Part 2

_Cel._ And twill be somewhat long ere J be warme in't.

_Ha._ If you vouchsafe me so much honour Madam, That J may waite on you sometimes, J shanot Despaire to see a change. _Cel._ But now J know Your minde, you shall not neede to tell it, when You come agen, J shall remember it.

_Ha._ You make me fortunate. _Enter Steward._

_St._ Madam your kinswomen The Lady _Novice_ and her sister are New lighted from their coach. _Cel._ I did expect e'm, They partly are my pupills, ile attend e'm.

_Ha._ Madam I have beene too great a trespasser Vpon your patience, ile take my leave, You have affaires, and I have some imployment Calls me to Court, I shall present agen A servant to you. _Cel._ Sir you may present, _Exit Ha._ But not give fire I hope, now to the Ladies This recreation's past, the next must be To read to them some Court Philosophie. _Exeunt._

_The second Act._

_Enter sir Thomas Bornewell._

Tis a strange humour I have undertaken To dance, and play, and spend as fast as she does, But I am resolv'd, it may doe good upon her, And fright her into thrift, nay ile endeavour To make her jealous too, if this doe not Allay her gamboling, shee's past a woman And onely a miracle must tame her.

_Enter Steward._

_St._ Tis Mr. _Fredericke_ my Ladies nephew. _Bo._ What of him?

_St._ Is come from the Universitie. _Bo._ By whose directions?

_St._ It seemes my Ladies. _Bo._ Let me speake with him Before he see his Aunt, I doe not like it.

_Enter Mr. Fredericke._

Mr. _Fredericke_ welcome I expected not So soone your presence, what's the hasty cause?

_Fr._ These letters from my Tutor will acquaint you.

_St._ Welcome home sweet Mr. _Fredericke_. _Fr._ Where's my Aunt?

_St._ Shee's busie about her painting, in her closet, The Outlandish man of Art, is copying out Her countenance. _Fr._ She is sitting for her picture.

_St._ Yes sir, and when tis drawne, she will be hang'd Next the French Cardinall in the dining roome, But when she heares you'r come, she will dismisse The Belgicke gentleman to entertaine Your worship. _Fr._ Change of aire has made you witty.

_Bo._ Your Tutor gives you a hansome character _Fredericke_, and is sorry your Aunts pleasure Commands you from your studies, but I hope You have no quarrell to the liberall arts, Learning is an addition beyond Nobilitie of birth, honour of bloud Without the ornament of knowledge is A glorious ignorance.

_Fr._ I never knew more sweet and happy houres Than I emploid upon my bookes, I heard A part of my Philosophy, and was so Delighted with the harmony of nature, I could have wasted my whole life upon't.

_Bo._ Tis pitty a rash indulgence should corrupt So faire a Genius, shee's here, ile observe.

_Enter Aretina. Alexander. Littleworth. Steward._

_Fr._ My most lov'd Aunt. _Are._ Support me, J shall faint.

_Lit._ What ailes your Ladiship? _Are._ Is that _Fredericke_, In blacke. _Alex._ Yes Madam, but the doublets Sattin.

_Are._ The boy's undone. _Fre._ Madam you appeare troubled.

_Are._ Have J not cause? Was not J trusted with Thy education boy, and have they sent thee Home like a very scholler. _Alex._ Twas ill done How ere they usd him in the Vniversitie, To send him to his friends thus. _Fre._ Why sir, blacke (For tis the colour that offends your eyesight) Is not within my reading any blemish, Sables are no disgrace in Heraldry.

_Alex._ Tis comming from the Colledge thus, that makes it Dishonorable, while you ware it for Your father, it was commendable, or were Your Aunt dead, you might mourne and justifie.

