Chapter 2
_A charming room in the Tillmans' house. The walls are white woodwork, framing in old tapestries of deep foliage design, with here and there a flaming flamingo; white furniture with old, green brocade cushions. The room is in the purest Louis XVI. The noon sunlight streams through a window on the left. On the opposite side is a door to the hall. At back double doors open into a corridor which leads to the ballroom. At left centre are double doors to the front hall. A great, luxurious sofa is at the left, with chairs sociably near it, and on the other side of the room a table has chairs grouped about it. On floral small table are books and objets d'art, and everywhere there is a profusion of white roses and maidenhair fern._
_In the stage directions Left and Right mean Left and Right of actor, as he faces audience._
_Three smart-looking SERVANTS are peering through the crack of the folding door, their backs to the audience. The pretty, slender MAID is on a chair. The elderly BUTLER dignifiedly stands on the floor. The plump, overfed little HOUSEMAID is kneeling so as to see beneath the head of the BUTLER._
HOUSEMAID. [_Gasping._] Oh, ain't it a beautiful sight!
BUTLER. [_Pompously._] Not to me who 'ave seen a Lord married in Hengland.
MAGGIE. Oh, you make me sick, Mr. Potts, always talking of your English Aristocracy! I'm sure there never was no prettier wedding than this. Nor as pretty a bride as Miss Jinny.
BUTLER. [_Correcting her._] Mrs. Haustin!
HOUSEMAID. She looks for all the world like one of them frosted angels on a Christmas card. My, I wish I could 'a' seen her go up the aisle with the organ going for all it was worth!
MAGGIE. It was a _beautiful_ sight!
BUTLER. A good many 'appens to be 'aving the sense to be going now.
HOUSEMAID. Could you hear Miss Jinny say "I do," and make them other remarks?
MAGGIE. Yes, _plain_, though her voice was trembly like. But Mr. Austin he almost shouted!
[_Laughing nervously in excitement._
BUTLER. 'E's glad to get 'er!
MAGGIE. _And her him!_
HOUSEMAID. Yes, that's what I likes about it. Did any one cry?
MAGGIE. Mrs. Tillman. Lots of people are going now.
HOUSEMAID. What elegant clothes! Oh, gosh!
BUTLER. [_Superciliously._] Mrs. Cullingham don't seem in no 'urry; she's a common lot!
MAGGIE. I don't care, she's rich and Miss Jinny likes her; she just throws money around to any poor person or church or hospital that wants it, or _don't_! So she can't be so _very common_ neither, Mr. Potts!
HOUSEMAID. Say, I catch on to something! Young Mr. Tillman's sweet on that there tall bridesmaid.
MAGGIE. [_Sharply._] Who?
BUTLER. Miss Chester. I've seen there was something goin' hon between them whenever she's dined or lunched 'ere.
MAGGIE. [_Angry._] 'Tain't true!
BUTLER. I'll bet my month's wages.
MAGGIE. I don't believe you!
BUTLER. Why, what's it to _you_, please?
MAGGIE. [_Saving herself._] Nothing--
HOUSEMAID. Well, I guess it's truth enough. That's the second time I've seen him squeeze her hand when no one wasn't lookin'.
MAGGIE. Here, change places with me! [_Getting down from her chair._] If you was a gentleman, Mr. Potts, you'd have given me _your place_!
[_Witheringly._
BUTLER. If I was a _gentleman_, miss, I wouldn't be here; _I'd_ be on the other side of the door.
[_He moves the chairs away._
MAGGIE. [_To Housemaid._] Honest, you saw something between them?
HOUSEMAID. Who?
MAGGIE. Him and her? Mr. Geoffrey and Miss Chester--
HOUSEMAID. _Cheese it!_ they're coming this way!
[_She and the MAID and the BUTLER vanish through the door Right._
[_GEOFFREY and RUTH enter through the double doors quickly at back. GEOFFREY is a young, good-looking man, but with a weak face. He is of course very smartly dressed. RUTH is a very serenely beautiful girl, rather noble in type, but unconscious and unpretending in manner. They close the doors quickly behind them._
GEOFFREY. We'll not be interrupted here, and I must have a few words with you before you go.
[_He follows her to the sofa where she sits, and leans over it, with his arm about her shoulder._
RUTH. Oh, Geof,--Geof, why weren't we married like this?
GEOFFREY. It couldn't be helped, darling!
RUTH. It isn't the big wedding I miss, oh, no, it's only it seemed sweeter in a church. Why did we have to steal off to Brooklyn, to that poor, strange little preacher in his stuffy back parlour, and behave as if we were doing something of which we were ashamed?
GEOFFREY. You love me, I love you,--isn't that the chief thing, dearest?
RUTH. But how much longer must we keep it secret?
GEOFFREY. Till I can straighten my affairs out. I can't explain it all to you; there are terrible debts,--one more than all the others,--a debt I made when I was in college.
RUTH. If I could only help you! I have a _little_ money.
GEOFFREY. No, I love you too much; besides, this debt isn't _money_, and I hope to get rid of it somehow before long.
RUTH. Forgive me for worrying you. It is only that every one is so happy at this wedding except me,--dear Jinny brimming over with joy, as I would be,--and it's made me feel--a little--
GEOFFREY. [_Comes around the sofa and sits beside her._] I know, dear, and it's made me feel what a brute I am! Oh, if you knew how I hate myself for all I've done, and for the pain and trouble I cause you now!
[_MAGGIE, her sharp features set tense, appears in the doorway on the left behind the curtains and listens._
RUTH. Never mind, we won't think of that any more.
