The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 3

Reporting our Uncle Abe's latest little Tale. Our Correspondent's Historical Chaunt. The Boston Novel of "Mr. Smith". And a Funeral Discourse by the devout Chaplain of the Macke...

Noting the utter Destruction, by an inebriated Journalist, of the Venerable Gammon's benignant Speech. Introducing the new General of the Mackerel Brigade. And describing a curi...

Proving that Russia is indeed our Friend. Instancing the terrific Bombardment of Paris. And telling how the new General of the Mackerel Brigade delighted all with his surprising...

Holding the Government strictly accountable for the Occurrence of a recent "Military Necessity". Recounting the affecting Episode of the Mackerel Drummer-Boy. And depicting the...

Touching upon a late Ovation to a Parent of his Country. Giving the Conservative Kentucky Map of all America. And introducing a second new General of the Mackerel Organization. 66

In which our Correspondent has a deadly Affair of Honor with a Gentleman from Kentucky. Experiences "Contraband" Hospitality and Melody. Attends a great Meeting in Accomac. And...

Concerning Intellectual Giants and Pins. With a few Words as to certain Dramatic Street-Scenes supposed to be of daily Occurrence. An affecting Western Poem. And a brief Glimpse...

Showing how the great City of Rome has been ruined by the War. Citing a notable Instance of Contempt of Court. Describing Rear Admiral Head's wonderful Improvement in Swivel Gun...

Giving a deep Insight of Woman's Nature. Presenting a powerful Poem of the Heart by one of the Intellectual Females of America. And reporting the signal Discomfiture of Mr. P. G...

Containing the Venerable Gammon's Report of the Manner in which the War has conducted itself up to this Time. And the most Surprising Epitaph of a Victim of Strategy. 119

Being another and final Christmas Report. Including a Small Story from our Uncle Abe. A Circular from the Secretary of State. A Supernatural Carol from Sergeant O'Pake. And a tr...

Explaining, in a lucid and perfectly satisfactory Manner, the powerful Inactivity of that portion of the venerated Mackerel Brigade residing before the ancient City of Paris, an...

Being our Correspondent's last Effort prior to the Commencement of a new Mackerel Campaign. Introducing a metrical Picture of the most remarkable Single Combat on Record. And sh...

Narrating the utterly unparalleled Conquest of Paris by the venerable Mackerel Brigade, after Three Days' inconceivable Strategy. In Fact, a Battle-Report after the Manner of al...

Which endeth the Third Volume of this inexpressibly veracious History of the War. And showeth how a Great Republic finally overcame its surpassingly Mendacious Foes, and how it...

The more I see of our Honest Abe, my boy,--the more closely I analyze the occasional acts by which he individualizes himself as a unit distinct from the decimals of his cabinet,...

As I make it a practice to pay all my honest debts, my boy, and have never flagellated a person of African descent, I could not properly come under the head of "Chivalry" in an...

NOTING THE UTTER DESTRUCTION, BY AN INEBRIATED JOURNALIST, OF THE VENERABLE GAMMON'S BENIGNANT SPEECH; INTRODUCING THE NEW GENERAL OF THE MACKEREL BRIGADE; AND DESCRIBING A CURI...

The city of Washington, my boy, without her Congress, is like a maiden without her plighted young man. She surveys herself in the mirror of the Potomac, and says she: "Where's m...

The sagacious Russian bear, my boy, is found to regard the Eagle of our distracted country with more than his ordinary liking for fancy poultry, and our shattered bird may feel...

HOLDING THE GOVERNMENT STRICTLY ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE OCCURRENCE OF A RECENT "MILITARY NECESSITY;" RECOUNTING THE AFFECTING EPISODE OF THE MACKEREL DRUMMER-BOY; AND DEPICTING THE...

I have been very ill, my boy--I have been very ill; and even now, the hand which grasps the pen trembles with weakness, like the hand of the wind upon a slender rush. I have bee...

IN WHICH OUR CORRESPONDENT HAS A DEADLY AFFAIR OF HONOR WITH A GENTLEMAN FROM KENTUCKY; EXPERIENCES "CONTRABAND" HOSPITALITY AND MELODY; ATTENDS A GREAT MEETING IN ACCOMAC; AND...

CONCERNING INTELLECTUAL GIANTS AND PINS; WITH A FEW WORDS AS TO CERTAIN DRAMATIC STREET-SCENES SUPPOSED TO BE OF DAILY OCCURRENCE; AN AFFECTING WESTERN POEM; AND A BRIEF GLIMPSE...

