Part 21

Gup, Scot, Ye blot: _Laudate_ _Caudate_, Set in better Thy pentameter. This Dundas, This Scottishe as, He rymes and railes That Englishmen haue tailes. 10 _Skeltonus laureatus,_ _Anglicus natus,_ _Provocat Musas_ _Contra Dundas_ _Spurcissimum[742] Scotum,_ _Undique notum,_ _Rustice fotum,_ _Vapide potum._ Skelton laureat After this rate 20 Defendeth with his pen All Englysh men Agayn Dundas, That Scottishe asse. Shake thy tayle, Scot, lyke a cur, For thou beggest at euery mannes dur: Tut, Scot, I sey, Go shake thy[743] dog, hey! Dundas of Galaway With thy versyfyeng rayles 30 How they haue tayles. By Jesu Christ, Fals Scot, thou lyest: But behynd in our hose We bere there a rose For thy Scottyshe nose, A spectacle case To couer thy face, With tray deux ase. A tolman[744] to blot, 40 A rough foted Scot! Dundas, sir knaue, Why doste thow depraue This royall reame, Whose radiant beame And relucent light Thou hast in despite, Thou donghyll knyght? But thou lakest might, Dundas, dronken and drowsy, 50 Skabed, scuruy, and lowsy, Of vnhappy generacion And most vngracious nacion. Dundas, That dronke asse, That ratis and rankis, That prates and prankes On Huntley bankes, Take this our thankes; Dunde, Dunbar,[745] 60 Walke, Scot, Walke, sot, Rayle not to far.

[738] _Vilitissimus_] So, perhaps, Skelton wrote; but qy. “Vilissimus?”—This poem from Marshe’s ed. of Skelton’s _Workes_, 1568.

[739] _spurcaque_] Ed. “spureaquæ.”

[740] _pultas_] Ed. “pultes.”

[741] _miseris_] Ed. “miseres.”

[742] _Spurcissimum_] Ed. “Norpacissimum.”

[743] _thy_] Qy. “thé?” but see notes.

[744] _tolman_] See notes.

[745] _Dunde, Dunbar_] Ed. “Dunde bar.”

ELEGIA[746] IN SERENISSIMÆ PRINCIPIS ET DOMINÆ, DOMINÆ MARGARETÆ NUPER COMITISSÆ DE DERBY, STRENUISSIMI REGIS HENRICI SEPTIMI MATRIS, FUNEBRE MINISTERIUM, PER SKELTONIDA LAUREATUM, OBATOREM REGIUM, XVI. DIE[747] MENSIS AUGUSTI, ANNO SALUTIS MDXVI.

_Aspirate meis elegis, pia turma sororum,_ _Et Margaretam collacrymate piam._ _Hac sub mole latet regis celeberrima mater_ _Henrici magni, quem locus iste fovet;_ _Quem locus iste sacer celebri celebrat polyandro,_ _Illius en genitrix hac tumulatur humo!_ _Cui cedat Tanaquil (Titus hanc super astra reportet[748]),_ _Cedat Penelope, carus Ulixis[749] amor:_ _Huic[750] Abigail, velut Hester, erat pietate secunda:_ _En tres jam proceres nobilitate pares!_ 10 _Pro domina, precor, implora, pro principe tanta_ _Flecte Deum precibus, qui legis hos apices._ _Plura referre piget, calamus torpore rigescit,_ _Dormit Mecænas, negligitur probitas;_ _Nec juvat, aut modicum prodest, nunc ultima versu_ _Fata[751] recensere (mortua mors reor est)._ _Quæris quid decus est? decus est modo dicier hircus;[752]_ _Cedit honos hirco, cedit honorque capro._ _Falleris ipse Charon; iterum surrexit Abyron,_ _Et Stygios remos despicit ille tuos._ 20 _Vivitur ex voto: mentis præcordia tangunt_ _Nulla sepulcra ducum, nec monumenta patrum;_ _Non regum, non ulla hominum labentia fato_ _Tempora, nec totiens[753] mortua turba ruens._ _Hinc[754] statuo certe perituræ parcere chartæ,_ _Ceu Juvenalis avet[755] eximius satirus._