_Are._ What lucke I did not send him into France, They would have given him generous education, Taught him another garbe, to weare his locke, And shape, as gawdie as the Summer, how To dance, and wagge his feather ala mode, To complement, and cringe, to talke not modestly Like J forsooth, and no forsooth, to blush And looke so like a Chaplaine, there he might Have learned a brazen confidence, and observ'd So well the custome of the countrey, that He might by this time have invented fashions For us, and beene a benefit to the Kingdome Preserv'd our Tailors in their wits, and sav'd The charge of sending into forraine Courts For pride and anticke fashions, observe, In what a posture he does hold his hat now.

_Fr._ Madam with your pardon, you have practisd Another dialect then was taught me when I was commended to your care and breeding, I understand not this, Latine or Greeke Are more familiar to my apprehension, Logicke was not so hard in my first lectures As your strange language. _Are._ Some strong waters, oh!

_Lit._ Comfits will be as comfortable to your stomacke Madam.

_Are._ I feare hee's spoild forever, he did name Logicke, and may for ought I know be gone So farre to understand it, I did alwayes Suspect they would corrupt him in the Colledge, Will your Greeke sawes and sentences discharge The Mercer, or is Latin a fit language To court a mistresse in? Mr. _Alexander_ If you have any charitie, let me Commend him to your breeding, I suspect I must employ my Doctor first, to purge The Vniversitie that lies in's head It alters his complexion. _Alex._ If you dare Trust me to serve him. _Are._ Mr. _Littleworth_ Be you joynd in commission. _Lit._ I will teach him Postures and rudiments. _Are._ I have no patience To see him in this shape, it turnes my stomacke, When he has cast his Academicke skinne He shall be yours, I am bound in conscience To see him bred, his owne state shall maintaine The change, while hees my Ward, come hither sir.

_Fr._ What does my Aunt meane to doe with me?

_St._ To make you a fine gentleman, and translate you Out of your learned language sir, into The present Goth and Vandall, which is French.

_Bo._ Into what mischiefe wilt this humour ebbe? Shee will undo the boy, I see him ruind, My patience is not manly, but I must Vse stratagem to reduce her, open wayes Give me no hope. _Exit._

_St._ You shall be obey'd Madam. _Exeunt._

_Fr._ Mr. _Steward_, are you sure we doe not dreame? Was't not my Aunt you talkt to. _St._ One that loves you Deare as her life, these cloathes doe not become you, You must have better sir. _Fr._ These are not old.

_St._ More sutable to the towne and time, we keepe No Lent here, nor is't my Ladies pleasure you Should fast from any thing you have a minde to, Vnlesse it be your learning, which she would have you Forget with all convenient speed that may be, For the credit of your noble family. The case is alter'd since we liv'd i'th country, We doe not invite the poore o'th parish To dinner, keepe a table for the tenants, Our kitchen does not smell of beefe, the sellar Defies the price of malt and hops, the footmen And coachdrivers may be drunke like gentlemen With wine, nor will three Fidlers upon holidayes With aid of Bagge pipes, that cald in the countrey To dance, and plough the hall up with their hobnailes, Now make my Lady merry, wee doe feed Like princes, and feast nothing but princes, And are these robes fit to be seene amongst em.

_Fr._ My Lady keepes a court then, is Sir _Thomas_ Affected with this state and cost. _Ste._ He was not, But is converted, and I hope you wo'not Persist in heresie, but take a course Of riot to content your friends, you shall Want nothing, if you can be proud and spend it For my Ladies honour, here are a hundred Peeces, will serve you till you have new clothes, I will present you with a nag of mine Poore tender of my service please you accept, My Ladies smile more than rewards me for it, I must provide fit servants to attend you, Monsieures for horse and foote. _Fr._ I shall submit If this be my Aunts pleasure and be ruld, My eyes are open'd with this purse already, And Sacke will helpe to inspire me, I must spend it.

_St._, What else sir? _Fr._ Ile begin with you, to incourage You, to have still a speciall care of me, There is five peeces, not for your nag.