GEOFFREY. I can never throw it off, not for a minute! I'm a worthless fellow and how can you love me--
RUTH. [_Interrupting him._] I _do_! You are worth everything to me, and you will be worth much to the world yet!
GEOFFREY. I love you, Ruth--that's the one claim I can make to deserve you. But it's helped me to give up _all_ the beastly pleasures I used to indulge in!
RUTH. [_Softly._] Geof!
GEOFFREY. Which I used to think the only things worth living for, and which now, thanks to you, I loathe,--every one of them.
RUTH. I'm so glad! I've been some help, then.
GEOFFREY. If I'd only got you earlier, I'd have been a different man, Ruth!
RUTH. [_Smiling and taking his nervous hand in hers._] Then I mightn't have fallen in love with you if you were a _different_ man!
GEOFFREY. Dear girl! Anyway, this is the good news that I want to tell you--I hope now to have things settled in a couple of weeks.
RUTH. [_In glad relief._] Geoffrey!
GEOFFREY. But--I mayn't be successful; it might be, Ruth--it might be, we would have to wait--for years--
RUTH. [_Quietly._] I don't think I could bear that! It's not easy for me to lie and deceive as I've had to the last few months; I don't think I could keep it up.
[_PETER CULLINGHAM enters suddenly, from the ballroom, a pale young man, but, unlike GEOFFREY, hard and virile._
PETER. Oh, here you are! I say, are you two spoony? Just the way _I_ feel! [_Laughing._] I caught and hugged old Mrs. Parmby just now! I think it's sort of in the air at weddings, don't you?
GEOFFREY. [_Rising._] I'm surprised to see you've left the refreshment table, Peter.
PETER. They sent me to find Miss Chester--they're going to cut the bridesmaid's cake, and if you two really are spoony, Miss Chester, you'd better not miss it--you might get the ring!
[_They laugh as PETER takes out a bottle from which he takes a round, black tablet which he puts in his mouth._
RUTH. [_Also rising._] I'd better go.
[_PETER is making frantic efforts to swallow the tablet._
GEOFFREY. [_Noticing him._] What's the matter with you?
PETER. O dear! I've eaten so many ices and fancy cakes, I've got awful indigestion, and I'm trying to swallow a charcoal tablet.
RUTH. Come with me and get a glass of water.
PETER. No, it's very bad to drink water with your meals; but I'll get a piece of bridesmaid's cake--that'll push it down!
[_PETER and RUTH go out through the double doors._
[_The moment they are out of the room, MAGGIE comes from behind the curtain and goes straight up to GEOFFREY. He looks astonished and frightened._
GEOFFREY. What do you want? Have you been listening?
MAGGIE. So that's it, is it? You want to marry her when you can get rid of me.
GEOFFREY. [_With relief._] What do you mean?
MAGGIE. Oh, I may not have heard everything, but I heard and saw enough to catch on that you're in love with Miss Chester.
GEOFFREY. Well?
MAGGIE. Well, you won't marry her--I'll never set you free.
GEOFFREY. Sh!
[_Looking about and closing the doors._
MAGGIE. Oh, they're all in the dining room.
GEOFFREY. [_Angry._] What do you want, anyway?
MAGGIE. [_She pleads a little._] When I came here to your house and got a position, it was because I _loved_ you, if you _had_ treated me bad, and I hoped by seeing you again, and being near you, you might come back to me and everything be made straight!
GEOFFREY. Never! Never! It's impossible.
MAGGIE. [_Angry again._] Oh, is it! Well, the dirty little money you give me now only holds my tongue quiet so long's you behave yourself and don't run after any other girls! But the minute you try to throw me down, I'll come out with the whole story.
GEOFFREY. I was drunk when I married you!
MAGGIE. More shame to you!
GEOFFREY. You're right. But I was only twenty--and you--led me on--
MAGGIE. [_Interrupting him._] Me! led you on! _me_, as decent and nice a girl as there was in New Haven if I do do housework, and that's my wedding ring and you put it there, and mother's got the certificate locked up good and safe in her box with my dead baby sister's hair and the silver plate off my father's coffin!
GEOFFREY. We mustn't talk here any more!
MAGGIE. You look out! If I wasn't so fond of your sister Miss Jinny, and if the old people weren't so good to me, I'd just show you right up _here_--_now_!
GEOFFREY. I'll _buy_ you off if I can't divorce you!
MAGGIE. _You!_ Poof!
[_GIRLS' voices are heard from the ballroom._
GEOFFREY. Look out--some one's coming!
MAGGIE. [_Going._] You haven't got a red cent; my cheque's always one of your _father's_!
[_She goes out Right._
GEOFFREY. Good God! what am I going to do--shoot myself, if I don't get out of this soon--I must get some air!
[_He goes out Left._
[_JINNY opens the double doors, looks in, and then enters. She is an adorable little human being, pretty, high-strung, temperamental, full of certain feminine fascination that defies analysis, which is partly due to the few faults she possesses. She is, of course, dressed in the conventional wedding-dress, a tulle veil thrown over her face._
JINNY. Not a soul! Come on!
[_She is followed in by the four BRIDESMAIDS--nice girls every one of them--and also, very slyly, by SUSIE, a very modern spoiled child, who sits unobserved out of the way at the back._
Now, my dears, I wish to say good-by all by ourselves so I can make you a little speech! [_All laugh gently._] In the first place I want to tell you that there's nothing like marriage! And you must every one of you try it! Really, I was never so happy in my life!
