Chapter 6

"There ain't no hamper in the trap, sir. I didn't have it up in front, so I thought you had it in with you. Do you think it's fallen out, sir?"

"By Jove, sir!" cried Lionel suddenly, "it's my fault. You told me to see that the man put the hampers on in front, and I clean forgot all about it."

If it hadn't been such a serious matter it would have been highly amusing to watch the blank dismay depicted on every face on hearing this disastrous news.

"What on earth are we to do?" exclaimed Dick, with almost tragic concern.

"There's only one thing to be done, I suppose," said I resignedly, after sending the man away; "we shall have to return to the village and have our luncheon at the inn."

"It won't be a picnic at all then," pouted Lady Betty ruefully.

Shin Shira was the only one who did not seem distressed about the matter. He had seated himself cross-legged on the ground under one of the old Beeches, and was slowly turning over the leaves of the little yellow book fastened to his belt with a golden chain, which he always wore.

"I think I can be of some assistance to you here," said he, getting up after a time and coming towards me. "Has anybody some paper and a pencil?"

This seemed a strange request at such a moment, but between us we managed to find what he asked for.

The Dwarf suddenly tore the paper into seven parts, handing us each one and keeping one for himself.

"Now," said he, "each of you write on the piece of paper the name of something you would wish for luncheon."

He handed me the pencil first, and just for fun I wrote "Lobster salad."

Marjorie wrote "Game pie."

Dick thought that "Pies and tarts and plenty of them" was a suitable thing to ask for.

Lionel could imagine nothing more to be desired than "Ham and tongue sandwiches."

Lady Betty wanted "Fruit and nuts," and Fidge, after various painful attempts, wrote "Something nice to drink."

Shin Shira read them out one by one.

"Yes," he said, "they're all very well, but how are you going to eat them when you have got them? Now you see what I wish for," and he carefully wrote on his slip of paper, "Tablecloth, serviettes, plates, dishes, knives, forks, spoons, salt, pepper, mustard, oil, vinegar, glasses and a corkscrew." "There!" he exclaimed, "I think that will put us right. Now watch carefully. You see there is no deception!" and he laughingly rolled up his sleeves like a professional conjurer.

He placed the paper upon which he had written his list into his turban, shaking it violently.

To our surprise, in a few seconds it sounded as though there was something in it, and an instant later he drew forth from it a neatly folded snow-white tablecloth, the serviettes, spoons, forks, and in fact all the articles which he had named.

He set the children to work laying the cloth, while he placed the other lists in his turban, and in turn, beginning with a deliciously fresh-looking lobster salad, and a large game pie, he brought forth every one of the good things which had been wished for.

Fidge's "something nice to drink" turned out to be bottles of lemonade, milk, soda water, and a bottle of wine for the grown-ups.

A more delicious feast it would be impossible to imagine.

We were just sitting down to enjoy it, and I had stuck the knife and fork into the game pie, when Marjorie sprang up with a little scream, brushing something from her face.

"Ough! a horrid caterpillar!" she cried.

"And here's another!" declared Fidge, knocking one from his coat.

"And an earwig!" exclaimed Dick, picking one up from the cloth.

"Oh! and spiders!" screamed Lady Betty, jumping up and shaking her frock.

"Dear! dear! this will never do!" I said, for the place was swarming with insects, owing to the very dry summer which we had had.

"There ought to be a marquee like we had at the choir treat," said Fidge.

"Oh, I vote we get on with the grub," said Dick greedily. "The insects won't kill us."

"No, but a marquee would certainly be more comfortable," said Shin Shira. "Come into the meadow just over there, and I'll see if I can provide one."

Leaving Lionel to guard our feast, the rest of us all trailed after him, over the fence into the meadow, which was carpeted with soft long grass.

"The only thing is, I can't exactly remember what a marquee is like," he said. "Think, my dear boy, what the one was like which you had in your mind."

