Chapter 2

The _Beasts_ and the _Birds_ were so fresh and so fair, That they call'd forth the wonder of all who came there, And the _Boa Constrictors_ so slimy and gay, That they seem'd to have painted themselves for the day. The _Green-bonnet Monkey_, with speckles bespread, Was proud of the verdigris tuft on his head; For it look'd, as he leap'd in his frolic and joy, Like the top of the turban of _Rammohun Roy_. Dame _Tortoise_ roam'd over the green and beyond, For she pass'd on her pilgrimage right to the pond. As she gazed on the _Crocodile_ softly she sigh'd, Though she thought that his mouth was a _little_ too wide. The _Zebra_ look'd sprightly, as every one saw, And the _African Sheep_ and white-footed _Nyl Ghau_; And that leaper of leapers, the strange _Kangaroo_, That is biped and triped and quadruped too, Who out-juggles the _Juggler_, by hill and by dale; For he makes, when he pleases, a leg of his tail. With a soft, silky, aspect, demure and profound, A _tabby Cat_ wander'd the _Gardens_ around, And purr'd her applause with a quiet delight, As she gazed half-entranced on the heart-cheering sight. Among the rare wonders that caught every eye, Demanding a glance from the gay passer-by, Was the _Alpaca_, _Zebu_ of Indian race, And the _Camel_, brought up in that beautiful place. A dome in the centre, deservedly praised, Transparent as crystal, was artfully raised, Where African _Lions_, and _Tigers_ untamed, And _Sloths_ and _Hyænas_, for savageness famed, And _Leopards_ and _Ladies_, and _Monsters_ and _Men_, Securely might meet in the very same pen.

The crowd still increased on that magical ground, And thousands and thousands came trooping around. The _haut ton_ and _beau monde_ paced about debonair, Tall and short, _enbonpoint_, slender, sunburnt, and fair, While Hatred and Anger and Care fled away, And light hearts and bright eyes were the charm of the day. Then the painted _balloon_ in its glory was bright, And it mounted on high till it sail'd out of sight. The _Juggler_, with tricks and illusions came forth, And the _Russians_ with _musical horns_ from the North, Transporting enough to make _Orpheus_ mute: As loud as the trumpet, as soft as the lute, They fill'd every bosom, absorbing them quite, And the _reeds_ seem'd to burden the air with delight. Such strains have rung round me in seasons gone by, When escaped from the cloister I mused with a sigh, And listed awhile to the balm-shedding breeze, As it fitfully swept through the sedge and the trees, And plaintively whisper'd with musical power, O'er the "soft-flowing Avon," at evening hour.

And now the fair parties, with Mirth for their guide, And light-hearted Laughter, a moment divide, And gaze on the _Eagles_, the _old ruin'd wall_, The _Boat-house_, the _Temple_, the _Hermitage_, all; Reproved, when their pleasure too freely they quaff, By that _memento mori_, the Afric _Giraffe_.[1]

Some visit the laughing-bird, called _Cockatoo_, Who drops them a courtesy, and cries "How d' ye do?" Or Mungo, the _negro_, who quaintly and sly Takes his tea, Cayenne pepper, and cold apple-pie. Some gaze on the _Cygnets_ that glide like a dream, And bend down to admire their fair forms in the stream; Some laugh at their fancies, or muse on a flower, And all are delighted, so happy the hour. Wouldst thou gaze with emotions far purer than mirth On one of the fairest creations of earth, Go at even, and breathe the pure breath of the breeze, From the _seat_ by the _Lake_, 'neath those wild _Willow-trees_.