_Distichon execrationis in phagolœdoros._

_Qui lacerat, violatve rapit præsens epitoma,_ _Hunc laceretque voret Cerberus absque mora!_

_Calon,[756] agaton, cum areta. Re. in pa._ _Hanc tecum statuas dominam, precor, O sator orbis,_ _Quo regnas rutilans rex sine fine manens!_

[746] _Elegia, &c._] From Marshe’s ed. of Skelton’s _Workes_, 1568, collated with the piece as given in _Reges, Reginæ, Nobiles, et alii in Ecclesia Collegiata B. Petri Westmonasterii sepulti_, &c., 1603, 4to.

[747] _die_] Not in Marshe’s ed.

[748] _reportet_] So _Reges_, &c. Marshe’s ed. “reportat.”

[749] _Ulixis_] _Reges_, “Ulyssis.”

[750] _Huic_] Eds. “Hec” and “Hæc.”

[751] _Fata_] So _Reges_. Marshe’s ed. “Facta.”

[752] _hircus_] So _Reges_, &c. Marshe’s ed. “hircum.”

[753] _totiens_] _Reges_, &c. “toties.”

[754] _Hinc_] So _Reges_, &c. Marshe’s ed. “Hunc.”

[755] _avet_] Eds. “ouat.”

[756] _Calon, &c.... pa._] Placed after the next two lines in _Reges_, &c.

Why were ye[757] _Calliope_ embrawdred with letters of golde?

SKELTON LAUREATE, ORATO. REG. MAKETH THIS AUNSWERE, &C.

Calliope, As ye may se, Regent is she Of poetes al, Whiche gaue to me The high degre Laureat to be Of fame royall; Whose name enrolde With silke and golde 10 I dare be bolde Thus for to were. Of her I holde And her housholde; Though I waxe olde And somdele sere, Yet is she fayne, Voyde of disdayn, Me to retayne Her seruiture: 20 With her certayne I wyll remayne, As my souerayne Moost of pleasure, _Maulgre touz malheureux_.

[757] _Why were ye, &c._] These pieces on Calliope from Marshe’s ed. of Skelton’s _Workes_, 1568.

LATINUM CARMEN SEQUITUR.

_Cur tibi contexta est aurea_ Calliope?

RESPONSIO EJUSDEM VATIS.

_Candida Calliope, vatum regina, coronans_ _Pierios lauro, radiante intexta sub auro!_ _Hanc ego Pierius tanto dignabor honore,_ _Dum mihi vita manet, dum spiritus hos regit artus:_ _Quamquam conficior senio marcescoque sensim,_ _Ipse tamen gestare sua hæc pia pignora certo,_ _Assensuque suo placidis parebo camenis._ _Inclyta Calliope, et semper mea maxima cura est._

_Hæc Pierius omni Spartano[758] liberior._

CALLIOPE,

_Musarum excellentissima, speciosissima, formosissima, heroicis præest versibus._

[758] _Spartano_] Ed. “Spartane.”

THE BOKE OF THREE FOOLES,[759] M. SKELTON, POETE LAUREATE, GAUE TO MY LORD CARDYNALL.

THE FYRST FOOLE.

The man that doth wed a wyfe For her goodes and her rychesse, And not for lygnage femynatyfe, Procureth doloure and dystresse, With infynyte payne and heuynesse; For she wyll do hym moche sorowe, Bothe at euyn and at morowe.

THE SECONDE FOOLE.

The dartes ryght cursed of Enuye Hath rayned sythe the worlde began, Whiche bryngeth man euydently Into the bondes of Sathan; Wherfore he is a dyscrete man That can eschewe that euyll synne Where body and soule is lost in.

THE THYRD FOOLE.

Dyuers by voluptuousnes Of women, the which be present, Be brought into full great dystres, Forgettyng vertues excellent Of God, the whych is permanent, And suffreth themselfe to be bounde In cordes, as it were a hounde.

