CHAPTER IX.

MORE TREACHERY

Walter Hammond is a truly remarkable person to associate with Eveleen. She is rather short, even for a girl, while he is a perfect lamp-post of a man--one of those long, lean persons who seem all bones. As he fancies himself horsey, and will persist in dressing the part, and wearing the tightest clothes, his extreme slimness is still more conspicuous. He is one of those creatures who, when they are in a room, seem to be all over the place at once. When he is sitting down he never seems to know what to do with his legs, they really are tremendously long; if he stretched them out at full length under an ordinary dining-table, I should not be surprised if his toes peeped out the other side; and when he stands up he is equally at a loss what use to make of his hands and arms. He speaks in a rapid, jerky sort of way--in fact, he is jerky altogether. When anyone addresses him, he not only twists his body round with one jerk, and his head with another, and puts his eyeglass in with one jerk, and out with a second, but he jerks at his moustache, first with his right hand, and then with his left, in a fashion which a slightly nervous person, who is not used to him, must find not a little disconcerting. But I believe he is harmless, though I don’t think he is as wise as he might be. He appears to have the whole of the “Turf Guide,” or whatever you call the thing, at his finger ends; and, if you will let him, will talk about horses until you begin to pray for the hour when motor-cars will have made them as extinct as the dodo.

His manner of entering the room was, on that occasion, characteristic. He was groping about for his eyeglass, which, as usual, eluded search between the buttons of his waistcoat, and was carrying his hat, and gloves, and stick, and a good-sized parcel, with an evident want of certainty as to the hand they ought to be in, which it gave one the fidgets to observe.

Audrey greeted him with a degree of warmth which suggested that she regarded his appearance as a welcome interlude. I know I did. I should have regarded the advent of anyone or anything as a welcome interlude just then, I believe even mad dogs; though, as I have never encountered a mad dog, and never wish to, perhaps I had better not be too sure.

“Oh, Mr Hammond, is that you? How delightful! We want somebody to amuse us, we are so dull. Eveleen will be charmed; she will be down in a moment.”

“Needn’t ask how you are, Miss Audrey; you’re always fit. And Miss Doris too; can’t make out how you manage.”

Doris spoke.

“We don’t manage. We have our sufferings like other folk--sometimes very unexpected ones they are. What have you in that great parcel? It does seem to be in your way; won’t you leave it in the hall?”

“Gloves! gloves! couldn’t possibly leave it in the hall. It’s a little bet I lost to Miss Eveleen over Rocketter. The Brimstone filly was giving him four pounds, it seemed to me that at the weights it was a cert--dead snip. Rocketter won the Horndean Plate, the Scratchem Cup, the Slingsbury Stakes, with the weights against him. Appeared to me down the Lingfield straight, with such a handicap, there was only one horse in it. I was wrong. Told Jim Smiff rode a ripping race--hung on to Rocketter’s tail--caught him at the distance--nosed him at the post. So Miss Eveleen wins her gloves; sure, it gives me the greatest pleasure to pay them.”

I am not an expert in racing slang, so, if there is anything wrong in the way Mr Hammond’s observations are reported I am not to blame. I only pretend to give a rudimentary impression of the general style of his conversation. It was an extraordinary thing that when Eveleen bet with him she nearly always won. Either he was careful to arrange it so, or else he knew less than he supposed, and she more. Anyhow, somehow, her horse was nearly always in front of his. A remark which Doris made seemed to convey a hint which he might or might not have considered flattering.

“It must be nice to bet with you, Mr Hammond. It ensures one having a constant gratuitous supply of little necessaries.”

“Awfully good of you to say so, Miss Doris--really. Always delighted to lose to a lady--especially when I’ve had a good run for my money--yes. Tremendous rush there seems to be on the Gaiety. Had deuce’s own business to get two stalls.”

“For to-night?”

“Yes. Miss Eveleen said she’d like to see the show--so been worrying round--yes--had to worry too; but I got ’em.”

“Eveleen is fortunate. I also should like to see the show.”

“Very kind of you to say so--jolly flattering to the theatre people--they ought to go up one.”