"Why, it had four poles, one at each corner," said Fidge, "and some iron things connecting them at the top, and it was covered all over and round the sides with some stripey stuff. Then there were ropes and things, and pegs driven into the ground to tie the poles to, and a trestle table and two long forms each side. That's all. Oh, yes, and Piggott & Son, Tentmakers, was written in big letters on the stripey stuff."

"Ah!" said Shin Shira, "I think I shall be able to imagine it sufficiently well now. I'll try," and after consulting his little yellow book again for instructions, he called for a stick, which the boys soon cut from the hedge, and marked out a large square space in the meadow; and then, using some magic words, he waved the stick three times, and there stood the very marquee which Fidge had described, even to the words Piggott & Son, Tentmakers, on the canvas covering.

"Now go and bring the luncheon, children, and we'll try again," said Shin Shira, in a rare good humour with himself (the little fellow was evidently delighted to find that his fairy powers were acting so well to-day); and soon we were seated around the table, which, I must confess, I found a more comfortable way of enjoying my luncheon.

To say that we did full justice to the good things provided, is but mildly describing the way the food disappeared.

The two elder boys in particular seemed as though they would never leave off, but at last we settled down comfortably to the fruit and nuts, and were just discussing what we should do with the marquee and its contents, when we suddenly all started to our feet in alarm.

A loud bellowing, combined with a dull sound of galloping hoofs, told us that something was coming our way.

I rushed to the door and looked out.

"Good heavens! A mad bull!" I cried, "tearing this way at a furious pace."

Shin Shira sprang to the opening.

"I'll attract him in another direction, and while he is after me you all escape over the fence," he cried hurriedly, and snatching a red silk handkerchief from Lionel's pocket, he rushed out into the open.

The bull paused, and though I frantically shouted to Shin Shira to come back, the brave little fellow flourished the red handkerchief to attract the creature's attention. With a bellow of anger the infuriated animal, holding his head down, tore after the Dwarf, who ran with surprising swiftness in the opposite direction to the marquee.

"Now children, quickly!" I cried, catching Lady Betty by the hand, and we all made for the fence as quickly as possible.

We were no sooner in safety than we turned to see how our gallant little friend was faring.

The yellow figure, still waving the red handkerchief, was running ahead of the bull, but to our great distress we could see that the beast was gaining on him.

"Oh dear! he'll never reach the other side in time," cried Marjorie, hiding her eyes in her hands and sinking to the ground in a panic of fear and fright.

Presently the boys gave an excited shout--"Hurrah! Bravo!" they cried, jumping from the fence and skipping about, tossing their caps into the air in an excess of relief. I sat down beside Marjorie and explained to her what had happened.

The bull was rapidly gaining on Shin Shira and the little fellow was becoming exhausted, when, by a happy chance, at that very moment he began to disappear, and before the bull could reach him he had vanished altogether.

The bull was rushing frantically about, bellowing and snorting and looking in vain for him, and at last, turning his attention to the marquee, he dashed into it, ripping up the canvas and over-turning the table, smashing the dishes, and altogether making a most terrific commotion.

Now that we were all safe we could make light of the loss of the marquee and its contents, and could even smile at the quaint remark of Lady Betty when she said solemnly--

"In future I shall prefer to picnic where there are spiders, instead of where mad bulls are about. In fact, I shall rather like spiders after this: they're so gentle and don't bellow at all."

The boys were still watching the havoc which the bull was creating, when they noticed a man walking towards us beside the fence.

He was a big, burly farmer and looked very angry.

"Now then," he cried, in a surly voice, "what do you mean by all this?"

"I don't understand you," I answered.

"I speak plain English, don't I?" he said. "Wasn't it you that's been trampling in my long grass, and building tents and what not on private property? I'll learn you that I won't have no strangers in my meadows, I can tell ye."

"I'm very sorry if I've done any harm," said I, "and I'm sure if--"

"_If_ you've done any harm!" shouted the farmer. "Look at all that long grass trampled down all over the meadow."

"Yes," I interrupted, "but it was your bull which did that."

"He wouldn't have done it if you hadn't teased him," said the farmer obstinately. "I saw one of you myself teasing him with a red rag and making him furious. I'm not going to have any of it. Off you come with me to the police station."

