Chapter 16

JOHN CARTERET, EARL GRANVILLE, succeeded to the Carteret barony at the early age of five years. He was the son of George, the first Baron Carteret, and was born in 1690. He was educated at Westminster School and Christ Church, Oxford, from which latter place, as Swift puts it, "he carried away more Greek, Latin, and philosophy than properly became a person of his rank." In the House of Lords Carteret was known as a strong adherent of the Protestant succession, and joined the Sunderland party on the split of the Whigs in 1717. As ambassador extraordinary to the Court of Sweden he was eminently successful, being the instrument by which, in 1720, peace was established between Sweden, Prussia, and Hanover. Later, he served in a similar capacity with Earl Stanhope and Sir Robert Sutton at the Congress of Cambray.

In 1721 he was appointed Secretary of State of the southern province, but although a member of the Walpole administration, he intrigued with the King against Walpole, and attempted to form a party in opposition to that minister. He ingratiated himself in the King's favour by means of his knowledge of the German language (for George knew no English), and obtained the support of Carleton, Roxburghe, Cadogan, and the Countess of Darlington. Walpole, however, was too strong for him. He managed to get Carteret to Ireland as Lord Lieutenant, and the Duke of Newcastle took up the office held by him in England. The condition of Ireland at this time was such as to cause grave anxiety to the English government. Carteret was sent ostensibly to a post of great importance, though, in reality, to be out of Walpole's way. For an account of Carteret's government during the agitation against Wood's halfpence, the reader is referred to the sixth volume of the present edition.

During the King's absence from England in 1723, Carteret had been one of the lords justices of the country, and in 1725, when George was again away, he was again appointed to this office. George, however, died on his way to Hanover; but, on the accession of George II., Carteret continued to hold high office. He was re-appointed to the Irish Lord Lieutenancy in 1727, and it was during this second term that he was criticised for the conduct Swift vindicates in the following tract.

The Dean had a great admiration both for the scholarship and temper of Carteret. The admiration was mutual, for Carteret often consulted with Swift on important matters, and, though he dared not appoint the Drapier to any position of importance, he took occasion to assist the Drapier's friends. At the time of the proclamation against the Drapier's fourth letter, the Dean, writes Scott, "visited the Castle, and having waited for some time without seeing the Lord Lieutenant, wrote upon one of the windows of the chamber of audience these lines:

'My very good lord, 'tis a very hard task, For a man to wait here, who has nothing to ask.'

Under which Carteret wrote the following happy reply:

'My very good Dean, there are few who come here, But have something to ask, or something to fear.'"

To Carteret's politic government of Ireland was mainly due the peaceful condition which prevailed amidst all the agitation roused by bad management and wretchedness. In a letter to Swift, written many years later (March, 1737), Carteret writes: "The people ask me how I governed Ireland, I say that I pleased Dr. Swift." And Swift confessed (in a letter to Gay, November 19th, 1730) that Carteret "had a genteeler manner of binding the chains of the kingdom than most of his predecessors." It was to Carteret that Swift made his well-known remark, on an occasion of a visit, "What, in God's name, do you do here? Get back to your own country, and send us our boobies again."

Swift was well aware that Carteret had not the power to make the changes in Ireland necessary for its well-being. Such changes could come only from the government in England, and as this was implacable, Carteret was but an instrument in its hands. Swift was therefore compelled to rest content with obtaining what favours he could for those friends of his who he knew deserved advancement, and he allowed no occasion to slip by without soliciting in their behalf.

Richard Tighe (who had managed to injure Sheridan in his chaplaincy), with a number of the more violent members of the Whigs in Ireland, took up Carteret's conduct, attempted, by means of their interpretation of the Lord Lieutenant's promotions, to injure him with the government, and accused him of advancing individuals who were enemies of the government. Swift took up the charge in his usual ironical manner, and wrote the Vindication which follows.

Carteret, it may be added here, was dismissed from his office in 1730, and joined Pulteney in a bitter struggle against Walpole, which culminated in his famous resolution, presented to the House of Lords, desiring that the King should remove Walpole from his presence and counsels for ever. Carteret failed, but Walpole was compelled to resign in 1742. The rest of Carteret's career bears no relation to Irish affairs.

* * * * *

The present text is founded on that of the original London edition printed in 1730, collated with the Dublin edition of the same date. They differ in many minor details from that given by Scott in 1824.

[T. S.]

A

VINDICATION

OF HIS

EXCELLENCY

THE

Lord _C----T_,

FROM THE

CHARGE

Of favouring none but

TORIES, HIGH-CHURCHMEN and

JACOBITES.

* * * * *

By the Reverend Dr, _S----T_.

