CHAPTER XI

IDEALISM AND REALISM

(1871)

When John again reached his parents' house, he felt himself in shelter like one who has reached land after a stormy sea-passage by night. Again he had quiet nights in his old tent-bed in the brothers' room. Here were quiet patient men, who came and went, worked and slept at stated times without being disturbed by dreams or ambitious designs. His sisters had grown up into young women and managed the house. All were at work with the exception of himself. When he compared his irregular, dissipated life, which knew no rest or peace, with theirs, he considered them happier and better than himself. They took life seriously, went about their work and fulfilled their duties without noise or boasting.

John now looked up his old acquaintances among the tradespeople, clerks, and sea-captains, and found intercourse with them novel and refreshing. They led his thoughts back to reality and he felt firm ground once more under his feet. At the same time he began to despise false ideality, and saw that it was vulgar of the students to look down on the "Philistines."

He now confessed quite simply and openly to his father, but without remorse, the wretched life he had led at Upsala, and begged him to let him stay at home and prepare for his examination there,--otherwise he would be lost. His father granted permission, and now John prepared his plan of campaign for the spring term. In the first place he meant to take lessons in Latin composition with a good teacher in Stockholm, and then go up in spring, and pass the examination. Furthermore he would write his disquisition for a certificate in æsthetics and prepare for the examination in that subject. With these resolutions he began a quiet and industrious manner of life with the new year.

But the failure of his play the _Free-thinker_ still weighed upon his mind, and the questions of his friends as to whether they should soon see something new from him, stirred him up to re-write, in the form of a one-act play, the drama he had burnt. He finished it, and then continued his studies.

Shortly before April he wrote a test-composition for his teacher, who declared that he would pass. His father did not disapprove of his plan when he heard that John felt quite confident, but he suggested that it would be more practical if he conformed to custom and wrote exercises for the Upsala professor. "No," said John, "it was now a question of principle and a matter of honour." So he went to Upsala.

He called on the professor on his at-home day and waited till his turn for an interview. When the latter saw him, he grew red in the face and asked:

"Are you here again?"

"Yes."

"What do you want?"

"I want to go in for the Latin Composition examination."

"Without having written a test-composition?"

"I have done that in Stockholm--and I only want to ask whether the statutes allow me to go up for the examination."

"The statutes? Ask the dean about that; I only know what I require."

John went straight to the dean, who was a young, lively and sympathetic man. John made known his purpose and described what had passed.

"Yes," said the dean, "the statutes say nothing about the matter, but old P. can pluck you without their help."

"Well, we shall see. Will you allow me, Mr. Dean, to go up for the written examination, that is the question?"

"Yes, I can't refuse that. You mean then to have your own way?"

"Yes, I do."

"Arc you so sure about the matter?"

"Yes."

"Very well! Good luck to you!" said the Dean, and clapped him on the shoulder.

So John went up for the examination and after a week received a telegram to say that he had passed. Some ascribed this result to the professor's generosity and disapproved of John's rebellious procedure; but John considered his success due to his own diligence and knowledge, although he could not deny that the professor had acted honourably in not plucking him when he had the power to do so.

The examination in æsthetics was fixed for May. Contrary to all usage John sent his disquisition by post to Upsala with the written request that he might stand for the examination.

His essay was entitled "Hakon Jarl," and treated of Idealism and Realism. Its object was firstly to convince the professor that the writer was well-read in æsthetics and particularly in Danish literature, and secondly, to clear up to the writer himself his own point of view. The essay, in imitation of Kierkegaard, was in the form of a correspondence between A and B, criticising Oehlenschläger's _Hakon Jarl_ and Kierkegaard's _Either--Or_.

At the appointed time John appeared before the professor, who had the reputation of being liberal-minded, but felt at once that he had no sympathy with him. With an almost contemptuous air the professor handed him back his essay and declared that it was best suited for the female readers of the _Illustrated News_. He further stated that Danish literature was not a subject of sufficient importance to be taken up as a special branch of study.

John felt annoyed, and asserted that Danish literature had greater interest for Sweden than Boileau and Malesherbes, for example, on whom students wrote essays.

His examination then began and took the form of a violent argument. It was continued in the afternoon and ended by the professor giving him a certificate which was not so good as he had hoped, and telling him that university studies could only be properly carried on at the university. John replied that æsthetic studies could be best carried on at Stockholm where one had the National Museum, Library, Theatre, Academy of Music and Artists.

"No," said the professor, "that is nonsense; one ought to study here."

John let fall some remarks on college lectures, and they parted, not as particularly good friends.