Chapter 18

A Cell in the Nunnery. MARIA discovered asleep on a straw pallet. She starts suddenly from her sleep with a little cry, half rises and remains seated on her pallet.

MARIA. Oh, that wild dream! My weary bones still ache With the fierce pain; they wrenched me limb from limb. Thou hadst full cause, my father. But thou, Juan, What was my sin to thee, save too much love? Oh, would to God my back were crooked with age, My smooth cheek seamed with wrinkles, my bright hair Hoary with years, and my quick blood impeded By sluggish torpor, so were I near the end Of woes that seem eternal! I am strong-- Death will not rescue me. Within my veins I feel the vigorous pulses of young life, Refusing my release. My heart at times Rebels against the habit of despair, And, ere I am aware, has wandered back, Among forbidden paths. What prayer, what penance, Will shrive me clean before the sight of heaven? My hands are black with parricide. Why else Should his dead face arise three nights before me, Bleached, ghastly, dripping as of one that's drowned, To freeze my heart with horror? Christ, have mercy! [She covers her face with her hands in an agony of despair.]

Enter a MONK.

THE MONK. May peace be in this place! [MARIA shudders violently at the sound of his voice; looks up and sees the MONK with bent head, and hands partially extended, as one who invokes a blessing. She rises, falls at his feet, and takes the hem of his skirt between her hands, pressing it to he lips.]

MARIA. Welcome, thrice welcome! Bid me not rise, nor bless me with pure hands. Ask not to see my face. Here let me lie, Kissing the dust--a cast-away, a trait'ress, A murderess, a parricide!

MONK. Accursed With all Hell's curses is the crime thou nam'st! What devil moved thee? Who and whence art thou, That wear'st the form of woman, though thou lack'st The heart of the she-wolf? Who was thy parent, What fiend of torture, that thine impious hands Should quench the living source of thine own life?

MARIA. Spare me! oh, spare me! Nay, my hands are clean. He was the first, best, noblest among men. I was his light, his soul, his breath of life. These I withdrew from him, and made his days A darkness. Yet, perchance he is not dead, And blood and tears may wash away my guilt. Oh, tell me there is hope, though it gleam far-- One solitary ray, one steadfast spark, Beyond a million years of purgatory! My burning soul thirsts for the dewy balm Of comfortable grace. One word, one word, Or ere I perish of despair!

MONK. What word? The one wherewith thou bad'st thy father hope? What though he be not dead? Is breathing life? Hast thou not murdered him in spirit? dealt The death-blow to his heart? Cheat not thy soul With empty dreams--thy God hath judged ye guilty!

MARIA. Have pity, father! Let me tell thee all. Thou, cloistered, holy and austere, know'st not My glittering temptations. My betrayer Was of an angel's aspect. His were all gifts, All grace, all seeming virtue. I was plunged, Deaf, dumb, and blind, and hand-bound in the deep. If a poor drowning creature craved thine aid, Thou wouldst not spurn it. Such a one am I, And all the waves roll over me. Wrest me from my doom! Say not that I am lost!

MONK. I can but say What the just Spirit prompts. Myself am naught To pardon or condemn. The sin is sinned; The fruit forbid is tasted, yea, and pressed Of its last honeyed juices. Wilt thou now Escape the after-bitterness with prayers, Scourgings, and wringings of the hands? Shall these Undo what has been done?--make whole the heart Thy crime hath snapt in twain?--restore the wits Thy sin hath scattered? No! Thy punishment Is huge as thine offence. Death shall not help, Neither shall pious life wash out the stain. Living thou'rt doomed, and dead, thou shalt be lost, Beyond salvation.

MARIA (springing to her feet). Impious priest, thou liest! God will have mercy--as my father would, Could he but see me in mine agony! [The MONK throws back his cowl and discovers himself as the SPAGNOLETTO. MARIA utters a piercing cry and throws herself speechless at his feet.]

RIBERA. Thou know'st me not. I am not what I was. My outward shape remains unchanged; these eyes, Now gloating on thine anguish, are the same That wept to see a shadow cross thy brow; These ears, that drink the music of thy groans, Shrank from thy lightest sigh of melancholy. Thou think'st to find the father in me still? Thy parricidal hands have murdered him-- Thou shalt not find a man. I am the spirit Of blind revenge--a brute, unswerving force. What deemest thou hath bound me unto life? Ambition, pleasure, or the sense of fear? What, but the sure hope of this fierce, glad hour, That I might track thee down to this--might see Thy tortured body writhe beneath my feet, And blast thy stricken spirit with my curse?

MARIA (in a crushed voice). Have mercy! mercy!

RIBERA. Yes, I will have mercy-- The mercy of the tiger or the wolf, Athirst for blood.

MARIA (terror-struck, rises upon her knees in an attitude of supplication. RIBERA averts his face). Oh, father, kill me not! Turn not away--I am not changed for thee! In God's name, look at me--thy child, thine own! Spare me, oh, spare me, till I win of Heaven Some sign of promise! I am lost forever If I die now.

RIBERA (looks at her in silence, then pushing her from him laughs bitterly). Nay, have no fear of me. I would not do thee that much grace to ease thee Of the gross burden of the flesh. Behold, Thou shalt be cursed with weary length of days; And when thou seek'st to purge thy guilty heart, Thou shalt find there a sin no prayer may shrive-- The murder of thy father. To all dreams That haunt thee of past anguish, shall be added The vision of this horror! [He draws from his girdle a dagger and stabs himself to the heart; he falls and dies, and MARIA flings herself, swooning upon his body.]