_St._ No sir, I hope it is not. _Fr._ Buy a Beaver For thy owne blocke, I shall be ruld, who does Command the wineseller? _St._ Who command but you sir?

_Fr._ Ile try to drinke a health or two, my Aunts Or any bodies, and if that foundation Stagger me not too much, I will commence In all the arts of London. _St._ If you finde sir The operation of the wine, exalt Your bloud to the desire of any femall Delight, I know your Aunt wonot deny Any of her chambermaides to practise on, She loves you but too well. _Fr._ I know not how I may be for that exercise, farewell _Aristotle_, Prethee commend me to the Library At Westminster, my bones I bequeath thither, And to the learned wormes that meane to visit 'em, I will compose my selfe, I beginne to thinke I have lost time indeed, come to the wineseller. _Exit._

_Enter Celestina, Mardana, Isabella._

_Ma._ But shall we not Madam expose our selves To censure for this freedome. _Cel._ Let them answer That dare mistake us, shall we be so much Cowards to be frighted from our pleasure, Because men have malitious tongues, and shew What miserable soules they have, no cozen, We hold our life and fortunes, upon no Mans charitie, if they dare shew so little Discretion to traduce our fames, we will Be guilty of so much wit to laugh at em.

_Is._ Tis a becomming fortitude. _Cel._ My starres Are yet kinde to me, for in a happy minute Be't spoke, I'me not in love, and men shall never Make my heart leane with sighing, nor with teares Draw on my eyes the infamie of spectacles, Tis the chiefe principle to keepe your heart Vnder your owne obedience, jeast, but love not, I say my prayers yet, can weare good clothes, And onely satisfie my tailor for em. I wonot lose my priviledge.

_Ma._ And yet they say your entertainments are, Give me your pardon Madam, to proclaime Your selfe a widow, and to get a husband.

_Cel._ As if a Lady of my yeares, some beautie Left by her husband rich, that had mourn'd for him A twelve moneth too, could live so obscure i'th towne That gallants would not know her, and invite Themselves without her chargeable proclamations; Then we are worse than Citizens, no widow Left wealthy can be throughly warme in mourning, But some one noble bloud or lusty kindred Claps in, with his gilt coach, and Flandrian trotters, And hurries her away to be a Countesse. Courtiers have spies, and great ones with lharge titles, Cold in their owne estates, would warme themselves At a rich city bonefire.

_Is._ Most true Madam.

_Cel._ No matter for corruption of the bloud, Some undone Courtier made her husband rich, And this new Lord receives it backe againe. Admit it were my policie, and that My entertainements pointed to acquaint me With many sutors, that I might be safe, And make the best election, could you blame me?

_Ma._ Madam tis wisdome. _Cel._ But I should be In my thoughts miserable to be fond Of leaving the sweet freedome I possesse, And court my selfe into new marriage fetters, I now observe mens severall wits, and windings, And can laugh at their follies. _Ma._ You have given A most ingenious satisfaction.

_Cel._ One thing ile tell you more, and this I give you Worthy your imitation from my practise, You see me merry, full of song and dancing, Pleasant in language, apt to all delights That crowne a publike meeting, but you cannot Accuse me of being prodigall of my favours To any of my guests, I doe not summon By any winke, a gentleman to follow me, To my withdrawing chamber, I heare all Their pleaes in Court, nor can they boast abroad And doe me justice, after a salute They have much conversation with my lippe, I hold the kissing of my hand a courtesie, And he that loves me, must upon the strength Of that, expect till I renew his favour. Some Ladies are so expensive in their graces, To those that honour 'em, and so prodigall That in a little time, they have nothing but The naked sinne left to reward their servants, Whereas a thrift in our rewards, will keepe Men long in their devotion, and preserve Our selves in stocke, to encourage those that honour us.

_Is._ This is an art worthy a Ladies practise.

