Chapter 4

A snapper up of unconsidered trifles. SHAKSPEARE.

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A German having been shown Mount Edgcumbe, and magnificently entertained with sea-fish, exclaimed--"For my part, I like flat countries, and fresh-water fish."

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POETICAL SCRAP.

_Inscription over a chimney-sweeper's door, at the entrance to Hastings, from the London Road_:--

W. Freelove liveth here, Is willing to serve both far and near: He'll sweep your chimneys cheap and clean, And hopes your custom to obtain; And, if your chimney should catch fire, He'll put it out at your desire.

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The following article appeared, some years since, in a Valenciennes journal:--Six merchants crossing the Coast of Guinea, with seventy-five large monkeys, were attacked by upwards of a hundred negroes. Being at a loss how to defend themselves against such odds, one of the merchants proposed arming the prisoners: accordingly, swords, poniards, and pistols, were distributed amongst them, and, by imitating their masters, these grotesque auxiliaries succeeded in putting their aggressors to flight.

W.G.C.

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SWIFT'S EPIGRAM,

_On the dispute which occurred betwixt Bononcini and Handel_.

Bononcini swears that Handel Cannot to him hold a candle; And Handel swears that Bononcini, Compared to him is a mere ninny. 'Tis strange there should such difference be 'Twixt tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee!

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LORD CHESTERFIELD.

"At what time does a lady lose all susceptibility of the tender passion?" said his lordship to the Duchess of C----, then close upon a century of years.[4] The reply was brisk and animated--"Your lordship must apply to some one older than me, for I am incapable of answering the question."

[4] Ninety.

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BOW-STREET WIT.

Over the fire-place at the public office, Bow-street is a likeness of the celebrated Sir John Fielding _Knight_, who was at the head of this establishment after _losing his sight_. A gentleman, a few days ago, observed that Fielding was a great encourager of _thieving_. "How so?" asked his friend. "Why don't you know he was a _dark-knight_."

P.T.W.

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The following epitaph is on the tomb of David Birkenhead, in Davenham churchyard, Cheshire:

"A tailor by profession, And in the practice, a plain and honest man: He was a useful member of society; For, though he picked holes in no man's coat, He was ever ready to repair The mischief that others did; And whatever _breaches_ broke out in _families_, He was the man to mend _all_, And make matters up _again_: He lived and died respected."

Forty years' service in Lord Penryhn's family induced Lady Penryhn to bestow this stone to his memory.

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AXIOM.

Nought but love can answer love, And render bliss secure; But virtue nought can virtue prove To make that bliss secure.

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FOR A WATCH-CASE.

Life's but a transient span: Then, with a fervent prayer each night, Wind up the days, and set 'em right, Vain mortal man!

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LIMBIRD'S EDITION OF THE _Following Novels is already Published_:

_s. d._ Mackenzie's Man of Feeling 0 5 Paul and Virginia 0 6 The Castle of Otranto 0 6 Almoian and Hamet 0 6 Elizabeth, or the Exiles of Siberia 0 6 The Castles of Athlin and Dunbayne 0 6 Rasselas 0 8 The Old English Baron 0 8 Nature and Art 0 8 Goldsmith's Vicar of Wakefield 0 10 Sicilian Romance 1 0 The Man of the World 1 0 A Simple Story 1 4 Joseph Andrews 1 6 Humphry Clinker 1 6 The Romance of the Forest 1 8 The Italian 2 0 Zeluco, by Dr. Moore 2 6 Edward, by Dr. Moore 2 6 Roderick Random 2 6 The Mysteries of Udelpho 3 6 Peregrine Pickle 4 6