The Fat of the Land: The Story of an American Farm

Chapter 15

Chapter 151,642 wordsPublic domain

POLLY'S JUDGMENT HALL

Before closing the books, we should take account of stock, to see what we had purchased with our money. Imprimis: 320 acres of good land, satisfactory to the eye, well fenced and well groomed; 3400 apple trees, so well planted as to warrant a profitable future; a water and sewer system as good as a city could supply; farm buildings well planned and sufficient for the day; an abundance of food for all stock, and to spare; an intelligent and willing working force; machinery for more than present necessity; eight excellent horses and their belongings; six cows, moderately good; two pigs and two score fowls, to be eaten before spring, and _a lot of fun_. What price I shall have to put against this last item to make the account balance, I can tell better when I foot the other side of the ledger.

But first I must add a few items to the debit account. Moving the cottage cost $30. I paid $134 for grass seed and seed rye. The wage account for six men and two women for five months was $735. Their food account was $277. Of course the farm furnished milk, cream, butter, vegetables, some fruit, fresh pork, poultry, and eggs. There were also some small freight bills, which had not been accounted for, amounting to $31, and $8 had been spent in transportation for the men. Then the farm must be charged with interest on all money advanced, when I had completed my additions. The rate was to be five per cent, and the time three months.

On the last day of the year I went to the farm to pay up to date all accounts. I wished to end the year with a clean score. I did not know what the five months had cost me (I would know that evening), but I did know that I had had "the time of my life" in the spending, and I would not whine. I felt a little nervous when I thought of going over the figures with Polly,--she was such a judicious spender of money. But I knew her criticism would not be severe, for she was hand-in-glove with me in the project. I tried to find fault with myself for wastefulness, but some excellent excuse would always crop up. "Your water tower is unnecessary." "Yes, but it adds to the landscape, and it has its use." "You have put up too much fencing." "True, but I wanted to feel secure, and the old fences were such nests of weeds and rubbish." "You have spent too much money on the farm-house." "I think not, for the laborer is worthy of his hire, and also of all reasonable creature comforts." And thus it went on. I would not acknowledge myself in the wrong; nor, arguing how I might, could I find aught but good in my labors. I devoutly hoped to be able to put the matter in the same light when I stood at the bar in Polly's judgment hall.

The day was clear, cool, and stimulating. A fair fall of snow lay on the ground, clean and wholesome, as country snow always is. I wished that the house was finished (it was not begun), and that the family was with me in it. "Another Christmas time will find us here, God willing, and many a one thereafter."

I spent three hours at the farm, doing a little business and a lot of mooning, and then returned to town. The children were off directly after dinner, intent on holiday festivities, so that Polly and I had the house to ourselves. I felt that we needed it. I invited my partner into the den, lighted a pipe for consolation, unlocked the drawer in which the farm ledger is kept, gave a small deprecatory cough, and said:--

"My dear, I am afraid I have spent an awful lot of money in the last five months. You see there is such a quantity of things to do at once, and they run into no end of money. You know, I--"

"Of course I know it, and I know that you have got the worth of it, too."

Wouldn't that console you! How was I to know that Polly would hail from that quarter? I would have kissed her hand, if she would have permitted such liberty; I kissed her lips, and was ready to defend any sum total which the ledger dare show.

"Do you know how much it is?" said Polly.

"Not within a million!" I was reckless then, and hoped the total would be great, for had not Polly said that she knew I had got the worth of my money? And who was to gainsay her? "It is more than I planned for, I know, but I do not see how I could use less without losing precious time. We started into this thing with the theory that the more we put into it, without waste, the more we would ultimately get out of it. Our theory is just as sound to-day as it was five months ago."

"We will win out all right in the end, Mr. Headman, for we will not put the price-mark on health, freedom, happiness, or fun, until we have seen the debit side of the ledger."

"How much do you want to spend for the house?" said I.

"Do you mean the house alone?"

"No; the house and carriage barn. I'll pay for the trees, shrubs, and kickshaws in the gardens and lawns."

"You started out with a plan for a $10,000 house, didn't you? Well, I don't think that's enough. You ought to give me $15,000 for the house and barn and let me see what I can do with it; and you ought to give it to me right away, so that you cannot spend it for pigs and foolish farm things."

"I'll do it within ten days, Polly; and I won't meddle in your affairs if you will agree to keep within the limit."

"It's a bargain," said Polly, "and the house will be much more livable than this one. What do you think we could sell this one for?"

"About $33,000 or $34,000, I think."

"And will you sell it?"

"Of course, if you don't object."

"Sell, to be sure; it would be foolish to keep it, for we'll be country folk in a year."

"I have a theory," said I, "that when we live on the farm we ought to credit the farm with what it costs us for food and shelter here,--providing, of course, that the farm feeds and shelters us as well."

"It will do it a great deal better. We will have a better house, better food, more company, more leisure, more life, and more everything that counts, than we ever had before."

"We'll fix the value of those things when we've had experience," said I. "Now let's get at the figures. I tell you plainly that I don't know what they foot up,--less than $40,000, I hope."

"Don't let's worry about them, no matter what they say."

This from prudent, provident Polly!

"Certainly not," said I, as bold as a lion.

"There are thirty-five items on the debit side of the ledger and a few little ones on the credit side. Hold your breath while I add them.

"I have spent $44,331 and have received $953, which leaves a debit balance of $43,378."

"That isn't so awfully bad, when you think of all the fun you've had."

"Fun comes high at this time of the year, doesn't it, Polly?"

"Much depends on what you call high. You have waited and worked a long time for this. I won't say a word if you spend all you have in the world. It's yours."

"Mine and yours and the children's; but I won't spend it all. Seventy or seventy-five thousand dollars, besides your house and barn money, shall be my limit. There is still an item of interest to be added to this account.

"Interest! Why, John Williams, do you mean to tell me that you borrowed this money? I thought it was your own to do as you liked with. Have you got to pay interest on it?"

"It was mine, but I loaned it to the farm. Before I made this loan I was getting five per cent on the money. I must now look to the farm for my five per cent. If it cannot pay this interest promptly, I shall add the deferred payment to the principal, and it shall bear interest. This must be done each year until the net income from the farm is greater than the interest account. Whatever is over will then be used to reduce the principal."

"That's a long speech, but I don't think it's very clear. I don't see why a man should pay interest on his own money. The farm is yours, isn't it? You bought it with your own money, didn't you? What difference does it make whether you charge interest or not?"

"Not the least difference in the world to us, Polly, but a great deal to the experiment."

"Oh, yes, I forgot the experiment. And how much interest do you add?"

"Five hundred and forty-two dollars. Also, $75 to the lawyer and $5 for recording the deed, making the whole debt of the farm to me $44,000 even."

"Does it come out just even $44,000? I believe you've manipulated the figures."

"Not on your life! Add them yourself. They were put down at all sorts of times during the past five months. My dear, I wish you a good-night and a happy New Year. You have given me a very happy ending for the old one."