He had been fumbling, at intervals, for his eyeglass. Now, having dropped his hat, stick, and gloves, and only retaining his clutch on his parcel, he at last succeeded in jerking his glass into a stationary position in front of his eye. He turned towards me. As he did so he beamed all over, stood up, and advanced towards me with what he possibly intended for a seraphic smile, but which did not strike me in that light at all.

“’Pon my word, Miss Norah, fancy you sitting there all the time and my not noticing you--only fancy. How very strange! How are you? I needn’t ask; you always are so fit; how do you manage? I never saw you looking fitter than you are looking just now--does one’s eyesight good to look at you. Cannot understand how I came to overlook you--so singular.”

The idea of that man talking to me like that--after the way he had treated me--put me all on end, as I let him see.

“It is not at all singular. On the contrary, you have always treated me in exactly the same manner. I have sat in the same room with you for hours and hours, and you have paid no more attention to me than if I was an unnecessary piece of furniture. I doubt if you have ever spoken twenty consecutive words to me in your life.”

The wretch was not at all abashed. That afternoon everybody seemed to be incapable of shame--particularly those who ought to have been most keenly alive to it. It is a disagreeable world. Talk about brazen-faced, impudent deceitfulness! I believe that all men are capable of anything; I am convinced they are.

That Hammond creature went blundering on as calmly and easily as if I had not said what ought to have made him writhe.

“Can only assure you that if I haven’t spoken twenty consecutive words to you, I’ll make up for it now--only like to have the chance. Feel I could talk to you for ever--sure I could. Like gloves? Sure to. All girls like gloves--get through lots of them. Here’s a box full; find them rather a decent sort; hope you’ll do me the honour of wearing them.”

He held out to me the parcel of gloves which he had just been announcing, in the presence of us all, that he had bought to pay the debt which he had lost to Eveleen. That did freeze me. I sat up as straight as a beanpole.

“I don’t understand you, Mr Hammond.”

But I did not succeed in freezing him. He indulged in an affable smile, which made him seem all teeth and mouth.

“Quite simple. Hope you’ll permit me to have the pleasure of presenting you with a box of gloves; you’ll find them rippers, got them from a really decent fellow; makes specially for me--sixes.”

“I take sevens.”

“Do you? Glad to hear it. Like a girl to have a good-sized hand. Hate your little namby things, better suited to a doll than to the end of a woman’s arm.” A nice observation to make, considering that both Audrey and Doris were present, and that they are notorious for their tiny hands. But Mr Hammond went unconcernedly on. “If you want a more sensible size you can easily change them, or I will for you. I’ve got a largish hand myself.”

He had. He held out in front of me, with an air of simpering satisfaction, the very largest hand I had ever seen. I wondered what acreage of ground a hand like that might represent. But I did not quite say so.

“I understood you to say that those gloves were to settle a bet which you had lost to Eveleen.”

“That’s all right. You take these--I’ll soon get her some others--don’t you worry about Miss Eveleen.”

“I would rather not take them, thank you.”

“Perhaps you’re right; may as well get a decent size straight away--a larger box--better quality. Got two stalls for the Gaiety to-night; hope you’ll do me the pleasure of occupying one.”

“Do I understand that you are offering me Eveleen’s stall?”

“Much rather you came, if it’s all the same to you. Awfully jolly if you would.”

“I would rather not come, thank you, Mr Hammond.”

Basil Carter came forward. I was really glad of his interference, though I would rather he had been a little more sensible.

“Miss Norah will certainly not come with you, Hammond. And, in order that you may not annoy her with your importunities, perhaps it would be as well that I should tell you at once that to-night, at the Gaiety Theatre, Miss Norah will share my box.”

At once Mr Purchase contradicted him.

“Do you wish to quarrel with me, Basil? Because, if not, I must ask you to refrain from persisting in such statements. Already I have borne them nearly as long as I can. Permit me to inform you, Hammond, that it is my box which will be honoured by Miss Norah’s presence.”

“You haven’t the faintest ground for such an assertion. To begin with, you haven’t a box.”

“I shall have one. And I have this ground, Basil, that the original invitation to Miss Norah came from me.”