* * * * *

LONDON:

Printed for T. WARNER at the _Black-Boy_ in _Pater-Noster-Row_. MDCCXXX.

(Price _6d._)

A VINDICATION OF HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN, LORD CARTERET.

In order to treat this important subject with the greatest fairness and impartiality, perhaps it may be convenient to give some account of his Excellency in whose life and character there are certain particulars, which might give a very just suspicion of some truth in the accusation he lies under.

He is descended from two noble, ancient, and most loyal families, the Carterets and the Granvilles. Too much distinguish'd, I confess, for what they acted, and what they suffer'd in defending the former Constitution in Church and State, under King Charles the Martyr; I mean that very Prince, on account of whose martyrdom "a Form of Prayer, with Fasting," was enjoined, by Act of Parliament, "to be used on the 30th day of January every year, to implore the mercies of God, that the guilt of that sacred and innocent blood, might not be visited on us or our posterity," as we may read at large in our Common Prayer Books. Which day hath been solemnly kept, even within the memory of many men now alive.

His Excellency, the present Lord, was educated in the University of Oxford,[145] from whence, with a singularity scarce to be justified, he carried away more Greek, Latin, and philosophy, than properly became a person of his rank, indeed much more of each than most of those who are forced to live by their learning, will be at the unnecessary pains to load their heads with.

This was the rock he split on, upon his first appearance in the world, and just got clear of his guardians. For, as soon as he came to town, some bishops, and clergymen, and other persons most eminent for learning and parts, got him among them, from whom though he were fortunately dragged by a lady and the Court, yet he could never wipe off the stain, nor wash out the tincture of his University acquirements and dispositions.

To this another misfortune was added; that it pleased God to endow him with great natural talents, memory, judgment, comprehension, eloquence, and wit. And, to finish the work, all these were fortified even in his youth, with the advantages received by such employments as are best fitted both to exercise and polish the gifts of nature and education; having been Ambassador in several Courts when his age would hardly allow him to take a degree, and made principal Secretary of State, at a period when, according to custom, he ought to have been busied in losing his money at a chocolate-house, or in other amusements equally laudable and epidemic among persons of honour.

I cannot omit another weak side in his Excellency, for it is known, and can be proved upon him, that Greek and Latin books might be found every day in his dressing-room, if it were carefully searched; and there is reason to suspect, that some of the said books have been privately conveyed to him by Tory hands. I am likewise assured, that he hath been taken in the very fact of reading the said books, even in the midst of a session, to the great neglect of public affairs.[146]

I own there may be some grounds for this charge, because I have it from good hands, that when his Excellency is at dinner with one or two scholars at his elbows, he grows a most unsupportable, and unintelligible companion to all the fine gentlemen round the table.

I cannot deny that his Excellency lies under another great disadvantage. For, with all the accomplishments above-mentioned, adding that of a most comely and graceful person, and during the prime of youth, spirits, and vigor, he hath in a most unexemplary manner led a regular domestic life, discovers a great esteem, and friendship, and love for his lady, as well as a true affection for his children; and when he is disposed to admit an entertaining evening companion, he doth not always enough reflect whether the person may possibly in former days have lain under the imputation of a Tory; nor at such times do the natural or affected fears of Popery and the Pretender make any part of the conversation; I presume, because neither Homer, Plato, Aristotle, nor Cicero have made any mention of them.

These I freely acknowledge to be his Excellency's failings: Yet I think it is agreed by philosophers and divines, that some allowance ought to be given to human infirmity, and the prejudices of a wrong education.

I am well aware how much my sentiments differ from the orthodox opinion of one or two principal patriots, (at the head of whom I name with honour Pistorides.[147]) For these have decided the matter directly against me, by declaring that no person who was ever known to lie under the suspicion of one single Tory principle, or who had been once seen at a great man's levee in the worst of times,[148] should be allowed to come within the verge of the Castle; much less to bow in the antechamber, appear at the assemblies, or dance at a birth-night. However, I dare assert, that this maxim hath been often controlled, and that on the contrary a considerable number of early penitents have been received into grace, who are now an ornament, happiness, and support to the nation.

Neither do I find any murmuring on some other points of greater importance, where this favourite maxim is not so strictly observed.

To instance only in one. I have not heard that any care hath hitherto been taken to discover whether Madam Violante[149] be a Whig or Tory in her principles, or even that she hath ever been offered the oaths to the Government; on the contrary I am told that she openly professes herself to be a high-flyer, and it is not improbable, by her outlandish name she may also be a Papist in her heart; yet we see this illustrious and dangerous female openly caressed by principal persons of both parties, who contribute to support her in a splendid manner, without the least apprehensions from a grand jury, or even from Squire Hartley Hutcheson himself, that zealous prosecutor of hawkers and libels.[150] And as Hobbes wisely observes, so much money being equivalent to so much power, it may deserve considering with what safety such an instrument of power ought to be trusted in the hands of an alien, who hath not given any legal security for her good affection to the government.

