PART X.

AN ALL-IMPORTANT SUBJECT CONCLUDED.

“Her price is far above rubies.”—Proverbs xxxi. 10.

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I want to begin our evening talk, once more, by asking a somewhat searching question. I know I shall not offend my dear girl friends by so doing.

When you are looking forward to meeting the one on whose good opinion you place the greatest value, on what do you bestow most care and attention? Your higher nature, or your outward appearance? Is it not generally the latter? Do you not study what colour best suits your complexion, what style sets off your figure to the greatest advantage, or whether you have heard him express approval of one dress above all others?

To use the common phrase, you “want to look nice” in the eyes of that one who has done all but tell you that you occupy the first place in his heart, and to whom you have virtually given your own.

Do I blame you for wishing to be externally attractive? Assuredly not. It is your duty to try and be so at all times and under all circumstances.

Only, do not be too anxious about outside adornment. Let your life commend you, rather than your good looks or your tasteful dress. These may attract in the first instance, but they will not keep what is best worth having.

A friend once spoke to the mother of a large family of girls in regard to the anxiety she must feel about their future settlement in life.

She answered with a bright smile, which suggested anything but anxiety, “I try so to train my girls that they will be fit for the sacred duties that wives and mothers have to fulfil, and I leave the rest to God.”

One would like to see all girls actuated by the same spirit, that, without undervaluing anything that helps to make them externally attractive, they should cultivate every quality that will place them on a level with the best man in the best things.

In speaking to you, dear girl members of my Twilight circle, I assume that you desire in all your ways to acknowledge God, and pray that He will direct your paths. Can there be a more important matter on which you need guidance than that on which the happiness of your future life depends? And yet, how common it is for girls to be so carried away by flattering words and delicate attentions, which make them the envy of others, that they do not pause to think how small a part these things play in most married lives.

Are you accustomed to lay bare your heart to God in prayer, and to seek His aid in all things? If so, have you asked yourself whether the one to whose keeping you think of committing your future, will be likely to kneel by your side and join heart to heart with you in making your joint requests known to God?

Believe me, if husband and wife never pray together, they never taste the sweetest portion possible in the cup of wedded happiness.

If their ways diverge when the path leads to the House of God; if they neither worship together in the home nor the sanctuary, they are without the precious bond of union that makes their lives truly one here, and gives the assurance of an eternal reunion beyond the grave.

There are many indications of character which may seem trivial in the eyes of some of you, but which ought to be deemed danger signals in regard to married life in the future. For instance, an occasional giving way to intemperance. Jesting about sacred things or passages from the Bible. Breaches of faith in minor matters. Disregard of truth, duplicity or evasion. Lavish expenditure and indifference about incurring debts. Carelessness as to the comfort and convenience of other members of the family, and want of respect towards parents.

These are but a few of the tendencies which are almost certain to develop into habits later in life, and to bring anxiety and sorrow with them.

A girl can make no greater mistake than to think that, after marriage, her influence alone will suffice to conquer all such tendencies. A man naturally tries to present the best side of his character to the girl he seeks to win, and if the best is disfigured by serious blemishes, believe me, these will be more likely to grow than to disappear after marriage.

Not that I would underrate the possible influence of a good woman. But to a good girl I would say, “Let your suitor, who is ready to promise anything if you will say ‘yes’ to his suit, begin his work of reformation _now_. Tell him frankly that your heart inclines to favour him, but conscience warns you not to link your life with his until you feel that the habits which threaten your future happiness have been overcome by God-given strength. Say that you will wait, prayerfully and patiently, during the testing-time, but that you dare not consent to an unequal yoke. If he truly loves you he will receive your answer in a right spirit, and will value and respect you the more for it.”

If, on the contrary, he should prove unwilling to turn from the sin which so easily besets him, be assured that the test has been wisely applied, and thank God that you had the courage to use it. If we do right at all costs to our own inclinations, we may with confidence leave our future in God’s hands, and be sure that He will have some better thing in store for us in His own good time.

You, my dear ones, must, however, look within, as well as at all that can be discerned in the characters of those who come to woo you. A true heart should have its counterpart in exchange. If one is offered, see that you give an equivalent, and do not dare to accept that for which you can give no fair return.

To accept true affection only because of the money or position that comes with it, and to feign the love you do not feel in order to secure a share of the wealth you covet, is to commit a fraud of the worst and most contemptible kind. You cannot, it is true, be called to account before an earthly tribunal, but you will assuredly pay the penalty of deceit and selfishness in one way or another.

There are some girls, dear good girls too, who get a little carried away by the sense of power and proprietorship that comes with an engagement.