GRACE. Must we stand, or may we sit down?
JINNY. Oh, stand; it won't be long and you'll only crush your lovely frocks. In fact, I advise you not to lose any time sitting down again until you've got the happy day fixed!
RUTH. You know, Jinny darling, that there is no one so glad for your happiness as your four bridesmaids are--isn't that so, girls?
ALL. Yes!
[_And they all together embrace JINNY, saying, "Dear old Jinny," "Darling Jinny," "We'll miss you dreadfully," etc., ad lib., till they get tearful._
JINNY. Good gracious, girls, we mustn't cry. I'll get red eyes, and Jack'll think what an awful difference just the marriage service makes in a woman.
[_The doors at the back open, and AUSTIN appears in the doorway._
[_AUSTIN is a typical New Yorker in appearance, thirty-two years old, good-looking, manly, self-poised, and somewhat phlegmatic in temperament._
AUSTIN. Hello! May a mere man come in to this delectable tea party?
JINNY. _No_, Jack! But _wait_--by the door till I call you!
AUSTIN. [_Amused._] Thank you!
[_He goes out, closing the door._
GERTRUDE. We'll miss you so awfully, Jinny.
JINNY. Just what I say! Get a man to keep you company, and then you won't miss any one.
BELLE. Yes, but attractive men with lots of money don't come into the Grand Central Station by every train!
JINNY. [_Putting her arm about her._] You want too much, my dear Belle! And you aren't watching the Grand Central Station either half so much as you are the steamer docks for a suitable person. Now don't be angry; you know you want a good big title, and you've got the money to pay, but, my dear Belle, it's those ideas of yours that have kept you single till--twenty-six!--now _that_ you must confess was nice of me, to take off _three_ years!
BELLE. [_Laughing._] Jinny, you're horrid!
JINNY. No, I'm not! You know I'm _really_ fond of you, or you wouldn't be my bridesmaid to-day; it's only that I want _your wedding_ to be as happy as _mine_--that's all, and here's a little gift for you to remember your disagreeable but loving friend by!
[_Giving her a small jewelry box._
BELLE. Thank you, Jinny! Thank you!
[_A little moved._
GRACE. Mercy! I hope you're not going to take each one of us!
JINNY. I am, and come here, _you're_ next!
GRACE. I'll swear I don't want to get married at all!
JINNY. Don't be silly, you _icicle_! Of course you don't; you freeze all the men away, so that you've no idea how nice and comfy they can be! My advice to you, Grace darling,--and I _love_ you, or I wouldn't bother,--is to _thaw_! [_Laughs._] I used to be awfully jealous of you--
GRACE. [_Interrupting._] Oh!
JINNY. Yes, I was! You're lots prettier than I am.
GRACE. Jinny!
JINNY. You _are_! But I got over it because I soon saw you were so cold, there was no danger of any conflagration near you! Oh, I've watched your _eyes_ often to see if any man had lighted the fires in them yet. And now I'm determined they shall be lighted. You're too _cold_! Thaw, dear,--not to _everybody_,--that would be like slushy weather, but don't keep yourself so continually so far below zero that you won't have time to strike--well--say eighty-five in _the shade_, when the right bit of masculine sunshine _does_ come along! Here--with my best love!
[_Giving her a small jewelry box._
[_GRACE kisses JINNY._
GERTRUDE. I am the next _victim_, I believe!
JINNY. All I've got to say to _you_, Miss, is, that if you don't decide pretty soon on _one_ of the half dozen men you are flirting with _disgracefully_ at present, they'll every one find you out and you'll have to go in for widowers.
GERTRUDE. [_Mockingly._] Horrors!
JINNY. Oh, I don't know! I suppose a widower is sort of _broken in_ and would be more likely to put up with your caprices! For the sake of your charm and wit and true heart underneath it all, you dear old girl you!
[_Giving her a small jewel box._
GERTRUDE. Thank you, Jinny. I'm only afraid I will do the wrong thing with you away! You know you're always my ballast!
JINNY. Nonsense! Female ballast is no good; masculine ballast is the only kind that's safe if you want to make life's journey in a love balloon. [_SHE turns to RUTH CHESTER._] Ruth--the trouble with you is, you're too sad lately, and show such a lack of interest. I should think you might be in love, only I haven't been able to find the man. Anyway, if you aren't in love, you must _pretend_ an interest in things. Of course, men's affairs are awfully dull, but they don't like you to talk about them, so it's really very easy. All you have to do is listen, stare them straight in the eyes, think of whatever you like, and look pleased! It _does_ flatter them, and they think _they_ are _interesting_, and you _charming_! Wear this, and think of me! [_Giving her a box._] and be happy! I _want_ you to be _happy_--and I can see you aren't!
RUTH. [_Kissing her._] Thank you, dear!
JINNY. There, that's all!--except--when I come home from abroad in October, if every one of you aren't engaged to be married, I'll wash my hands of you--
[_They all laugh._
[_SUSIE, sliding off her chair at back, comes forward._
SUSIE. Now, it's my turn! You can't chuck me!
JINNY. [_Trying not to laugh._] Susie! where did you come from and _what do_ you mean?
SUSIE. Oh, you give me a pain!--I went up the aisle with you to-day, too--what's the matter with telling me how to get married!
JINNY. I'll tell you this, your language is dreadful; where do you get all the boy's slang? You don't talk like a lady.
SUSIE. I'm not a lady. I'm a little girl!
JINNY. You _talk_ much more like a common boy.
