SCENE II.

_The Drawing Room._

_MISS ALTON, alone._

_Miss Alton._ What perplexing scenes I already meet with in this house? I ought, however, to be contented in the security it affords against the attempts of Heartly. I am contented--But, O Clifford! It was hard to be left alone to the choice of distresses.

_Enter CHIGNON, introducing LADY EMILY._

_Chignon._ My Lady Emily Gayville--Madame no here! Mademoiselle, announce, if you please, my lady.

_Lady E._ [_Aside._] Did my ears deceive me? surely I heard the name of Clifford--and it escaped in an accent!--Pray, sir, who is that?

[_To CHIGNON._

_Chignon._ Mademoiselle Alton, confidante of my lady, and next after me in her suite.

[_Examines her Head Dress impertinently. MISS ALTON with great modesty rises and puts her Work together._

_Lady E._ There seems to be considerable difference in the decorum of her attendants. You need not stay, sir.

_Chignon._ [_As he goes out._] Ma foi, sa tete est passable--her head may pass.

_Lady E._ [_Aside._] How my heart beats with curiosity! [_MISS ALTON having disposed her things in her Work Bag, is retiring with a Courtesy._] Miss Alton, I am in no haste. On the contrary, I think the occasion fortunate that allows me to begin an acquaintance with a person of so amiable an appearance. I don't know whether that pert foreigner has led me into an error--but without being too inquisitive, may I ask if you make any part of this family?

_Miss Alton._ Madam, I am under Miss Alscrip's protection: I imagine I am represented as her dependent: I am not ashamed of humble circumstances, that are not the consequences of indiscretion.

_Lady E._ That with such claims to respect you should be in any circumstances of humiliation, is a disgrace to the age we live in.

_Miss Alton._ Madam, my humiliation (if such it be) is just. Perhaps I have been too proud, and my heart required this self-correction. A life of retired industry might have been more pleasing to me; but an orphan--a stranger--ignorant and diffident, I preferred my present situation, as one less exposed to misrepresentation. [_Bell rings._] I can no longer detain Miss Alscrip from the honour of receiving your ladyship.

[_A respectful Courtesy, and exit._

_Lady E._ There is something strangely mysterious and affecting in all this----what delicacy of sentiment--what softness of manners! and how well do these qualities accord with that sigh for Clifford! she has been proud--proud of what?--of Clifford's love. It is too plain. But then to account for her present condition?--He has betrayed and abandoned her--too plain again, I fear.--She talked too of a self-corrected heart--take example, Emily, and recall thine from an object, which it ought more than ever to renounce. But here come the Alscrip and her friend: lud! lud! lud! how shall I recover my spirits! I must attempt it, and if I lose my present thoughts in a trial of extravagance, be it of theirs or my own, it will be a happy expedient.

_Enter MISS ALSCRIP and MRS. BLANDISH._

[_MISS ALSCRIP runs up to LADY EMILY and kisses her Forehead._

_Lady E._ I ask your pardon, madam, for being so awkward, but I confess I did not expect so elevated a salute.

_Miss Als._ Dear Lady Emily, I had no notion of its not being universal. In France, the touch of the lips, just between the eyebrows, has been adopted for years.

_Lady E._ I perfectly acknowledge the propriety of the custom. It is almost the only spot of the face where the touch would not risk a confusion of complexions.

_Miss Als._ He! he! he! what a pretty thought!

_Mrs. Blandish._ How I have longed for this day!--Come, let me put an end to ceremony, and join the hands of the sweetest pair that ever nature and fortune marked for connexion.

[_Joins their Hands._

_Miss Als._ Thank you, my good Blandish, though I was determined to break the ice, Lady Emily, in the first place I met you. But you were not at Lady Dovecourt's last night.

_Lady E._ [_Affectedly._] No, I went home directly from the Opera: projected the revival of a cap: read a page in the trials of Temper; went to bed and dreamed I was Belinda in the Rape of the Lock.

_Mrs. Blandish._ Elegant creature!

