Part 3

Having taken breath, he asked for a ribbon, which he passed over his forehead and round his head, and, bringing the ends in front, knotted it over his nose; then twining it round his fingers in the manner children call a cat’s cradle, he knelt down and peered through it attentively into the mixture, which I imagined at the moment fermented and sent up a blue vapour. After gazing a few seconds in this manner,

“Aha!” said he, “she is not far off that has your butter; bring me a lighted candle,” which on being brought he placed in the plate. “Now,” said he, “both of you kneel down; do as I do, and say as I say, and we’ll have her here directly.”

“No,” said I decidedly, “we will not.”

I thought we had gone far enough, and was convinced that if what we were engaged in was not an unholy act, it was at least a piece of gross deception, and I would not countenance it by any further participation.

“Why,” exclaimed he, “don’t you want to get your butter?”

“Yes,” said I, “I would like to have my butter, but I don’t choose to resort to a charm to obtain it.”

“No doubt this is a charm,” said he, “but it is done in a good name; and I have done it before for as good as ever you were.”

“So much the worse,” I replied; “that holy name should never be profaned in such a manner, and I am sorry any person would be so wicked or so foolish as to encourage you in your tricks. I neither like you nor your proceedings, and the sooner you go about your business the better.”

He started to his feet in a passion, blew out the candle, seized the plate, and attempted to throw the contents into the fireplace; but my wife, who did not wish her hearth to be wet, took it from him and laid it past. He fumed and stormed, said I let him take a great deal of trouble on my account, and insisted on proceeding; but I was determined, and, being considerably chafed and annoyed by the transaction, I again ordered him off, and left him.

In a few moments I heard the noise of a violent altercation and scuffle, and I was loudly called on. I hastened to the scene of contention, and found my wife holding Orohoo by the neck, and preventing his departure. “What’s all this?” I exclaimed. “This fellow,” said she, “when he was going, took a live coal out of the grate, and told me to take care of my children.” This he stiffly denied, until confronted by the servant, and I threatened to give him up to the police as an impostor, when he quailed, and acknowledged that he had said so, but that he meant no harm by it. “And sure,” said he, “there’s no harm in bidding you mind them; for if your cow was hurt, so may your children. You’re not treating me well,” he continued; “I came at the bidding of a friend to do you a good turn, and asked nothing for it, and now you’re putting me out; you’ll be glad to see me yet, though. But take my advice: never throw out your Sunday’s ashes until Tuesday morning, and always sweep your floor in from the door to the hearth.” And away he went.

My heart now beat easy, for I thought we had fairly got rid of the fairy man; but I was to be still further mystified and bewildered. On examining the plate over which he had performed his incantations, we found the contents to be thick, yellow, and slimy, with a red sediment like globules of blood at the bottom. This seemed extraordinary, as I certainly watched him closely, and did not see him put any thing into the plate but milk, water, and salt.

The month now drew near a close, and our bread was still butterless. This often caused the morsel to stick in the throat of my poor dear partner, who felt none of the scruples of conscience with which I was affected, and firmly believed, her cow was bewitched. “Here we are day after day losing, our substance, and might have it only for your squeamishness in not letting the fairy man finish his job.” Thus she would argue, and hesitated not to call me a fool, nay, a downright ass; and indeed my neighbours were much of the same opinion: one of them, a respectable farmer’s wife, was particularly pertinacious. “My Robin,” said she one evening, as they were harping on the old string, “my Robin was down in Sligo, and he heard that if you got the coulter of a plough, and made it red-hot in the fire, while you were churning the butter would come back; or if you chose to churn on Sunday morning before the lark sings, you will surely get it.” “Tempt me no more with your spells or Sabbath-breaking; I will have none of them,” said I, impatiently; “I will never barter my peace of mind for a pound of butter, if I should never eat a morsel.”

But, in truth, my peace of mind was gone, for the continual urging and yammering I was subjected to made me heartily sick, and I inwardly resolved to sell the cow the first opportunity, and so end the matter.