SUSIE. Well, I'd rather _be_ a _boy_!
JINNY. Susie, I shall tell Aunt Laura her daughter needs looking after.
SUSIE. Oh, very well, cousin Jinny. If you're going to make trouble, why, forget it!
[_Turns and goes out haughtily, Right._
JINNY. [_Going to the double doors, calls._] Now you can come in, Jack.
[_AUSTIN enters._
AUSTIN. And now I've only time to say good-by. All your guests have gone except the Cullinghams, who are upstairs with your mother, looking at the presents.
GERTRUDE. Come! All hands around him!
[_The five GIRLS join hands, with AUSTIN in the centre._
BELLE. We don't care if every one else has gone or not, _we're_ here yet!
AUSTIN. So I see! But I am ordered by my father-in-law--ahem! [_all laugh_] --to go to my room, or he thinks there will be danger of our losing our train.
ALL THE BRIDESMAIDS. [_Ad lib._] Where are you going? Where are you going? We won't let you out till you tell us.
AUSTIN. I daren't--I'm afraid of my wife!
JINNY. Bravo, Jack!
GRACE. Very well, then, we'll let you out, on _one_ condition, that you kiss us all in turn.
[_The GIRLS laugh._
JINNY. No! No! [_Breaking away._] He shan't do any such thing!
[_They all laugh and break up the ring._
GERTRUDE. Dear me, isn't she jealous!
BELLE. Yes, it is evidently time we all went! Good-by, Jinny! [_Kissing her._] A happy journey to _Washington_!
JINNY. No, it isn't!
[_General good-bys. JINNY begins with RUTH at one end, and AUSTIN at the other; he says good-by and shakes hands with each girl._
GERTRUDE. [_Kissing JINNY._] Good-by, and a pleasant trip to _Niagara Falls_!
JINNY. Not a bit!
GRACE. [_Kissing JINNY._] Good-by, I believe it's _Boston_ or _Chicago_!
JINNY. _Neither!_
RUTH. Good-by, dear, and all the happiness in the world!
[_Kisses her._
JINNY. Thank you.
[_She turns and goes with the other three girls to the double doors at back, where they are heard talking._
RUTH. Mr. Austin?
AUSTIN. Yes?
[_Joining her._
RUTH. [_Embarrassed._] You like your new brother, _don't_ you?
AUSTIN. Geof? most certainly I do, and Jinny adores him.
RUTH. I know, then, you'll be a good friend to him if he needs one.
AUSTIN. Surely I will.
RUTH. I think he does need one.
AUSTIN. Really--
[_The GIRLS are passing out through the doors._
BELLE. Come along, Ruth.
[_THEY pass out and JINNY stands in the doorway talking to them till they are out of hearing._
RUTH. Sh! please don't tell any one, not even Jinny, what I've said! I may be betraying something I've no right to do, and don't tell _him_ I've spoken to you.
AUSTIN. All right!
[_JINNY turns around in the doorway._
RUTH. Thank you--and good-by.
[_Shaking his hand again._
[_JINNY notices that they shake hands twice. A queer little look comes into her face._
AUSTIN. Good-by.
RUTH. Have they gone?--Oh! [_Hurrying past_ JINNY.] Good-by, dear.
[_She goes out through the double doors._
JINNY. [_In a curious little voice._] Good-by....
[_She comes slowly down the room toward AUSTIN, and smiles at him quizzically._] What were you two saying?
AUSTIN. Good-by!
JINNY. But you'd said it once to her already! Why did you have to say good-by _twice_ to _Ruth_? Once was enough for all the other girls!
AUSTIN. [_Banteringly._] The first time _I_ said good-by to _her_, and the second time _she_ said good-by to _me_!
JINNY. Do you know what I believe--_Ruth Chester's in love with you_!
AUSTIN. Oh, darling!
[_Laughs._
JINNY. Yes, that explains the whole thing. No wonder she was _triste_ to-day.
AUSTIN. [_Laughing._] Jinny, sweetheart, don't get such an absurd notion into your head.
JINNY. [_Looks straight at him a moment, then speaks tenderly._] No--no--I know it's not your fault. There was no other woman in this house for you to-day but _me_, _was_ there?
AUSTIN. There was no other woman in the world for me since the first week I knew you.
[_Taking her into his arms._
JINNY. This is good-by to _Jinny Tillman_!
[_He kisses her._
Jack, darling, do you think I could sit on your knee like a little child and put my arm around your neck and rest my head on your shoulder for just five seconds--I'm _so tired_!
[_MRS. CULLINGHAM opens the door._
MRS. CULLINGHAM. Oh!
[_Shuts the door very quickly and knocks._
[_JINNY and AUSTIN laugh._
JINNY. Yes, yes--come in!
[_MRS. CULLINGHAM enters. She is a handsome, whole-souled, florid woman; one of those creatures of inexhaustible vitality who make people of a nervous temperament tired almost on contact by sheer contrast. She is the kindest, best meaning creature in the world._
MRS. CULLINGHAM. Oh, do excuse me! I haven't any more tact!--and I hate to interrupt you, but I must say good-by. [_Calls._] Peter!
PETER. Yes'm.
[_Entering with a glass of water and a powder. He sits in the arm-chair at right, and constantly looks at his watch._
AUSTIN. I'm much obliged to you, Mrs. Cullingham, for the interruption, as I was sent long ago to make myself ready for the train, if you'll excuse me!
MRS. CULLINGHAM. Certainly!
JINNY. Good-by!
