CHAPTER VIII

THE COURTSHIP OF MAN

Speaking of the male and female reproductive cells of plants, Professor Sachs remarks that, wherever we are able to observe an external difference between the two, the male cell behaves actively in the union, the female passively.[917] In this respect there is an analogy between plants and many of the lower animals. In the case of some lowly-organised animals, which are permanently affixed to the same spot, the male element is invariably brought to the female. There are other instances in which the females alone are fixed, and the males must be the seekers. Even when the males and females of a species are both free, it is almost always the males that first approach the females.[918]

As Mr. Darwin points out, we can see the reason why, in the first instance, the male plays the active part:—“Even if the ova were detached before fertilisation, and did not require subsequent nourishment or protection, there would yet be greater difficulty in transporting them than the male element because, being larger than the latter, they are produced in far smaller numbers.”[919] He adds, however, that, with respect to forms of which the progenitors were primordially free, it is difficult to understand why the males should invariably have acquired the habit of approaching the females, instead of being approached by them. Perhaps the explanation may be that the seeker is more exposed to danger than the one sought after, and that the death of a male at the pairing time is less disadvantageous for the existence of the species than the death of a female. At any rate, we may say with Mr. Darwin that it is necessary that the males should be endowed with strong passions in order that they may be efficient seekers; and the acquirement of such passions would naturally follow from the more eager males leaving a larger number of offspring than the less eager.[920]

The rule holds good for the human race, the man generally playing a more active, the woman a more passive, part in courtship. The latter, as it has been said, “requires to be courted.” Yet, curiously enough, there are a few peoples among whom the reverse seems to be the case, just as, among the lower animals also, there are some species of which the females are the courters.[921] Among the Moquis in New Mexico, according to Dr. Broeck, “instead of the swain asking the hand of the fair one, she selects the young man who is to her fancy, and then her father proposes the match to the sire of the lucky youth.”[922] In Paraguay, we are told, the women were generally endowed with stronger passions than the men,[923] and were allowed to make proposals;[924] and among the Garos, according to Colonel Dalton, it is not only the privilege but even the duty of the girl to speak first, any infringement of this rule being summarily and severely punished. “If a male makes advances to a girl,” he says, “and the latter, rejecting them, chooses also to tell her friends that such tenders of affection have been made to her, it is looked on as an insult to the whole ‘mahári’ (motherhood) to which the girl belongs, a stain only to be obliterated by the blood of pigs, and liberal libations of beer at the expense of the ‘mahári’ to which the man belongs.”[925] According to Mr. Batchelor, it constantly occurs among the Ainos that the proposal of marriage comes in the first place from the girl;[926] and in Polynesia,[927] as also among the Kafirs of Natal[928] and certain tribes in Oregon,[929] the same is sometimes the case.

It often happens that the parents of both parties make up the match; and among several peoples the man pays his suit by proxy. But these instances are of no particular importance.

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In most animal species courtship takes place in nearly the same way. During the season of love, the males even of the most timid animals engage in desperate combats with each other for the possession of the female, and she, although comparatively passive, nevertheless often exercises a choice, selecting one of the rivals. This fighting for a female occurs even among insects,[930] and is of universal prevalence in the order of the Vertebrata. We may, with Haeckel, regard it as a modification and a special kind of the struggle for existence.[931]

There can be no doubt that our primeval human ancestors had, in the same way, to combat for their brides. Even now this kind of courtship is far from being unknown. Speaking of the Northern Indians, Hearne states that “it has ever been the custom among those people for the men to wrestle for any woman to whom they are attached; and, of course, the strongest party always carries off the prize. A weak man, unless he be a good hunter and well-beloved, is seldom permitted to keep a wife that a stronger man thinks worth his notice.... This custom prevails throughout all their tribes, and causes a great spirit of emulation among their youth, who are upon all occasions, from their childhood, trying their strength and skill in wrestling.[932] Richardson also saw, more than once, a stronger man assert his right to take the wife of a weaker countryman. “Any one,” he says, “may challenge another to wrestle, and, if he overcomes, may carry off his wife as the prize.... The bereaved husband meets his loss with the resignation which custom prescribes in such a case, and seeks his revenge by taking the wife of another man weaker than himself.”[933] With reference to the Slave Indians, Mr. Hooper says, “If a man desire to despoil his neighbour of his wife, a trial of strength of a curious nature ensues: they seize each other by the hair, which is worn long and flowing, and thus strive for the mastery, until one or another cries _peccavi_. Should the victor be the envious man, he has to pay a certain number of skins for the husband-changing woman.”[934]

