Part 5

“With face so bold, and teeth so sharp, Of viper’s venome, why dost carp? Why are my verses by thee weigh’d In a false scale? may truth be said? Whilst thou to get the more esteem A learned Poet fain wouldst seem, Skelton, thou art, let all men know it, Neither learned, nor a Poet.”

[104] Vol. i. 419.

[105] See vol. i. 361.

[106] See Notes, vol. ii. 318.

[107] It was granted to him by the king for life.

[108] Vol. i. 419. Concerning this college, see Notes, vol. ii. 334.

[109] _A Replycacion agaynst certayne yong scolers abiured of late, &c._ vol. i. 206. In _Typograph. Antiq._ ii. 539. ed. Dibdin, where the _Replycacion_ is described and quoted from Heber’s copy, we are told that it has “a Latin address to Thomas —— who [_sic_] he [Skelton] calls an excellent patron,” &c. That the editor should have read the address without discovering that the said _Thomas_ was Cardinal Wolsey, is truly marvellous.

[110] _Garlande of Laurell_, vol. i. 424.

[111] See vol. ii. 83, where this _Lenuoy_ (which will be more particularly noticed presently) is appended to the poem _Howe the douty Duke of Albany_, &c.

[112] Vol. i. 199.

[113] _Animadversions vppon the annotacions and correctōns of some imperfectōns of impressōnes of Chaucers Workes_, &c. p. 13,—in Todd’s _Illust. of Gower and Chaucer_.

I may notice here, that among the _Harleian MSS._ (2252, fols. 156, 158) are two poems on the Cardinal, which in the Catalogue of that collection Wanley has described as “Skelton’s libels;” but they are evidently not by him.

[114] Wolsey had previously been named a Cardinal in 1515.—Fiddes (_Life of Wolsey_, p. 99. ed. 1726) says that he became Legate _a latere_ in 1516: but see _State Papers_ (1830), i. 9 (note). Lingard’s _Hist. of Engl._ vi. 57. ed. 8vo, &c.—Hoping to ascertain the exact date of the _Replycacion_, &c. (which contains the first of the passages now under consideration), I have consulted various books for some mention of the “young hereticks” against whom that piece was written; but without success.

[115] We cannot settle this point by a comparison of old editions, the poem against Albany and the two L’Envoys which follow it being extant only in the ed. of Marshe.—It may be doubted, too, if the L’Envoy which I have cited at p. xli, “_Perge, liber_,” &c. belongs to the _Garlande of Laurell_, to which it is affixed in Marshe’s edition as a _second_ L’Envoy: in Faukes’s edition of that poem, which I conceive to be the first that was printed, it is not found: the Cott. MS. of the _Garlande_ is unfortunately imperfect at the end.

[116] i. e. sword.

[117] _Chron._ (_Hen._ viii.) fol. cx. ed. 1548.

[118] “Ob literas quasdam in Cardinalem Vuolsium inuectiuas, ad Vuestmonasteriense tandem asylum confugere, pro uita seruanda, coactus fuit: ubi nihilominus sub abbate Islepo fauorem inuenit.” Bale, _Script. Illust. Brit._ p. 651. ed. 1559.—“Vbi licet Abbatis Islepi fauore protegeretur, tamen vitam ibi, quantumuis antea iucunde actam, tristi exitu conclusit.” Pits, _De Illust. Angl. Script._ p. 701. ed. 1619.—“But Cardinal Wolsey (_impar congressus_, betwixt a poor Poet and so potent a Prelate) being inveighed against by his pen, and charged with too much truth, so persecuted him, that he was forced to take Sanctuary at Westminster, where Abbot Islip used him with much respect,” &c. Fuller’s _Worthies_ (_Norfolk_), p. 257. ed. 1662.—“He [Skelton] was so closely pursued by his [Wolsey’s] officers, that he was forced to take sanctuary at Westminster, where he was kindly entertained by John Islipp the abbat, and continued there to the time of his death.” Wood’s _Ath. Oxon._ i. 51. ed. Bliss, who adds in a note; “The original MS. register of this sanctuary, which must have been a great curiosity, was in Sir Henry Spelman’s library, and was purchased at the sale of that collection by Wanley for Lord Weymouth. MS. note in Wanley’s copy of Nicholson’s _Historical Library_ in the Bodleian.”