[_Taking his hand as he passes her._
AUSTIN. Good-by!
[_He goes out Right._
MRS. CULLINGHAM. If it's time for _him_, it's certainly time for _you_. I won't keep you a minute!
JINNY. No, really we've plenty of time,-- [_both sit on sofa._] Wasn't it a lovely wedding!
MRS. CULLINGHAM. I never saw a sweeter, my dear! And it was perfectly elegant! Simply great!
JINNY. And isn't Jack--
MRS. CULLINGHAM. He is! And so are you! In fact I've been telling your mother I don't know how to thank you both. You've asked me to-day to meet the swellest crowd I've ever been in where I was _invited_, and didn't have to buy tickets, and felt I had a right to say something besides "excuse me," and "I beg your pardon." Of course, I've sat next to them all before in restaurants and at concerts, but this time I felt like the real thing myself, and I shall never forget it! If you or your husband ever want any mining tips, come to me; what my husband don't know about mines isn't worth knowing!
JINNY. I'm as glad as I can be if you've had a good time, and you mustn't feel indebted to us. Ever since we met in Egypt that winter, mamma and I have always felt you were one of our best friends.
MRS. CULLINGHAM. Of course you know it isn't for _my own_ sake I'm doing these stunts to get into Society. It's all for _my boy_. He's _got_ to have the best--or the _worst_, however you look at it! [_Laughing._] Anyway, I want him to have a chance at it, and it belongs to him through his father, for my first husband was a real swell!
[_Looking at PETER lovingly._
[_At this moment, PETER, having again looked at his watch, tips up the powder on his tongue, and swallows it down with the water._
MRS. CULLINGHAM. Poor darling! He suffers terribly from indigestion. That's an alkali powder he takes twenty minutes after eating. Peter, we must say good-by now.
PETER. [_Coming up._] Good-by, Miss Jinny.
MRS. CULLINGHAM. _Mrs. Austin!_
JINNY. Oh, I'll always be "Miss Jinny" to Peter!
PETER. Thank you! We've had a great time at your wedding! _Bully food!_ But I'm _feeling_ it! [_He turns aside._] Excuse me!
MRS. CULLINGHAM. I was just telling Mrs. Austin--
[_Interrupted._
JINNY. "Jinny"--don't change.
MRS. CULLINGHAM. Thank you-- [_Rises to go._] I was just saying we won't forget in our social life, will we, Peter, that Miss Jinny gave us the biggest boost up we've had yet?
[_JINNY also rises._
PETER. Well, you know, mother, I don't think the game's worth the candle. It's begun to pall on me already.
MRS. CULLINGHAM. I really think he's going to be superior to it!
PETER. I only go now for your sake.
[_MRS. TILLMAN, coming from Right, speaks off stage._
MRS. TILLMAN. Jinny! Jinny!
JINNY. Mother!
[_MRS. TILLMAN enters._
JINNY. I ought to dress?
MRS. TILLMAN. [_To MRS. CULLINGHAM._] She'll be late if she isn't careful.
JINNY. I'm going to. Is Maggie there?
MRS. TILLMAN. Yes, waiting!
JINNY. Good-by. [_Kisses MRS. CULLINGHAM._] Good-by. [_Shakes PETER'S hand._]
PETER. Many happy returns!
[_JINNY goes out Right._
MRS. TILLMAN. Come, I want to give you some of Jinny's flowers to take home with you. Would you like some?
MRS. CULLINGHAM. I should love them!
[_They go out through the doors at back._
[_PETER is suffering with indigestion. He takes a charcoal tablet, and SUSIE cautiously enters Right._
SUSIE. There you are! Have you got 'em?
PETER. No, I gave them back to you.
SUSIE. Then they're in there on the table--get 'em quick, the trunks are coming down now!
[_PETER goes out quickly at back, as the BUTLER and MAN SERVANT enter Right, carrying a large new trunk with a portmanteau on top of it._
SUSIE. Put them right over there for a minute! [_They put them down in the centre of the room, and the FOOTMAN goes out Right._] And mind, you don't split on us, Thomas. Auntie Tillman knows all about it--it's just to be a nice little surprise for Cousin Jinny and my new uncle.
BUTLER. Very well, miss.
[_He also goes out Right._
[_At the same time PETER reënters at back with a roll of papers and some broad white satin ribbon. The papers are about half a foot broad and two feet long, and on them is printed, "We are on our honeymoon."_
PETER. [_With gay excitement._] I've got 'em.
SUSIE. Get some water--there's sticky stuff on the back!
[_PETER gives her the papers and ribbons and goes out again at back._
SUSIE. Quick! [_Ties a big white bow on the portmanteau and on a trunk handle._] If Auntie Tillman sees 'em, I'll bet she'll grab 'em off. She'll be as mad as _hops_!
[_The BUTLER and FOOTMAN reënter Right, and bring down an old steamer trunk and a gentleman's dressing-bag._
BUTLER. [_To the FOOTMAN._] Go and see if the carriage is there!
FOOTMAN. Yes, sir.
[_He goes out Left._
[_As PETER reënters from the back, with the water._
SUSIE. Quick now! Quick!
[_They stick one label on the big steamer trunk facing the audience._
PETER. I say isn't that great!
[_SUSIE giggles aloud with delight. The BUTLER, standing at one side, smiles. They put another label on the other trunk._
SUSIE. [_Giggling._] I heard them plan it,--they're taking one old trunk purposely so as people would not catch on they were just married!
