Chapter 2

VAL. Ah! my poor Sganarelle, how glad I am to see you! I want your help in a most important business, but as I do not know what you can do ...

SGAN. What I can do, sir? Only make use of me in your more important business, in things of consequence: for instance, send me to see what time it is by the clock; send me to the market to ask the price of butter; send me to water a horse; it is then that you will be able to judge of my talents.

VAL. I ask for none of these things, I want you to play the part of a doctor.

SGAN. I, a doctor, sir! I am ready to do all you please, but as for being a doctor, I say no; I am your servant, I will be nothing of the kind. I ask you how I should set about it; goodness me, sir, you are only laughing at me.

VAL. If you will try, I will give you ten pistoles.

SGAN. Ah! ten pistoles; well, I won't say I am no doctor, for you see, sir, I am not so scrupulous as to tell you the whole truth. But supposing I am a doctor, where shall I go?

VAL. To the old man Gorgibus, to see his daughter who is ill; but you are a blockhead who, instead of doing what we want, might ...

SGAN. Ah! sir, don't be anxious; I'll answer for it that I can kill anybody as well as any doctor in the town. The proverb usually is, "after death comes the doctor," but you will see that if I have anything to do with it, it will be, "after the doctor comes death!" But now, while I think of it, it must be difficult to play the doctor; and if I do nothing right...?

VAL. There will be nothing difficult to do in this case. Gorgibus is a simpleton, a boor, who will readily believe everything you say, provided you speak to him of Hippocrates, of Galen, and that you have brass enough.

SGAN. You mean that I shall have to speak of philosophy and mathematics. Leave that to me; if he is a man as easily deceived as you say, I answer for everything. You have only to find me a doctor's gown, tell me what you expect from me, and give me my diploma, that is, my ten pistoles. (_Exeunt_ VALÈRE _and_ SGANARELLE.)