"No, no, I can't do that," I cried in alarm; "I have these children with me."

"People shouldn't take children out if they can't do without getting into mischief," grumbled the farmer. "No, you come along of me," and he caught hold of my arm.

"I'll give you my card," I said, "and if you have any serious complaint to make you can write to me."

"Aye, a likely story; and when I write to you, as likely as not I'll find you've given me a wrong address."

"Come back with me then to the inn: they know me there and will tell you whether or no the address is a correct one."

The old farmer was gradually persuaded to this course, though he grumbled all the way there that I ought to be "locked up," while the children, thoroughly subdued, walked in silence behind us.

"You'll have to pay a pretty penny for damages," said he warningly, when he had satisfied himself at the inn that I was known as "a gentleman who often drove over there in the summer, and always paid for what he had."

I assured him that he should have what was just, and when he had gone I ordered tea in the arbour at the end of the old-fashioned garden, and over it we forgot the unfortunate, but exciting, termination to our picnic.

We arrived home quite safely. Sure enough, a few days afterwards I received a preposterous claim for damage to the farmer's grass, which I left my solicitor to deal with; and more extraordinary still, I had a claim from Messrs. Piggott & Son for damages to a tent, which they "could not trace as having been hired to me, but which I must have hired at some time or another, since it bore their name marked as they only marked their tents let out on hire."

This letter also went to my solicitor, and to this day I've heard nothing further about either matter.

MYSTERY NO. IX

SHIN SHIRA AND THE QUEEN OF HEARTS

It was many months after this last adventure before I saw my friend Shin Shira again.

The summer was past, and it was the time of fires and warm drawn curtains. One evening, after dinner, I was sitting alone in my study, puzzling over a chess problem, when the servant brought me a card on which I read--

"DR. SHIN SHIRA SCARAMANGA MANOUSA YAMA HAWA."

"Oh!" I laughed, "show him in at once, please." For I had been longing for an opportunity of thanking the gallant little fellow for the bravery he had shown in the matter of the mad bull--a bravery to which some of us, at all events, probably owed our lives.

"Come in, come in! Delighted to see you!" I cried, getting up and making him comfortable in "the Toad," the chair which I know he likes best. I got out the tobacco jar, and we were soon chatting comfortably over our pipes.

"By the way," I said, picking up his card again and looking at it, when we had exhausted most of the topics of conversation which came to our minds, "I didn't know before that you were a doctor."

"Oh, I don't practise, and I seldom use the title except on my cards. It was given to me by the King of Hearts very many years ago. Ha-ha-ha!" And Shin Shira laughed heartily at what was evidently a humorous recollection.

"Won't you tell me about it, please?" said I.

"I don't know," replied the Dwarf, "that there is much to tell.

"It was while I was travelling round the world in my earlier days, and I had come, in the course of my wanderings, upon the country ruled over by the King of Hearts and his most charming Queen.

"Talk about turtle-doves! I had never seen such a perfectly devoted couple before in my life. They were like a pair of happy lovers, although they must have been married several years before I knew them.

"I happened to appear at their Majesties' dinner-table one evening when they were dining alone, just as dinner was being served.

"Of course they were greatly astonished at seeing me suddenly appear in their presence, especially as I arrived at a particularly awkward moment, when, the servants being busy with the dishes and having their backs turned, the King was squeezing her Majesty's hand under the table, and looking lovingly into her eyes.

"The King turned to the Lord Chief Butler, when that official returned, and looking at me curiously, said, 'It's very thoughtless of me, but I do not remember that I invited any guests for this evening.'

"'I had heard nothing of it either, your Majesty,' said the Lord Chief Butler, pursing up his lips and looking at me severely. 'Shall I request the Lord High Footman and the Lord Under Footman to remove the person?'

"'By no means,' said the King kindly; 'I will ask him myself what brings him here.'

"'It was a matter of compulsion, rather than of inclination, your Majesty,' said I. And I explained as well as I was able the curious affliction from which I suffer, of having to appear and disappear at the fairies' pleasure.