Does it not seem delightful to look up at the fine, strong sample of humanity, whom love has made your captive, and to think to yourself, “He is ready to give his strength, his means, his time, all that he has, to promote my happiness”?

Does the thought of such honest devotion make you proud or humble; anxious to display your power or to repay and deserve such devotion?

Who has not heard such words as these from girlish lips? “I can twist him round my little finger.” “He almost worships the ground I tread on.” And forthwith the speaker proceeds to prove the truth of her assertion by little, teasing, coquettish ways that are unworthy to have a place where true love is concerned. These airs and graces and tantalising ways are only like pin pricks, but they wound and leave scars which do not easily wear away.

The more tender and sincere is the nature with which you have to do, the more likely is it to retain the painful impression produced by such methods. I am not going to describe them exactly. You all know what I mean, and, in your hearts, acknowledge that they are unworthy accompaniments even to your self-respect, to say nothing of the esteem which should always go with love for your future mate.

If you believe in your _fiancé’s_ truth, be content without compelling him to make a perpetual show of his devotion for the gratification of your vanity. Good men are pained by such experiments; men of lower natures are apt to retaliate, though, it may be, not immediately.

A husband of many years’ standing once told me that a few words, half jesting, half taunting, from the girl to whom he was engaged, had nearly caused a final parting. They did not, for the girl, finding that she had gone too far, expressed her regret and was forgiven. But the effect of her stinging words did not soon pass away. The girl forgot them. The man’s memory was too faithful, and after a long married life he could not think of them without a renewal of the old pain. “I would give anything to blot out the memory of that girlish taunt,” he said, “but I cannot, and _it hurts me after all these years!_”

A good man I knew said to the girl who had just promised to be his wife, “I have asked you to share my home and my life because you are dearer to me than all the world besides. Your consent has made me very happy. Now, dear, I want you to trust me fully, and never to stoop to test my affection, as I have seen some girls do, in order to display their power over a man. I have perfect confidence in you, and, though we shall be parted for some months to come, I shall be cheered by the thought that at the end of them our real life union will begin. If at any time you should not receive a letter just when you look for it, or my coming should be delayed, be sure that I have not willingly disappointed you. Wait patiently, and trust me under all circumstances, as I trust you.”

The girl promised. The quiet, simple words and the look of love and faith in the speaker’s face went to her heart. “Come what may, I shall always trust you,” she said, “whether in great or little things.”

Circumstances followed—quite unforeseen at the time the pair became engaged—which tested to the utmost the affection and trust of both. But they stood the test, and when at length difficulties were overcome, their union was not the less happy, because, if they had trodden a somewhat thorny road before reaching the bright home they shared together, neither doubt nor waning affection had helped to darken the way.

Sweethearts and wives have such grand opportunities for showing their power that they need not stoop from the high standpoint, at which every truly noble-minded woman aims, in order to gratify petty vanity.

The girl _fiancée_ and the wife are alike unequal to lover or husband in mere physical strength. That is natural, and therefore right. But in time of trouble many a man, ready to sink under the weight of it, has gained new strength and courage from her whom he has hitherto deemed the weaker vessel. Her words may have been few, but they have always been suggestive of hope and cheer, and said at the right moment.

There has been no “I told you how it would be,” no allusion to mistakes made or the ignoring of advice which would have prevented them, but pity for him who is only too acutely conscious of all that has been wrong. Yet, when gloom and despair were about the man’s path and in his heart, both have fled before a wife’s devoted ministry and the light of love on her face. Perhaps she has told him that she knows their changed circumstances trouble him more on her account than on his own, but that, with him, she is strong to face them, and she proves it by patient endurance and by making the best of all things. He sees that she resolutely turns her face to the bright side—and I truly believe there always is a bright side—and thus she induces him to open his despairing eyes to the light, though as yet it may be only a distant glimmer hard to discern.

A man with such a helper to cheer him on will be heartened to try again, though he had given up hope. Her courage will make him a coward in his own eyes, so he will raise his listless hands and shoulder his load anew for her dear sake. He has felt that it would be impossible for him to hold up his head again amongst his fellows, but with the knowledge that a good girl or woman loves and trusts him, despair is impossible. She believes that the one defeat has taught him to mistrust himself, and that he will seek strength from God to fight again and to conquer.

Can you not, my dear girls, imagine a man ready to face, dare, or do anything in order to prove himself worthy of such whole-hearted affection and trust?

I have been asked whether the early or later years of married life are the happier. I think, nay, I am sure the later ones ought to be, if the union was first founded on love, faith, and respect. All these feelings should grow stronger as time goes on, and, just like the fair flowers that need the gardener’s care to perfect them, they should be carefully cultivated.