[119] John Islip was elected abbot in 1500, and died in 1532: see Widmore’s _Hist. of West. Abbey_, 119, 123. “John Skelton ... is said by the late learned Bishop of Derry, Nicholson (_Hist. Lib._ chap. 2.) to have first collected the Epitaphs of our Kings, Princes, and Nobles, that lie buried at the Abbey Church of Westminster: but I apprehend this to be no otherwise true, than that, when he, to avoid the anger of Cardinal Wolsey, had taken sanctuary at Westminster, to recommend himself to Islip, the Abbot at that time, he made some copies of verses to the memories of King Henry the Seventh and his Queen, and his mother the Countess of Richmond, and perhaps some other persons buried in this church.” _Account of Writers_, &c., p. 5, appended to Widmore’s _Enquiry into the time of the found. of West. Abbey_.—Widmore is mistaken: neither in Marshe’s ed. of Skelton’s _Workes_, 1568, nor in the _Reges, Reginæ, Nobiles_, &c., 1603, is there any copy of verses by our author _on the Queen of Henry the Seventh_: see in vol. i. 178, 179, 195, the three pieces which I have given from those sources: two of them at least were composed before the poet had sought refuge at Westminster, for one (written at Islip’s request) is dated 1512, and another, 1516; the third has no date.

[120] See p. xxix.

[121] “De morte Cardinalis uaticinium edidit: & eius ueritatem euentus declarauit.” Bale, _Script. Illust. Brit._ p. 652. ed. 1559.—“The word _Vates_ being Poet or Prophet, minds me of this dying Skeltons prediction, foretelling the ruine of Cardinal Wolsey. Surely, one unskilled in prophecies, if well versed in Solomons Proverbs, might have prognosticated as much, that _Pride goeth before a fall_.” Fuller’s _Worthies_ (_Norfolk_), p. 257. ed. 1662.—Did not this anecdote originate in certain verses of _Cotyn Cloute_? See the fragment from _Lansdown MSS._, vol. i. 329, note.

[122] “Vuestmonasterii tandem, captiuitatis suæ tempore, mortuus est: & in D. Margaritæ sacello sepultus, cum hac inscriptione alabastrica: Johannes Skeltonus, uates Pierius, hic situs est. Animam egit 21 die Junii, anno Dn̄i 1529, relictis liberis.” Bale, _Script. Illust. Brit._, p. 652. ed. 1559. See also Pits (_De Illust. Angl. Script._, p. 703. ed. 1619) and Fuller (_Worthies, Norfolk_, p. 257. ed. 1662), who give _Joannes Sceltonus vates Pierius hic situs est_ as the whole of Skelton’s epitaph. Weever, however (_Fun. Momum._, p. 497. ed. 1631), makes “_animam egit_, 21 _Junii_ 1529” a portion of it, and in a marginal note substitutes “ejicit” for “_egit_,” as if _correcting_ the Latinity!! So too Wood (_Ath. Oxon._ i. 52. ed. Bliss.), who places “ejicit” between brackets after “_egit_,” and states (what the other writers do not mention) that the inscription was put on the tomb “soon after” Skelton’s death.

In the _Church-Wardens Accompts of St. Margaret’s, Westminster_ (Nichols’s _Illust. of Manners and Expences_, &c. 4to. p. 9), we find this entry;

_£._ _s._ _d._ “1529. Item, of Mr. Skelton for viii tapers 0 2 8”

The institution of the person who succeeded Skelton as rector of Diss is dated 17th July: see first note on the present Memoir.

[123] See note, p. xxxvi.

[124] e. g. the portrait on the title-page of _Dyuers Balettys and Dyties solacyous_ (evidently from the press of Pynson; see Appendix II. to this Memoir) is given as a portrait of “Doctor Boorde” in the _Boke of Knowledge_ (see reprint, sig. I); and (as Mr. F. R. Atkinson of Manchester obligingly informed me by letter some years ago) the strange fantastic figure on the reverse of the title-page of Faukes’s ed. of the _Garlande of Laurell_, 1523 (poorly imitated in _The Brit. Bibliogr._ iv. 389) is a copy of an early French print.

