Chapter 2

"'Get under the barn! Get under the barn!' Mr. Turkey screamed, and Mr. Rooster shouted while he went across the yard as fast as his legs could carry him:

"'Give me a little time, and I'll win the race; but he's dangerously near.'

"Well, Mr. Rooster got under the barn nearly a minute before the man did, and there he stayed, paying no attention to the coaxing or threats, and, finally, discouraged and with his coat torn in two places, the man went into the house to tell his visitors that he couldn't have company to dinner that day.

"When he had got inside the house Mr. Rooster crept out from under the barn, and crowed up to Mr. Turkey: 'Do you-think-he's-gone-for goo-o-o-d?'

"And the suspicious Mr. Turkey gobbled back:

"'Doubtful! Doubtful! Doubtful! Doubtful!'

"That Mr. Rooster had a good deal more sense than our Mr. Dorking, who made such a fool of himself last summer. It isn't much of a story; but it shows how silly some people are," and once more Mrs. Goose looked at Mr. Gander.

WHEN THE ROOSTER FOUND THE MOON.

"I would like very much to hear the story," your Aunt Amy said, and she spoke the truth, for thus far Mrs. Goose had been most entertaining.

"It's kind of you to say so," Mrs. Goose replied with a smirk. "If I keep on at this rate you'll think I like to talk as well as Mamma Speckle does; but I've heard of you so often from our people around here, that it seemed as if I must have a whole lot of stories to tell, else you'd say I wasn't much of anybody after all. But about Mr. Dorking Rooster: it seems that one night he couldn't sleep, on account of having eaten too much, and for the first time in his life he saw the moon and the stars.

"The next day, when he was going across the front yard, he saw one of those large rubber balls, painted in bright colors, such as Mr. Man's children use to play with in the house, and after looking it over carefully he decided that he knew what it was.

"'This must be the moon I saw last night,' he said to himself; 'but it don't seem to shine as it did then. Perhaps it doesn't give out any light till after sunset, so I'll wait till then to see it.'

"So Mr. Dorking sat down and waited. The sun set, and black clouds covered the sky, but, yet the ball did not shine. All the other chickens had gone to roost hours before; but Mr. Dorking kept on watching. It began to rain; the lightning flashed and the thunder rolled. The rooster was wet to the skin, and terribly frightened.

"'I'll save the moon,' he cried, and picking up the ball in his beak, which wasn't an easy task, he ran as fast as he could to the hen-house; but when he got there the storm had cleared away. Looking up, Mr. Dorking saw the moon in the sky, and throwing the ball into the house, he cried out to his wife:

"'What kind of a thing is this, anyway? I've been lugging it around for an hour or more, and now there's another moon come to take its place.'

"'Come straight up here to your roost, you foolish old thing.' Mrs. Dorking said angrily. 'If you had half as much sense as Mr. Monkey, you could have taken the children and me on a picnic, instead of fooling your time away with a rubber ball.'

"What did she mean by 'having as much sense as Mr. Monkey,'" your Aunt Amy asked, and Mrs. Goose replied:

WHEN MRS. MONKEY WAS DISSATISFIED.

"Oh, it was an idea she got from some of Mr. Crow's poetry. All the fowls on our farm have laughed at it time and time again. This is the way it goes:

Said old Mrs. Monk one morning, "Look at me. I am tired of living in this cocoa tree, You have got to go to work and rent a flat, For I'll not live in this manner, mind you that."

Then when Mister Monkey heard all that she said, He thought of many trades, and scratched his head What on earth could monkeys do to bring in gold So a loving monkey wifey wouldn't scold?

Now what do you suppose the Monkey did? Do you think he climbed the cocoa tree and hid? No; upon a jungle trolley he is there Hanging by his legs and tail collecting fare."

Mrs. Goose would have been blind if she had not seen that your Aunt Amy thought the jingle was very foolish, and she hastened to say:

HOW BUNNY RABBIT FOOLED GRANDFATHER STORK.

"I guess you think the same as does Grandfather Stork about some of Mr. Crow's verses. He says that nobody but foolish geese would listen to them, and yet there isn't anybody around here who doesn't like them. Grandfather Stork don't know everything there is to be learned in this world, else Mr. Bunny Rabbit couldn't have fooled him the way he did."