_Cel._ It takes not from the freedome of our mirth, But seemes to advance it, when we can possesse Our pleasures with security of our honour, And that preservd, I welcome all the joyes My fancy can let in. In this I have given The copie of my minde, nor doe I blush, You understand it. _Enter Celestinaes gentlewoman._

_Is._ You have honord us.

_Gen._ Madam, Sir _William Sentlove_'s come to waite on you.

_Cel._ There's one would be a client, make excuse For a few minuts. _Mar._ One that comes a woing?

_Cel_. Such a thing he would seeme, but in his guiltinesse Of little land, his expectation is not So valiant as it might be, he weares cloathes, And feeds with noblemen, to some I heare No better than a wanton emissarie, Or scout for _Venus_ wild soule, which made tame, He thinkes no shame to stand court centinell, In hope of the reversion. _Mar._ I have heard That some of them are often my Lords tasters, The first fruits they condition for, and will Exact as fees for the promotion.

_Cel._ Let them agree, there's no account shall lie For me among their trafficke.

_Enter Gentlewo._

_Gen._ Mr. _Hairecut_ Madam Is new come in, to tender you his service.

_Cel._ Let him discourse a little with sir _William_. _Exit._

_Ma._ What is this gentleman Mr. _Hairecut_ Madam? I note him very gallant, and much courted By gentlemen of qualitie. _Cel._ I know not More than a trim gay man, he has some great office Sure by his confident behaviour, He would be entertaind under the title Of servant to me, and I must confesse, He is the sweetest of all men that visite me.

_Is._ How meane you Madam?

_Cel._ He is full of powder, He will save much in perfume for my chamber, Were he but constant here; give e'm accesse.

_Enter Sir Will. Sentlove, Mr. Hairecut._

_Sent._ Madam the humblest of your servants is Exalted to a happinesse, if you smile Vpon my visit.

_Ha._ I must begge your charitie Vpon my rudenesse Madam, I shall give That day up lost to any happinesse, When I forget to tender you my service.

_Cel._ You practise Courtship gentlemen. _Sent._ But cannot Find where with more desert to exercise it, What Ladie's this I pray? _Cel._ A kinswoman Of mine sir _William_. _Sent._ I am more her servant.

_Cel._ You came from Court, now I presume. _Ha._ Tis Madam The sphere I move in, and my destinie Was kinde to place me there, where J enjoy All blessings that a mortall can possesse, That lives not in your presence, and J should Fixe my ambition, when you would vouchsafe Me so much honour, to accept from me An humble entertainment there. _Cel._ But by What name shall I be knowne, in what degree Shall J be of kinred to you. _Hair._ How meane you Madam?

_Cel._ Perhaps you'le call me sister, I shall take it A speciall preferment, or it may be J may passe under title of your Mistresse, If I seeme rich, and faire enough, to engage Your confidence to owne me. _Ha._ J would hope.

_Cel._ But tis not come to that yet, you will sir Excuse my mirth.

_Ha._ Sweet Madam. _Cel._ Shall J take Boldnesse to aske what place you hold in Court? Tis an uncivill curiositie, But you'le have mercie to a womans question.

_Ha._ My present condition Madam, carries Honour and profit, though not to be nam'd With that employment J expect i'th state Which shall discharge the first maturitie Vpon your knowledge, untill then I begge You allow a modest silence. _Cel._ I am charmd sir, And if you scape embassador, you cannot Reach a preferment, wherein I'me against you, But where's sir _William Sentlove_?

_Ha._ Give him leave To follow his nose Madam, while he hunts In view, hee'le soone be at a fault. _Cel._ You know him.

_Ha._ Know _Sentlove_? not a page but can decipher him, The waitingwomen know him to a scruple, Hee's cal'd the Blistermaker of the towne.

_Cel._ Whats that?

_Is._ The laundry Ladies can resolve you, And you may guesse, an arrant Epicure As this day lives, borne to a prettie wit, A Knight but no gentleman; J must Be plaine to you, your Ladiship may have Vse of this knowledge, but conceale the author.