[125] “Warton has undervalued him [Skelton]; which is the more remarkable, because Warton was a generous as well as a competent critic. He seems to have been disgusted with buffooneries, which, like those of Rabelais, were thrown out as a tub for the whale; for unless Skelton had written thus for the coarsest palates, he could not have poured forth his bitter and undaunted satire in such perilous times.” Southey,—_Select Works of Brit. Poets_ (1831), p. 61.

[126] _Amen. of Lit._ ii. 69.

[127] Vol. i. 313.

[128]

“Satire should, like a polish’d razor, keen, Wound with a touch that’s scarcely felt or seen: _Thine is an oyster-knife that hacks and hews_,” &c.

_Verses addressed to the imitator of the First Satire of the Second Book of Horace_ (the joint-composition of Lord Hervey and Lady M. W. Montagu).

[129] _Remains_, ii. 163.

[130]

“_Of Vertu_ also _the_ souerayne _enterlude_.”

_Garlande of Laurell_, vol. i. 408.

[131]

“_His commedy, Achademios_ callyd by name.”

_Id._ p. 409.

[132] See Appendix II. to this Memoir.—Mr. Collier is mistaken in supposing Skelton’s “paiauntis that were played in Ioyows Garde” to have been dramatic compositions: see Notes, vol. ii. 330.

[133] A writer, of whose stupendous ignorance a specimen has been already cited (p. xxx, note 3), informs us that _Magnyfycence_ “is one of the dullest plays in our language.” _Eminent Lit. and Scient. Men of Great Britain_, &c. (Lardner’s _Cyclop._), i. 281.

[134] See Appendix III. to this Memoir, and _Poems attributed to Skelton_, vol. ii. 385.

[135] _Amen. of Lit._ ii. 69.

[136] _Hist. of E. P._ ii. 356.

[137]

“In hevyn blyse ye xalle wyn to be Amonge the blyssyd company _omnium supernorum_ Ther as is alle merth joye and glee _Inter agmina angelorum_ In blyse to abyde.”

_Coventry Mysteries,—MS. Cott. Vesp. D._ viii. fol. 112.

A reprint of Marshe’s ed. of Skelton’s _Workes_ having appeared in 1736, Pope took occasion, during the next year, to mention them in the following terms,—casting a blight on our poet’s reputation, from which it has hardly yet recovered;

“Chaucer’s worst ribaldry is learn’d by rote, And _beastly Skelton_ Heads of Houses quote”—

Note—“Skelton, Poet Laureat to Hen. 8. a Volume of whose Verses has been lately reprinted, consisting almost wholly of Ribaldry, Obscenity, and Billingsgate Language.” _The First Epistle of the Second Book of Horace imitated_, 1737. But Pope was unjust to Skelton; for, though expressions of decided grossness occur in his writings, _they are comparatively few_; and during his own time, so far were such expressions from being regarded as offensive to decency, that in all probability his royal pupil would not have scrupled to employ them in the presence of Anne Bulleyn and her maids of honour.

Since the Memoir of Skelton was sent to press, Mr. W. H. Black (with his usual kindness) has pointed out to me the following entry;

23d Feb. 12 Edw. iv. [1473]. “Tribus _subclericis_, videlicet Roberto Lane, Nicholao Neubold, et _Johanni Skelton_, videlicet prædicto Roberto l._s._ et prædictis Nicholao et Johanni cuilibet eorum xl._s._” (A like payment was made to _John Skelton_ on the 9th of Dec. preceding, when he is mentioned with others under the general denomination of _clerks_.) _Books of the Treasury of the Receipt of the Exchequer_,—_A_ 4. 38. fols. 26, 27. (Public Record Office).