We show our love far more by the little things that go to make up the sum of happiness in everyday life, than by occasional great sacrifices.

The engaged girl carefully notes the likings and dislikes of her intended husband. She ministers to the one and will not provoke a manifestation of the other. She watches for a chance of doing something for him and giving him pleasure. Does she ever leave him abruptly, or allow him to leave her without an affectionate farewell?

Ah, no! We all know that the farewells of an affianced pair are apt to be long drawn out. The girl thinks that nothing can be too good for him who is dearest of all. No effort seems too great when it is seasoned by love.

If such is the case before marriage, how much more should the practice of all sweet observances and courteous habits, care in little things to avoid giving pain and to minister pleasure, be in constant evidence after marriage!

Little things are often the means of drawing people together in the first instance. It is much easier to win affection than to keep it, and, better still, to be conscious that it has grown and strengthened through the long years of married life. And it is only in the sanctuary of their home that husband and wife learn truly to know each other, and to grow into that perfect unity so rarely attained even by those whom we call happy couples.

It so often happens that people who are most scrupulous as to their “society manners,” forget to render ordinary courtesy to their own belongings. They seem to think anything is good enough for the home circle. Can there be a greater mistake? Those who are joined to us by the dearest of ties are surely the ones to whom everything we have of the best should be scrupulously rendered.

I was charmed a while ago, when I was talking with a mother of grown-up sons about her father. I had known her from her early teens, and we have been great friends always. It was beautiful to see her face light with pleasure as she said, “I was telling him only the other day that I never receive from anyone such perfect courtesy and attention as I do from my own dear father, and now he is eighty years old. But he has always, everywhere, and to every person, been the same.” And I, who had long experienced this, could endorse her words.

So, dear ones, keep your very best manners for home, and they will not fail you in other circles.

Dear girl wives, be as thoughtful for your husbands as you were for your lovers—and more. Do not let them miss the loving farewell when they go out to their daily battle with the world, whether it be in the field of commerce, the learned professions, art, or behind the counter.

In the humbler but no less useful fields of toil, the farm or the mill, the man will be cheered by the memory of loving words and the prospect of your welcoming face and kiss when he comes home weary, toil-worn, perchance downhearted.

And knowing how you will meet him, he will quicken his tired feet, that he may the sooner receive the greeting for which his heart longs. If he has good news to bring, the way will seem doubly long because of his eagerness to share it with you.

There are times when the best of men are almost too sad and weary to bear sympathy of the demonstrative sort, when everything seems to have gone wrong, and all they want is just to be left in peace for a while.

Real sympathy is many-sided, as you all know. It may be of the fussy sort, which cannot be satisfied without incessant expression, either in word or deed. Kindly meant, it is apt to jar on its object.

There may be more wisdom and no less sympathy shown by silence than by words. Thoughtful loving actions will not be lost on the weary, worried man of business, who has found it impossible to leave all his cares outside the threshold of home. I knew a man who used to say to his almost too sympathetic wife, “Let me be quiet a little, my dear, I want to think things out. I shall be all right by and by.”

Then the wife knew that kind words or the touch of a loving hand was better withheld, and possessed her soul in patience until the thinking out was done, and her husband was his bright self again.

The wife’s character should be great enough to grasp the greatest things that come within her province, yet comprehensive enough to stoop to the least. Do you wish to look upon a picture which represents a perfect wife? There is one drawn in words by an inspired writer. Turn to Proverbs xxxi., and read from the tenth verse to the end.

Note, first, her value. “Her price is far above rubies.” Her faithfulness. “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.”

Her devotion is of no fitful sort. “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

She is clever and far-seeing, and able to turn the means with which she has been entrusted to good account in her purchases of land and of goods.

She is industrious. “She riseth also while it is yet night.” “She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.”

She thinks and cares for those she rules for. “She giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.” “She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all ... are clothed with scarlet.”

In the midst of wealth and abundance she seeks out, and blesses by her bounty, those who are less favoured. Note the expression. “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.”

No niggardly giving here. She seeks rather than is sought by the poor. She is the cheerful giver whom God loveth.

She does not despise rich and beautiful clothing, becoming to her position. “Her clothing is silk and purple,” which she may well wear with satisfaction, seeing that she has cared for the needs of others both near and afar off. But she has better garments than the silk and purple, for “strength and honour are her clothing” also.

With all her strength, riches, commercial shrewdness and industry, she combines wisdom and kindness in deed and word. “In her tongue is the law of kindness.”

Good mistress! Good wife! Good mother! “She looketh well to the ways of her household.” “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”

Note the summing up of the whole matter. “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.... Let her own works praise her.”