_Sen._ J kisse your fairest hand. _Mar._ You make a difference, Pray reconcile e'm to an equall whitenesse.

_Sent._ You wound my meaning Lady.

_Cel._ Nay sir _William_ Has the art of complement. _Sent._ Madam, you honor me 'Bove my desert of language. _Cel._ Will you please To enrich me with your knowledge of that gentleman.

_Sent._ Doe you not know him Madam. _Cel._ What is he?

_Sen._ A Camphire ball, you shall know more hereafter He shall tell you himselfe, and save my character, Till then, you see hee's proud.

_Cel._ One thing gentlemen I observe in your behaviour, which is rare In two that court one mistresse, you preserve A noble friendship, theres no gum within Your hearts, you cannot fret, or shew an envy Of one anothers hope, some would not governe Their passions with that temper. _Sent._ The whole world Shanot divorce our friendship. Mr _Hairecut_ Would I had lives to serve him, he is lost To goodnesse does not honour him. _Ha._ My knight!

_Cel._ This is right playing at Court Shuttlecocke.

_Enter Gentlew._

_Gen._ Madam, there is a gentleman desires To speake w'ee, one sir _Thomas Bornwell_. _Cel._ _Bornewell?_

_Gen._ He sayes he is a stranger to your Ladiship.

_Sen._ I know him. _Haire._ Your neighbour Madam.

_Sen._ Husband to the Lady, that so revells in the strand.

_Ha._ He has good parts they say, but cannot helpe His Ladies bias. _Cel._ They have both much fame Ith towne for severall merits, pray admit him.

_Ha._ What comes he for? _Enter sir Thomas._

_Bo._ Your pardon noble Lady, that I have Presum'd a stranger to your knowledge. _Cel._ Sir, Your worth was here before you, and your person Cannot be here ingratefull. _Bor._ Tis the bounty Of your sweet disposition Madam, make me Your servant lady by her faire example, To favour me--I never knew one turne Her cheeke to a gentleman that came to kisse her But sha'd a stinking breath, your servant gentlemen, _Will Sentlove_ how ist? _Cel._ I am sorry Coze To accuse you, we in nothing more betray Our selves to censure of ridiculous pride, Then answering a faire salute too rudely, Oh it shewes ill upon a gentlewoman Not to returne the modest lip, if she Would have the world beleeve, her breath is not Offensive. _Bor._ Madam, I have businesse With you. _Sent._ His lookes are pleasant. _Cel._ With me sir?

_Bor._ I heare you have an ex'lent wit Madam, I see your faire. _Cel._ The first is but report, And doe not trust your eyesight for the last, Cause I presume y'are mortall and may erre.

_Ha._ He is very gamesome. _Bor._ Y'ave an ex'lent voyce; They say you catcht it from a dying Swan, Which joyn'd to the sweete harmony of your lute, You ravish all mankind. _Cel._ Ravish mankind?

_Bo._ With their consent. _Cel._ It were the stranger rape, But there's the lesse inditement lies against it, And there is hope, your little honesties Cannot be much the worse, for men doe rather Beleeve they had a maiden head, then put Themselves to'th racke of memory, how long Tis since they left the burden of their innocence.

_Bo._ Why you are bitter Madam. _Cel._ So is physicke, I doe not know your constitution.

_Bo._ You shall if please you Madam. _Cel._ Y'are too hasty, I must examine what certificate You have, first to preferre you. _Bo._ Fine! certificate?

_Cel._ Vnder your Ladies hand, and seale. _Bor._ Go to, I see you are a wag. _Cel._ But take heede, how You trust too't. _Bor._ I can love you in my wedlocke, As well as that young gallant, oth first haire, Or the knight Bachelor, and can returne As amorous delight to thy soft bosome.

_Cel._ Your person and your language are both strangers.

_Bo._ But may be more familiar, I have those That dare make affidavit for my body.

