) I understand, Nell. Don't worry about me. It will make me paint all the better. (_Aside to Ted as he goes out._) Try and forget all that nonsense I talked to you, Ted. It's better as it is. Poor devils like you and I have no business to indulge in such luxuries as love, and I shall---- Goodbye, old fellow. (_Grips Ted's hand and goes out._)

ADAM CHERRY.

And now, my dear Ted, that we are alone----

TED MORRIS.

I would rather be still more alone, Mr. Cherry, if you don't mind. Forgive me, but I want to talk to Nelly about this thing. It's rather taken me by surprise.

ADAM CHERRY.

Certainly, my dear boy. Certainly--very natural. I'll go. You and Nelly will come down and dine with me this evening, won't you, and we'll have a talk then.

TED MORRIS.

Thank you. I'll let you know.

ADAM CHERRY.

Ah yes. Do; do. (_To Nelly._) _Au revoir_, my dear. Good-bye, Ted. Good-bye. (_Goes out_.)

TED MORRIS.

(_He closes the door, and then returns. Nelly has gone to mantelpiece. He comes to her, and, putting his hands on her shoulders, speaks very gently_.) You've done this for me, little woman, but it must not be, dear. Do you think that if I wouldn't ask dear old Aunt Bella for help that I'd take it for this price?

NELLY MORRIS.

One has a right to take what one has paid for. The price has been given.

TED MORRIS.

No, dear, only promised--by someone who did not know the value of what she was offering. You must let me cancel the bargain, Nell. It was a bad one to make--in _every_ sense of the word.

NELLY MORRIS.

Perhaps. But bad bargains have to be kept when made, as well as good ones. Don't let us talk about it any more, dear. The thing's done now. It cannot be undone.

TED MORRIS.

Yes it can, Nell, and _must_. It makes it a little awkward, his having announced it in that ridiculous theatrical way, but when I tell him everything. When I tell him that you love dear old Jack----

NELLY MORRIS.

But you never will do that, Ted--for my sake--for all our sakes.

TED MORRIS.

You must get out of it somehow, Nell.

NELLY MORRIS.

I cannot. I do not wish to. I have pledged my word, and I'll keep it. Come, it isn't so very terrible (_with a smile_). I'm not the first girl, dear, who's had to say good bye to an impracticable little romance, and take the sober reality offered her by an elderly gentleman. He _is_ a gentleman, Ted, and he's very fond of me I know, and I shall try and make him a good wife. (_Puts her hands on Ted's shoulders_.) It's a grey old world, brother. We must be content with grey lives.

TED MORRIS.

Nell, Nell, I won't have it. You are sacrificing yourself--you are sacrificing Jack--and all for me. I won't let you do it. Let me go down and see Cherry now, and end the matter at once. (_Breaking away from her_)

NELLY MORRIS.