Come hyther, and take this boke, and rede therein for your lernyng with clere iyen, and loke in this boke, that sheweth you folysh fooles without wyt or vnderstanding. Pecunyous fooles, that bee auaryce, and for to haue good tyme and to lyue meryly, weddeth these olde wyddred women, whych hath sackes full of nobles, claryfye here your syghte, and ye shal know what goodnes commeth therby, and what joye and gladnes. Some there be that habandoneth themselfe for to gather togyther the donge that yssueth oute of theyr asses arse, for to fynde euermore grese: it is grete foly trulye; but yet the yonge man is more folyssher the whiche weddeth an olde wyfe, for to haue her golde and syluer. I say that he is a great foole that taketh anne olde wyfe for her goodes, and is much to blame.

They the whiche do so procureth all trybulations; for with her he shall neither haue ioy, recreacion, nor rest. He noryssheth stryfes and greate debates, thoughte, payne, anguyshe, and melancoly: and yf he wolde accomplysshe the workes of maryage, hee may not, for shee is so debylyte, colde, vnpropyce, vnnaturall, and vndyscurrente, for the coldenes that is in her. The husbande of this olde wyfe hath none esperaunce to haue lygnage by her, for he neuer loued her. The man is a verye foole to make his demoraunce vpon such an olde wife. Whan he thinketh somtime vpon such thynges, he leseth his naturall wit, in cursynge hymselfe more then a m. tymes with the golde and the syluer, and the cursed hasarde of Fortune. And when he seeth his poore lyfe in suche dystresse, his hert is all oppressed with melancoly and dolour: but whan the vnhappye man seeth that it is force, and that hee is constrayned[760] to haue pacience, he putteth his cure to draw to hym the money of the olde wyddred woman in makyng to her glade chere. And whan hee hath the money and the bagge with nobles, God knoweth what chere he maketh, wythoute thynkinge on them that gathered[761] it. And when he hath spente al, he is more vnhappyer then hee was before. Yf that the foole be vnhappye, it is well ryghte, for hee hath wedded auaryce, mother of all euylles: yf hee had taken a wyfe that had ben fayre and yonge, after his complection, he had not fallen into so great an inconuenience. It is wryten in auncient bokes, that hee whiche weddeth a wyfe by auaryce, and not for to haue lygnage, hath no cure of the honestie of matrymonye, and thynketh full euyll on his conscience. The vnyon of maryage is[762] decayed; for, vnder the coloure of good and loyall maryage, is wedded auaryce, as we se euery day by experience through the world. And one wil haue a wife, and that hee marke his to be demaunded in maryage, they will enquyre of his ryches and conninge. And on the other syde he wyl demaunde great goodes with her, to norysshe her with: for and her father and mother and frendes haue no greate ryches, he wyll not of her; but and she be ryche, hee demaundeth none other thynge. It is written, that one were better haue his house in deserte, whereas no mencion shoulde be of hym, thenne to bide with suche wyues, for they be replete with all cursednes. And the pore foole breketh his hearte; he loseth his soule, and corrompeth his body. He selleth his youth vnto the olde wife that weddeth her for auaryce, and hath but noyse and discention, in vsyng his lyfe thus in synne. Consydre, you fooles, what seruytude ye put your self in, when ye wedde such wyues. I pray you be chast, if that ye wyl lyue without vnhap. My frends, whiche be not in that bande, put you not therin, and yee shalbe well happy. Notwithstanding, I defende you not to mary, but I exhorte you to take a wyfe that ye may haue progeny by, and solace bodely and gostly, and thereby to wyn the ioyes of Paradyse.

OF ENUYE, THE SECONDE FOOLE.