_Cel._ D'ee meane your Surgeon? _Bor._ My Surgeon Madam? I know not how you value my abilities, But I dare undertake, as much, to expresse My service to your Ladiship, and with As fierce ambition, fly to your commands, As the most valiant of these, 'lay siege to you.

_Cel._ You dare not sir. _Bor._ How Madam? _Cel._ I will justifi't. You dare not marry me, and I imagine Some here should I consent, would fetch a priest Out of the fire. _Bor._ I have a wife indeede.

_Cel._ And there's a statute not repeald I take it.

_Bor._ Yar'e in the right I must confesse y'ave hit, And bled me in a master veine. _Cel._ You thinke I tooke you on the advantage, use your best Skill at defence, Ile come up to your valour And shew another worke you dare not doe, You dare not sir be vertuous. _Bor._ I dare, By this faire hand I dare, and aske a pardon If my rude words offend thy innocence, Which in a forme so beautifull, would shine To force a blush in them suspected it, And from the rest draw wonder. _Ha._ I like not Their secret parly, shall I interrupt em?

_Is._ By no meanes sir. _Sent._ Sir _Thomas_ was not wont To shew so much a Courtier. _Mar._ He cannot Be prejudiciall to you, suspect not Your owne deserts so much, hee's married.

_Bo._ I have other businesse Madam, you keepe musicke, I came to try how you can dance.

_Cel._ You did? Ile trie his humour out of breath, Although boast no cunning sir in revells, If you desire to shew your art that way, I can waite on you. _Bor._ You much honour me, Nay all must joyne to make a harmony.

_They dance._

_Bor._ I have nothing now, Madam, but to beseech After a pardon for my boldnesse, you Would give occasion to pay my gratitude, I have a house will be much honourd If you vouchsafe your presence, and a wife Desires to present her selfe your servant, I Came with the ambition to invite you, Deny me not, your person you shall trust On faire securitie. _Cel._ Sir, although I use not This freedome with a stranger, you shall have No cause to hold me obstinate. _Bor._ You grace me Sir _William Sentlove_-- _Ha._ I must take my leave, You will excuse me Madam, Court attendances----

_Cel._ By any meanes. _Bor._ Ladies you will vouchsafe Your company. _Is._ M. We waite upon you sir. _Exeunt._

_The third Act._

_Enter Lord unready. Hairecut preparing his Periwigge, Table, and Lookingglasse._

_Lor._ What houre ist? _Ha._ Bout three'a clocke my Lord.

_Bor._ Tis time to rise. _Ha._ Your Lordship went but late To bed last night. _Lor._ Twas early in the morning. _Enter Secre._

_Sec._ Expect a while, my Lord is busie?

_Lor._ Whats the matter? _Sec._ Here is a Lady Desires accesse to you upon some affaires She saies may specially concerne your Lordship.

_Lor._ A Lady? What her name? _Sec._ Madam _Decoy_.

_Lor._ _Decoy?_ prethee admit her. _Enter Decoy._ Have you businesse Madam With me? _Decoy._ And such I hope as will not be Offensive to your Lordship. _Lor._ I pray speake it.

_De._ I would desire your Lordships eare more private.

_Lor._ Waite i'th next chaber till I call, now Madam. _Exeunt._

_De._ Although I am a stranger to your Lordship I wo'd not lose a faire occasion offer'd, To shew how much I honour, and would serve you.

_Lor._ Please you to give me the particular That I may know the extent of my engagement, I am ignorant by what desert you should Be encouragd to have care of me. _De._ My Lord, I will take boldnesse to be plaine, beside Your other excellent parts, you have much fame For your sweet inclination to our sexe.

_Lor._ How dee meane Madam? _Dec._ I'that way your Lordship Hath honorably practisd upon some Not to be nam'd, your noble constancie To a mistresse hath deserv'd our generall vote, And I a part of woman kind have thought How to expresse my duty. _Lor._ In what Madam?