I confess, there is one evil which I could wish our friends would think proper to redress. There are many Whigs in this Kingdom of the old-fashioned stamp, of whom we might make very good use; They bear the same loyalty with us, to the Hanoverian family, in the person of King George II.; the same abhorrence of the Pretender, with the consequent of Popery and slavery; and the same indulgence to tender consciences; but having nothing to ask for themselves, and consequently the more leisure to think for the public, they are often apt to entertain fears, and melancholy prospects concerning the state of their country, the decay of trade, the want of money, the miserable condition of the people, with other topics of like nature, all which do equally concern both Whig and Tory, who if they have anything to lose must be equally sufferers. Perhaps one or two of these melancholy gentlemen will sometimes venture to publish their thoughts in print: Now I can by no means approve our usual custom of cursing and railing at this species of thinkers under the names of Tories, Jacobites, Papists, libellers, rebels, and the like.

This was the utter ruin of that poor, angry, bustling, well-meaning mortal Pistorides, who lies equally under the contempt of both parties, with no other difference than a mixture of pity on one side, and of aversion on the other.

How hath he been pelted, pestered, and pounded by one single wag, who promiseth never to forsake him living or dead![151]

I was much pleased with the humour of a surgeon in this town, who having in his own apprehension, received some great injustice from the Earl of Galway,[152] and despairing of revenge, as well as relief, declared to all his friends that he had set apart a hundred guineas to purchase the Earl's carcase from the sexton, whenever it should die; to make a skeleton of the bones, stuff the hide, and shew them for threepence; and thus get vengeance for the injuries he had suffered by the owner.

Of the like spirit too often is that implacable race of wits, against whom there is no defence but innocence, and philosophy: Neither of which is likely to be at hand; and therefore the wounded have nowhere to fly for a cure, but to downright stupidity, a crazed head, or a profligate contempt of guilt and shame.

I am therefore sorry for that other miserable creature Traulus,[153] who although of somewhat a different species, yet seems very far to outdo even the genius of Pistorides, in that miscarrying talent of railing without consistency or discretion, against the most innocent persons, according to the present situation of his gall and spleen. I do not blame an _honest_ gentleman for the bitterest invectives against one to whom he professeth the greatest friendship; provided he acts in the dark, so as not to be discovered. But in the midst of caresses, visits, and invitations, to run into the streets, or to as public a place, and without the least pretended excitement, sputter out the basest and falsest accusations; then to wipe his mouth, come up smiling to his friend, shake him by the hand, and tell him in a whisper, it was "all for his service;" this proceeding, I am bold to think a great failure in prudence; and I am afraid lest such a practitioner, with a body so open, so foul, and so full of sores, may fall under the resentment of an incensed political surgeon, who is not in much renown for his mercy upon great provocation: who without waiting for his death, will flay, and dissect him alive, and to the view of mankind lay open all the disordered cells of his brain, the venom of his tongue, the corruption of his heart, and spots and flatuses of his spleen--And all this for threepence.[154]

In such a case what a scene would be laid open! and to drop my metaphor what a character of our mistaking friend might an angry enemy draw and expose! particularizing that unnatural conjunction of vices and follies, so inconsistent with each other in the same breast: Furious and fawning, scurrilous and flattering, cowardly and provoking, insolent and abject; most profligately false, with the strongest professions of sincerity, positive and variable, tyrannical and slavish.

I apprehend that if all this should be set out to the world by an angry Whig of the old stamp, the unavoidable consequence must be a confinement of our friend for some months more to his garret, and thereby depriving the public for so long a time, and in so important a juncture, of his useful talents in their service, while he is fed like a wild beast through a hole; but I hope with a special regard to the quantity and quality of his nourishment.

In vain would his excusers endeavour to palliate his enormities, by imputing them to madness:[155] Because, it is well known, that madness only operates by inflaming and enlarging the good or evil dispositions of the mind: For the curators of Bedlam assure us, that some lunatics are persons of honour, truth, benevolence, and many other virtues, which appear in their highest ravings, although after a wild incoherent manner; while others on the contrary, discover in every word and action the utmost baseness and depravity of human minds; which infallibly they possessed in the same degree, although perhaps under a better regulation, before their entrance into that academy.