On May eve, in the afternoon, I had occasion to leave home for a short time, and on my return was rather surprised to find all the windows closed and the door locked against me. I knocked and called for admittance, but received no answer; and hearing the noise of churning going on within, “fast and furious,” the truth flashed across my mind; and lamenting my wife’s credulity, I retired to the garden to await the result. In a short time she came running out like one demented, clapping her hands and screaming, “Oh! we’ve got the butter, we’ve got the butter!” and on going in I found a coulter phizzing and sparkling at a white heat in the fire, an ass’s shoe (which had been found a few days previously) under the churn, my worthy neighbour aforesaid standing over it, panting and blowing from the exertions she had made on my behoof, and wiping the dew-drops from her really comely countenance, and in the churn, floating like lumps of gold in a sea of silver, as fine a churning of butter as ever we were blessed with.

Well, I own I was staggered, and being triumphantly asked, “Now, is there no witchcraft or virtue in a red-hot coulter?” I could scarcely muster up courage to utter “No.” In vain I protested the butter came back because “Brownie” got back to her pasture, in consequence of the change in her feeding, from dry fodder to the mellow and genial produce of spring, as the loss at first was owing to the transition from grass to hay. ’Twas to no purpose to argue thus: all else were positive it was otherwise; but whether the virtue was in Orohoo’s incantations, the efficacy of the red-hot coulter, the influence of the ass’s shoe, or the tremendous pommelling the milk was subjected to on the occasion, no one could exactly say.

A few days after, I conversed on the subject with an intelligent person, a herd in charge of an extensive stock farm. After hearing my story to an end, he indulged in a hearty laugh at my expense. “Faith,” said he, “I took you for a sensible man, and did not suppose you would credit such folly.” “I’d as soon believe my mother was a bishop,” said I, “as put any faith in it some time ago. But how can I get over the chain of circumstantial evidence?--not a link of it wanting. First, ‘the Hawk’ coming with her seven-and-sixpenny geese, then the gipsies and the piper, and losing my butter just then.” “’Tis very easy,” said he, “to account for it. In the first place, you took your cow from grass and fed her on hay.” “Yes, but she had plenty of winter cabbage, and we gave her boiled potatoes.” “Just the thing; cabbage is good for plenty of milk, but not for butter. I’ll engage you gave her the potatoes warm.” “Yes.” “And she got a scour?” “Indeed she did, and her hair fell off.” “So I thought. And afterwards she got in good condition?” “Yes.” “Oh! ay, she put her butter on her ribs. Did you kill a pig at Christmas?” “I did.” “Where did you put your bacon in press?” “Why, under the shelf in the dairy.” “Now the murder is out! Never as long as you live put meat, either fresh or salt, near your milk-vessels; if you do, you will surely spoil your milk and lose your butter.” “This may account for my loss, but what have you to say to its coming back?” “Why, what’s to hinder it, when your bacon is in the chimney and your cow at grass?” “But the red blobs in the plate, and Orohoo fighting the devil for me, what do you say to that?” Here he gave way to such a violent fit of laughter that I really thought he would burst the waistband of his doe-skins. “Orohoo! ha! ha!--Orohoo! ha! ha! ha!--the greatest villain that ever breathed. He came to me one time that I had a cow sick, and said she was fairy-smitten, and that he would cure her. He began with his tricks with the milk and water, just the same as he did with you; but I watched him closer; and when I saw the smoke rising out of the plate, I got him by the neck, shook a little bottle of vitriol out of the cuff of his coat, and took a paper of red earthy powder out of his waistcoat pocket.” I looked aghast and confounded. Was I, then, the dupe of the fairy man? The thought was humiliating, and I even wished that I had remained in ignorance, but on reflection had reason to congratulate myself that it was only a temporary lapse, and that I was right in my original opinion, that, except the witchery of a pair of blue languishers, or the fairy spell of a silver-tongued syren, there is now no evil of the kind to be apprehended.

