Part 3

And when his writings were followed by another book compiled by an explosive-manufacturer suitably named BURN-ARDOR, and which described in detail the method to be followed in the contemplated struggle, the minds of the Two-Tons were fully made up concerning the futility of Nazarrano kindness, and the superiority of nature-morality. Indeed, when the struggle came, even the Two-Ton division of the Social-Mist sect, advocates of international cooperation and peace, compounders of a cure for the dreadful nationality-mania, prophets of good-will to all nations, but among whom the nature-view nevertheless largely prevailed, suddenly lost their idealistic enthusiasm, and joined the ranks of the nationality-maniacs, in order to make use of the explosives under the command of the destruction-chiefs. Had these Social-Mists suddenly gone mad? Why no, not suddenly. They simply felt their intimate relationship to one of the Martian nations; and these nations had been mad for centuries, and had not yet been brought back to sanity; that’s all.

True, in other countries the Darviniano philosophy had led to conclusions of a different type. In Brittia a contemporary of DARVINO, answering to the name of SPENSAIRO, had elaborately traced the development of Martian social conditions from time immemorial to date. And he showed that as the nations had advanced in civilization, their pursuits and mental attitude had grown more and more peaceable. He concluded that the martial spirit of destruction is a spirit of barbaric savagery. Hence, cooperation among the various nations for the good of all was the ideal toward which his conclusions pointed. It is curious that this advocate of peace arose in a country that had arrived at a position of foremost political importance, so that by this nation no struggle for predominance with other nations was in the least desired. It is just as curious that in Two-Tonia, which was actually engaged in a mental struggle for supremacy, the rising philosophers were advocates of the sanctity of power and the primordial struggle for survival.

Indeed, the militaristic BURN-ARDOR previously referred to, sarcastically pointed to this influence of political conditions upon a nation’s philosophic views. He expressed the opinion that these philosophers purposely proclaimed their conclusions for the benefit of their own country. Our Martian informer, however, thought that it was simply one of the subconscious elements that unwittingly influence the thoughts of a nation and of its authors. As BURN-ARDOR saw in this wholly unavoidable result the effect of nefarious deep-low-matic selfishness, he even declared that, as between nation and nation, neither virtue, nor honor, nor fairness was ever taken in consideration. Yet, if it is bad for the members of a family to treat one another without fair-minded loyalty, if it is morally despicable for any family to treat the neighboring families dishonorably and with malice or hidden unfair purposes, it is just as contemptible for that larger aggregate of Martians, called a nation, to treat any other nation unfairly or unscrupulously. BURN-ARDOR probably gave his impression of things as he thought they were, and not as he thought they ought to be.

When the TWO-TONIAN SUPREMACY WAR had at last become a dreadful physical fact, a number of nations were involved in the titanic struggle. Considering the jealousy with which the Brits had long guarded their predominance, and the Two-Ton aspiration to supplant them, one might have expected the Two-Tons to seek some deep-low-matic excuse for engaging the Brits in a gigantic wrestling match. And had they done so, the Martian world would probably have looked on, impartial, and satisfied to see the best man win. But the struggle was brought about in a very different manner.

One nation, in reality the only one with whom the Two-Tons entertained intimate relations, was the group of Martians usually referred to as the Ostrich-ans or AUSTRICH-ANS. They were so named, not because the ostrich makes their country its habitat, for this bird never had any such intention; not because they were wont, like the ostrich, to hide their heads in the sand under the impression that they are thus protected from an approaching enemy, for when they are compelled to hide, they are wise enough not to hide their heads alone and leave the rest of their frail bodies exposed: the name Austrich-ans was given them because, like this famous bird, they were known for a voracious and very varied appetite. They were in the habit of nibbling, whenever they had a chance, at the neighboring territories known as the Bally-Khan States. They had even at one time dipped their steel forks into the plate of the EAT-ALL-IANS, a nation whose territory also borders theirs. Nay, so typically were they renowned for their everlasting appetite, that one prominent part of their country actually bears the official name HUNG’RY! As the Two-Tons are reputed to serve five meals a day, and as the Austrich-ans moreover speak the same language as the Two-Tons, the friendship between these two nations was ideal, and even caused them to dream of a delicious Pan-Two-Tonianism.

The nearest neighbors of these Austrich-ans were a much smaller tribe which subsequently was referred to as the SERVERS, because they served the Two-Tons apparently as a welcome excuse to start the struggle. The Austrich-ans had no end of trouble with the Servers. The nationality-mania between them had indeed developed to a state of very dangerous acuteness. At last, in the country of the Servers, a crime was committed of which an Austrich-an official was the victim. Now in the Darvinized Nazarrano countries all crimes were dealt with by law-courts instituted for this very purpose. And in case a foreigner was the victim, the courts were wont to act with redoubled vigor; and the country where the deed had been done would moreover make amends to the country of which the victim had been a citizen, amends which were made in various forms. Law-courts, in fact, are one of the first marks of civilization on Mars. But the Austrich-ans were not satisfied to treat this particular case in the ordinary legal way. They sent the Servers a message demanding such amends as no nation had ever demanded of any other. Their message of indignation was couched in terms, and contained stipulations, to which no self-respecting nation, not even the smallest, could in the eyes of the rest of the Martian world honorably have submitted.

