Chapter 4

Two dustmen were lately disputing the difference between _bishop_ and _negus_. "Don't you know?" said one of them; "I vonders at your ignorance-- vy bishop is made all vine vithout no vater vatsomever; vereas negus is made with vine and vater mixed--that's the difference, to be sure."

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POLITE EVIDENCE.

At the Wells assizes, the other day, a butcher's wife, in giving her evidence, repeatedly turned towards the prisoner at the bar, and designated him as "that gentleman!" The judge at last lost all patience, and exclaimed, "Old woman, you are become quite offensive." This exemplifies Steele's speaking of "sin as a fine gentleman."

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Baron Garrow lately observed at Monmouth, that a respected friend of his, in the city of London, would sign his name on the outside of letters, in such a way as to defy the skill of every man in the court, even if assisted by the greater sagacity of the other sex, in finding out what his signature could possibly be meant for. The post-offices indeed, knew that a certain number of straight strokes, up and down, meant W. Curtis; but probably that was not because they could read the signature, but because nothing else at all like it ever came there.

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Dr. Solo, on hearing of the glorious victory obtained by Bolivar, was determined that every bird and beast that he possessed should get drunk on this glorious occasion. For this purpose he gave the horses, cows, pigs, and poultry and birds as much juice of the sugar-cane as they could drink; and it was very amusing to see the pigs jump about in the most frolicsome manner.--_Hutchinson's Travels in Colombia._

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BELL ROCK LIGHT-HOUSE.

In the _Album_ at the Bell Rock Light-House are the following lines by Sir Walter Scott:--

_Pharos Loquitur._

Far in the bosom of the deep, O'er these wild shelves my watch I keep; A ruddy gem of changeful light, Bound on the dusky brow of night; The seaman bids my lustre hail, And scorns to strike his timorous sail.

WALTER SCOTT.

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NEWSPAPER WONDERS.

Flights of wild ducks and geese, in numbers _sufficiently multitudinous to darken the air_, have already migrated to the moors--a circumstance scarcely existing in the memory of the oldest inhabitant at this period of the year.--_Hereford Journal._

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A countryman, who was cutting wood near the falls of Niagara, on the 10th of July, was attacked by a rattle-snake; in his terror he leaped across a tremendous gulf, sixty-seven feet wide, and escaped unhurt!--_Charleston Paper._

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The _Weedsport Advertiser_ (an American Journal) relates an incident which had just occurred in the town of Cato, Cross Lake. A young man named Stockwell, son of a widow woman of that name, living in the town, after repeated threats to kill a favourite cat belonging to the house, in order to vex his mother, at length undertook to carry them into execution. In the morning he took the cat and started with her into the woods, telling his youngest sister that he was going to destroy her. They were absent until the afternoon, when the cat came home, _apparently looking_ as though she had been in the water. The next morning the young man's clothes were seen on the bank of Cross Lake, and in the water was found his body, the face and shoulder dreadfully scratched, evidently by the cat in struggling, so that little doubt existed that he was drowned in attempting to destroy puss. All speculation on the matter, however, was set at rest on the body being brought home, for the cat flew at the corpse, and could with difficulty be kept off.

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IMPROMPTU ON RELIEVING A BEGGAR.

_(For the Mirror.)_

Take this, old man, thy looks bespeak thy need, And pity never questions want and woe; A bright-hair'd angel registers the deed In heaven--the meed of charity below!

H.M.L.

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Rosamond's Labyrinth--We shall feel obliged by a call from the gentleman who favoured us with the original of this engraving; or, if more convenient, by a note enclosing his address.