There is, Mr. Black thinks, a possibility that Skelton had been employed, while a youth, as an under-clerk in the Receipt of the Exchequer; and observes, that it would seem to have been a temporary occupation, as there is no trace of any person of that name among the admissions to offices in the Black Book.

APPENDIX I.

MERIE TALES OF SKELTON (see Memoir, p. xxx.); AND NOTICES OF SKELTON FROM VARIOUS SOURCES.

MERIE TALES

Newly Imprinted & made by Master Skelton Poet Laureat.

¶ Imprinted at London in Fleetstreat beneath the Conduit at the signe of S. John Euangelist, by Thomas Colwell.

[12ᵐᵒ. n. d.]

Here begynneth certayne merye tales of Skelton, Poet Lauriat.

¶ How Skelten came late home to Oxford from Abington. Tale i.

Skelton was an Englysheman borne as Skogyn was, and hee was educated & broughte vp in Oxfoorde: and there was he made a poete lauriat. And on a tyme he had ben at Abbington to make mery, wher that he had eate salte meates, and hee did com late home to Oxforde, and he did lye in an ine named yᵉ Tabere whyche is now the Angell, and hee dyd drynke, & went to bed. About midnight he was so thyrstie or drye that hee was constrained to call to the tapster for drynke, & the tapster harde him not. Then hee cryed to hys oste & hys ostes, and to the ostler, for drinke; and no man wold here hym: alacke, sayd Skelton, I shall peryshe for lacke of drynke! what reamedye? At the last he dyd crie out and sayd, Fyer, fyer, fyer! When Skelton hard euery man bustled hymselfe vpward, & some of them were naked, & some were halfe asleepe and amased, and Skelton dyd crye, Fier, fier, styll, that euerye man knewe not whether to resorte; Skelton did go to bed, and the oste and ostis, & the tapster with the ostler, dyd runne to Skeltons chamber with candles lyghted in theyr handes, saying, Where, where, where is the fyer? Here, here, here, said Skelton, & poynted hys fynger to hys moouth, saying, Fetch me some drynke to quenche the fyer and the heate and the drinesse in my mouthe: & so they dyd. Wherfore it is good for euerye man to helpe hys owne selfe in tyme of neede wythe some policie or crafte, so bee it there bee no deceit nor falshed vsed.

¶ How Skelton drest the Kendallman in the sweat time. [Tale ii.]

On a time Skelton rode from Oxforde to London with a Kendalman, and at Uxbridge they beyted. The Kendallman layd hys cap vpon the borde in the hall, and he went to serue hys horse. Skelton tooke yᵉ Kendalmans cappe, and dyd put betwixte the linyng & the vtter syde a dishe of butter: and when the Kendalman had drest hys horse, hee dyd come in to diner, and dyd put on hys cappe (that tyme the sweating sycknes was in all Englande); at the last, when the butter had take heate of the Kendallmans heade, it dyd begynne to run ouer hys face and aboute hys cheekes. Skelton sayde, Syr, you sweate soore: beware yᵗ you haue not the sweatynge sycknesse. The Kendalman sayde, By the mysse, Ise wrang; I bus goe tyll bed. Skelton sayd, I am skild on phisicke, & specially in the sweatynge sycknesse, that I wyll warant any man. In gewd faith, saith the Kendallman, do see, and Ise bay for your skott to London. Then sayde Skelton, Get you a kerchiefe, and I wyll bryng you abed: the whiche was donne. Skelton caused the capp to bee sod in hoat lee, & dryed it: in the mornyng Skelton and the Kendalman dyd ride merely to London.

¶ Howe Skelton tolde the man that Chryst was very busye in the woodes with them that made fagots. Tale iii.

When Skelton did cum to London, ther were manye men at the table at diner. Amongest all other there was one sayde to Skelton, Be you of Oxforde or of Cambridge a scoler? Skelton sayd, I am of Oxford. Syr, sayde the man, I will put you a question: you do know wel that after Christ dyd rise from death to life, it was xl. days after ere he dyd ascend into heauen, and hee was but certaine times wyth hys discyples, and when that he did appeare to them, hee dyd neuer tary longe amongest them, but sodainely vanished from them; I wold fayne know (saith the man to Skelton) where Chryste was all these xl. dayes. Where hee was, saythe Skelton, God knoweth; he was verye busye in the woods among hys labourers, that dyd make fagottes to burne heretickes, & such as thou art the whych doest aske such diffuse questions: but nowe I wyll tell thee more; when hee was not with hys mother & hys disciples, hee was in Paradyce, to comforte the holye patriarches and prophets soules, the which before he had fet out of hell. And at the daye of hys ascencion, hee tooke them all vp wyth him into heauen.