SHOWING HOW THE GREAT CITY OF ROME HAS BEEN RUINED BY THE WAR; CITING A NOTABLE INSTANCE OF CONTEMPT OF COURT; DESCRIBING REAR ADMIRAL HEAD'S WONDERFUL IMPROVEMENT IN SWIVEL GUN...

GIVING A DEEP INSIGHT OF WOMAN'S NATURE; PRESENTING A POWERFUL POEM OF THE HEART BY ONE OF THE INTELLECTUAL FEMALES OF AMERICA; AND REPORTING THE SIGNAL DISCOMFITURE OF MR. P. G...

Depressed, my boy, by that low-spirited sense of reverence for shirt-collared Old Age, which is a part of my credulous nature, I proceed to record that the Venerable Gammon has...

Stand aside, my boy, and realize your own civilian insignificance, while I invoke all the gods of Old Olympus to aid me with their inspiration, in the tale of naval grandeur it...

As it was feared on Sunday last, my boy, that the venerable Mackerel Brigade was about to commit a breach of the peace by strategically assaulting the Confederacies established...

When great interests are at stake, my boy, and strong passions are excited, and when it becomes necessary that a whole nation shall be unanimous for its own preservation from de...

The beautiful Spring, my boy, is out in the sunshine once more,--bowing her pretty face over her lap, as though to breathe the odor of the fresh violets lying scattered upon her...

Social life at our National Capital, my boy, as far as the native element is concerned, has not been refined by the war; and even at the White House it is scarcely possible to c...

As I wax numerous in exciting years, my boy, and observe more and more of the long-headed and strategic manner in which our wealthy but distracted country prosecutes the Restora...

It is a high-moral idea of poets, congressmen, and the writers for our improving weekly journals of exciting romance, my boy, that it is a noble and majestic thing to feel warml...

Another Christmas finds our great stragetic country in the toils of war, my boy, and the chiming of the bells is lost in the roar of ingenious artillery. Where blazes the yule l...

This gray-headed pen of mine, my boy,--which is mightier than the sword, inasmuch as it can, itself, "draw" the sword when it chooses, quite as accurately as any pencil-vanian,-...

Thanksgiving Day, my boy, is an able-bodied national festival which has dwelt unctuously in all my less spiritual annual reminiscences, since that poetical and beautiful time of...

It is a sublime thing, my boy,--a high moral and exciting thing,--to note a wealthy nation's outburst of gratitude to Providence and our national military organization, for a su...

BEING ANOTHER AND FINAL CHRISTMAS REPORT; INCLUDING A SMALL STORY FROM OUR UNCLE ABE; A CIRCULAR FROM THE SECRETARY OF STATE; A SUPERNATURAL CAROL FROM SERGEANT O'PAKE; AND A TR...

EXPLAINING, IN A LUCID AND PERFECTLY SATISFACTORY MANNER, THE POWERFUL INACTIVITY OF THAT PORTION OF THE VENERATED MACKEREL BRIGADE RESIDING BEFORE THE ANCIENT CITY OF PARIS, AN...

BEING OUR CORRESPONDENT'S LAST EFFORT PRIOR TO THE COMMENCEMENT OF A NEW MACKEREL CAMPAIGN; INTRODUCING A METRICAL PICTURE OF THE MOST REMARKABLE SINGLE COMBAT ON RECORD; AND SH...

The venerable Aaron, my boy, was the first gold speculator mentioned in history, and it exhausted all the statesmanship of Moses to break up the unseemly speculation, and bring...

It is a beautiful trait of our common American nature, my boy, that we should be stood-upon by fleshy Old Age, and find ourselves reduced to the mental condition of mangled infa...

NARRATING THE UTTERLY UNPARALLELED CONQUEST OF PARIS BY THE VENERABLE MACKEREL BRIGADE, AFTER THREE DAYS' INCONCEIVABLE STRATEGY; IN FACT, A BATTLE-REPORT AFTER THE MANNER OF AL...

WHICH ENDETH THE THIRD VOLUME OF THIS INEXPRESSIBLY VERACIOUS HISTORY OF THE WAR; AND SHOWETH HOW A GREAT REPUBLIC FINALLY OVERCAME ITS SURPASSINGLY MENDACIOUS FOES, AND HOW IT...