What, save a life spent in the faith and fear of God, could furnish such a picture? What, save the grace of God and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, could be sufficient for such things?

And these must have been sought by prayer, and God’s blessing on the study of His Word.

I have said much to you, dear girl friends, of my own happy married life. Shall I tell you what made it so?

It was the being of one heart and one mind in the highest and best things. We knelt, prayed, worshipped, and worked as one, and love, trust, and true respect were the foundation of our union which grew ever closer and dearer with the years we spent together.

Of all the precious memories I retain of my wedded life, one stands out beyond the rest.

It was on the last day of it that _he_ bade me lie down by his side. Drawing me close to him, he held me in those dear, worn arms, as if he could not bear to loose the clasp, kissing me tenderly and repeatedly. Then, when he could no longer hold me for very weakness, he said, “Oh, my darling, my darling! Even you do not know how much I have loved you.”

Have I done right in drawing aside the veil, and showing to you, my dear girl friends, this picture of what was truly his farewell?

I hope it will not have been done in vain. People may talk as they will about the first whispered words of love and their sweetness. I can recall such to mind.

Think you that any or all of them are worth naming in comparison with those precious last words from dying lips, after so many years of wedded life and happiness together?

(_To be continued._)

FROCKS FOR TO-MORROW.

BY “THE LADY DRESSMAKER.”

One sign of high summer in London is an odd one, and that is the presence of handsome furs in the West-End shop-windows, where they may be seen any day after June has once begun. I used to think people bought them, even when the thermometer was registering 68° in the shade; but I have found cause to think that they are simply displayed in the window as a measure of safety, for light, sunshine, air, and dryness are the chief enemies of the moth, and both May and June are the worst of months in which they do their deadly work on the costliest of our raiment. In the shops where furs are kept, they are beaten with tiny canes, and exposed as much to the air and light as possible. So we may take a leaf from this open book, and perhaps save ourselves loss and disappointment. Of course, I do not mean that furs should be faded by exposure to the sun; but if they were really good and undyed, a little sunshine would not hurt them, though too much may do them harm.

This year furs were used up to June, as the weather remained cold till then; but there was not enough sun to do them harm. Nevertheless, I lean to the idea that they are best left off early, both for the health of the furs and of ourselves, many people being inclined to wear them too long. In the present month they will need attention—shaking, airing, and beating, and a general careful looking-over.

One of the most frequently remarked peculiarities of the present day is the kind of wobbling way adopted by many women and girls when they walk. They go from one foot to the other just like a duck. Now, I know I have said this before, but I am desirous of saying it again, because I am told that the matter is even more serious than I fancied, and that there are many more operations in the hospitals now than there were for various foot troubles. Also I have been informed that the number of chiropodists has trebled in London during the past three or four years—really since the pointed-toe shoes came into fashion. There is no doubt, as we look at one of these ungraceful walkers, that the reason lies either in their present or their past foot-gear. One of the most usual sources of trouble is our universal fashion of wearing too heavy shoes or boots, with too thick soles. In fact, they are altogether too thick and heavy for warm weather. A lighter shoe would be equally good and serviceable, and even if it _did_ get damp and need changing, we could manage this easily on our return home. Follow two rules in the choice of your shoes. Choose those which do not compress nor curl your toes under when wearing them, and remember that a shoe is as bad when too large as when too small. A thin stocking is better than a thick one; and I have seen many people recently who have obtained ease and comfort by dismissing merino, wool, and spun silk, and adopting cotton for winter, and thread for summer. I think a thick cotton stocking quite as warm as a thick woollen one.

The linen collar is far less used this season with blouses than it was last year. Instead we see lace ties, and lace and silk scarfs. It is wonderful how pretty an effect is produced by using a lace scarf and one or two paste brooches or pins, which look so well in the filmy folds of the lace. The lace has a far softer effect than the plain severe collar, and this is a question that every girl must consider for herself. An easy way is to have a long lace scarf, not more than five inches wide, and to put it on from the front to the back, crossing it there, and bringing the ends to the front, where they should be long enough to be tied under the chin in a lightly-knotted bow, in which may be placed some paste pins, or the tiny brooches so much used at present.