Approche, you folyshe enuyous, the which can say no good by them that ye hate, come and se in this booke youre peruerse and euyll condycions. O Enuy, that deuoureth the condycions of men, and dyssypers of honour! Thou makest to haue rauisshynge heartes famyshed; thou brennest the desyres, and sleeth the soule in the ende; thou engendrest the darte enuyronned with mischefe, that whiche traueyleth diuers folkes. Cursed foole, howe haste thou thy heart so replete with cruelte? for, if I haue temporall goodes, thou wilte haue enuye therat; or, if that I can worke well, and that I apply mee vnto dyuers thynges the whiche be honest, or if that I haue castels, landes, and tenementes, or if that I am exalted vnto honoure by my science, or won it by my hardynes truely and iustlye, or if that I am beloued of dyuers persons whiche reclaymeth mee good and vertuous and of a noble courage, thou wylt vilepende me with thy wordes: thou wottest neuer in what maner thou mayst adnychell mine honour. Thy malicious hert is hurt with a mortall wounde, in such wise that thou haste no ioye nor solace in this world, for the darte of Enuye perceth thy herte lyke a spere. Thou hast wylde lycoure, the whiche maketh all thy stomacke to be on a flambe. There is no medicyne that maye hele thy mortall wounde. I, beynge in a place where as myne honoure was magnyfyed, thoughte for to haue taken alyaunce with an odyfferaunt floure, but all sodaynely I was smyten with a darte of Enuye behinde my backe, wherthroughe all tho that were on my partye turned theyr backes vpon me, for to agree to one of Venus dissolate seruauntes, procedynge frome a hearte enuenymed with enuye. Wherfore I shall specyfye vnto you the condycyons of the enuyous. Who that holdeth hym of the subgectes of Enuye, she constytueth to deuoure and byte euery bodye; gyuynge vnhappes and myseryes vnto her seruauntes. Suche folkes doth the innocente a thousande wronges. They be replenysshed with so many treasons, that they can not slepe in theyr beddes; they haue no swete cantycles nor songes. They haue theyr tonges honyed with swete words vnder the coloure of loue; they be lene, and infecte of rygoure these enuyous, more bytterer thenne the gall of the fyshe glauca, wyth theyr eyen beholdinge a trauers, of stomackes chaufed syntillously, and without their[763] mouthes, as the vyne that is newe cut, they be enuyroned with rage and greate anguysshe, beholdynge euermore to destroy some body. Conceyue the history of Joseph in your myndes, the which had vii. brethren, that were enuyous against him which was the yongeste, and solde hym vnto the marchauntes of Egypte by enuy, and betrayed him; the which were delybered of a longe time to haue destroyed him. These enuious neuer laughe but whan some good man hath domage vpon the see or lande; or at the disfortune of some body, he drynketh his bloud as milke. Notwithstandinge his heart is euer enbraced with enuy, and as longe as he lyueth it shall gnawe his hert. Hee resembleth vnto Ethna whiche brenneth alwayes. As of Romulus, and Remus his brother, the whiche Romulus edefyed first Rome, and gaue it to name Rome, after his owne name. Neuertheles they were pastours, for they establyshed lawes in the citie. And Romulus punished euerye body egally. He dyd instytute lymittes or markes aboute the citie, and ordeyned that he that passed the lymyttes shuld be put to death. His brother passed them, wherfore he was put vnto death incontinente in the same place. Wee rede also how Cayme slewe his owne brother by enuye. Haue we not ensample semblablye of Atreus, of whom his brother occupyed the parke, howe well that they were in the realme stronge and puyssaunte, for to defende them? It was Thesius[764] that expulsed his brother oute of the realme by enuy, and was called agayne bycause that he had taken the parke, and fynally was banyshed, and by enuye and vnder the colour of peace he was sent for. And when hee was commen vnto a feast, he made his two children for to be rested, and made theim[765] to drynke their bloude. O what horroure was it to see his twoo children dye that were so dyscrete! In lykewise Ethiocles by his brethren receyued great enormyties by that cursed Enuye. O thou prudent man, if thou wilt be discrete, good, and wise, flye from Enuy, and thou shalt finde thy selfe sounde of body and soule!

OF THE VOLUPTUOUSNES CORPORALL, THE THIRD FOOLE.

Ryghte heartely I beseche you, folysshe and lecherous people, that it will please you for to come and make a litell collacion in this booke; and if there be any thinge that I can do for you, I am all yours both body and goodes; for truelye I haue an ardaunte desyre to doo you some meditorious[766] dede, bicause that I haue euer frequented your seruyce.