But it may be objected, that there is an argument of much force to excuse the overflowings of that zeal, which our friend shews or means for our cause. And it must be confessed, that the easy and smooth fluency of his elocution bestowed on him by nature, and cultivated by continual practice, added to the comeliness of his person, the harmony of his voice, the gracefulness of his manner, and the decency of his dress, are temptations too strong for such a genius to resist upon any public occasion of making them appear with universal applause: And if good men are sometimes accused of loving their jest better than their friend, surely to gain the reputation of the first orator in the kingdom, no man of spirit would scruple to lose all the friends he had in the world.

It is usual for masters to make their boys declaim on both sides of an argument; and as some kinds of assemblies are called the schools of politics, I confess nothing can better improve political school-boys, than the art of making plausible or implausible harangues, against the very opinion for which they resolve to determine.

So Cardinal Perron after having spoke for an hour to the admiration of all his hearers, to prove the existence of God; told some of his intimates that he could have spoken another hour, and much better, to prove the contrary.

I have placed this reasoning in the strongest light, that I think it will bear; and have nothing to answer, but that allowing it as much weight as the reader shall please, it hath constantly met with ill success in the mouth of our friend, whether for want of good luck, or good management I suspend my judgment.

To return from this long digression. If persons in high stations have been allowed to choose mistresses, without regard even to difference in religion, yet never incurred the least reflection on their loyalty or their Protestantism; shall the chief governor of a great kingdom be censured for choosing a companion, who may formerly have been suspected for differing from the orthodox in some speculative opinions of persons and things, which cannot affect the fundamental principles of a sound Whig?

But let me suppose a very possible case. Here is a person sent to govern Ireland, whose unfortunate weak side it happens to be, for several reasons above-mentioned, that he hath encouraged the attendance of one or two gentlemen distinguished for their taste, their wit, and their learning; who have taken the oaths to his Majesty, and pray heartily for him: Yet because they may perhaps be stigmatized as _quondam_ Tories by Pistorides and his gang; his Excellency must be forced to banish them under the pain and peril of displeasing the zealots of his own party; and thereby be put into a worse condition than every common good-fellow; who may be a sincere Protestant, and a loyal subject, and yet rather choose to drink fine ale at the Pope's head, than muddy at the King's.

Let me then return to my supposition. It is certain, the high-flown loyalists in the present sense of the word, have their thoughts, and studies, and tongues so entirely diverted by political schemes, that the zeal of their principles hath eaten up their understandings; neither have they time from their employments, their hopes, and their hourly labours for acquiring new additions of merit, to amuse themselves with philological converse, or speculations which are utterly ruinous to all schemes of rising in the world: What must then a great man do whose ill stars have fatally perverted him to a love, and taste, and possession of literature, politeness, and good sense? Our thorough-sped republic of Whigs, which contains the bulk of all hopers, pretenders, expecters and professors, are, beyond all doubt, most highly useful to princes, to governors, to great ministers, and to their country, but at the same time, and by necessary consequence, the most disagreeable companions to all who have that unfortunate turn of mind peculiar to his Excellency, and perhaps to five or six more in a nation.

I do not deny it possible, that an original or proselyte favourer of the times, might have been born to those useless talents which in former ages qualified a man to be a poet, or a philosopher. All I contend for is, that where the true genius of party once enters, it sweeps the house clean, and leaves room for many other spirits to take joint possession, till the last state of that man is exceedingly better than the first.

I allow it a great error in his Excellency that he adheres so obstinately to his old unfashionable academic education: Yet so perverse is human nature, that the usual remedies for this evil in others, have produced a contrary effect in him; to a degree, that I am credibly informed, he will, as I have already hinted, in the middle of a session quote passages out of Plato, and Pindar at his own table to some book-learned companion, without blushing, even when persons of great stations are by.

I will venture one step further; which is, freely to confess, that this mistaken method of educating youth in the knowledge of ancient learning and language, is too apt to spoil their politics and principles; because the doctrine and examples of the books they read, teach them lessons directly contrary in every point to the present practice of the world: And accordingly, Hobbes most judiciously observes, that the writings of the Greeks and Romans made young men imbibe opinions against absolute power in a prince, or even in a first minister, and to embrace notions of liberty and property.

It hath been therefore a great felicity to these kingdoms, that the heirs to titles and large estates, have a weakness in their eyes, a tenderness in their constitutions, are not able to bear the pain and indignity of whipping; and as the mother rightly expresses it, could never take to their book; yet are well enough qualified to sign a receipt for half a year's rent, to put their names (_rightly spelt_) to a warrant, and to read pamphlets against religion and high-flying; whereby they fill their niches, and carry themselves through the world with that dignity which best becomes a senator, and a squire.[156]