"I have never heard that Mr. Bunny Rabbit fooled Grandfather Stork," your Aunt Amy said, and Mrs. Goose almost laughed when she replied:

"Then you haven't seen the old fellow lately, for he spends all his time running around the neighborhood telling of it. He thinks he was very smart, and I'm not saying but that it was more than one would have expected of him, for Mr. Bunny Rabbit isn't the wisest animal living near the pond, by a good deal. Poor old Grandfather Stork was the most harmless bird that ever lived. He had carried babies from one place to another till he was all worn out, and hadn't more than six feathers left on his head.

"He hadn't a tooth to his bill, and seemed to have forgotten how to hunt for his dinner, so one day when he met Bunny Rabbit, he said to him as polite as could be:

"'Good morning, Mr. Rabbit. Can you tell me where I'll find two or three fat fish near about here?'

"Bunny scratched his nose as if he was doing a terrible lot of thinking, and then said, solemn as ever was Squire Owl:

"'Why, of course, Mr. Stork, and I always like to help a neighbor along. But times have changed since you were a young fellow. Then you had to catch your own fish, or go without; but now the law is that after a bird has stood on one foot half an hour, two fish jump down his throat, and three more go the same way at the end of an hour. Mr. Robin Red-Breast forgot all about the new law the other day, and, because his left foot was sore, he stood on the right one till two big pickerel made a leap for his mouth. Either of them was seven times as big as he is, and it's a wonder he wasn't killed.'

"'Dear me, is that so, Mr. Rabbit? Now I really can't catch fish as I used to; but it comes quite natural for me to stand on one foot. I'll try to do you a favor some day, Mr. Rabbit.'

"Then Grandfather Stork stood up in the sun waiting for the fish to jump down his throat, and Bunny Rabbit ran off into the bushes, laughing till there was danger of splitting his sides; but he didn't keep it up very long, for just then down swooped Mr. Hawk, and Bunny Rabbit came very near taking an excursion in the air.

"As it was, Mr. Hawk dug a great hole in his back, and nipped off a piece of his tail, before Bunny could get under a wild-rose bush where he was safe. It was Mr. Crow who told Grandfather Stork that he had been fooled, and the poor old fellow looked so sorrowful when he hobbled away without having had any dinner, that I made up my mind I never would try to play such kind of jokes."

"And you are right, Mrs. Goose," your Aunt Amy said decidedly. "It is a very foolish practice, and often causes much trouble. Now Bunny Rabbit really told Mr. Stork a lie, even if it was in sport, and we all know how wrong that is."

At this moment Mr. Grander came up, and when Mrs. Goose asked how he felt, he said:

"I'm better, thank you. That frog was tough, and, to make matters worse, I accidentally swallowed his hat."

"You were in too much of a hurry, Mr. Gander," Mrs. Goose said sharply. "Perhaps you was afraid you might be asked to share him with some other goose."

"Well, there! I never stopped to think that you might like a piece," Mr. Gander said, as if he felt terribly sorry because of having been so selfish. "I'll spend all day to-morrow hunting for Mr. Frog's brother, and if I catch the fellow, you shall have the whole of him."

"I'll hunt for my own frogs, thank you," Mrs. Goose replied as she straightened herself up angrily. "I never yet have asked others to find food for me, and I hope I don't live simply for the sake of eating, as does Mrs. Wild Goose, who visited us not long ago."

Mr. Gander gazed at Mrs. Gray Goose sadly; but she refused even to look at him, and after a time he waddled slowly away, stopping now and then to snap at a grasshopper that jumped over his head.

MRS. WILD GOOSE'S VISIT.

"What about Mrs. Wild Goose making you a visit?" Aunt Amy asked, when she and the gray goose were alone once more.

"It isn't what you might really call a story," Mrs. Goose replied. "I only spoke of it to remind Mr. Gander how he himself talked about those who think only of what can be eaten. Not more than a month ago Mrs. Wild Goose flew down into our yard, and one would have thought that she owned the entire farm, to hear her talk.

"'This seems to be quite a comfortable place,' she said, walking around and poking her bill into every corner before she had spoken to any of us. 'I have seen better yards, of course; but a goose who has traveled as much as I have, learns to make the best of everything. It looks as if Mr. Man gave you all you wanted to eat.'

