The Laird o' Coul's Ghost

Part 2

Chapter 22,010 wordsPublic domain

C. All I desire is, that as you proposed that Sabbath Day, you will go to my wife, who now possesses all my Effects, and tell her the following Particulars, and desire her, in my Name, to rectify these Matters. 1{st} That I was justly owing to Provost Crosby £500 Scots, and three years Interest, but upon hearing of his Death, my good Brother, the Laird of Chapel and I, did forge a Discharge narrating the Date of the Bond, the Sum, and oyr Particulars, with this onerous Clause, that at that Time it was fallen by, and could not be found, with an Obligation on the Provost's Part, to deliver up the Bond assoon as he could hit upon it, and this Discharge was dated three Months before the Provost's Death: and when his only Son and Successor Andrew Crosby wrote to me concerning this Bond, I came to him, and shewed him that Discharge, which silenced him, so that I got my Bond without more adoe. And when I heard of Robert Kennedy's Death, with the same Help of Chapel, I got a Bill upon him, for £190 sterline, which I got full and compleat Payment of, and Chapel got the half. When I was in Dumfries the Day Thomas Greer died, to whom I was owing an account of £36 sterline, Chapel my good Brother at that Time was at London, and not being able of my Self, being but a bad writer to get a Discharge of the account, which I wanted exceedingly, I met accidentally with Robert Boyd a poor Writer Lad in Dumfries. I took him to Mrs Carricks, gave him a Bottle of wine, and told him, that I had payed Thomas Greer's Account, but wanted a Discharge, and if he would help me to it, I would reward him. He flew away from me in great Passion, saying he would rayr be hanged; but, if I had a mind for these Things, I had best wait till Chapel came home. This gave me great Trouble, fearing that what he & I had formerly done, was no Secret. I followed Boyd to the street, made an Apology that I was jesting, commended him for his Honesty, and took him solemnly engaged that he should not repeat what had passed. I sent for my Cousin Barn-howrie your good Brother, who with no Difficulty for one Guinea and an half, undertook and performed all that I wanted, and for one Guinea more, made me up a Discharge for £200 Scots, which I was owing to your Fayr in Law and his friend M{r} Morehead, which Discharge I gave in to John Ewart, when he required the Money, and he, at my Desire, produced it to you, which you sustained. A great many of the like Instances were told, which I cannot remember, the Person's Names, and Sums: But added he, what vexes me more than all these, is the Injustice I did to Homer Maxwell Tenant to Lord Nithsdale for whom I was Factor. I had borrowed 2,000{d} merks from him, 500{d} of which he borrowed from another Hand, and I gave him my Bond; for Reasons I contrived, I obliged him to Secrecy, he dyed within the year, he had nine Children, and his wife had dyed a month before himself. I came to seal up his Papers for my Lord's Security. His eldest Daughter intreated me to look through them all, and to give her an account what was their Stock, and what was their Debt. I very willingly undertook it, and in going through his Papers, I put my own Bond in my Pocket. His circumstances proved bad, and the nine Children are now starving. These Things I desire you to represent to my Wife; take her Brother with you, and let them be immediately rectifyed, for shee has sufficient Fund to do it upon, and, if that were done, I think I would be easie and happy; therefore I hope you will make no Delay.

O. After a short Pause I answered; 'tis a good Errand, Coul, that you are sending me to do Justice to the oppressed and injured; but notwithstanding that I see my Self among the Rest, that come in for £200{d} Scots, yet I beg a little Time to consider on the Matter, and since I find you are as much master of Reason _now_ and more than ever; I'l j{st} reason with you upon the matter in it's general view; and then, w{t} Respect to the Expediency of my being the particular messenger; and this I'le do, w{t} all manner of Frankness. For, from what you have said, I see clearly what your present state is, so that, I need not ask any more Questions upon that Head, and you need not bid me take Courage, or not be afraid, for at this moment, I am no more afraid of you, than of a new born Child.

C. Well, say on.

O. Tell me then, since such is your Agility, that in the twinkling of an Eye, you can fly 1000{d} miles, if your Desire to do Justice to the oppressed Persons be so great as you pretend; what is the Reason, that you do not fly to the Coffers of some rich Jew or Banker, where is thousands of Gold and money, invisibly lift it, and invisibly return it to the Persons injured. Or, since your wife has sufficient Fund and more, why can't you empty her Purse in your Hat invisibly to make the People amends?

C. Because I _cannot_.

O. If these Things were rectified, _you would be easy and happy_. I do not at all credit that; for whatever Justice may now be done to these People, yet the Guilt of the base Action must still belong to you.