Nowe herken what I haue found you, cautellous women. They that the pappes be sene all naked, their heyre combed and trussed in dyuers places merueylously, be vnreasonable fooles, for they dresse theim like voluptuous harlottes, that make their heyre to appere at theyr browes, yalowe as fine golde, made in lytel tresses for to drawe yonge folke to theyr loue. Some, for to haue their goodes, presenteth to theim their beddes for to take their carnall desires; and after that they haue taken all their disportes, they pill theim as an onion. The other, for to haue their plesures mondayne, cheseth theim that she loueth[767] best, and maketh sygnyfyaunce to theim, sayeng that she is anamoured on theim. Thou art a verye idyot so to abandone thy selfe vnto the vyle synne of lecherye, for thou lettest thy selfe be wrapped therein, lyke as a calfe or a shepe is bounde in a corde, in suche wise that ye can not vnbynde youre selfe. O foole, haue aspecte vnto that whiche thou commyttest! for thou puttest thy poore soule in great daunger of damnation eternall; thou puttest thy goodes, thyne vnderstandinge, and thy ioy, vnto dolorous perdicion: and for all that yee bee in your wor[l]dly pleasures, yet it is mengled with dystres or with mysery, greate thoughte or melancoly. I requyre thee, leue thy wor[l]dlye pleasures, that endureth no lenger then the grasse of the feelde. Yf you haue ioye one only momente, thou shalt haue twayne of sorow for it. Wee rede of Sardanapalus, that for his lecherye and lybidinosite fell into hell; the whiche put him selfe in the guise of a poore woman: his men, seinge hym so obstinate in that vile sinne, slewe him, and so fynished hee his dayes for folowinge of his pleasaunce mondayne. The soueraigne Creatour was more puyssante thenne this wretched sinner. Let vs not apply our selfe therto, sith that hee punysheth sinners so asprely; but with all our hertes enforce we our selfe for to resist againste that vyle and abhomynable sinne of lechery, the whiche is so full of enfeccion and bytternes, for it distayneth the soule of man. Fle frome the foolisshe women, that pylleth the louers vnto the harde bones, and you shal be beloued of God and also of the worlde.

[759] _The Boke of Three Fooles, &c._] From Marshe’s ed. of Skelton’s _Workes_, 1568.

[760] _constrayned_] Ed. “constrayneth.”

[761] _gathered_] Ed. “gathereth.”

[762] _is_] Ed. “in.”

[763] _their_] Ed. “these.”

[764] _Thesius_] See notes.

[765] _theim_] See notes.

[766] _meditorious_] Qy. “meritorious?”

[767] _she loueth_] Old copy, “we loue.”

_Honorificatissimo,[768] amplissimo, longeque reverendissimo in Christo patri, ac domino, domino Thomæ, &c. tituli sanctæ Ceciliæ, sacrosanctæ Romanæ ecclesiæ presbytero, Cardinali meritissimo, et apostolicæ sedis legato, a latereque legato superillustri, &c., Skeltonis laureatus, ora. reg., humillimum dicit obsequium cum omni debita reverentia, tanto tamque magnifico digna principe sacerdotum, totiusque justitiæ æquabilissimo moderatore, necnon præsentis opusculi fautore excellentissimo, &c., ad cujus auspicatissimam contemplationem, sub memorabili prelo gloriosæ immortalitatis, præsens pagella felicitatur, &c._

A REPLYCACION AGAYNST CERTAYNE YONG SCOLERS ABIURED OF LATE, &c.

_Argumentum._

_Crassantes nimium, nimium sterilesque labruscas,_ _Vinea quas Domini Sabaot non sustinet ultra_ _Laxius expandi, nostra est resecare voluntas._

_Cum privilegio a rege indulto._

Protestacion alway canonically prepensed, professed, and with good delyberacion made, that this lytell pamphilet, called the Replicacion of Skelton laureate, ora. reg., remordyng dyuers recrayed and moche vnresonable errours of certayne sophystycate scolers and rechelesse yonge heretykes lately abiured, &c. shall euermore be, with all obsequious redynesse, humbly submytted vnto the ryght discrete reformacyon of the reuerende prelates and moche noble doctours of our mother holy Churche, &c.