Now the Servers were one of a group of small nations, heretofore referred to as the Bally-Khan States, and they had a powerful friend and protector in the politically far more important nation of the RUSH-NOTS. The Rush-Nots were named for the slowness of their national progress. For many centuries there had been among the Nazarrano nations a pronounced prejudice against the Heebrons, notwithstanding the fact that NAZARRO Himself had been a Heebron and had followed the Heebron faith. Heebrons were unscrupulously persecuted, robbed, tortured, murdered, their possessions frequently confiscated, and they were permitted to dwell only in special sections set aside for them. These criminal proceedings had long ago been abolished in all the other Nazarrano countries, but the Rush-Nots continued to indulge in these sordid amusements of the long-forgotten past. In all other Nazarrano countries, moreover, the power of the ruler had been limited by giving his subjects a share in determining the laws that govern them. Among the Rush-Nots the ruler still had absolute power over his subjects as the rulers in other countries had had in the long-forgotten past. So you can easily understand that in matters of progress and social improvement they rushed not. Nevertheless, by means of bloodshed, the Rush-Nots had acquired a goodly proportion of the crust of Mars. So the Rush-Nots, being friends of the Bally-Khan nations to which group the Servers belonged, parleyed with the Austrich-ans and told them to treat the Servers more politely, and threatened that otherwise they would be compelled to direct their engines of destruction very impolitely against the Austrich-ans.

We have stated before that Brittia was desirous of permanent peace. So, indeed, were the Rush-Nots, because they, too, had obtained more than their due proportion of Martian territory. So, too, were the previously mentioned Frank-Aulians or Fringe, who in fact had entered into an intimate bond of friendship with the Rush-Nots. The Brits therefore, to all appearances, did their best by means of dip-low-macy to avoid the threatening war. But the Austrich-ans hurriedly commenced to make war preparations; and when the Rush-Nots saw this, they followed suit.

Whether or not the Austrich-ans had acted all this time with the secret approval of the great WILMOSTASH, or the Two-Ton explosive-manufacturers, may forever be a question fit for debate. Yet so much is certain that, at this momentous stage of the international quarrel, WILMOSTASH peremptorily told the Rush-Nots to turn their destructive apparatus back from the Austrich-an borders, so that Austricha might do to the Servers whatever served the Austrich-an-Two-Tonian interests best. The Rush-Nots told the mighty WILMOSTASH to go to Halifax, a sort of meeting-place where it is always hot to suffocation.

Did the Two-Tons thereupon at once attack the Rush-Nots? No, they Did-not. Aware that the Fringe were an important factor in various anti-Two-Tonian protective alliances, they anticipated that the Fringe would beyond question actively side with the Rush-Nots. As a consequence, you might have expected the Two-Tons to start a vigorous campaign against the Rush-Nots, meanwhile heavily guarding their borders against invasion by the Fringe. And in case the Fringe would subsequently have grown too gay, the Two-Tons might then justly have handled them in accordance with the rules dominating such international pastimes. As their quarrel was with the Rush-Nots, this of course would to all appearances have been the logical plan to follow. Yet, even this plainly outlined course the Two-Tons Did-not take. Under the impression that the Rush-Not armies are heavy and slow, and that the Fringe are light and quick as lightning; convinced moreover that their chances of victory lay in offensive action, and that a defensive attitude might imperil their cause, the Two-Tons decided, before assailing the Rush-Nots, first to attack the Fringe.

In explanation of the odd-sounding name of the latter nation, let me state that the Frank-Aulians or Fringe are named for the frankness with which they own and exhibit their vices as well as their virtues. Aulians is sometimes spelled Owlians and evidently refers to the fact that many of their great men are known to have been night-owls. The shorter name Fringe is applied to them on account of their artistic inclinations. Although they have contributed a goodly share to Martian science, philosophy and the industries, their most pronounced characteristic is that they are so eminently fond of profuse decoration. They decorate their homes, their theatres, their churches, and their minds. Thus they have decorated the Nazarrano-Darviniano form of civilization with a harmoniously colored fringe of politeness, a bit fuzzy, quite a bit inclined toward dip-low-matic deceit, but, all in all, rather artistic.