_Miss Als._ [_Aside._] I must have that air, if I die for it. [_Imitating._] I too came home early; supped with my old gentleman; made him explain my marriage articles, dower, and heirs entail; read a page in a trial of divorce, and dreamed of a rose-colour equipage, with emblems, of Cupids issuing out of coronets.

_Mrs. Blandish._ Oh, you sweet twins of perfection----what equality in every thing! I have thought of a name for you--The Inseparable Inimitables.

_Miss Als._ I declare I shall like it exceedingly--one sees so few uncopied originals--the thing I cannot bear--

_Lady E._ Is vulgar imitation--I must catch the words from your mouth, to show you how we agree.

_Miss Als._ Exactly. Not that one wishes to be without affectation.

_Lady E._ Oh! mercy forbid!

_Miss Als._ But to catch a manner, and weave it, as I may say, into one's own originality.

_Mrs. Blandish._ Pretty! pretty!

_Lady E._ That's the art--Lord, if one lived entirely upon one's own whims, who would not be run out in a twelvemonth?

_Miss Als._ Dear Lady Emily, don't you dote upon folly?

_Lady E._ To ecstacy. I only despair of seeing it well kept up.

_Miss Als._ I flatter myself there is no great danger of that.

_Lady E._ You are mistaken. We have, 'tis true, some examples of the extravaganza in high life, that no other country can match; but withal, many a false sister, that starts as one would think, in the very heyday of the fantastic, yet comes to a stand-still in the midst of the course.

_Mrs. Blandish._ Poor, spiritless creatures!

_Lady E._ Do you know there is more than one duchess who has been seen in the same carriage with her husband--like two doves in a basket, in the print of Conjugal Felicity; and another has been detected--I almost blush to name it--

_Mrs. Blandish._ Bless us! where? and how? and how?

_Lady E._ In nursing her own child!

_Miss Als._ Oh! barbarism!----For heaven's sake let us change the subject. You were mentioning a revived cap, Lady Emily; any thing of the Henry Quatre?

_Lady E._ Quite different. An English mob under the chin, and artless ringlets, in natural colour, that shall restore an admiration for Prior's Nut-brown Maid.

_Miss Als._ Horrid! shocking!

_Lady E._ Absolutely necessary. To be different from the rest of the world, we must now revert to nature: Make haste, or you have so much to undo, you will be left behind.

_Miss Als._ I dare say so. But who can vulgarize all at once? What will the French say?

_Lady E._ Oh, we shall have a new treaty for the interchange of fashions and follies, and then say, they will complain, as they do of other treaties, that we out manufactured them.

_Miss Als._ Fashions and follies! O what a charming contention!

_Lady E._ Yes, and one, thank Heaven, so perfectly well understood on both sides, that no counter declaration will be wanted to explain it.

_Miss Als._ [_With an affected drop of her Lip in her Laugh._] He! he! he! he! he! he!

_Lady E._ My dear Miss Alscrip, what are you doing? I must correct you as I love you. Sure you must have observed the drop of the under lip is exploded since Lady Simpermode broke a tooth--[_Sets her Mouth affectedly._]--I am preparing the cast of the lips for the ensuing winter----thus--It is to be called the Paphian mimp.

_Miss Als._ [_Imitating._] I swear I think it pretty--I must try to get it.

_Lady E._ Nothing so easy. It is done by one cabalistical word, like a metamorphosis in the fairy tales. You have only, when before your glass, to keep pronouncing to yourself nimini-pimini--the lips cannot fail taking their plie.

_Miss Als._ Nimini--pimini--imini, mimini--oh, it's delightfully infantine--and so innocent, to be kissing one's own lips.

_Lady E._ You have it to a charm--does it not become her infinitely, Mrs. Blandish?

_Mrs. Blandish._ Our friend's features must succeed in every grace! but never so much as in a quick change of extremes.

_Enter SERVANT._

_Serv._ Madam, Lord Gayville desires to know if you are at home?

_Miss Als._ A strange formality!

_Lady E._ [_Aside._] No brother ever came more opportunely to a sister's relief, "I have fooled it to the top of my bent."

