Category: Humour

The Life of Sir John Falstaff

“Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me: The brain of this foolish-compounded clay man, is not able to vent anything that tends to laughter, more than I invent, or is invented on me: I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men.” King Henry, IV.,...

Chapters

1. Part 1

“Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me: The brain of this foolish-compounded clay man, is not able to vent anything that tends to laughter, more than I invent, or is inven...

3. Part 3

A broad, uneven horse-track led from the front gate by a rough wooden bridge over the trout stream, and then wound its way to the right up what had once been Falstaff Chase, kee...

4. Part 4

“My own boy! My brave, wicked boy!” the lady murmured, holding him tightly to her bosom. “God bless thee. God forgive thee! But what is this? Blood? Sir Thomas Mowbray, you prom...

8. Part 8

The enemy retreated, leaving their stores in possession of the victors. The glorious field of Gadshill was unstained by a drop of blood. Nor was there a single prisoner taken. I...

11. Part 11

But no! The penholder of Jones is too much for the grasp of my attenuated fingers. I cannot manage it. I may not attempt to particularise the various fibbings, sloggings, grassi...

20. Part 20

I am aware that, in order to make good my position, I shall be required to prove that Ancient Pistol--a warrior not habitually remarkable for his excellence in any manly or athl...

13. Part 13

Nevertheless, high rank may be claimed for Sir John as a British author--not so much from his actual achievements in the field of letters, as from the fact of his having been on...

12. Part 12

Sir John Falstaff.--Not so, my lord; your ill angel is light; but, I hope, he that looks upon me will take me without weighing: and yet, in some respects, I grant, I cannot go,...

7. Part 7

Formerly this billet system was applied to the mansions of powerful barons. A succession of anti-chivalric monarchs had weakened the hospitable resources of these establishments...

23. Part 23

But of what use was the so-called liberty to Sir John Falstaff? It was, after all, but the liberty which you grant to a gudgeon when you unhook him from the end of your fishing...

5. Part 5

The lists were soon formed and orthodox weapons provided. The combatants took their places. Master Skogan convulsed the bystanders by pretending to be terribly frightened. He sh...

9. Part 9

In order to appreciate fully the position of Sir John Falstaff amid the stirring national events succeeding upon the action of Gadshill, it behoves us to quit, for a while, the...

16. Part 16

* A common expedient resorted to by the consciously guilty in the Trial of Ordeal by Touch; similar to that practised by the ignorant of the present day, who think that by “kiss...

10. Part 10

The departure of the Falstaff troops from the metropolis, though an event, judged by its results, worthy of celebration by the historic pencil, was not, _per se_, one of suffici...

2. Part 2

This Gilbert Falstaff was the tenth in lineal descent from Hundwulf Falstaff, the great Saxon leader who performed such signal service to William Duke of Normandy, on that princ...

15. Part 15

Sir John did not at once march on the Shallow stronghold, on the principle of the “hook-nosed fellow of Rome,” as he pleasantly described his illustrious prototype of antiquity,...

21. Part 21

Pistol (at once discerning that Master Silence is a man who may be safely bullied).--Puff? Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!--Sir John, I am thy Pistol, and thy frie...

14. Part 14

It would betray an ignorance of the times to suppose that our knight belonged to any of those chivalric orders who were bound to celibacy. Such institutions--as far as concerns...

22. Part 22

To Sir John Falstaff it might have been interpreted to signify the cold blasts of adversity, icy ingratitude, flowery visions blown into the air, fair prospects nipped in the bu...

6. Part 6

There could be no harm in Jack’s assuming right of property in the defunct Ballard’s possessions. In the first place, those possessions were no longer particularly worth having....

19. Part 19

“Methinks, in future, I shall call you my cat. For as there be those who insist that I owe my standing as a good citizen and man of wealth to a certain cat which I took with me...

17. Part 17

To return to Master Shallow. Immediately on the receipt of Sir John Falstaff’s letter, he sent messengers to his most influential neighbours, praying them on various pretexts to...

18. Part 18

This capture of Colevile (which, considering Colevile’s alacrity to be caught, I don’t well see how Sir John could have avoided), is, I am happy to say, the only evidence on rec...