When the Two-Tons had decided to attack the Fringe, did they cross that part of their border that leads directly into the Fringe territory? No, they Did-not. By George, king of the Brits, I am almost inclined hereafter to call the Two-Tons the Did-Nots! Instead of this, they decided to run their destructive engines across two small and perfectly nootril countries, one known as Luxury-burgh, and the other inhabited by a valiant little nation whose name is fast going down in Martian history as the BELL-GIANTS. Their country contains all sorts of beautiful old buildings and churches renowned all over Mars for their marvelous bells and chimes; and small as be their number, they are, nevertheless, known as the Giants, because in case of need they are willing to undertake gigantic tasks, from which many another small nation would shrink in fear. Accordingly, the Bell-Giants obstructed the passage of the Two-Tons, and undertook a struggle in which they were bound to be defeated.

And here comes a typical instance of Brit deep-low-macy. Because the maniacal envy of nation toward nation had become unbearable even to the deluded Martians, the nations had signed certain agreements for the protection of what was called the buffer-countries, territories whose neutrality was to be respected in case the bigger nations would ever go to war. The Two-Tons had signed this agreement, and so had the Brits. Now after the Brits had endeavored to prevent the war, they published the letters and telegrams which they had exchanged for that purpose with the various foreign dip-low-mats. From this correspondence it appears that the Two-Tons had made an inquiry to find out whether the Brits would look on unmoved or whether they would take a hand in the upheaval, in case the Two-Tons were to start the international cataclasm. In reply, the Brits carefully controlled their muscles and said, they were not at all certain what they would do. May-be they were at first indeed undecided. But then one of the Brit dip-low-mats asked one of the medal-bearing chesty Two-Tons whether Two-Tonia would agree not to annex any part of the Fringe territory. The Two-Ton replied that Two-Tonia would positively refrain from any such glaring violation of the Nazarrano precepts. Whereupon the Brit, who in the meantime had telegraphed to his government, returned to the weighty Two-Ton to ask whether his promise also held good for the Fringe _colonies_. The Two-Ton smilingly remarked that even NAZARRO Himself could not expect the virtue of the Two-Tons to carry them so far as to stoop to so absurd a self-abnegation. And as the Brits were not anxious to have a colonial competitor with habits so deep-digging as those of the Two-Tons, the Brits undoubtedly made up their minds then and there not to look on unmoved. So when the Two-Tons started to cross the territory of the Bell-Giants and forced them to a hopeless self-defense, the Brits rose in ire and made a noisy hallabaloo about the violation of the neutrality treaty, and used this as an excuse to join the opponents of the Two-Tons. Thus once again, they hid their selfishness behind a rather transparent veneer of noble indignation and ideals.

And now the war is on, and an insensate pandemonium reigns in the countries which we once looked upon as civilized. An amount of energy is being wasted that, if properly applied, could have led to the realization of many a wonderful social ideal, many a hope long cherished by humanity in vain. An amount of wealth is being squandered on destruction which, applied in conjunction with this vast amount of energy, could have built castles of education beyond our present dreams, institutes of mind-broadening influence upon all the suffering human race. An amount of blood and life is being sacrificed, compared to which the human sacrifices to the gods of yore dwindle into utter insignificance. And all this for the vain-glory that some one nation might harvest, by wantonly destroying the pride of existence, the happiness, the strength, the life-blood of another. What the outcome of this blind folly will be, no one, alas, as yet can tell.

Here came once more a pause of silence, and the Martian philosopher thereupon entrusted to Professor FANSEE some further personal confidences. The country I live in, he said, was discovered by an enterprising traveler for whom many statues have been erected and who is therefore popularly referred to as COLUMN-BUST. When he discovered our country he exclaimed “Eureka!” which means in one of the dead Martian languages: I have found it. As a result of this exclamation, my country was called AM-EUREKA. I may say with pride, and with a humane lack of prejudice entirely uninfluenced by the usual nationality-mania, that my country is one of the few on Mars in which petty jealousy and malice against other nations is totally unknown. Although the Nazarrano and Darviniano faiths form a mechanical mixture among us just as among other civilized nations, yet the Heebron and Nazarrano precepts are beyond all else dear to us; not so much for their supposedly divine origin, but far more so for their humane and beneficent character. We are not double-faced, either nationally or internationally. In the conduct of business as well as in our international relations we are broadminded. When we say we are in favor of permanent peace, we mean what we say, without hiding any selfish motives. When we say we are, if need be, ready to fight for a noble cause, there is nothing in our minds except this noble cause, and we have no by-thoughts to hide.