_Miss Als._ Desire Miss Alton to come to me. [_Exit SERVANT._] Lady Emily, you must not blame me; I am supporting the cause of our sex, and must punish a lover for some late inattentions--I shall not see him.

_Lady E._ Oh cruel!

[_Sees MISS ALTON._

_Enter MISS ALTON._

Miss Alscrip, you have certainly the most elegant companion in the world.

_Miss Als._ Dear, do you think so? an ungain, dull sort of a body, in my mind; but we'll try her in the present business. Miss Alton, you must do me a favour.--I want to plague my husband that is to be--you must take my part--you must double me like a second actress at Paris, when the first has the vapours.

_Miss Alton._ Really, madam, the task you would impose upon me--

_Miss Als._ Will be a great improvement to you, and quite right for me.--Don't be grave, Lady Emily--[_Whose attention is fixed on MISS ALTON._] Your brother's penance shall be short, and I'll take the reconciliation scene upon myself.

_Lady E._ [_Endeavouring to recover herself._] I cannot but pity him; especially as I am sure, that do what you will, he will always regard you with the same eyes. And so, my sweet sister, I leave him to your mercy, and to that of your representative, whose disposition, if I have any judgment, is ill suited to a task of severity.

_Mrs. Blandish._ Dear Lady Emily, carry me away with you. When a lover is coming, it shall never be said I am in the way.

_Lady E._ [_Looking at MISS ALTON.--Aside._] What a painful suspense am I to suffer? another instant, and I shall betray myself--adieu, Miss Alscrip.

_Miss Als._ Call Lady Emily's servants.

_Lady E._ You sha'n't stir--remember nimini primini. I am at your orders.

[_Exit._

_Mrs. Blandish._ I follow you, my sweet volatile. [_Coming back, and squeezing MISS ALSCRIP's Hand, in a half whisper._] She'd give her eyes, to be like you.

[_Exit._

_Miss Als._ Now for it, Miss Alton--Only remember that you are doubling me, the woman he adores.

_Miss Alton._ Indeed, madam, I am quite incapable of executing your orders to your satisfaction. The utmost I can undertake is a short message.

_Miss Als._ Never fear. [_Knock at the Door._] There he comes--Step aside, and I'll give you your very words.

[_Exeunt._

_Enter LORD GAYVILLE, conducted by a SERVANT._

_Lord G._ So, now to get thorough this piece of drudgery. There's a meanness in my proceeding, and my compunction is just. Oh, the dear, lost possessor of my heart; lost, irrecoverably lost!

_Enter MISS ALTON, from the Bottom of the Scene._

_Miss Alton._ A pretty employment I am sent upon!

_Lord G._ [_To himself._] Could she but know the sacrifice I am ready to make!

_Miss Alton._ [_To herself._] The very picture of a lover, if absence of mind marks one. It is unpleasant for me to interrupt a man I never saw, but I shall deliver my message very concisely.--My lord----

_Lord G._ [_Turning._] Madam. [_Both start and stand in surprise._] Astonishment! Miss Alton! my charming fugitive?

_Miss Alton._ How, Mr. Heartly--Lord Gayville!

_Lord G._ My joy and my surprise are alike unutterable. But I conjure you, madam, tell me by what strange circumstance do I meet you here?

_Miss Alton._ [_Aside._] Now assist me, honest pride! assist me, resentment.

_Lord G._ You spoke to me--Did you know me?

_Miss Alton._ No otherwise, my lord, than as Miss Alscrip's lover. I had a message from her to your lordship.

_Lord G._ For Heaven's sake, madam, in what capacity?

_Miss Alton._ In one, my lord, not very much above the class of a servant.

_Lord G._ Impossible, sure! It is to place the brilliant below the foil--to make the inimitable work of nature secondary to art and defect.

_Miss Alton._ It is to take refuge in a situation that offers me security against suspicious obligation; against vile design; against the attempts of a seducer--It is to exercise the patience, that the will, and perhaps the favour, of Heaven meant to try.