Among the Californians also, conflicting claims sometimes arise between two or more men in regard to a woman; and, among the Patwin, it occasionally happened that men who had a quarrel about a woman fought a duel with bows and arrows at long distances.[935] In Mexico, a duel often decided the conflict between two competing suitors.[936] Among the Guanas, according to Azara, the men frequently do not marry till they are twenty years old or more, as before that age they cannot conquer their rivals.[937] Among the Muras, the wives are most commonly gained in a combat with fists between all the lovers of the girl; and the same is the case with the Passés.[938]

Among the Australian aborigines, quarrels are perhaps for the most part occasioned by “the fair sex.”[939] Speaking of the natives near Herbert Vale, Northern Queensland, Herr Lumholtz says that, “if a woman is good-looking, all the men want her, and the one who is most influential, or who is the strongest, is accordingly generally the victor.”[940] Hence, the majority of the young men must wait a long time before they get wives, as they have not the courage to fight the requisite duel for one with an older man.[941] In the tribes of Western Victoria, described by Mr. Dawson, a young chief who cannot get a wife, and falls in love with one belonging to a chief who has more than two, can, with her consent, challenge the husband to single combat, and, if the husband is defeated, the conqueror makes her his legal wife.[942] Narcisse Peltier, who, during seventeen years, was detained by a tribe of Queensland Australians, states that the men “not unfrequently fight with spears for the possession of a woman.”[943]

In New Zealand, if a girl had two suitors with equal pretensions, a kind of “pulling match” was arranged in which the girl’s arms were dragged by each of the suitors in opposite directions, the stronger man being the victor;[944] and, according to the Rev. R. Taylor, there is in the Maori language even a special term for denoting such a struggle.[945] In Samoa, as also in the Fiji Islands, women have always been one of the chief causes of fighting;[946] and of the natives of Makin, of the Kingsmill Group, Mr. Wood assures us that “they have no wars, and very few arms, and seldom quarrel except about their women.”[947]

Among the South African Bushmans, the “stronger man will sometimes take away the wife of the weaker.”[948] The people of Wadaï are notorious for their desperate fights for women; and, among the young men of Baghirmi, bloody feuds between rivals are far from being of rare occurrence.[949]

In the islands outside Kamchatka there prevailed formerly a very curious custom, as reported by Steller. If a husband found that a rival had been with his wife, he would admit that the rival had at least an equal claim to her. “Let us try, then,” he would say, “which of us has the greater right, and shall have her.” After that they would take off their clothes and begin to beat each other’s backs with sticks; and he who first fell to the ground, unable to bear any more blows, lost his right to the woman.[950]

Among the ancient Hindus, says Mr. Samuelson, “it was a custom in royal circles, when a princess became marriageable, for a tournament to be held, and the victor was chosen by the princess as her husband.” This custom was known as the “Swayamvara,” or “Maiden’s Choice,” and it is often mentioned in the ancient legends.[951]

In Greek legends and myths, we meet with several instances of fighting or emulation for women. Pausanias tells us that Danaus established a race for his daughters, and that “he that outran all the rest was to have the first choice, and take her whom he most approved; he that was next in order was to have the second choice, and so on to the last; and those who had no suitors were ordered to wait till new ones came to the course.”[952] According to Pindar, Antæus, father of a fair-haired and greatly-praised daughter, who had many suitors, stationed the whole company of them at the end of the race-course, saying that he should have her for his bride who should prove foremost in the race and first touch her garments.[953] Icarus likewise proposed a race for the suitors of Penelope;[954] and, as Mr. Hamilton remarks, “the triumph of Odysseus over the Suitors is the real end of the Odyssey.”[955]