Now I was born on that hemisphere on which the struggle is now going on, and to which we in Am-Eureka, owing to our strictly neutral principles, nowadays refer as YOUR-ROPE. Am-Eureka became my country by adoption; and in Your-Rope I had frequented artistic circles from which I imbibed exceedingly lofty ideals, such as Art for Art’s sake, Science for the sake of Science, the preference of other aims to money-hunting, and so on. And not finding similar ideals catered to in my adopted country, I personally had always considered the inhabitants of Your-Rope as on a plane of civilization far higher than that reached in Am-Eureka.

The drama at present being played in that hemisphere of so-called high ideals has absolutely changed this point of view. The simple precepts of NAZARRO and of the earlier Heebron teachers are the best that the Martians can desire for their guidance. The brotherhood of nations and the peaceable attitude of man toward man no matter on what part of Mars he happens to have been born, is an ideal at least as inspiring as Art for Art’s sake. The high flying and loudly proclaimed ideals of Your-Rope are not the ideals of humanity at large. They are fitted for but a small class of men who by these ideals are inspired toward producing things of wonderful beauty, highly idealistic, but utterly superfluous to human comfort and welfare. The peace-ideal of the Am-Eurekans, unobtrusive, subconsciously active in their heart and every-day actions, not claiming a sky-reaching mental superiority, is not only fit for all Martians, young and old, high and low, able and unable, hence also for those engaged in the production of useful things needed in every-day life, but it is moreover an ideal which would benefit all civilized countries and aid the further development of science, industry, and mental as well as physical civilization.

Here the Martian philosopher seemed to have been interrupted. A few minutes elapsed before the Zee-rays continued to do their interesting work. My assistant remarks, he subsequently said, that Am-Eureka itself but recently might have gone to war with a neighboring country called MAKE-SICK-O, and that the Am-Eurekans actually sent a fleet to WE’RE-ON-A-CRUISE. And indeed, such things may sometimes be necessary. But our behavior in We’re-on-a-Cruise is typical of the difference between Am-Eurekan and Your-Ropean warfare. When we Am-Eurekans entered We’re-on-a-Cruise, there were snipers there who shot at us from windows and housetops. One must expect these things on a campaign of invasion. The private citizens naturally are your enemies as much as are the uniformed soldiers. So, what did we do? We shot back at them whenever it was unavoidable. Whenever possible, we arrested them. We further saw to it that all citizens surrendered all weapons in their possession. This work done, we started to improve the sanitary conditions of the town. We made the town more comfortable to live in than it had ever been under Make-sickan rule. On the other hand, it is said of the Two-Tons that they conquered among others a town called Low-Vein situated in the territory of the Bell-Giants. Quite naturally they found snipers there. Did they meet the situation as humanely as we had done? No, they Did-not. So passionately enraged were they, on the contrary, at this inevitable discovery, that they burned, shelled, and destroyed the larger part of the town and its inhabitants; and a town this in which the very buildings were treasures of mediaeval art. After this, further sanitary improvements were almost wholly superfluous.

No, even though circumstances may have compelled us to send that fleet, even though similar circumstances may again compel us to similar acts, and even though we may thus find ourselves some day engaged in bloody war with some other nation, in our minds and in our breasts we bear no malice toward either the Make-sickans or any other nation on all our vast planet. We might fight, but the fight having been fought, we would gladly shake hands, and feel sincerely sorry that we had been drawn into a nasty quarrel. And this, without dip-low-macy, without manipulation of the facial muscles, wholeheartedly, as befits a good sport.

Separated as we are, by an expansive ocean, from the main seat of nationality-mania, we look on unprejudiced, pitying deeply the Martians who are forced to suffer by its fearful consequences, and doing what we can to stay at least the starvation that might follow in the struggle’s dreadful wake.

Nor do we take sides in this horrible calamity. Why call one madman a fool and jolly the other madman by telling him that he is right? We, on this side of the rocking pond, do not care a rap whether the Brits, the Two-Tons, or any other nation attains to world-supremacy, provided that, this supremacy reached, they shall not assume an overbearing attitude or dictate to us how we are to conduct our business. We Am-Eurekans do not aspire at supremacy. Our institutions are founded on equality; and, indeed, equality and supremacy cannot easily be made to harmonize. All we aspire to attain is what a clean-minded and healthful development of our resources and intelligence may bring us in the natural course of events. All we advise other nations is to be wise enough not maliciously to interfere with this development.

Did the Two-Tons believe the Brits were maliciously interfering with their natural growth? Then they should have gone straight for the Brits, without starting a campaign against the Fringe or the Rush-Nots, and without a destructive passage through a small country that never had been accused of malicious interference. Were the Brits under the impression that their natural development was maliciously interfered with by the Two-Tons? Then they should have settled their quarrel openly and directly with the Two-Tons, without waiting deep-low-matically for a “noble” excuse that they all along expected to be furnished them. We Am-Eurekans believe in a fair fight when a fight cannot be avoided; stripped and without gloves if need be; but no hitting below the belt.