“Fiddle-dee-dee!”

Mr Carter snapped his fingers; and they were at it again. Mr Hammond took advantage of their wrangling to press what he appeared to have the audacity to regard as his claims.

“As these gentlemen don’t seem to be able to agree as to whose guest you are going to be, Miss Norah, I vote that you settle the question by becoming mine. It would be splendid fun! First rate! Good stalls--bang in the middle of the second row--better than a box--it would be awfully sporting of you, don’t you know. Say you’ll come! Yes! Do! Be the jolly good sort you look, Miss Norah.”

Since the moment Mr Hammond had planted himself at my side, and commenced to conduct himself in such a peculiar manner, both Audrey and Doris had been speechless. Possibly they felt that the singularity of the general proceedings went beyond the capacity of words. But when that Hammond man--who, although a friend of Eveleen’s, was, to all intents and purposes, a stranger to me--called me “a jolly good sort” to my very face, Audrey burst out laughing, as though the joke had gone past bearing.

“What is the matter with you all?” she cried. “Is this a conspiracy between you three, or have you suddenly gone mad? What is it in Norah that has made her, all at once, such an irresistible object of attention?”

While she was still speaking Eveleen came in. She addressed herself to her.

“So, Eveleen, here you are at last; and it’s quite time you were here. Perhaps you will be able to supply the key to the riddle. Mr Carter and Mr Purchase have given Norah our roses and our seats at the theatre; and now Mr Hammond is endeavouring to induce her to accept your gloves and your stall. If there is a rational explanation of these gentlemen’s behaviour, do, dear, lose no time in finding it.”

Eveleen came forward with a smile, and that little alert air which seems to suggest that there must be quicksilver in her veins.

“What’s the joke? Don’t keep me out of it. How do, Walter?” Their acquaintance had got to the Christian-name stage. Eveleen is a little familiar with her young men; though she encourages them to behave only with the strictest decorum. “You’re looking rather chippy; have you been having too many skittles since I saw you?”

She can be slangy; particularly when she thinks that sort of thing is sympathetic. I fancy she endeavours to adapt the style of her conversation to her company. I am sure that when she has been talking to a parson her language has seemed to reek of the odour of sanctity.

I think she expected him to spring to his feet at sight of her, and burst into a fit of jerky enthusiasm. If she did she was disappointed. He just raised himself an inch or two, and, in an extremely perfunctory fashion, extended to her the extreme tips of his fingers.

“Feeling as fit as a fiddler. Sorry you don’t think I look it.” He turned to me. “Don’t you think I’m looking pretty fit, Miss Norah?”

A slight shade of surprise flitted across her features, as it had done across Doris’ face, and Audrey’s.

“Have you brought me my gloves?”

“Did bring them--rather wanted Miss Norah to have them--seems she takes a decent size--none of your little dollie flippers; so as they’ll fit you, you may as well have them. Here you are. Now we’re straight.”

He thrust the parcel into her hands; she taking it with the expression of surprise growing on her countenance.

“And have you got the stall you promised me?”

He inserted his thumbs in the armholes of his waistcoat, and began to shake himself in the manner which recalled a dog which has just come out of the water. Only he did it in such a very jerky way that one almost expected to hear his joints all cracking.

“Got a stall--had dreadful bother to get one--seems as if everyone wants to go to the place at the same time. If you don’t mind--and it don’t make any difference to you--’pon my word don’t see why it should--had rather Miss Norah went with me.”

“I don’t understand you.”

“I say that unless it upsets you in any way--and I don’t see how it can--sure to find a chap who’ll be only too glad to place a stall at your disposal--lots of chaps about--I’d rather Miss Norah went with me--much rather--really; in fact I’ve asked her.”

She looked at him in a way which I should have thought would have made even such a hardened sinner, as he seemed to be, wince. But he failed to turn a hair.

“Still, I don’t quite understand. Do you mean, Walter, that you have offered my stall to Norah--to my sister Norah?”

“Yes--that’s it--exactly what I do mean. It’s clear enough, don’t you know. Don’t see where the difficulty comes in, ’pon my word. Only I don’t quite see why you should call it _your_ stall, really! I paid for it.”