New pleasures succeeded; the spell was of power That Variety threw o'er the varying hour, And a change of enjoyment was found by the train In losing and finding each other again. The _dancing_ commenced, and the Fair, beyond praise, As light as the gossamer, tripp'd through the maze. What warm salutations! what laughing aloud! What sounds of enjoyment were heard in the crowd! But who were the worthies who moved with a grace And demeanour, as though they belong'd to the place? Prince Eglantine _Eagle_, with lightning-like glare, Threw a glance all around him to see who was there; To the _Pelican_ Princesses bent his head low, As they proudly pass'd by with their bosoms of snow. Duke _Emu_, too, gazed on the heart-cheering sight, And Earl Hildebrand _Harpy_, so famous in fight; While the figure that walk'd so erect, I suppose, Was Sir Peregrine _Penguin_,--I judge by his nose. Viscount _Stork_, as he strutted about, gave a beck To Earl _Vulture_, who wears no cravat round his neck; And the _Bishop_ was there, though he stood rather back, Array'd in his robes of red, orange, and black, Sir Archibald _Ostrich_ moved on rather chary, And lean'd on his cousin the Count _Cassowary_, Discoursing of _Java_, and far distant lands, And African _Deserts_, and hot burning sands. Old warrior _Flamingo_ came limping along, And with Commodore _Cormorant_ join'd in the throng, Profoundly debating, with Major _Macaw_, The merits of martial and maritime law. Earl _Heron_ walk'd stately with Caroline _Crane_, And Field-marshal _Falcon_, of valour so vain; While Captain _Crown Pigeon_, so odd in his tread, Shook the quaking-grass tuft on his fanciful head. Lord _Peacock_, from _Asia_, came dress'd very fine-- His musical taste ne'er accorded with mine; And the learn'd Baron _Buzzard_, who gravely decided, That game, when once caught, should be fairly divided. The grenadier, Captain _Curassow_, was drest In his helmet, and held up his head with the best; While Fatima _Pheasant_, from China, display'd Her Pekin pelisse of bright silver brocade. Count _Turkey_ expanded the finery that bound him, And gabbled high Dutch to the people around him. His Honour the _Hawk_ loved a lark and a race, So he hover'd about near the courts of the place. Colonel _Kite_ spoke of sporting--of young _Ducks_ and _Widgeons_, And plann'd a new pent-house for _Ring-doves_ and _Pigeons_. At the edge of the water, and hard by the sluice, _Tête-à-tête_ Doctor _Drake_ sat with old Gammer _Goose_. And Sir Christopher _Crow_ wore a coat on his back, Of a true Day and Martin-like polish of black. Mother _Magpie_ and Priscilla _Parrot_, in spite, Could talk without ceasing from morning to night; Spread abroad _Entre nous_ and _On dits_ by the score, All the news they had heard, and a hundred times more.

A multitude muster'd, escaped from the plains, Of sight-loving lasses and holiday swains: Bob _Bantam_ push'd forward and strutted before; Will _Woodpecker_ modestly tapp'd at the door; Poor _Robin_, the rustic, a countrified clown, As he blush'd, look'd too simple by half for the town, There were scores in brown mantles, black, yellow, or green, From the villages round, and among them were seen, Luke _Linnet_, Sam _Swallow_, Mat _Martin_, and then, Bill _Bullfinch_, Tom _Titmouse_, and Rosanna _Wren_. But however select the fair party may be, Where beauty and fashion preside, we shall see Some characters doubtful that all should beware, And it can't be denied that a few such were there. Those cut-throats the _Sparrows_, that robber the _Daw_, Who was pluck'd for his open contempt of the law; The pilferer _Cuckoo_, whom all must despise, And the chattering _Jay_, who tells nothing but lies; While the green-mantled, light-hearted _Love-birds_, 'tis said, Had been sipping too much, for their noses were red.

How often it is, when the sun is most bright, That a dark cloud approaches, obscuring his light! Alas! 'tis the same with all earthly affairs, And pleasure gives place to a dark crowd of cares. The _Trees_ were all lively, the _Beasts_ were content, And the beautiful _Birds_ on their pleasure were bent, Nothing doubting the multitude, struck with amaze, Came to gaze on their beauty and speak in their praise When they saw that the crowd by degrees had retired, And that they left alone were no longer admired; They gazed on the _Booths_ that were aptly design'd To display the fair merchandize art had combined; They look'd on the spot in wrath, spleen, and despair, _Rank_, _Beauty_, _Taste_, _Fashion_, and _Fancy_ were there, And the multitudes round such attractions preferr'd To a gambolling _beast_ or a chattering _bird_. Now Envy first enter'd the fair feather'd race, And invective and dissonance rung round the place; Their pleasure, their pride, and contentment were o'er, And Discord presided where Peace was before.