_Lord G._ Cruel, cruel to yourself and me--Could I have had a happiness like that of assisting you against the injustice of fortune--and when to be thus degraded was the alternative?--

_Miss Alton._ My lord, it is fit I should be explicit. Reflect upon the language you have held to me; view the character in which you present yourself to this family; and then pronounce in whose breast we must look for a sense of degradation.

_Lord G._ In mine, and mine alone. I confess it--Hear nevertheless my defence--My actions are all the result of love. And culpable as I may seem, my conscience does not reproach me with----

_Miss Alton._ Oh, my lord, I readily believe you--You are above its reproaches--qualities, that are infamous and fatal, in one class of life, create applause and conscientious satisfaction in another.

_Lord G._ Infamous and fatal qualities! What means my lovely accuser?

_Miss Alton._ That to steal or stab is death in common life: but when one of your lordship's degree sets his hard heart upon the destruction of a woman, how glorious is his success! How consummate his triumph, when he can follow the theft of her affections by the murder of her honour.

_Enter MISS ALSCRIP softly behind._

_Miss Als._ I wonder how it goes on.

_Lord G._ Exalted! Adorable woman!

_Miss Als._ Adorable! Ay, I thought how 'twould be!

_Lord G._ Hear me! I conjure you--

_Miss Als._ Not a word, if she knows her business.

_Miss Alton._ My lord! I have heard too much.

_Miss Als._ Brava. I could not have played it better myself.

_Lord G._ Oh! Still more charming than severe.

[_Kneels._

_Miss Als._ Humph! I hope he means me, though.

_Lord G._ The character in which you see me here makes me appear more odious to myself, if possible, than I am to you.

_Miss Als._ [_Behind._] By all that's treacherous I doubt it.

_Miss Alton._ Desist, my lord----Miss Alscrip has a claim.----

_Miss Als._ Ay, now for it.

_Lord G._ By Heaven, she is my aversion. It is my family, on whom I am dependent, that has betrayed me into these cursed addresses.--Accept my contrition--pity a wretch struggling with the complicated torments of passion, shame, penitence and despair.

_Miss Als._ [_Comes forward--all stand confused._] I never saw a part better doubled in my life!

_Lord G._ Confusion! What a light do I appear in to them both! How shall I redeem myself, even in my own opinion?

_Miss Als._ [_Looking at LORD GAYVILLE._] Expressive dignity!--[_Looking at MISS ALTON._] Sweet simplicity! Amiable diffidence!----"She should execute my commands most awkwardly."

_Lord G._ [_Aside._] There is but one way.--[_To MISS ALSCRIP._] Madam, your sudden entrance has effected a discovery which with shame I confess ought to have been made before--The lady, who stands there, is in possession of my heart. If it is a crime to adore her, I am the most guilty wretch on earth--Pardon me if you can; my sincerity is painful to me--But in this crisis it is the only atonement I can offer.

[_Bows and exit._

_Miss Als._ [_After a Pause._] Admirable!--Perfect! The most finished declaration, I am convinced, that ever was made from beggarly nobility to the woman that was to make his fortune--the lady, who stands there--the lady--Madam--I am in patient expectation for the sincerity of your ladyship's atonement.

_Miss Alton._ I am confounded at the strange occurrences that have happened; but be assured you see in me an innocent and most unwilling rival.

_Miss Als._ Rival! better and better!--You--you give me uneasiness? You moppet--you coquet of the side table to catch the gawkey heir of the family, when he comes from school at Christmas--You--you you vile seducer of my good old honoured father; [_Cries--In a passion again._] What, is my lady dumb? Hussy? Have you the insolence to hold your tongue?

_Miss Alton._ Madam, I just now offered to justify this scene; I thought it the part of duty to myself, and respect to you. But your behaviour has now left but one sentiment upon my mind.

_Miss Als._ And what is that, madam?

_Miss Alton._ [_With pointed expression._] Scorn.

[_Exit._

_Miss Als._ Was there ever any thing like this before?--and to a woman of my fortune?--I to be robbed of a lover--and that a poor lord too--I'll have the act revived against witchcraft; I'll have the minx tried--I'll--I'll--I'll----

[_Exit._