Part 4

We had a pleasant ride before the dogs took up the scent. Then the chase began. The barking of the dogs was deafening. We finally saw the foxes jumping over the hatches and rainwater barrels. Had a hard time keeping up with the hounds, and I think we would have done better if Yorick had kept out of the way. At last, we treed them in an air funnel. Shem went below and smoked them out, and then we chased them back to their dens. I was sorry I couldn’t get the tails for the ladies. We all had a fine breakfast in the saloon after the hunt.

TUESDAY.

REMARKS:

Stiff today. Guess I had too much exercise yesterday. I’m not as young a man as I was a few centuries ago.—The goose laid an egg. It wasn’t gold. I must have brought the wrong goose.—Tonight we held a parlour entertainment in the _salon_. Ham did some tricks. I never knew he was clever before. He took a rabbit, a gold-fish bowl, a pair of pigeons, two white rats, and a guinea pig out of my top hat. It was most extraordinary. I don’t see why I brought all the animals along if Ham can bring them out of a hat like that.

WEDNESDAY.

REMARKS:

Had a narrow escape today. While I was dusting the cow stable the cow’s husband went for me. I didn’t do anything to make him angry. I was only standing there wiping the perspiration from my forehead with my bandanna. I didn’t study running for nothing when I went to school. He chased me around the boat eleven times before I discovered it was my bandanna that offended him. Wonder if that fool bull thinks I’m going to carry my white Sunday handkerchief on working days?

FRIDAY.

REMARKS:

Began taking soundings today—15 cubits of water.—We are just sailing along in our own sweet way.—Escorted the ladies through the steerage this afternoon.—Judging from the manner the dogs are scratching there must be some baby fleas aboard. Won ship’s pool.

SATURDAY. SOUNDING—14-9/10 cubits.

REMARKS:

One of the sponges was quite ill during the night. I soaked him in some castor oil.—This morning I took a piece of parchment. On it I wrote my name and address and a note asking the fellow who finds it to drop me a line. Put it in a bottle and threw it overboard.—Fourteen more kittens today.—Took my bath.

SUNDAY. SOUNDING—same.

REMARKS:

Today is Easter. Held a special service this morning. Later Mrs. Noah and the girls dressed in their new spring clothes and their new bonnets. Those hats were sights. The ladies marched about the deck, while we males had to admire them as they passed. I must say Mrs. Noah looked a couple of hundred years younger than usual.—She gave me a lecture because I wore my bedroom slippers on deck.—Oh! I’ll be glad to get ashore.

NEXT FRIDAY. SOUNDING—12 cubits.

REMARKS:

Have not written in the log-book for the past week. It’s a nuisance. The company will probably haul me over the coals.—Weather, animals, and family just the same.—Today I thought I would send out a bird to see if there was any land afloat. Tossed up a coin to see whether I would use a red or black raven. Black won. When I opened the window, the raven quoth “never more” and flew away. Expected her back tonight at supper time, but up until now (11.30 P.M.) she has not put in an appearance.—Terribly worried.

SATURDAY.

REMARKS:

Confound that raven. She hasn’t showed up yet. That bird has either found land or she is some flyer.—Put the egg she laid in the incubator.—This afternoon Mrs. Ham told fortunes with cards. Had her tell mine. She said I soon would travel to a strange land, and that I should beware of a tall, striking blonde. She declared I would inherit large tracts of land. She also fortuned I would have family trouble, and that I should curb my passion for beverages. That was a mean fortune, but I don’t take much stock in these soothsayings.—Ham had a worse fortune than mine. According to his wife, he has dark days before him, and he has to travel to a hot country and work like the old Nick.—Took my bath.

SUNDAY. SOUNDING—could not touch bottom with the lead line. We must be over some ocean.

REMARKS:

Services. Ham spilled the collection plate.—I wonder what is keeping that raven?—Guess I should have sent the old cat. They always come back.—Wish it would rain.

MONDAY. SOUNDING—hit ground again—11 cubits.