If I were asked what was the favourite colour, I should very certainly respond “Blue” to that question. But there are blues and blues; and I have seen so many that it is difficult to say which is the ruling hue. A very bright shade is certainly much liked, which is quite of the old Royal-blue description. Plaids and stripes are much on the increase, and I should not be surprised if we were to see a winter of them. These very narrow skirts are well suited to the cutting of striped materials, which are arranged with a seam in front and one at the back, the stripes meeting in points like arrow-heads at both these seams. There are also many spotted materials, and any number of ribbed and smooth cloths, of varying degrees of thickness. Serge, too, is much in evidence, and is as popular as ever, and so is woollen poplin and Venetian cloth. Satin is as much used, and as fashionable as it was; but fancy silks of all kinds seem to have been less liked than muslins were during the warmest days of the summer; while the satin-faced foulards were very pretty, but were not so popular as they promised to be.

The shoe most worn this season has been the Cromwell shoe, having a buckle for ordinary daily use with afternoon attire. But where evening dress is concerned, there has been a great development in luxury, and they are now made of brocade and velvet; and as to the buckles, you may expend any amount you like upon them, for they are sometimes set with precious stones, and are really beautiful. As yet, these shoes are exotics, and only worn by a few, but no doubt the brocaded ones have been copied from those of the time of Elizabeth, which have been shown at the various exhibitions held of late years.

There has been rather a revival in the fashion of cycling, which has recently suffered rather an eclipse, and there is a very great improvement in the style and cut of skirts for this exercise, and also in the general appearance of women a-wheel. The new method is to sit high and straight, with the handle-bars within easy reach; and there seems much less exertion in the management of the machine than when the seat was lower. The cut of the new skirts is so good that they hang down on either side of the machine quite straight, and there is plenty of room for pedalling without any of that ungraceful drawing up of the knees and of the skirt as well that used to be seen and is noticeable even yet when some careless rider passes us by. We have all, I suppose, read the Prime Minister’s speech about the ungracefulness of the attire used in wheeling, and I for one feel quite grateful to him for his plain speaking. So far as in each of us lies, we should strive to be graceful, and as pretty as possible, while on our favourite iron steed. The pattern of these skirts is sold at several paper pattern depôts, so they can be cut and made at home.

The seated figure in our illustration, which shows a simulated tunic trimming on the skirt, wears a pretty gown of pale grey summer-cloth, the bands on the skirt and on the gown bodice being of embroidered purple silk, while the vest in front is of pale green silk, and bands of cream-coloured silk embroidery on cream silk. The same embroidery heads the flounce at the bottom of the skirt. The lining of this gown is of purple silk; and it has a grey hat and grey and purple ostrich feathers to wear with it.

The group of “Three New Gowns” begins to show some slight evidences of autumnal styles, especially the lady in the centre, who wears a light fawn-coloured braided jacket, with a skirt of light brown cloth, which is scalloped with velvet of a darker shade, the lower flounce being embroidered also in silks of a darker brown. This is a charming autumnal costume for short visits and journeys in England. The hat is a sailor one, trimmed as these hats generally are at present, with more or less elaboration. The present one has trimmings of yellow chiffon, with wheatears laid over it.

The figure on the left hand wears an embroidered and ribbon-trimmed gown of black satin, the front of the skirt and vest being of pale lemon-coloured silk, with chiffon of the same hue, and bands of ribbon. The hat is of the new burnt straw, and is trimmed with white chiffon, with poppies and bunches of oats arranged amongst it. The right-hand figure wears one of the new scarf bodices, crossed over in front, a shirt-front of white silk, and a light green tie. The dress is of figured poplin, with bands of green silk on the skirt. The toque is of crinoline, with green and black chiffon, and black ostrich feathers.

The newest style is to have a neck and waist-band of a different colour from the rest of the dress. For instance, if the gown be mauve, the velvet at the neck or waist may be of pale blue or pale green, and with a black gown orange is much worn. There has been a great feeling towards mixed colours, and it is quite wonderful how we have got over the old idea that it was both vulgar and ugly to wear many colours, or to mix two incongruous materials in one gown.

The third illustration shows two charming gowns. The one on the extreme right wears one of the new satin foulards of dark blue, with a small white pattern on it. It is trimmed with light blue ribbon in scallops round the skirt and up the side, the sleeves, and the yoke. The last-named is of white silk, and so is the under-skirt. The second figure wears a dress of white figured muslin, the bodice trimmed with ruffles, and the vest is of tucked muslin. Straps of ribbon are on the top of the sleeve and round the points of the tunic and waist. The under-skirt is of muslin flounced, and with folds of muslin between each. This model would be suitable for a coloured muslin, as well as a white one.

The bolero has retained its popularity throughout the whole of the season, and has quite superseded the longer jacket for afternoon and dress wear. There are also revers to nearly all dresses. But I am assured that our autumn novelties will be minus both these items, and that the long three-quarter coat is likely to be the garment of the winter.

THE COURTSHIP OF CATHERINE WEST.