¶ Howe the Welshman dyd desyre Skelton to ayde hym in hys sute to the kynge for a patent to sell drynke. The iiii. Tale.

Skelton, when he was in London, went to the kynges courte, where there did come to hym a Welshman, saying, Syr, it is so, that manye dooth come vpp of my country to the kyngs court, and some doth get of the kyng by patent a castell, and some a parke, & some a forest, and some one fee and some another, and they dooe lyue lyke honest men; and I shoulde lyue as honestly as the best, if I myght haue a patyne for good dryncke: wherefore I dooe praye you to write a fewe woords for mee in a lytle byll to geue the same to the kynges handes, and I wil geue you well for your laboure. I am contented, sayde Skelton. Syt downe then, sayde the Welshman, and write. What shall I wryte? sayde Skelton. The Welshman sayde, Wryte, dryncke. Nowe, sayd the Welshman, wryte, more dryncke. What now? sayde Skelton. Wryte nowe, a great deale of dryncke. Nowe, sayd the Welshman, putte to all thys dryncke a littell crome of breade, and a great deale of drynke to it, and reade once agayne. Skelton dyd reade, Dryncke, more dryncke, & a great deale of dryncke, and a lytle crome of breade, and a great deale of dryncke to it. Then the Welsheman sayde, Put out the litle crome of breade, and sett in, all dryncke, and no breade: and if I myght haue thys sygned of the kynge, sayde the Welsheman, I care for no more as longe as I dooe lyue. Well then, sayde Skelton, when you haue thys signed of the kyng, then wyll I labour for a patent to haue bread, that you wyth your drynke, and I with the bread, may fare well, and seeke our liuinge with bagge and staffe.

¶ Of Swanborne the knaue, that was buried vnder Saint Peters wall in Oxford. [Tale v.]

There was dwelling in Oxford a stark knaue, whose name was Swanborn; and he was such a notable knaue that, if any scoler had fallen out thone wyth thother, the one woulde call thother Swanborn, the whyche they dyd take for a worser woorde then knaue. Hys wife woulde diuers tymes in the weeke kimbe his head with a iii. footed stoole: then hee woulde runne out of the doores wepinge, and if anye man had asked hym what he dyd aile, other whyle he woulde saye hee had the megrym in hys head, or ells, there was a great smoke wythin the house: & if the doores were shut, hys wyfe woulde beate him vnder the bed, or into the bench hole, and then he woulde looke out at the cat hole; then woulde his wife saye, Lookest thou out, whoreson? Yea, woulde he saye, thou shalt neuer let me of my manly lookes. Then with her distaff she would poore in at hym. I knewe him when that he was a boye in Oxforde; hee was a littell olde fellowe, and woulde lye as fast as a horse woulde trotte. At last hee dyed, and was buried vnder the wall of S. Peters church. Then Skelton was desyred to make an epitaphe vppon the churche wall, & dyd wryte wyth a role, saying, Belsabub his soule saue, _Qui iacet hic hec_ a knaue: _Jam scio[138] mortuus est, Et iacet hic hec_ a beast: _Sepultus[139] est_ amonge the weedes: God forgiue him his misdeedes!

¶ Howe Skelton was complayned on to the bishop of Norwich. Tale vi.

