Chapter 4

Fair Cleopatra's very plain, Puck halts, and Ariel swaggers-- And Cæsar's murder'd o'er again, Though not by Roman daggers. Great Charlemagne is four feet high-- Sad Stuff has Bacon spoken-- Queen Mary's waist is all awry, And Psyche's nose is broken.

Our happiest bride, how very odd! Is the mourning Isabella, And the heaviest foot that ever trod Is the foot of Cinderella. Here sad Calista laughs outright, There Yorick looks most grave, Sir, And a Templar waves the cross to-night, Who never cross'd the wave, Sir.

And what a Babel is the talk! "The Giraffe"--"plays the fiddle"-- "Macadam's roads"--"I hate this chalk"-- "Sweet girl"--"a charming riddle"-- "I'm nearly drunk with"--"Epsom salts"-- "Yes, separate beds"--"such cronies!"-- "Good heaven! who taught that man to valtz?"-- "A pair of Shetland ponies."

"Lord D----" "an enchanting shape"-- "Will move for"--"Maraschino" "Pray, Julia, how's your mother's ape?"-- "He died at Navarino!" "The gout, by Jove, is"--"apple pie"-- "Don Miguel"--"Tom the tinker"-- "His Lordship's pedigree's as high As ----" "Whipcord, dam by Clinker."

"Love's shafts are weak"--"my chestnut kicks"-- "Heart broken;"--"broke the traces"-- "What say you now of politics?"-- "Change sides and to your places"-- "A five-barred gate"--"a precious pearl" "Grave things may all be punn'd on!"-- "The Whigs, thank God, are"--"out of curl!"-- "Her age is"--"four by London!"

Thus run the giddy hours away, Till morning's light is beaming, And we must go to dream by day All we to-night are dreaming; To smile and sigh, to love and change-- Oh! in our heart's recesses, We dress in fancies quite as strange As these our fancy-dresses.

_New Monthly Magazine_.

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THE GATHERER.

A snapper up of unconsidered trifles SHAKSPEARE.

Tho' lang an lonely be the road Between me an my dearie; Yet I the gate hae aften troad, When I've been tired and wearie.

Be't stormin rain, hail, win or snaw-- A lonely road and drearie-- There's nought wad e'er keep me awa Frae gaun to see my dearie!!!

M.

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FRENCH BALL CONVERSATION.

During the French revolution, parties danced as gaily as ever; the following is a ball conversation, which took place in the month of Frimare, year 7.:--Well, the Ottoman Porte has declared war against us! Oh yes, there is no doubt of it, (_En avant deux_) It is an enemy the more--(_chassez_) and the Russian fleet they say has passed the Dardanelles, (_en avant quatre_) yet the papers say that the emperor sincerely desires peace.--Yes, but Count Metternich wishes for war, (_balancez_) so we have also a new coalition against us. England, Portugal, Naples, Turkey, the Emperor, Russia, perhaps the empire of Prussia, (_Faites face et chassez tous les huit_)--well we have bayonettes, (_la poussette_) besides it is not so far from Dover to Calais, (_traversez_)--Do you belong to the conscription?--Yes, and I too; (_pirouettez_) what makes me uneasy is to know what will become of our partners when we are gone: (_La chaine des dames_)--what will be left to amuse them (_La queu du chat_.) It was thus that days of terror were preceded by evenings of amusement and pleasure.

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INTUITIVE AFFECTION.

"There are three things," said a wit, "which I have always loved without ever understanding them, painting, music, and woman."

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RETORT UNCOURTEOUS.

A lady, well known in the fashionable vicinity of Portland-place, always accosts a stranger, with "I think I have seen you somewhere," which often leads to a clue for her finding out the history of the party. One evening she played off the same game on a gentleman, who replied, "Most likely, madam, for I sometimes go there."

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