C. Now, you think you have silenced me, and gained a notable victory, but, I will shew you your Mistake immediately, for I cannot touch any Man's Gold or Money by Reason of these Spirits, which are the stated Guardians of Justice and Honesty.

O. What is that you tell me, Coul; Do not unworthy Fellows break Houses every Night, and yet you, who can put your Self in 100{d} Shapes in a Moment, cannot do it; what is that you say Coul?

C. 'Tis true, Sir, that among the Living, Men may find some probable way of securing themselves, but, if Spirits departed were allowed, then no Man would be secure, for, in that Case, every Man they had a Prejudice at, would soon be beggared.

O. But might not you go, to the Mines of Mexico, where these little Sums would never be missed?

C. No, for the same Reason.

O. But, Coul there is so much Treasure lost in the Sea, you can easily dive into the Bottom of it, search that, and refund these People their Losses, and thereby no Man is injured.

C. You are a little too forward, and incline much to banter; what I said might satisfie you; but since it does not, I tell you further, that no Spirits, good or bad, have any Power to take any Money or Gold: the Good never do. And the Bad, if once in an Age they do, it is no Small Parcel [so, in the Copy]; for if it were allowed them, then, they would be very successful in their Bussiness, for they would never fail to gain their Point.

O. What hinders them, said I, Coul?

C. Superior Power, that guards & governs all.

O. You have satisfied me entirely upon that Head, said I; but prithee, Coul, what is the Reason, that you cannot go to your Wife yourself, and tell her what you have a Mind to; I should think this a sure way to gain your Point.

C. The Reason is, _because I cannot_.

O. That does not satisfy me Coul.

C. And that is one of the Questions that I told you long ago, I _would not_ answer. But, if you will go, as I desired, I promise I mail give you full satisfaction, after you have done your Bussiness. Trust me for once, and believe me I will not disappoint you.

The Fourth Conference.

Upon the 10{th} of April 1722. coming from old-Camus upon the Post road, I met with Coul as formerly, upon the Head of the Pathe called the _Pease_. He asked me, if I had considered the matter he had recommended? I told him, I had, and was in the same opinion that I was of, when we parted: that I could not possibly undertake his Commission, unless he would give it in Writing under his Hand. I wanted nothing but Reason to determine me, not only in that, but all oyr Affairs of my Life. I added that the List of his Grievances was so long, that I could not possibly remember them w{t}out being in Writing.

I know, said he, that this is a mere Evasion: but tell me, if your Neighbour, the Laird of Thurston will do it? I would gladly wait upon him.

O. I am sure, said I, he will not: and, if he inclined so, I would do what I could to hinder him; for, I think, he has as little Concern in these matters, as I. But tell me, Coul, is it not as easie for you to write your story, as to tell it, or to ride on What is it you call him, for I have forgotten your Horse's Name.

C. No, Sir, 'tis not, and perhaps I may convince you of it afterwards.

O. I would be glad to hear a Reason that is solid, for your not speaking to your Wife your Self. But however, any rational Creature may see, what a Fool I would make of my self, if I should go to Dumfries and tell your Wife, that you had appeared to me, and told me of so many Forgeries and Villanies which you had committed, and that shee behoved to make Reparation. The Event might, perhaps, be, that shee would scold me: for, as 'tis very probable, shee will be loth to part with any money shee possesses, and therefore tell me, I was mad, or possibly might pursue me for Calumny. How could I vindicate my Self, how should I prove, that ever you had spoken with me? M{r} Paton, and the Rest of my Broyrn would tell me, that it was a Devil who had appeared to me, and why should I repeat these Things as Truth, which he that was a Lyar from the Beginning had told me? Chapel and Barn-howrie would be upon my Top, and pursue me before the Commissary, and every Body will look upon me, as brainsick or mad. Therefore, I entreat you, do not insist upon sending me an April-Errand: The Reasonableness of my Demand I leave to your Consideration, as you did your former to mine; for I think what I ask is very just. But dropping these matters till our next Interview; give me leave to enter upon some more diverting Subject; and I do not know, Coul, but thro' the Information given to me, you may do as much Service to Mankind, as the Redress of all the Wrongs, you have mentioned would amount to, &c.

THE END.

_Elliot Stock, Paternoster Row, London._

Footnotes:

[1] The first appearance that Coul made was to Dr. Menzies's Servant at a Time he was watering his Master's Horse. At some subsequent Appearance, while the Lad was about the same Business, whether Coul had done him any real Harm, or, that the Lad had fallen from his Horse thro' Fear and Confusion, is uncertain, but so it was, that the Lad was found Dead on the Road.

[2] A Paith in Scottish signifies a steep, and oft times rugged Road.

Transcriber's Notes:

Passages in italics are indicated by _italics_.

Superscripted letters are shown in {superscript}.