_Ad almam Universitatem Cantabrigensem, &c._

_Eulogium consolationis._

[Sidenote: Cantabrigia Skeltonidi laureato primam mammam eruditionis pientissime propinavit.]

_Alma parens O Cantabrigensis,_ _Cur lacrymaris? Esto, tui sint_ _Degeneres hi filioli, sed_ _Non ob inertes, O pia mater,_ _Insciolos vel decolor esto._ _Progenies non nobilis omnis,_ _Quam tua forsan mamma fovebat._ _Tu tamen esto Palladis almæ_ _Gloria pollens plena Minervæ,_ _Dum radiabunt astra polorum:_ _Jamque valeto, meque foveto,_ _Namque tibi quondam carus alumnus eram._

[Sidenote: Zebub musca inflativa sibilans ab austro, quæ intumescere facit hæresiarchas contra fidem orthodoxam, &c. h. il. Eruditionis exordium in tenera audacique juventa temperatæ moderationis frenum postulat. Alioquin scientia effrenata inflataque spuma elationis, quod dulce venenum est, subtiliter intoxicat interimitque incautum possessorem suum, &c. h. il. Non sit igitur tibi, Philologia, ratione intemperatæ loquacitatis suæ,[769] inordinatæ dicacitatis, incogitatæ procacitatis, in singultum et scrupulum cordis tui, &c. h. il. Eloquentiam sine sapientia prodesse nunquam, obesse plerumque, satis constat evidenter i. veterum rhetoris.]

Howe yong scolers nowe a dayes enbolned[770] with the flyblowen blast of the moche vayne glorious pipplyng wynde, whan they haue delectably lycked a lytell of the lycorous electuary of lusty lernyng, in the moche studious scolehous of scrupulous Philology, countyng them selfe clerkes exellently enformed and transcendingly sped in moche high connyng, and whan they haue ones superciliusly caught.

[Sidenote: Rhetoricari incomposite, logicari meticulose, philosophari perfunctorie, theologisari phrenetice, arguit in concionatore, nedum lucidum intervallum, sed continuam pertinacemque mentis alienationem, fæculentam, amurcatam, temulentam, &c. hæc il. Vos ergo elephantice evangelizantes, tanquam anseres strepentes intercanoros olores, relegamus ad tres grues bacchato Bromio initiatos, pro foribus Vinitoris, propter fluenta Thamisiæ. Ubi poti potati cum fasciculo inambusto ambustum futurum fasciculum pensitate, &c. hæc il.]

A lytell ragge of rethorike, A lesse lumpe of logyke, A pece or a patche of philosophy, Than forthwith by and by They tumble so in theology, Drowned in dregges of diuinite, That they iuge them selfe able to be Doctours of the chayre in the Uyntre At the Thre Cranes, To magnifye their names: 10 But madly it frames, For all that they preche and teche Is farther than their wytte wyll reche. Thus by demeryttes of their abusyon, Finally they fall to carefull confusyon, To beare a fagot, or to be enflamed: Thus are they vndone and vtterly shamed.

_Ergo_ _Licet non enclitice,_ _Tamen enthymematice,_ _Notandum imprimis,_ _Ut ne quid nimis._ _Tantum pro primo._

[Sidenote: Stoicam sectam Zenon primus instituit. Juvenes sanguinolenti, propter libidinem dominandi et gloriam famæ, frequenter fieri solent seditiosi. hæc Dias. Perihermenias, Latine interpretatio, &c. Porphyrius floruit Athenis tempore Gordiani imperatoris CC.XLIX. &c. Analytica, libri priorum et posteriorum Aris. Topica, i. liber totalis de totalibus locis, &c. Presumere, est non audenda facere, &c. De idolatria[771] lege Hieronymum ad Jovenianum, &c. Idolatria dictio composita ex idolo (quod est simulacrum) et latria (quod est cultura) apud nos, &c. De latria, hyperdulia, dulia, quid sanctitas apostolica cum Constantino magno Constantinopoli ordinavit in concilio Latrensi, manifeste reperies et infra.]