"'So he does,' Mr. Dorking Rooster said, and we have nothing to do but enjoy ourselves.'

"'Indeed!' Mrs. Wild Goose cried. 'Then I'll stay right here. The doctor says I mustn't move around very much, and the climate seems to agree with me.'

"Well, she was the greediest goose I ever saw. She would gobble up fully half of all the food that was brought into the yard, before one of us had time to swallow a single mouthful, and it did seem as if she couldn't get enough. Even Mr. Gander, who has just shown how greedy he can be, said that it really made him feel faint to see her show of gluttony.

"When Mrs. Wild Goose had been with us about two weeks, Betty, the housemaid, came into the yard with a cloth over her head, and a big apron on. All of us who lived there knew what it meant, and ran for dear life, with Mrs. Wild Goose at our heels, as she shrieked:

"'What is she going to do?'

"'She's going to pull out our feathers with which to stuff pillows and beds for Mr. Man to sleep on,' Mr. Gander said.

"Dear me, dear me, I never will put up with such treatment as that! I only came here for a change of air and food, and couldn't think of parting with my feathers!'

"Then, without stopping to thank us for the pleasant visit, off she flew to find another place where she could make a glutton of herself without having to pay or work. Some birds seem to think, as did Mrs. Pea-Hen, that they have nothing to do in this world but enjoy themselves; but I've lived long enough to know that we must do our full share of the work, if we want to take part in the play."

"What did Mrs. Pea-Hen believe," your Aunt Amy asked, and Mrs. Gray Goose replied:

WHEN MRS. PEA-HEN ABANDONED THE ORPHANS.

"She always has looked, and always will look first after her own comfort or pleasure, no matter how much others may suffer. Any other bird on this farm would have been so ashamed, after doing what Mrs. Pea-Hen has, that she'd never hold up her head again, and what I'm going to tell you isn't the first selfish thing she has done.

"About four weeks ago Mrs. Pea-Hen made a great fuss over wanting to bring up a family, and began to set on anything and everything she could find that looked like an egg. Well, Mr. Man made a nice nest for her, and put in it thirteen white eggs. No hen could have asked for a better place in which to show what she was able to do, and whenever any of us went to call on her, Mrs. Pea-Hen had a great deal to say about what she would do when her family came out of the shells.

"I can't deny but that she sat there faithfully, and took proper care of the eggs, and, of course, out came thirteen as pretty little chickens as you could want to see. Mrs. Pea-Hen seemed to be real proud because she had so many babies, and after the last one was hatched she called all of them out for a walk.

"They came from the nest with considerable noise, such as all youngsters make, and no sooner did she hear the first peep than Mrs. Pea-Hen turned around like a flash, looking at first one and then another until she had seen the whole brood.

"'Why, they are nothing but ordinary chickens!' she cried, and off she walked, paying no heed to the poor little things when they called after her for something to eat.

"'Are you going away and leave those dear little babies with no one to care for them?' Mamma Speckle asked angrily, and Mrs. Pea-Hen replied, as if to say she didn't allow any one to meddle with her family affairs:

"'Of course I am! Do you suppose a fowl of my standing in society would spend her time looking after a lot of common chickens?'

"'But they'll starve to death!' Mamma Speckle cried, as if she was almost heart-broken.

"'That's no concern of mine. Mr. Man made me believe they were my own eggs, else I'd never sat on them a single hour,' Mrs. Pea-Hen said, as she kept on walking away with never a look at the poor little babies, and Mamma Speckle called after her:

"'You was so crazy to set that you would have tried to hatch out a nest full of stones, if you couldn't have found anything better!'

"Mrs. Pea-Hen tried to act as if she didn't hear what Mamma Speckle said; but she couldn't help it, for you know how loud the speckled hen talks. She never paid any attention to the babies, though, and the other fowls took care of them as best they could with babies of their own."

ALICE QUESTIONS MR. TURTLE.

"Say, of course you know a good deal more than any bird or animal on this farm, and I do wish you would tell me how long Mr. Turtle has lived?"