[_Giggles delightedly._
[_The FOOTMAN reënters with a driver, Left._
FOOTMAN. Yes, sir, it's here.
BUTLER. [_To the driver._] You can take that first.
[_Pointing to the steamer trunk._
[_DRIVER goes out Left with it on his shoulder, and the portmanteau._
BUTLER. Now, James, you're to go over with the luggage to Twenty-third Street Ferry and check the heavy baggage; you know where to.
FOOTMAN. Yes, sir.
SUSIE. [_Eagerly._] Oh, _where to?_
BUTLER. I am hunder hoath not to tell, Miss.
SUSIE. O pish!
[_Kneeling in the big arm-chair and watching proceedings from behind its back._
BUTLER. [_Continues to the FOOTMAN._] And wait with the checks and Mr. Austin's dressing-bag-- [_Showing it._] --until they come.
FOOTMAN. Yes, sir.
PETER. And make haste, or, I say, somebody'll turn up and give our whole joke away!
[_The DRIVER reënters._
SUSIE. Yes, _do_ hurry!
FOOTMAN. [_To the DRIVER._] Come along.
[_They take the big trunk out Left. BUTLER follows with the dressing-bag._
MRS. CULLINGHAM. [_Calls from the room at back._] Peter darling, are you there?
SUSIE. Phew! Just in time!
[_Sliding down into a more correct position in the chair._
PETER. Yes, mother!
[_Going to back._
MRS. CULLINGHAM. [_In the doorway, at back._] Come, take these beautiful roses from Mrs. Tillman!
[_MRS. CULLINGHAM and MRS. TILLMAN enter._
MRS. TILLMAN. [_With her arms full of roses._] Thomas will take them down.
PETER. No, I'd like to. Aren't they bully?
[_He takes them._
MRS. CULLINGHAM. [_To MRS. TILLMAN._] Good-by, and thank you again. I know you must want to go up to Jinny.
MRS. TILLMAN. Yes, she may need me to help her a little. Good-by. Good-by, Peter.
PETER. Good-by, ma'm.
[_MRS. TILLMAN goes out Right._
MRS. CULLINGHAM. Why, Susie, how do you do?
SUSIE. [_Glides out of the chair and stands before it._] How do you do?
[_Embarrassed._
MRS. CULLINGHAM. You're a good little girl, I hope?
SUSIE. I don't! I hate good little girls!
MRS. CULLINGHAM. O my!
[_She goes out, laughing, Left._
[_PETER, coming to SUSIE, catches her in his arms and kisses her, much against her will._
SUSIE. [_Furious._] Oh, you horrid, nasty thing, you! [_She strikes at him; he runs; she chases him from one side of the room to the other, around a sofa and table, and out Left, screaming as she chases him._] I hate you! I hate you!
[_MAGGIE enters Right._
MAGGIE. Miss Susie, Mrs. Tillman wants to see you upstairs.
SUSIE. What for?
MAGGIE. I don't know, Miss.
SUSIE. Pshaw! have I got to go? All right!
[_Going toward the door at Right._
[_AUSTIN enters, meeting SUSIE._
AUSTIN. Hello! Where are _you_ going?
SUSIE. Oh, up to Auntie Tillman's room. Goodness knows what for; it's an awful bore! Want to come along?
AUSTIN. No, thank you; but if you see your Cousin Jinny, you might tell her I am down.
SUSIE. [_Hanging on to him._] I say! Where are you and Cousin Jinny going to, anyway?
AUSTIN. [_Smiling._] I don't know.
SUSIE. O my, what a fib! And that's a nice example to set a little girl!
[_She goes out Right._
MAGGIE. [_Coming forward._] I beg pardon, sir, but may I speak to you a minute?
AUSTIN. Certainly, Maggie, what is it?
MAGGIE. I've been trying for a chance to see you alone. I wouldn't bother you, sir--but it's only because I'm fond of Miss Jinny, and of Mr. and Mrs. Tillman, and they've all been so good to me; I know it would nearly kill 'em if they knew.
AUSTIN. Come, Maggie, knew what?
MAGGIE. Well, _one member_ of this family ain't been good to me, sir. [_From this point her feelings begin to get the better of her and she speaks rapidly and hysterically._] He's been bad, bad as he could, and somebody's got to talk to him, and I don't see who's a-goin' to do it but you. If he don't change, I'll not hold my tongue any longer. It's all I can do for their sakes to hold it now!
AUSTIN. Look here, what are you talking about? You don't mean Mr. Geoffrey?
MAGGIE. Yes, I do, sir; he's my husband.
AUSTIN. What!!
MAGGIE. We was married when he was at Yale, sir; I was in a shop there.
AUSTIN. But--! Well, after all, isn't this your and Geoffrey's affair? Why bring me in?
MAGGIE. Because he's making love to Miss Chester, and promising to marry _her_ now, and if he don't stop--I'll make trouble!
AUSTIN. But if he's married to you, as you say--he can't marry--any one else.
MAGGIE. He's tried to make me believe our marriage ain't legal, because he was only twenty and he'd been drinking!
AUSTIN. What makes you think Mr. Geoffrey cares for--Miss Chester?
MAGGIE. I just heard and see him making love to her _here_!
AUSTIN. This is a pretty bad story, Maggie.
MAGGIE. Yes, sir, and the worst is, sir, I know I ain't good enough for him, and that's why I've kept still about it these three years, but I can't help loving him no matter how ugly he's treated me. [_Breaking down into tears._] I just can't help it! I _love_ him, sir, even if I'm only a servant girl, and I can't stand it thinking he's going to try and get rid of me for some one else!