REMARKS:

No raven!—Today is the 500th anniversary of my marriage. These have been 500 long, long years. That’s quite a while to live with one woman. It’s our radium anniversary. Did not receive any presents.—By this time I know all her faults. My, I’ve learned a lot in these years. I’ve found that Mrs. Noah never makes a mistake, that I am always wrong, and that everything has always been my fault. It’s funny how these women have their own way. Grandpa used to say it was just the same when he was young.—Just to think—everybody who attended our wedding—preacher and all—have passed away.

Mrs. Noah dressed in her wedding gown tonight. It has come into style again. It made me think how crazy I used to be about her. I was a young skylarker then. She used to sing in the temple choir. Tonight she reminded me of a few pet names I used to call her. If what she said was true, I must have been foolish. I had to tell her that I love her more and more as each century rolls by.

SATURDAY. Five days later. SOUNDING—9 cubits.

REMARKS:

The pigeon left on schedule time. I tied a message to her feet giving my name and nautical position. She first tacked a bit to starboard, and then took a crow’s course to land. At 5.32 P.M. she came back with muddy feet and an olive branch in her mouth. Hurrah! the waters are evaporating from off the face of the earth.—I don’t care whether that raven comes back or not. Her egg hatched.—We had fresh olives for supper.—Bath. COURSE—toward that tree.

THE NEXT SATURDAY. SOUNDING—7 cubits. Everything will soon be mud.

REMARKS:

Let the pigeon have another fly. She has either gone with the raven or found another tree. Perhaps someone shot her.—My observations show we are approaching land.—Ham is planning an expedition to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.—The women folks spent most of the day answering their steamer letters, and reading guide-books. I’ve been thinking those Peruvian llamas are going to have a long journey before they get home.—The purser has sold all the postage stamps. The postcards are also having a great sale.—Took a bath.

SUNDAY. SOUNDING—5 cubits.

REMARKS:

Services.—Have been reading about Ararat. It’s a mountain 16,964 feet high. Some authors say there is snow on the top. There must be some mistake because olives don’t grow in snow.—Am not sure of the docking facilities. Ham thinks it would be easier to stop the Ark in the harbour instead of at the regular wharf.—I will be relieved when the cargo pass the quarantine.—Got my money changed by the purser. Now, I have to think about tips.—The women folks are bothering me about the time of landing.—Some queer things are happening on the Ark these days. I see the ladies sewing lace where lace doesn’t belong. Mrs. Noah wants me to wear her necklace day after tomorrow. She never would let me do that before.—Slipped two boxes of cigars in Mrs. Noah’s trunk. No officer will ever think of looking there for them.

MONDAY.

REMARKS:

The ladies are bothering me about the custom regulations, just as though I hadn’t enough troubles of my own.—Spent the morning packing and making out my reports.—Gave the captain’s dinner tonight. It was a swell affair. We all came in our evening robes. Ham drew the menus. We only saved enough food for tomorrow. I opened some of the wine grandpa made. Um!! We drank each others’ health all evening. Japheth made a fine speech in which he congratulated me on the safe passage. He said I was the greatest captain afloat, and that he would tell all his friends about the line. Mrs. Shem spoke for the ladies. She thanked me for the attention I had paid them during the trip. Ham tried to speak, but he forgot it. He upset the flower dish.—In replying I said the passengers were the finest who had ever sailed under me. Then I delivered the regular captain’s address. I thought their expressions might have taken a tangible form, but I was disappointed. We ended by singing, “For he’s a jolly good fellow.” That meant me.—Sighted the Ararat lighthouse.

TUESDAY.

REMARKS:

Passed quarantine at 9.15. At anchor. Ararat just ahead. Fine big mountain, but very muddy.—Saw the raven and the pigeon roosting on the olive tree.—We’re all anxious to get ashore. Guess we will feel the motion of the boat for a few days.—I have decided to retire from the sea, and go in for real estate. Business will be dull for a while, but it will pick up in time.—I’m getting along in years to do this pioneering work, but it must be done. Posterity worries me a great deal. Why should it? What has posterity ever done for me?

The animals are making a lot of noise? They smell the green grass.—The ladies are on deck admiring the rainbow.—We expect to land late this afternoon.—I must stop writing, and get up on the bridge to whistle for the pilot.

Well, if we ever have another flood, I’ll know just what to do.

LAND.