In the midst of the hubbub and riot around, The _Trees_ were absorb'd in a silence profound, Till the busy _Dwarf Medlar_ began to explain His rooted dislike to the booth-loving train. He branch'd out in florid descriptions to show That they all ought to stand on their stumps in a row In defence of their rights, now that _underlings_ drew That applause and renown which had long been their due. Then the _Oak_ raised his head, rather hoary with age, And shook his broad arms in the air in a rage, And exhorted them all with a feeling of pride, To maintain their ground firmly, whate'er might betide. The _Giant Elm_ follow'd and proudly look'd down On the pitiful plots of their foes with a frown. The _Ash_, pale with anger, derided "the crew," And the smooth-temper'd _Purple Beech_ look'd rather blue. The _Chesnut_ grew heated, and roasted them well; And bitter the taunts of the _Almond-tree_ fell. The _Apple_ and _Pear_ both maintain'd, in their spleen, That the fruit of their folly would shortly be seen. The _Laburnum_, the _Lime_, and the _Beech_ seem'd afraid, But the _Hawthorn_ was pointed in all that she said, And the threats of the _Elder_ were heard to abound-- Like pellets from popguns they rattled around. Discontented and moody the _Drooping Larch_ lower'd, The _Crab_ knit his brows, for his temper was sour'd; While the _Birch_-tree declared that the ill-fated elves, Their opponents, were making a rod for themselves. With wrath and vexation the _Maple_ ran o'er; The _Aspen_-tree trembled, the _Willow_ wept sore; The _Tulip_-tree blush'd, and the _Sumach_-tree sigh'd, And the _Dyer's Oak_ thought it a stain on their pride. The _Fir_ stood erect, for he seem'd to opine That their sun for a very brief season would shine; While the well-meaning _Walnut_, foreboding their fall, Crack'd a joke, for he cared not a fig for them all. The _Poplar_ drew up with a feeling of scorn, And the _Cypress_ looked sad, and the _Yew_ was forlorn. The _Plane_ smoothly spoke, and the _Hazel_ the same, But the _Scarlet Oak_ redden'd with anger and shame. At last they resolved, to blot out the disgrace, To stand fast by each other adorning the place; No longer their loss of applause to bemoan, But to come out next spring with a Fair of their own.

While the war-whoop was raised by the _Birds_ and the _Trees_, The _Beasts_ were impatient to blow up a breeze. The _Lion_ began with a royal bewail, And furiously lash'd both his sides with his tail. As he stalk'd through his den, his wild eyes glared around, And his roar seem'd to come from far under the ground. His anger, disdain, and despair wanted scope, So he wish'd himself back at the Cape of Good Hope. The _Tiger_ extended, in uttering a roar, A mouth that you might have mistook for the door; But in such a dilemma, I warn you, beware How you enter in haste such a dark thoroughfare; For all who have pass'd through the passage they say, Have terribly painted their coats by the way. Poor _Bruin_ declared it was unbearable quite, And was in a brown study till day turn'd to night; The _Axis_ turn'd round in his rage, and just then The _Sloth_ look'd as black as the ink in my pen. The soft, silky, self-colour'd _Puma_ felt pain, Pale as ashes with anger he could not restrain; The _Llama_ indignantly felt the disgrace, And spirted saliva in every one's face; In fury the _Mastiff_ bark'd loud for relief; The poor patient _Camel_ was laden with grief; The _Antelope_ wisely eloped from the fray, But the _Springbok_ was booked for the rest of the day. The wrath of the _Leopard_ then rose on the gale, And broke out in dark spots from his head to his tail; The _Civet Cat_ mew'd, and did nothing but fret, And the stripes of the _Zebra_ were blacker than jet; The _Opossum_ was posed, and looked wondrously sage, And the _Red Coati Mondi_ turned sallow with rage; The _Hyæna_ declared in a quarrelsome mood, He would instantly break through his den--if he could: And the _Moose Deer_ in ire would have bit his lip through, But he found it already divided in two. The Schoolmaster _Porcupine_ rang, too, the chimes,-- He declar'd that he'd send an address to "_the Times_;" Nay, write all his quills to their stumps, ere he'd stand As a laughing-stock thus to the rest of the land.

When the _Fair_ was concluded, and all the gay throng Had abandon'd the feast and the dance and the song, In quest of a calmer enjoyment to roam, For "Home," after every enjoyment, "is Home!" The _Trees_ toss'd their heads 'tween the earth and the heavens, And the _Birds_ and the _Beasts_ were at sixes and sevens.

But amid the confusion, the hubbub, and din, All remember'd the proverb, "_They laugh most who win!_" This was certainly true at the famed _Fancy Fair_; _Mr. Cross_[2] was, they say, the most pleasant man there. Let us hope, then, his genius was happily led To allay the rude storm that hung over his head;-- That the future his spirited plans will repay Through many a gladsome and prosperous day; Make true the old saw, "_All is well that well ends_," And _Bipeds_ and _Quadrupeds_ once more be friends.

[1] The skeleton of the Giraffe was exhibited in the Gardens on this occasion.

[2] The late spirited proprietor of the Surrey Zoological Gardens.

THE END.

+--------------------------------------------------------------+ | Transcriber's Note: | | | | The original book has no publication date, but does bear a | | handwritten inscription on the title page-- | | Walter Francis Clinton | | June 2d 1848 from Aunt Lou | +--------------------------------------------------------------+