Chapter 15

_Justice’s Study_—_the Justice is writing_.

_Old M._ Well!—I shall have but few days’ more misery in this world!

_Just._ (_looks up_). Why! why—why then, why will you be so positive to persist in a lie? Take the money and leave the box! Obstinate blockhead! Here, William (_showing the committal_), take this old gentleman to Holdfast, the constable, and give him this warrant.

_Enter_ LUCY, _running_, _out of breath_.

_Lucy_. I’ve found it! I’ve found it! Here, old man; here’s your money—here it is all—a guinea and a half, and a shilling and a sixpence, just as he said, papa.

_Enter_ LANDLADY.

_Land._ Oh la! your worship, did you ever hear the like?

_Just._ I’ve heard nothing yet that I can understand. First, have you secured the thief, I say?

_Lucy_ (_makes signs to the landlady to be silent_). Yes, yes, yes!—we have him safe—we have him prisoner. Shall he come in, papa?

_Just._ Yes, child, by all means; and now I shall hear what possessed him to leave the box. I don’t understand—there’s something deep in all this; I don’t understand it. Now I do desire, Mrs. Landlady, nobody may speak a single word whilst I am cross-examining the thief.

(_Landlady puts her finger upon her lips_—_Everybody looks eagerly towards the door_.)

_Re-enter_ LUCY, _with a huge wicker cage in her hand_, _containing a magpie_—_The Justice drops the committal out of his hand_.

_Just._ Hey!—what, Mrs. Landlady—the old magpie? hey?

_Land._ Ay, your worship, my old magpie. Who’d have thought it? Miss was very clever; it was she caught the thief. Miss was very clever.

_Old M._ Very good! very good!

_Just._ Ay, darling, her father’s own child! How was it, child? Caught the thief, _with the mainour_, hey? Tell us all; I will hear all—that’s poz!

_Lucy_. Oh! then first I must tell you how I came to suspect Mr. Magpie. Do you remember, papa, that day last summer, when I went with you to the bowling-green, at the “Saracen’s Head”?

_Land._ Oh, of all days in the year! but I ask pardon, miss.

_Lucy_. Well, that day I heard my uncle and another gentleman telling stories of magpies hiding money; and they laid a wager about this old magpie and they tried him—they put a shilling upon the table, and he ran away with it, and hid it; so I thought that he might do so again, you know, this time.

_Just._ Right, right. It’s a pity, child, you are not upon the Bench; ha! ha! ha!

_Lucy_. And when I went to his old hiding place, there it was; but you see, papa, he did not take the box.

_Just._ No, no, no! because the thief was a magpie. No _man_ would have taken the money and left the box. You see I was right; no _man_ would have left the box, hey?

_Lucy_. Certainly not, I suppose; but I’m so very glad, old man, that you have obtained your money.

_Just._ Well then, child, here—take my purse, and add that to it. We were a little too hasty with the committal—hey?

_Land._ Ay, and I fear I was, too; but when one is touched about the credit of one’s house, one’s apt to speak warmly.

_Old M._ Oh, I’m the happiest old man alive! You are all convinced that I told you no lies. Say no more—say no more. I am the happiest man! Miss, you have made me the happiest man alive! Bless you for it!

_Land._ Well now, I’ll tell you what. I know what I think—you must keep that there magpie, and make a show of him, and I warrant he’ll bring you many an honest penny; for it’s a _true story_, and folks would like to hear it, I hopes—

_Just._ (_eagerly_). And, friend, do you hear? you’ll dine here to-day, you’ll dine here. We have some excellent ale. I will have you drink my health—that’s poz!—hey? You’ll drink my health, won’t you—hey?

_Old M._ (_bows_). Oh! and the young lady’s, if you please.

_Just._ Ay, ay, drink her health—she deserves it. Ay, drink my darling’s health.

_Land._ And please your worship, it’s the right time, I believe, to speak of the goose-pie now; and a charming pie it is, and it’s on the table.

_Will._ And Mr. Smack, the curate, and Squire Solid, and the doctor, sir, are come, and dinner is upon the table.

_Just._ Then let us say no more; but do justice immediately to the goose-pie; and, darling, put me in mind to tell this story after dinner.

(_After they go out_, _the Justice stops_.)

“Tell this story”—I don’t know whether it tells well for me; but I’ll never be positive any more—_that’s poz_!

THE MIMIC.