That was a question which your Aunt Amy could not answer, and when she said as much, Mrs. Goose continued:

"He claims to be very, very old, and to hear the stories he tells you'd think he had lived in every part of the world. He started a kind of a show last week, and calls it a 'zoo,' whatever that may be. A lot of birds and animals sit around to show themselves, and say it is a 'wonderful exhibition.' Mr. Man's little girl Alice was out walking with her doll yesterday, and saw Mr. Turtle near the old maple tree selling tickets for the 'zoo.' This is what Mr. Crow declares she said to the old fellow:

"They tell me, Mr. Turtle, you Were born long years ago-- Five hundred years, the doctor says, And doctors ought to know.

"He says that every year you live A scientist can tell Because each birthday leaves a mark Upon your rusty shell.

"I've lots and lots of questions, then, To ask if you're so old, And if you will not answer them, Please do not think me bold.

"In fourteen ninety-two, when Chris Columbus westward sailed, When he discovered Yankeeland, Was he, then, later jailed?

"Did Shakespeare write those dramas old, Or did Lord Bacon's pen? When Joan rambled in Lorraine, Were you out crawling then?

"You must have known the virgin queen, And known Sir Walter, too; You've heard that story of the ring, What really did she do?

"Did Pocahontas save the life Of Captain Smith that day? Did Cromwell take the reins of State, As all the school-books say?

"Did Washington cut down the tree That time in early May, And say 'I cannot tell a lie?' Now answer me I pray."

The Turtle only looked around, And winked a lazy wink; He seemed to say, "Don't bother me; It hurts my brain to think."

"Why is it that all of you who live near here, like Mr. Crow's poetry so well?" your Aunt Amy asked, when Mrs. Goose had come to an end of the lines, and she replied thoughtfully:

"Well, really now, I can't say. Perhaps it's because he tells us it is the best ever written. Why, I've even heard old Mr. Turtle repeating the verses, and if he has lived five hundred years, surely he ought to know whether they are good or bad. There's one thing I do know, though, which is, that there's no person within two miles of this pond that can tell as many good stories as Mr. Crow. He's got one about a lazy Mr. Horse that means a good deal, if you take the trouble to think it over. Don't you want to hear it?"

Your Aunt Amy really enjoys hearing Mr. Crow's stories, and when she made such a statement, Mrs. Goose began the tale without delay.

THE LAZY MR. HORSE.

"'I don't see why I should work all the time, and others have nothing whatever to do,' said lazy Mr. Horse, one day. 'I would like to live a life of idleness as well as they.'

"Then he began to think it over, and decided to find some way to get rid of hauling the farm wagon day after day. It wasn't easy to do this, but after a time he hit upon a plan which seemed to be a good one. "'I'll make believe that I am sick,' he said, 'and then my master won't call on me for work.'

"So he hung his head, leaned against the side of the stall, and tried to look as if it hurt him to breathe. When his master came into the stable, he said:

"'Hello, what can be the matter with this horse? He was well when I fed him yesterday; but now he seems to be nearly dead.'

"Then the master went out of the stable, and Mr. Horse said to himself with a grin:

"'He has gone to get some medicine for me! The plan seems to be working well.'

"Soon the master came back, and with him was a great big black man, who carried an axe over his shoulder.

"'That horse is very sick,' said the master.

"'He certainly is,' replied the man with the axe.

"'And there's only one thing to be done,' said the master.

"'Only one thing,' added the man with the axe.

"'Well, Jim,' said the master, 'hit him squarely between the eyes, and as hard as you can, for I don't want him flopping all around the place before he dies.'

"'All right, sir,' answered the man, as he raised the axe.

"By that time Mr. Horse began to suspect that his plan wasn't working as he thought it would, so he pricked up his ears, kicked up his heels, and tried to look as if there never had been anything the matter with him.

"'That horse has gone crazy,' the master cried.

"'He has indeed,' replied the man with the axe.

"'We'll have to kill him anyway,' said the master. 'Hit him quick before he tears down the stable!'

"The man with the axe hit Mr. Horse one blow, and that settled the question, of his ever hauling the farm-wagon again. Surely he made a fool of himself while trying to deceive others, and if the Goose family had been punished as hard, there wouldn't be one of us alive to-day."

"What do you mean by that?" your Aunt Amy asked in surprise, and Mrs. Gray Goose replied softly, as if afraid others might hear her words:

WHEN THE GEESE CLAIMED TO BE CRANES.