"'Most interesting--most!' said the Queen, smiling sweetly, 'and we should be most inhospitable if we did not make you welcome here for so long as the fairies will spare you to us.'

"This gracious speech, and the Queen's beauty, quite won my heart, and putting my hand on my heart, I bowed in the most graceful manner that I could command.

"The Lord Chief Butler, seeing that I was in favour with their Majesties, now brought me a plate, and some glasses, and waited upon me most obsequiously.

"'Tarts, my lord!' he announced, handing me a silver dish on which were piled some rather stodgy-looking jam affairs.

"'No thank you,' I replied.

"The man looked horrified, and the King and Queen greatly embarrassed by my refusal. 'Er--tarts--er--your Highness,--er--her Majesty's own make,' whispered the Lord Chief Butler.

"'Oh, then by all means I will change my mind,' said I gallantly, and I took two of the tarts on my plate, while the King and Queen looked on approvingly.

"I can safely say that in all my wanderings, through all these years, I have never before or since tasted such exceedingly unpleasant tarts.

"I hesitate to say more, out of respect to the most beautiful and gracious Queen who ever lived, but I could say a great deal.

"However, I managed to get through them, even to the bitter end, and had the satisfaction of seeing her Majesty look greatly delighted.

"'I really must have another one, my love,' declared the King; 'they are most delicious, made as they were by your own royal and beautiful hands.'

"'No--no--dearest,' smiled the Queen, her pride in her pastry battling with her consideration for her husband's health, 'you have already had two.'

"'Perhaps, my darling, you are right,' replied the King, with a sigh of relief, and hurriedly motioning to the Lord Chief Butler to remove his plate.

"'Perhaps our guest, though--' began the Queen sweetly.

"'No--no--thank you, your Majesty,' I hastened to say. 'I never--_never_--by any chance indulge in more than two, under doctor's strict orders.'

"'Very well then,' said her Majesty, 'we will have dessert.'

"The rest of the dinner was uneventful, and I was more and more impressed as the time went on with the gracious and simple bearing of the exalted personages of whom I was an uninvited guest.

"At last her Majesty rose, gave me a bow, and was led with old-fashioned courtesy by his Majesty to the door, which was thrown open by the servants, and the King and I were left alone to our coffee and cigars. After we had talked on various subjects for some time, I ventured to express my admiration of, and devotion to, the gracious lady who had just left us, and the King's eyes sparkled with delight.

"'You may well admire her, sir; she is rightly beloved for her graciousness and beauty from one end of my kingdom to the other, and her thoughtfulness and kindness to myself are beyond expression.

"'I _must_ tell you of a little incident (which you have just shared in) to prove to you how wholly devoted she is to my interests.

"'I have, as many other royal personages have at times, some difficulty in regulating my affairs so as to make both ends meet comfortably.

"'Her Majesty knew of this, and immediately began to take cooking lessons with a view to cooking for us when we are alone, and thus saving expenses in the kitchen. The tarts you tasted to-day are her Majesty's first attempt.'

"'R-eally!' I murmured, seeing that the King paused as though he expected me to say something.

"'Yes,' continued his Majesty, 'and to-morrow she has made me promise to catch her some blackbirds, with which to make a pie.'

"'Catch them?' I cried; 'why not shoot them?'

"'Oh! the Queen wouldn't think of letting me do anything so cruel, she is _so_ tender-hearted. But you'll come with me to-morrow, and help me to catch some, won't you?'

"I assured his Majesty that unless I had unfortunately to disappear before then, I should be delighted, and we went up to join her Majesty in the drawing-room.

"We found the Queen surrounded by her Maids of Honour, of whom some were sitting at the tambour frames, others doing fine embroidery, while two of their number were at the piano playing and singing.

"I was presented to these ladies, and, at the Queen's request, related some of the extraordinary adventures which, as you know, have, at one time or another in my long career, befallen me. The evening was quite a success, and I felt that I had indeed fallen upon my feet in such charming company.