“You paid for it? I see. And did you offer my gloves--these gloves, to Norah also?”

“That’s all right. I wanted her to have them; but as she has a really decent sort of hand, they’re miles too small for her, so as I know they’ll be all right for you, you may as well have them. Don’t you worry about that a little bit.”

She looked about her with an air of bewilderment as if seeking an explanation from someone, somewhere. Her face had quite altered during the few moments she had been in the room. Even her voice had changed, it seemed to have grown husky. I knew that she was really fond of Mr Hammond. He had been in the habit of prostrating himself in the dust at her feet. It must have been a dreadful wrench to have been spoken to by him like that.

“I suppose that there is a joke somewhere; but I’m so dull that I don’t see where. Norah, has Mr Hammond really done as he says? What have you been doing?”

She favoured me with an accusatory glance, as if I had been guilty of the blackest crimes. Audrey came to my rescue.

“To do her justice, so far as I have seen, Norah has been doing nothing. Norah has been sitting mumchance; scarcely saying boo! to a goose, as if she were on prickles. The men appear to have done all the doing--unless they have been indulging in an elaborate practical joke, at her expense, and ours, which they have already carried too far to be in the best of taste. It may be funny, in its way, which is not a pretty one.”

Eveleen was continuing to glare at me, as if she would have liked her eyes to have scorched my face.

“Are you going with Mr Hammond?”

Mr Carter took upon himself to answer.

“No, Miss Eveleen; Miss Norah is not going with Mr Hammond. Miss Norah is going with me.”

Eveleen looked up at him.

“With you?”

Before he could reply, Mr Purchase interposed:

“Again adventuring, Basil, upon forbidden ground, and, in so doing, conveying a totally wrong impression. Miss Eveleen, Miss Norah will be my guest.”

“Jack, do you wish to tempt me to lose my temper?”

“My dear Basil, let me beg you to remember.”

Mr Hammond reseated himself at my side.

“Since these two chaps do nothing but call each other names!”--they had not called each other a single name up to then; it was only that Mr Hammond has his own way of expressing himself--“supposing we fix it quietly between ourselves. As they can’t hit it off who you’re to go with, don’t you go with either of them--you go with me. That’ll suit me to a T!--down to the ground, Miss Norah! We shan’t quarrel; you can bet your hat on that, and your boots on top of it. We’ll have the best time, Miss Norah, if you’ll take my word for it, that anyone ever did have yet. I’ll do you a treat, on my honour! And if you’ll only say yes, you’ll come, you’ll make me pretty nearly as happy as if I’d won the Derby on my very own horse--you can lay your money on it all the while.”

Mr Carter touched him on the shoulder.

“Surely, Hammond, it cannot be necessary to again ask you to refrain from troubling Miss Norah, who, this evening, will be my guest!”

“But that’s just the point, my dear chap! Will she? Purchase says not.”

“I do say not. And that for the sufficient reason that she will be mine. And that is also a reason, Hammond, why you should not continue your persecution of Miss Norah.”

“There you are--one says one thing, t’other says t’other. What I want to know is, who’s who? which is which? what’s what? Straight tip!--fight it out between yourselves. Leave Miss Norah and I to fix up things between ourselves! There’s a friendly hint for you!”

“Hammond, is it possible that you intend to be impertinent?”

“My dear boy, there isn’t a grain of impertinence in the whole of my constitution, honest Injun! All I ask is--talk sense.”

“The sense of the matter is that Miss Norah will be my guest.”

“Jack, that’s utter nonsense!”

“There you are! there you are! Where are you?”

Eveleen spoke, her words coming from her lips like drops of vitriol.

“Don’t you think, Norah, that you had better favour all three of these gentlemen with your delightful company? It would be so nice--for them, and for you--and it would save further complications.” She turned to Audrey and Doris. “Has it not occurred to you two girls that we are rather in the way?”

Both Audrey and Doris burst out laughing. I do not know what at. There did not seem to be much merriment in their mirth. While they were still making those somewhat discordant sounds, Major Paul Tibbet entered the room.