"This is a story we geese don't often tell, and if Mr. Crow should get hold of it everybody around here would know how foolish some of our grandparents were. Our family prides itself on having saved Rome once upon a time, and it would never do to let people know how silly a few of us have been since then. Of course you won't whisper it to Bunny Rabbit, or old Mr. Turtle!

"One day a flock of geese, who had never seen a crane, were feeding in the meadow when two strangers came up, and asked the way to the nearest pond. They were fine-looking birds, and acted like strangers in our part of the country; besides, they didn't speak exactly as we do.

"The leader of the flock was an old, bald-headed gander, who believed he knew more than all the rest of the world put together, so when the strangers asked the question, some of the geese wanted to know how they should answer.

"'They look to be birds of importance,' Mr. Gander said, 'and may think we are of little account if we show ourselves willing to talk with strangers, so the best way is to hold our tongues. When the proper time comes I will show them that we are no fools.'

"So all the geese held their tongues, while Mr. Gander stood back a little and looked wise. Then the strangers asked the question again, without paying any attention to the inquisitive geese who were staring at them from head to foot. This time Mr. Gander thought he might venture to speak, and he said, talking way down in his throat as he had heard Mr. Man:

"'The nearest pond is our private property, and we do not care to have strangers there until we know if they are birds of quality.'

"'Indeed, sir,' one of the strangers said. 'May I ask whether you are any one in particular?'

"'We are Cranes,' Mr. Gander replied, 'and when I tell you so you will understand that we like to be by ourselves.'

"The strangers looked at each other in surprise a moment, and stepped back as if not knowing what to do, which made old Mr. Gander think he was wise in claiming to be something better than a common goose. Finally one of the visitors asked:

"'Are all the cranes in this country like you?'

"'Why shouldn't they be?' Mr. Gander said gruffly.

"'There is no reason that we know of, being strangers here; but the fact is that we also are cranes, who have just come over from Africa, as you can tell by our black faces, and it surprises us to find such a different looking family here.'

"Just then two real cranes, who had been feeding on the shore of the pond, rose in the air, and, seeing the strangers, one of them cried:

"'Hello, brothers, why are you spending your time with those silly geese? Come over to the pond where you'll find decent company!'

"The cranes from Africa didn't stay with the geese any longer, and, of course, they told what old Mr. Gander had said. Since that time the cranes and the swans won't let one of our family come anywhere near them, even though the swans are our cousins, and all because that foolish old Mr. Gander was willing to tell a lie in order to make it appear that he was more important in the world than a common goose. I have no patience with a bird who is always trying to make himself out a little better than he really is. It's behavior that counts in this world, and whether you come from one family or another, you'll be treated well if you deserve it."

"You are right, Mrs. Goose," your Aunt Amy said decidedly. "Be contented in this world, and you are well off indeed."

"So Mr. Pig thought," Mrs. Goose replied with a laugh. "If Mr. Man had been satisfied with a little, Mr. Pig would most likely have been killed."

WHEN MR. PIG DIDN'T GO TO MARKET.

"Tell me the story," your Aunt Amy said, knowing very well that Mrs. Goose had one in mind, as indeed she had, for she told it as follows:

"One day Mr. Man was taking Mr. Pig to market, when they came to a tree on which hung hundreds and hundreds of apples.

"'I'd like to have an apple,' Mr. Pig said, as he looked up wistfully.

"'I'd like to have a whole barrel,' Mr. Man cried greedily.

"A little further down the road they saw a pear tree.

"'I'd like to have a pear,' said the hungry Mr. Pig.

"'I'd like to have a wagon-load of pears,' Mr. Man added.

"Presently they saw a grape-vine, and Mr. Pig sighed:

"'I'd like to have a bunch of grapes.'

"'I'd like to have a wine-press full of them,' Mr. Man said.

"The two walked on until they came to a field filled with ripe melons.

"'Oh, how I wish I had one of those,' Mr. Pig whispered, and Mr. Man growled:

"'I'd like to have a car-load.'

"'Look here, Mr. Man,' Mr. Pig cried, 'you're more of a hog than I am, and I think we're at the wrong ends of this rope.'