SCENE I. _A field near Frogmore.

_Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE._

_Evans._ I pray you now, good Master Slender’s serving-man, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls himself doctor of physic?

_Sim._ Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward, every 5 way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way.

_Evans._ I most fehemently desire you you will also look that way.

_Sim._ I will, sir. [_Exit._

_Evans._ Pless my soul, how full of chollors I am, and 10 trempling of mind!--I shall be glad if he have deceived me. --How melancholies I am!--I will knog his urinals about his knave’s costard when I have goot opportunities for the ork. --Pless my soul!-- [_Sings._

To shallow rivers, to whose falls 15 Melodious birds sings madrigals; There will we make our peds of roses, And a thousand fragrant posies. To shallow--

Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry. [_Sings._ 20

Melodious birds sing madrigals-- Whenas I sat in Pabylon-- And a thousand vagram posies. To shallow &c.

_Re-enter SIMPLE._

_Sim._ Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh. 25

_Evans._ He’s welcome. -- [_Sings._

To shallow rivers, to whose falls--

Heaven prosper the right!--What weapons is he?

_Sim._ No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, 30 over the stile, this way.

_Evans._ Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms.

_Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER._

_Shal._ How now, master parson! Good morrow, good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good 35 student from his book, and it is wonderful.

_Slen._ [_Aside_] Ah, sweet Anne Page!

_Page._ Save you, good Sir Hugh!

_Evans._ Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!

_Shal._ What, the sword and the word! do you study 40 them both, master parson?

_Page._ And youthful still! in your doublet and hose this raw rheumatic day!

_Evans._ There is reasons and causes for it.

_Page._ We are come to you to do a good office, master 45 parson.

_Evans._ Fery well: what is it?

_Page._ Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you saw. 50

_Shal._ I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect.

_Evans._ What is he?

_Page._ I think you know him; Master Doctor Caius, 55 the renowned French physician.

_Evans._ Got’s will, and his passion of my heart! I had as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.

_Page._ Why?

_Evans._ He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and 60 Galen,--and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave as you would desires to be acquainted withal.

_Page._ I warrant you, he’s the man should fight with him.

_Slen._ [_Aside_] O sweet Anne Page! 65

_Shal._ It appears so, by his weapons. Keep them asunder: here comes Doctor Caius.

_Enter HOST, CAIUS, and RUGBY._

_Page._ Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon.

_Shal._ So do you, good master doctor.

_Host._ Disarm them, and let them question: let them 70 keep their limbs whole, and hack our English.

_Caius._ I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear. Verefore vill you not meet-a me?

_Evans._ [_Aside to Caius_] Pray you, use your patience: in good time. 75

_Caius._ By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.

_Evans._ [_Aside to Caius_] Pray you, let us not be laughing-stocks to other men’s humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends. 80 [_Aloud_] I will knog your urinals about your knave’s cogscomb [for missing your meetings and appointments].

_Caius._ Diable!--Jack Rugby,--mine host de Jarteer,--have I not stay for him to kill him? have I not, at de place I did appoint? 85

_Evans._ As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the place appointed: I’ll be judgement by mine host of the Garter.

_Host._ Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, soul-curer and body-curer! 90

_Caius._ Ay, dat is very good; excellent.

_Host._ Peace, I say! hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? no; he 95 gives me the proverbs and the no-verbs. [Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so.] Give me thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay their 100 swords to pawn. Follow me, lads of peace; follow, follow, follow.

_Shal._ Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow.

_Slen._ [_Aside_] O sweet Anne Page!

[_Exeunt Shal., Slen., Page, and Host._ 105

_Caius._ Ha, do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha?

_Evans._ This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. --I desire you that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, 110 cogging companion, the host of the Garter.

_Caius._ By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me where is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too.

_Evans._ Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you, follow. [_Exeunt._ 115

NOTES: III, 1

5: _pittie-ward_] F1 Q3. _pitty-wary_ F2 F3 F4. _city-ward_ Capell. _pit way_ Collier MS. _the park-ward_] _the park way_ Collier MS. 7: _also_] om. Q3. 10: _chollors_] F1 Q3 F2. _chollars_ F3 F4. 14: _sings_] Ff. _sing_ Q3. 15, 19, 24, 27: _To shallow_] (Q1 Q2) Ff Q3. _By shallow_ Theobald. 18: _fragrant_] (Q1 Q2) Ff. _vagram_ Q3. _vragrant_ Hanmer. _vagrant_ Johnson. 20: _dispositions_] F1 Q3. _disposition_ F2 F3 F4. 21: _madrigals_] _madrigall_ F2 F3 F4. 23: _vagram_] Ff Q3. _vagrant_ Pope. _vragant_ Hanmer. _vagrant_ Johnson. 27: _to whose_] _in whose_ Q3. 34: SCENE II. Pope. 36: _student_] F3 F4. _studient_ F1 Q3 F2. 37, 65, 105: [Aside] Edd. 62: _desires_] F1 Q3. _desire_ F2 F3 F4. 66: SCENE III. Pope. 68: _in_] om. Q3. 74: [Aside...] Edd. See note (VII). 78: [Aside...] Staunton. _Pray you_] _I pray you_ Q3. _laughing-stocks_] _laughing stogs_ J. rec. Edd. 81: [Aloud] Staunton. _your_] _your your_ F4. _you your_ Rowe. _urinals_] (Q1 Q2) Capell. _urinal_] Ff Q3. 82: [_for ... appointments_] Pope (from Q1 Q2). om. Ff Q3. 89: _Gallia and Gaul_] F3 F4. _Gallia and Gaule_ F1 Q3 F2. _Gawle and Gawlia_ (Q1 Q2). _Gallia and Wallia_ Halliwell MS. Hanmer. _Guallia and Gaul_ Malone (Farmer conj.). _Gallia and Guallia_ Collier (Farmer MS. conj.). 95: _lose my parson, my priest_] _lose my Priest_ Pope. 96: [_Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so_] Theobald (from Q1 Q2). om. Ff Q3. _Give me thy hands, celestial and terrestrial; so._ Collier MS. 101: _lads_] (Q1 Q2) Warburton. _lad_ Ff Q3. 108: _vlouting-stog_] _vlouting-stock_ Pope. 110: _scall_] _scald_ Pope. _Scal’_ Capell. 112: _with_] _vith_ Hanmer. _vit_ rec. Capell. 113: _where_] _vhere_ Pope. _ver_ Hanmer. _vere_ rec. Capell.