A.

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FASHION IS A POOR VOCATION.--Its creed, that idleness is a privilege, and work a disgrace, is among the deadliest errors. Without depth of thought, or earnestness of feeling, or strength of purpose, living an unreal life, sacrificing substance to show, substituting the fictitious for the natural, mistaking a crowd for society, finding its chief pleasure in ridicule, and exhausting its ingenuity in expedients for killing time, fashion is among the last influences under which a human being who respects himself, or who comprehends the great end of life, would desire to be placed.

THE MAGNETIC POLES.

The unwearied spirit of scientific research which so peculiarly marks the times in which we live, has ascertained the positions of the northern and southern magnetic poles to a degree of almost mathematical precision. This discovery will be hailed with pleasure by every person at all acquainted with the benefits derived to society by the labours of those gifted individuals who have devoted their thoughts more particularly to the study of this most abstruse and mysterious branch of physical knowledge. The position of the northern magnetic pole was determined by Sir John Ross, in his second northern expedition, fitted out at the sole expense of a British merchant, to be in 70 degrees 5 minutes 17 seconds north latitude, and 96 degrees 46 minutes 45 seconds west longitude, near the western coast of the newly discovered tract named, after the individual through whose munificence the boundaries of science have been thus enlarged, Boothia Felix. Its place is now marked on the globes and maps of the world published since the navigator’s announcement of the solution of this long-sought-for problem. The day of the discovery was the 1st of June 1831.

The position of the southern magnetic pole has not yet been ascertained to so great a degree of precision. Excited by a noble spirit of emulation caused by the success of the expedition fitted out by Mr Booth and led by Sir John Ross, three expeditions have been fitted out to complete the solution of the problem--to fix the position of the southern magnetic pole, as that of the northern had been already fixed. The parties in this noble rivalry are Great Britain, France, and the United States. The British magnetic expedition, under Captain James Ross, sailed on the 5th of May for Van Diemen’s Land. The only notices as yet received of its progress are, that soundings were obtained at the depth of 3600 fathoms in the South Atlantic, about 900 miles S.S.W. of St Helena; and again at the depth of 2680 fathoms, at 450 miles west of the Cape of Good Hope. A dispatch from Captain Dumont d’Urville, commandant of the French expedition, to the Minister of the Marine, details all the leading particulars of his voyage, by which it appears that he has nearly though not altogether succeeded in solving this part of the problem. On the 1st of January the expedition sailed from Hobart Town in a southern direction for 1350 miles, and in the latitude of 60 degrees south met with the first island of ice, and shortly afterwards discovered land ranging nearly along the south polar circle, and, as far as the navigator’s observations went, between 136 degrees and 142 degrees east longitude. The appearance was that of an ice-bound, barren coast, wholly unfit for the habitation of man. The snow and ice which covered it gave its surface an almost level appearance. Farther inward nothing was to be perceived but ravines, inlets, and projections, without a trace of vegetation. Whales, large porpoises, fur-seals, albatrosses, and petrels and penguins of different species, were seen near the shore. The commander gave this newly discovered coast the name of Terre Adelie. “This name,” he says in his dispatch, “was intended to perpetuate the remembrance of my profound gratitude for the devoted companion who has three times consented to a long and painful separation, to enable me to achieve my projects of foreign exploration.” On the 1st of February, in 65 degrees 20 minutes south latitude, and 131 degrees east longitude, the expedition crossed the meridian of no variation; and the magnetic observations afforded the means of determining that the position of the magnetic pole must be in the neighbouring land of Adelie itself, or on the compact ice which adjoined it. Having so far succeeded in attaining the main object of his mission, Captain Dumont bade a final adieu to these dreary regions, and steered for Hobart Town, where he arrived on the 17th of February, after an absence of forty-six days, having lost sight of the ice altogether in the parallel of 57 degrees south latitude.