"At a moderately early hour we retired, and in the morning, soon after breakfast, his Majesty and I started on our expedition in quest of blackbirds for the Queen's pie.

"Her Majesty and the Maids of Honour watched us start off from the balcony, and several retainers followed at a respectful distance, carrying various bags and implements of which I could not even imagine the uses.

"When we had got some distance from the Castle, his Majesty whispered to me confidentially that he must confess that he didn't know much about this sort of thing.

"'Er--do you recommend--er--_salt_ for blackbirds?' he inquired anxiously.

"'What for?' I asked.

"'To put on their tails, you know,' said the King. 'I have a recollection of hearing something, somewhere, about catching birds by putting salt on their tails. But perhaps that doesn't refer to blackbirds?' he added.

"I couldn't help smiling a little at the simple, good-natured, inexperienced King, but suggested immediately afterwards that some grain scattered before and inside a sieve propped up with a stick, to which some string was attached, would probably be a more effectual way of catching the birds.

"'What a brilliant idea!' said the King. 'I'll send the salt back and order some sieves, grain, sticks and string, as you suggest. Is there anything else?'

"'Something to put the birds in if we catch any, your Majesty,' said I.

"'Oh! I've thought of that,' said the King, 'and have several baskets ready.'

"The men were soon back with the sieves, and I quickly rigged up two of them as traps; and having baited them, I showed the King how to hide and pull the string directly one of the birds was under the sieve.

"Fortunately, blackbirds seemed to abound in that country, and there were soon several fluttering about, pecking at and picking up the grain.

"Presently, one got under my sieve, and pulling the support away by the string, I was fortunate enough to catch it. The King was delighted, and the more so when a few minutes afterwards he trapped two at once, in the same manner.

"After this, the 'sport,' if it could be called so, became fast and furious, and ended in our catching four-and-twenty birds between us.

"This the King considered would be sufficient, so we set off to the Castle again, the men bearing the baskets in triumph before us.

"'Oh! the dear, sweet little things!' cried Her Majesty, when she was shown our captives, 'and how clever of you to have caught them all! They'll make a perfectly lovely pie!' And she set off in high glee to the kitchens, to try her hand at the culinary art again.

"The afternoon was spent in the beautiful gardens surrounding the Castle, playing fives, for which there was a specially built court, and practising at archery, so that the time quickly passed, till we were called in by the first dinner gong.

"The Maids of Honour, together with some of the State Ministers, joined us at dinner, and I could see that the Queen, though sweet and gracious as ever, was very anxious as the dinner proceeded.

"Presently there was a flourish of trumpets heard at the door, and two pages appeared, bearing a silver salver upon which was an enormous pie. This was carefully set before the King, and his Majesty, after smiling at the Queen rather nervously, put the knife into the crust and removed a portion of it.

"Immediately afterwards, there was a great commotion heard from inside the pie, and first one bird and then another began to sing, hopping out of the pie and on to the table, evidently delighted at regaining its liberty.

"Finally, amid the breathless silence of all about the table, they flew off through the open window, and nothing was left but the crust.

"The Queen sat back in her chair looking half-triumphant and half-ashamed.

"'I'm afraid it isn't a very satisfactory pie, from the eating point of view,' she faltered, 'but I _couldn't_ have the poor pretty little things killed, and so I put them in the dish alive, and when the crust, which I baked separately, was nearly cold, I cut a hole in the top, so that they could breathe, and put it over them.'

"'It does your heart much credit, my love,' cried the King, 'and, the thought of cutting a hole in the crust was a very kind one.'

"And indeed, wherever and in whatever country I have been since that time, many years ago, and have related the story, the ladies of that country have always made a hole in the top of their pies, in honour of the beautiful and kind Queen who first invented it.

"I did not hear much more of the conversation which followed this episode, for unfortunately, just then, I felt myself disappearing, and had only just time to incline my head respectfully to the King and Queen before I had vanished."

"But," I remarked, when Shin Shira left off speaking, "you haven't told me yet how you came to get the title of 'Doctor.'"