Skelton dyd keepe a musket at Dys, vpon the which he was complayned on to the bishop of Norwych. The byshoppe sent for Skelton. Skelton dyd take two capons, to geue theym for a presente to the byshop. And as soone as hee had saluted the byshopp, hee sayde, My lorde, here I haue brought you a couple of capons. The byshop was blynde, and sayde, Who bee you? I am Skelton, sayd Skelton. The byshop sayd, A hoare head! I will none of thy capons: thou keepest vnhappye rule in thy house, for the whyche thou shalt be punished. What, sayde Skelton, is the winde at that doore? and sayd, God be with you, my lorde! and Skelton with his capons went hys way. The byshop sent after Skelton to come agayne. Skelton sayde, What, shal I come[140] agayne to speake wythe a madde man? At last hee retourned to the byshop, whyche sayde to hym, I would, sayd the byshop, that you shoulde not lyue suche a sclaunderouse lyfe, that all your parisshe shoulde not wonder & complaine on you as they dooe; I pray you amende, and hereafter lyue honestlye, that I heare no more suche woordes of you; and if you wyll tarye dynner, you shall be welcome; and I thanke you, sayde the byshoppe, for your capons. Skelton sayde, My lord, my capons haue proper names; the one is named Alpha, the other is named Omega: my lorde, sayd Skelton, this capon is named Alpha, thys is the fyrst capon that I dyd euer geue to you; and this capon is named Omega, and this is the last capon that euer I wil giue you: & so fare you well, sayd Skelton.

¶ Howe Skelton, when hee came from the bishop, made a sermon. Tale vii.

Skelton the nexte Sondaye after wente into the pulpet to prech, and sayde, _Vos estis, vos estis_, that is to saye, You be, you be. And what be you? sayd Skelton: I saye, that you bee a sorte of knaues, yea, and a man might saye worse then knaues; and why, I shall shew you. You haue complayned of mee to the bysop that I doo keepe a fayre wench in my house: I dooe tell you, if you had any fayre wiues, it were some what to helpe me at neede; I am a man as you be: you haue foule wyues, and I haue a faire wenche, of the whyche I haue begotten a fayre boye, as I doe thinke, and as you all shall see. Thou wyfe, sayde Skelton, that hast my childe, be not afraid; bring me hither my childe to me: the whyche was doone. And he, shewynge his childe naked to all the parishe, sayde, How saye you, neibours all? is not this child as fayre as is the beste of all yours? It hathe nose, eyes, handes, and feete, as well as any of your: it is not lyke a pygge, nor a calfe, nor like no foule nor no monstruous beast. If I had, sayde Skelton, broughte forthe thys chylde without armes or legges, or that it wer deformed, being a monstruous thyng, I woulde neuer haue blamed you to haue complayned to the bishop of me; but to complain without a cause, I say, as I said before in my antethem, _vos estis_, you be, and haue be, & wyll and shall be knaues, to complayne of me wythout a cause resonable. For you be presumptuous, & dooe exalte yourselues, and therefore you shall be made low: as I shall shewe you a famyller example of a parish priest, the whiche dyd make a sermon in Rome. And he dyd take that for hys antethem, the which of late dayes is named a theme, and sayde, _Qui se exaltat humiliabitur, et qui se[141] humiliat exaltabitur_, that is to say, he that doth exalte himselfe or dothe extoll hymselfe shalbe made meke, & he that doth humble hymselfe or is meke, shalbe exalted, extoulled, or eleuated, or sublimated, or such lyke: and that I will shewe you by this my cap. This cappe was fyrste my hoode, when that I was studente in Jucalico, & then it was so proude that it woulde not bee contented, but it woulde slippe and fall from my shoulders. I perceyuynge thys that he was proude, what then dyd I? shortly to conclude, I dyd make of hym a payre of breches to my hose, to brynge hym lowe. And when that I dyd see, knowe, or perceyue that he was in that case, and allmoste worne cleane oute, what dyd I then to extoll hym vppe agayne? you all may see that this my cap was made of it that was my breches. Therefore, sayde Skelton, _vos estis_, therfore you bee, as I dyd saye before: if that you exalte yourselfe, and cannot be contented that I haue my wenche still, some of you shall weare hornes; and therfore _vos estis_: and so farewell. It is merye in the hall, when beardes wagge all.

¶ How the fryer asked leaue of Skelton to preach at Dys, which Skelton wold not grant. Tale viii.