According to Dr. Krauss, the South Slavonian youths on Palm Sunday, the day for presentiments of love, wrestle with each other, believing that he who proves the stronger will get the prettier wife.[956] Arthur Young informs us of the following strange custom which prevailed in the interior of Ireland in his time:—“There is a very ancient custom here,” he says, “for a number of country neighbours among the poor people to fix upon some young woman that ought, as they think, to be married; they also agree upon a young fellow as a proper husband for her; this determined, they send to the fair one’s cabin to inform her that on the Sunday following ‘she is to be horsed,’ that is, carried on men’s backs. She must then provide whisky and cider for a treat, as all will pay her a visit after mass for a hurling match. As soon as she is horsed the hurling begins, in which the young fellow appointed for her husband has the eyes of all the company fixed on him: if he comes off conqueror, he is certainly married to the girl; but if another is victorious, he as certainly loses her, for she is the prize of the victor.... Sometimes one barony hurls against another, but a marriageable girl is always the prize.”[957]

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The sexual struggle in the animal kingdom is not always of a violent kind. As Mr. Darwin has pointed out, males often try by peaceful emulation to charm the female. In many species of birds the male seems to endeavour to gain his bride by displaying his colours and ornaments before her, or exciting her by his love-notes, songs, and antics. But among the lower Mammals he wins her, apparently, much more through the law of battle than through the display of his charms.[958] There can scarcely be any doubt that the same was the case with primitive men; but we need not mount many steps of human progress to find that courtship involves something more than a mere act of strength or courage on the part of the male. It is not only in civilized countries that it often means a prolonged making of love to the woman. Mariner’s words with reference to the women of Tonga hold true for a great many, not to say all, savage and barbarous races now existing. “It must not be supposed,” he says, “that these women are always easily won; the greatest attentions and most fervent solicitations are sometimes requisite, even though there be no other lover in the way. This happens sometimes from a spirit of coquetry, at other times from a dislike to the party, &c.”[959]

Though generally playing the less active part in courtship, the woman does not by any means indulge in complete passivity. Mr. Hooper tells us that, among the Indians at James’s Bay, “two young Indian women were observed some years ago in violent conflict.... After a lengthened and determined struggle the weakest succumbed to the superior prowess of her fortunate adversary. It appeared that these girls were in love with the same man, and had self-instituted this mode of deciding their claims.”[960] Among the Wintun of California, according to Mr. Powers, when any man other than a chief attempts to introduce into his wigwam a second partner of his bosom, the two women dispute for the supremacy, often in a desperate pitched battle with sharp stones; “they maul each other’s faces with savage violence, and if one is knocked down her friends assist her to regain her feet, and the brutal combat is renewed until one or the other is driven from the wigwam.”[961] Peltier states that, in the Australian tribe already referred to, the women, of whom from two to five commonly belong to each man, fight among themselves about him, “their weapons being heavy staves, with which they beat one another about the head till the blood flows.”[962] In the Kingsmill Islands, women sometimes, from jealousy, carry a small weapon, watching an opportunity of making an attack upon their rivals, desperate fights being the consequence;[963] and, among the Kamchadales also, the females are said to have fought for the males.[964] But far more commonly women try to secure men’s love by coquetry or the display of their charms. Finally, whilst the men are generally the courters, the women may in many, perhaps most cases, accept or refuse their proposals at pleasure.

The next chapter will be devoted to an account of some of the most common means by which the sexes endeavour, or formerly endeavoured, to make themselves attractive to one another, and to stimulate each other’s passions. Then we shall see how far woman has the liberty of disposing of her own hand, and, at the same time, note cases in which the man also, with regard to his marriage, has to submit to some other’s will.