Chapter 4

Capt. S------, of the ------ regiment, during the American war, was notorious for a propensity, not to story-telling, but to telling long stories, which he used to indulge in defiance of time and place, often to the great annoyance of his immediate companions; but he was so good-humoured withal, that they were loth to check him abruptly or harshly. An opportunity occurred of giving him a hint, which had the desired effect. He was a member of a courtmartial assembled for the trial of a private of the regiment. The man bore a very good character in general, the offence he had committed was slight, and the court was rather at a loss what punishment to award, for it was requisite to award some, as the man had been found guilty. While they were deliberating on this, Major ------, now General Sir ------, suddenly turning to the president, said, in his dry manner, "Suppose we sentence him to hear two of Captain S------'s long stories."

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GENUINE GAELIC PROCLAMATION.

The crier sounds a flourish on that delightful sonorous instrument, the bagpipe, then loquitor, "Tak tent a' ye land louping hallions, the meickle deil tamn ye, tat are within the bounds. If any o' ye be foond fishing in ma Lort Preadalpine's gruns, he'll be first headit, and syne hangit, and syne droom't; an' if ta loon's bauld enough to come bock again, his horse and cart will be ta'en frae him; and if ta teils' sae grit wi' him tat he shows his ill faurd face ta three times, far waur things wull be dune till him. An noo tat ye a' ken ta wull o' ta lairt, I'll e'en gang hame and sup my brose."

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TO LOUISA.

L et me but hope O lovely maid, U ever will be mine, I 'll bless my fate, S upremely great, A happy _Valentine_.

N.R.H.

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A DEAD SUBJECT.

"_Dyed_ stockings are always rotten," said a Nottingham warehouseman.--"Yes," replied a by-stander, "and you'll be rotten when you're _dead_."

GRIZZLE.

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What will some grave people say to this?--from a "Constant Reader." A little boy having swallowed a medal of Napoleon, ran in great tribulation to his mother, and told her "that he had swallowed _Boneparty_."

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