[_She sobs out loud._
AUSTIN. Sh!--Maggie. Sit down a minute, and control yourself. Somebody'll hear you, and besides they'll be coming down presently. I'll have a talk with Mr. Geoffrey when I come back--
[_Interrupted as GEOFFREY enters Left. He doesn't see MAGGIE, who is collapsed in a corner of the sofa._
GEOFFREY. [_To AUSTIN._] Ah! Thank goodness I've caught you; I had an awful headache and went out for a breath of air, and then I was afraid I might have missed you! I knew in that case Jinny would never forgive me, nor--I--myself--for that--matter--
[_His voice grows less exuberant in the middle of his speech and finally at the end almost dies away, as he sees the expression in AUSTIN'S face and realizes that something is wrong somewhere. When he stops speaking, MAGGIE gives a gasping sob. He hears it, and starting, sees her._
GEOFFREY. Maggie!
AUSTIN. Geoffrey, is what this girl says true?
GEOFFREY. That I married her in New Haven? Yes.
MAGGIE. [_Rises._] I'll go, please, I'd rather go.
AUSTIN. Yes, go, Maggie; it's better.
[_MAGGIE goes out Right._
GEOFFREY. [_As soon as she is out of the room._] Promise me, Jack, you won't tell any one! It's awful, I know! For two years at college I went all to pieces and led a rotten life,--and one night, drunk, I married her, and it isn't so much her fault. I suppose she thought I loved her,--but this would break up the old lady and gentleman so, if they knew, I couldn't stand it! And Jinny, for God's sake, don't tell Jinny. _She respects me._ You won't tell her, will you?
AUSTIN. No. But Maggie says you want to marry some one else now.
GEOFFREY. [_With a change, in great shame._] That's true, too.
[_He sits in utter dejection on the sofa._
AUSTIN. How are you going to do it?
GEOFFREY. I must make money somehow and buy off Maggie.
AUSTIN. Yes, go out to Sioux Falls, get a divorce there on respectable grounds, and settle a sum of money on Maggie.
GEOFFREY. But I can't do that!
AUSTIN. Why not?
GEOFFREY. I can't do anything that would give publicity, and that divorce would.
AUSTIN. Any divorce would; you can't get rid of that.
GEOFFREY. I tell you I can't have publicity. Ruth--Miss Chester--would hear of it.
AUSTIN. Well, if she loves you, she'll forgive your wild oats, especially as every one sees now what a steady, straight fellow you've become.
GEOFFREY. It's Ruth! But I can't do that. No, Jack, you must help--you will, won't you? Oh, _do_, for Jinny's sake! Help me to persuade Maggie to keep silent for good, tear up that certificate of marriage. I was only twenty; it's hardly legal, and I'll settle a good sum--
[_Interrupted._
AUSTIN. [_Going straight to him, puts his hand heavily on his shoulder._] Good God, you're proposing bigamy! You've done enough; don't stoop to _crime_!
[_The two MEN face each other a moment. GEOFFREY'S head drops._
AUSTIN. Forget you ever said that; do what I tell you when Jinny and I have gone abroad, so she will be away from it a little, and if you want money, let me know.
[_JINNY enters Right, with nervous gaiety, covering an upheaving emotion which is very near the surface._
JINNY. Ready! And there _you_ are, Geof. I've been sending all over the house after you! Good-by! [_Throwing her arms about him._] Dear old Geof! Haven't we had good times together! Always, always from the youngest days I can remember--I don't believe there were ever a brother and sister so sympathetic; I know there was never a brother such a perfect darling as you were--I'll miss you, Geof! [_The tears come into her voice, anyway._] I used to think I'd never marry at all if I couldn't marry _you_, and I _do_ think _he_ is the only man in the world who could have taken me away from home, so long as you were there! [_To AUSTIN, smiling._] You aren't jealous?
AUSTIN. No!
JINNY. [_In jest._] Isn't it awful! You can't _make_ him jealous! I think it's a positive flaw in his character! Not like--_us_, is he?
GEOFFREY. Dear old girl--
JINNY. [_Whispers to him._] And I've noticed how you've overcome certain things, dear Geof. I know it's been _hard_, and I'm proud of you.
GEOFFREY. Sh! Jinny, dear old sister! I'll miss _you_! By George, Jin, the house'll be awful without--but you-- [_His voice grows husky._] --just excuse me a minute!
[_He is about to break down, and so hurries out Right._
JINNY. [_Sniffling._] He was going to cry! Oh, Jack, you'll be a brother to Geoffrey, won't you? You know he's been awfully dissipated, and he's changed it all, all by himself! _If he should go wrong again_--I believe it would break my heart, I love him so!
AUSTIN. I'll do _more_ for him, if he ever needs me, than if he were _my own_ brother, because he's _yours_!
JINNY. [_Presses his hand and looks up at him lovingly and gratefully._] Thank you. Wait here just a minute; I know he won't come back to say good-by. He's gone up to his room, I'm sure--I'll just surprise him with a hug and my hands over his eyes like we used to do years ago.
[_She starts to go out Right, and meets MR. and MRS. TILLMAN, who enter._
TILLMAN. The carriage is here!
JINNY. I won't be a second--
[_She goes out Right._
MRS. TILLMAN. Where has she gone?
AUSTIN. Up to her brother.
MRS. TILLMAN. Her father's been locked up in his study for three hours--he _says_ thinking, but to _me_ his eyes look very suspicious!