The American expedition, under Captain Wilkes, has been equally successful in discovering the south polar island or continent, for its geographical character has not yet been ascertained. The land was first seen in 64 degrees 50 minutes south latitude, and 154 degrees 18 minutes east longitude, by a singular coincidence precisely on the same day, 19th January, that it had been observed by the French navigator; and Wilkes was enabled to run along the shore, for about 1700 miles, as far as 97 degrees 45 minutes east longitude, so near the land as often to find soundings with a few fathoms of line, and to be able to carry away several valuable geological specimens of the rocks and soil. His description of the appearance of the coast corresponds with that already given.

Whether any immediate beneficial results, practically applicable to the improvement of commerce and colonization, will accrue from these discoveries, may be doubtful, but the experience of the era in which we live forbids us to reject the prospect of ultimate benefits to society from any discovery tending to enlarge the bounds of science, though the means by which they are to be sought for are still out of sight. The discovery of the extensive line of coast ranging nearly along the south polar circle, serves in some degree to realize the conjectures of former geographers, who, observing that by much the greater mass of known land was in the northern hemisphere, laid down the position that there must lie a countervailing quantity of land somewhere in the southern hemisphere; so fully convinced were they of the existence of this fancied continent, that in the maps constructed by Herman Moll and other scientific artists of his time, the coast is laid down in a line nearly corresponding in latitude with that of Terre Adelie, and continued round the globe, so as to represent the whole of the south frigid zone as a continent, on which they inscribe the name of Terra Australia Incognita--the unknown southern region. With those who originated the supposition, this unknown region was a mere creature of the imagination. They were in possession of no facts to prove its reality; yet it is singular that in this, as well as in many other fictions, the ideal creature of the fancy has been discovered to have some foundation in the realities of existence.

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PAYING DOWN UPON THE NAIL.--The origin of this phrase is thus stated in the Recollections of O’Keefe the dramatist:--“During the Limerick assizes I saw a stuffed glove, about four feet long, hanging out from the top of the Exchange, nearly across the main street; this was the accustomed token that for a week or a fortnight, whilst the courts were sitting, no debtor could be arrested. Debtor or creditor, this was a good thing for the theatres, as during that time the city was thronged. An ample piazza under the Exchange was a thoroughfare: in the centre stood a pillar about four feet high, and upon it a circular plate of copper about three feet in diameter; this was called _the nail_, and on it was paid the earnest for any commercial bargains made, which was the origin of the saying, ‘Paid down upon the nail.’” Perhaps, however, the custom was common to other ancient towns.

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GENERAL USE OF TEA IN CHINA.--In China an ardent spirit is made from rice, and called sam-shu, of which punch is made in a coffee-pot, and it is drunk out of China cups; but the natives are not much addicted to its use, a simple infusion of tea being the general beverage of all classes. At all hours of the day the artisan, as he sits at work, has his little tea-pot and miniature cup beside him, out of which he quaffs a little at pleasure, or presents a cup to his visitor. The more refined class make the infusion in cups, in the manner already described. After this process, as nothing is allowed to go to waste in China, the tea-leaves are collected, dried, and rolled up again, and sold to the English and Americans, under the denomination of hyson mun-dun-go; that is, tea having neither taste nor smell. None of this tea is sold in England under its proper name, being for the most part mixed with other kinds, and thus brought into the market. I never saw green tea used in the houses of the natives, or of the Fanqui merchants, where of course the best kinds were to be had. The fact is, the consumption of green tea is for the most part confined to the lower orders and the opium smokers, who require its stimulating effects to settle the disturbed state of their nervous system; and with us it is found to correct the effects of an over-dose of opium--_Dr Fulton’s Travelling Sketches._

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PROGRESSION.--He that is good may hope to become better--he that is bad may fear that he will become worse; for vice, virtue, and time, never stand still.--_Colton._

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“A great lie,” says the poet Crabbe, “is like a great fish on dry land; it may fret and fling, and make a frightful bother, but it cannot hurt you. You have only to keep still, and it will die of itself.”

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