Chapter 17

LEANARD.

Yes, you see, Clara; you spoke about keeping one's word. Just because I am a man of my word I must answer you again as I have already answered once before. A week ago I wrote you a letter--you cannot deny it--there it lies! [_He hands her the letter, which she takes mechanically_.] I had reason--your brother--you say he is acquitted--I am glad of that! But during these eight days I have entered into a new relation. I had a right to do it, for you did not protest against my letter at the right time! I was free in my own conscience, as well as before the law. Now you come to me--but I have already given my promise and received another's! [_To himself._] I would it were so!--The other girl is already in the same predicament as you are! I am sorry for you, but [_He strokes her hair, and she permits it, as if she were absolutely unconscious of it_]--you understand?--One cannot trifle with the burgomaster!

CLARA (_absent-mindedly_).

Trifle with him!

LEONARD.

See! You are getting sensible! And as far as your father is concerned, you can say it boldly to his face that he alone is to blame. Do not stare at me so; do not shake your head! It is so, girl, it is so! Just tell him that! He'll understand it all right, and repent! I'll vouch for that! [_To himself._] Any man who gives away his daughter's dowry must not be surprised if she remains an old maid. When I think of that my back gets stiff, and I could wish that the old fellow were here to receive a lecture. Why must I be such a monster?--Only because he was a fool! Whatever happens as a result of that, he is to blame for it! That is obvious!

[_To CLARA._]

Or would you prefer to have me talk with him myself? For your sake I will risk a black eye and go to him. He may be rough with me, he may throw the boot-jack at my head, but he will have to swallow the truth in spite of the stomach-ache it gives him, and let you rest in peace!--Is he at home?

CLARA (_stands up straight_).

I thank you!

[_Starts to go._]

LEONARD.

Shall I go over with you? I have the courage!

CLARA.

I thank you as I would thank a serpent which had wound itself around me and unwound itself and sprung away again, because another prey enticed it. I know that I have been bitten, I know that it deserts me only because it does not seem worth the trouble to suck out what little marrow there is left in my bones. But still I thank the snake, for now I shall have a quiet death. Yes, man, I am not mocking; to me it is as if I had seen through your breast down into the abyss of hell, and whatever may be my lot in the awful eternity to come, I shall never have anything more to do with you, and that is a consolation! And just as the unfortunate person whom a viper has stung cannot be blamed for opening his veins in terror and disgust, in order that his poisoned blood may stream swiftly forth, so perhaps God in His everlasting mercy will take pity on me when He looks down upon you and me and sees what you have made of me! For how _could_ I do it, when I never, never _should_ have done it?--One thing more: My father knows nothing, he does not even suspect anything! And that he may never find out I shall quit the world this very day! If I thought for one moment that you [_she takes a step, wildly, toward him_]--oh, but that is foolishness! You would be only all the better pleased to see them all stand and shake their heads and inquire in vain of one another why it happened!

LEONARD.

Things will happen--what is one to do, Clara?

CLARA.

Away from here! The man can talk!

[_She starts to go._]

LEONARD.

Do you think that I believe you?

CLARA.

No!

LEONARD.

Thank God, you cannot be a suicide without being an infanticide as well!

CLARA.

Better both than a parricide! Oh, I know that one cannot atone for one sin with another! But what I now do affects me alone! If I hand the knife to my father the blow strikes him as well as me! It strikes me in any case! That gives me courage and strength in all my distress! Things will go well with you on earth!

[_Exit._]