[_Taking her husband's arm affectionately._
TILLMAN. [_Clears his throat._] Nonsense!
MRS. TILLMAN. Well, _how many cigars did you smoke_?
TILLMAN. Eight.
MRS. TILLMAN. The amount of emotion that a man can soak out of himself with tobacco is wonderful! He uses it just like a sponge!
TILLMAN. Jack, the first thing I asked about you when I heard that--er--that things were getting this way was, does he smoke? A man who smokes has always that outlet. If things go wrong--go out and smoke a cigar, and when the cigar's _finished_, ten to one everything's got right, somehow! If you lose your temper, don't speak!--a cigar, and when it's finished, then speak! You'll find the temper all gone up in the smoke! A woman's happiness is safest with a man who smokes. [_He clears his throat, which is filling._] God bless you, Jack, it _is_ a wrench; our only girl, you know. She's been a great joy--ahem!
[_He quickly gets out a cigar._
MRS. TILLMAN. [_Stopping him from smoking._] No, no, dear, they're _going now_!
TILLMAN. Well, the best I can say is, I wish you as happy a married life as her mother and I have had.
MRS. TILLMAN. Thirty-five _dear_ years! But now, George, let me say a word--you always have monopolized our new son--he'll be much fonder of you than _me_!
TILLMAN. Old lady!--Jealous!--
MRS. TILLMAN. Turn about is fair play--you're jealous still of Jinny and me. [_She pauses a moment._] I think we'd better tell him!
TILLMAN. All right. The only rifts in our lute, Jack, have been little threads of jealousy that have snapped sometimes!
MRS. TILLMAN. Nothing ever serious--of course, _but_ it's a fault that Jinny shares with us, and the _only fault_ we've ever been able to find.
TILLMAN. We called her for years the girl with the green eyes. She goes it pretty _strong_ sometimes!
AUSTIN. Oh, that's all right--I shall _like_ it!
MRS. TILLMAN. You'll always bear with her, won't you, if she should ever get jealous of you?
AUSTIN. Of _me_? I'll never give _her the chance_.
MRS. TILLMAN. It isn't a question of chance; you just can't help it sometimes, can you, George?
TILLMAN. No, you can't.
MRS. TILLMAN. And so--
AUSTIN. Don't worry! Your daughter's safe with me. I'm not the jealous sort myself and I love Jinny so completely, so calmly, and yet with my heart, and soul, and mind, and body, she'll never have a _chance_ even to _try_ to be jealous of _me_!
TILLMAN. Sh!
[_JINNY enters Right._
JINNY. I found poor Maggie up in my room crying! She says she can't bear to have me go away. I think she's sorry now she wouldn't come with me as maid--and I said good-by to cook and she sniffed!
[_AUSTIN looks at his watch._
AUSTIN. Oh! we ought to go!
MRS. TILLMAN. Good-by, darling!
[_Kissing JINNY and embracing her a long time, while AUSTIN and TILLMAN shake hands warmly and say good-by._
JINNY. [_Going to her father._] Good-by, father. Dear old father!
[_With happy emotion._
[_AUSTIN meanwhile is shaking hands with MRS. TILLMAN._
JINNY. [_Returns to her mother._] Darling--oh, how good you've always been to me! Oh, mummy darling, I _shall_ miss you! You'll send me a letter to-morrow, won't you, or a telegram? Send a telegram--you've got the address!
MRS. TILLMAN. [_With tears in her eyes._] Yes, it's written down!
JINNY. You can tell father, but no one else!
[_Hugs and kisses her mother._
TILLMAN. Come, Susan! They'll lose their train!
[_JINNY again embraces her father._
ALL. Good-by! Good-by!
[_JINNY, starting to go with AUSTIN, suddenly leaves him and runs back again to her mother and throws herself in her arms. They embrace, in tears._
JINNY. Good-by, mother!
MRS. TILLMAN. Good-by, my darling!
TILLMAN. Come, come! they'll lose their train!
[_JINNY runs to AUSTIN, and with his arms about her, they hurry to the door Left. They go through the doors at back to window in the corridor. JINNY stops at the door and she and AUSTIN face each other a moment._
JINNY. [_Looking up at him._] Oh, Jack!
[_She throws her arms about his neck and buries her face on his shoulder._
AUSTIN. Jinny, Jinny dear, you're not sorry?
JINNY. [_Slowly raises her head and looks at him, smiling through her tears, and speaks in a voice full of tears and little sobs._] Sorry? Oh, no! Oh, no! It hurts me to leave them, but I never was so _happy_ in my life!
[_He kisses her and they hurry out, with his arm about her._
MRS. TILLMAN. [_In the corridor, lifts the window._] I hear the door--
TILLMAN. There they are!
[_SUSIE rushes across the stage with a bowl of rice in her arms and goes out Left._
[_MR. and MRS. TILLMAN wave and say "Good-by!" "Good-by!" "Good-by!" They close the window in silence. The sound is heard as the window frame reaches the bottom. They turn and come slowly forward, TILLMAN wiping his eyes and MRS. TILLMAN biting her lips to keep the tears back. They come into the front room and stop, and for a second they look around the empty room. TILLMAN puts his hand in his pocket and takes out his cigar case. MRS. TILLMAN, turning, sees him; she goes to him swiftly and touches his arm, looking up at him through her tears. He turns to her and slowly takes her in his arms and holds her there close and kisses her tenderly on the cheek._
[_SUSIE enters Left, with empty bowl, sobbing aloud, as_
THE CURTAIN FALLS