Part 8

The surest method of detecting ignorance and inability, is to put arrogant pretenders to the test, and appreciate their claims by a fair trial; and when those who assume the merit due to works of ingenuity, refuse to prove their title by a display of their talents, we may well conclude that their pretensions are unfounded, and that they are mere impostors. When men, who are at the head of national affairs, will not be at the pains to find out merit (for men of that character are too modest to obtrude themselves) they will be surrounded by a swarm of idle, impudent, good-for-nothing drones; and these too often succeed in obtaining those benefits which should be the reward of men of parts, integrity, and industry.

THE FROG AND THE FOX.

A Frog leaping out of the lake, and taking the advantage of a rising ground, made a proclamation to all the beasts of the forest, that he was an able physician, and for curing all manner of distempers, would turn his back to no person living. This discourse, with the aid of some hard cramp words, which nobody understood, made the beasts admire his learning, and give credit to every thing he said. At last, the Fox, who was present, with indignation asked him, how he could have the impudence, with those thin lanthorn jaws, that meagre pale phiz, and blotched spotted body, to pretend to cure the infirmities of others?

APPLICATION.

A sickly and infirm look is as disadvantageous in a physician, as a rakish one in a clergyman, or a sheepish one in a soldier. We should not set up for correctors of the faults of others, whilst we labour under the same ourselves. Good advice ought always to be followed, without our being prejudiced upon account of the person from whom it comes; but it is seldom that men can be brought to think us worth minding, when we prescribe cures for maladies with which we ourselves are afflicted. Physician heal thyself, is too scriptural, not to be applied upon such an occasion; and if we would avoid being the jest of an audience, we must be sound and free from those diseases of which we would endeavour to cure others. How shocked must people have been to hear a preacher for a whole hour declaim against drunkenness, when his own weaknesses have been such, that he could neither bear nor forbear drinking, and perhaps was the only person in the congregation who made the doctrine at that time necessary! Others, too, have been very zealous in censuring crimes, of which none were suspected more than themselves: but let such silly hypocrites remember, that they whose eyes want couching, are the most improper people in the world to set up for oculists.

THE CAT AND THE MICE.

A certain house being much infested with Mice, a Cat was at length procured, who very diligently hunted after them, and killed great numbers every night. The Mice, being exceedingly alarmed at this destruction among their family, consulted together upon what was best to be done for their preservation against so terrible and cruel an enemy. After some debate, they came to the resolution, that no one should, in future, descend below the uppermost shelf. The Cat, observing their extreme caution, endeavoured to draw them down to their old haunts by stratagem, for which purpose, she suspended herself by her hinder legs upon a peg in the pantry, and hoped by this trick to lull their suspicions, and to entice them to venture within her reach. She had not long been in this posture, before a cunning old Mouse peeped over the edge of the shelf, and squeaked out thus: Aha! Mrs Puss, are you there then? There may you be; but I would not trust myself with you, though your skin were stuffed with straw.

APPLICATION.

We cannot be too much upon our guard against fraud and imposition of every kind; and prudence in many cases would rather counsel us to forego some advantages, than endeavour to gain them at a risk of which we cannot certainly ascertain the amount. We should more particularly suspect some design in the professions of those who have once injured us; and though they may promise fairly for the future, it is no breach of charity to doubt their sincerity, and decline their proposals, however plausible they may appear; for experience shews that many of the misfortunes which we experience through life, are caused by our own too great credulity.

THE OAK AND THE REED.

An Oak, which hung over the bank of a river, was blown down by a violent storm of wind, and as it was carried along by the stream, some of its boughs brushed against a Reed which grew near the shore. This struck the Oak with a thought of admiration, and he could not forbear asking the Reed how he came to stand so secure and unhurt, in a tempest which had been furious enough to tear up an Oak by the roots? Why, says the Reed, I secure myself by a conduct the reverse of yours: instead of being stubborn and stiff, and confiding in my strength, I yield and bend to the blast, and let it go over me, knowing how vain and fruitless it would be to resist.

APPLICATION.

Though a tame submission to injuries which it is in our power to redress, be generally esteemed a base and dishonourable thing, yet to resist where there is no probability, or even hope of getting the better, may also be looked upon as the effect of a blind temerity, and perhaps of a weak understanding. The strokes of fortune are oftentimes as irresistible as they are severe, and he who with an impatient spirit fights against her, instead of alleviating, does but double the blows upon himself. A person of a quiet still temper, whether it be given him by nature, or acquired by art, calmly composes himself in the midst of a storm, so as to elude the shock, or receive it with the least detriment,--like a prudent experienced sailor, who, in swimming to the shore from a wrecked vessel, in a swelling sea, does not oppose the fury of the waves, but stoops and gives way, that they may roll over his head without obstruction. The doctrine of absolute submission in all cases, is an absurd dogmatical precept, with nothing but ignorance and superstition to support it; but, upon particular occasions, and where it is impossible for us to overcome, to submit patiently is one of the most reasonable maxims of life.

FORTUNE AND THE BOY.

A School Boy, fatigued with play, laid himself down by the brink of a deep well, where he fell fast asleep. Fortune, whose wheel is always in motion, passing by, kindly gave him a tap on the head, and awoke him. My good boy, said she, arise and depart from this dangerous situation immediately; for if you had tumbled into this well, and been drowned, your friends would not have attributed the accident to your carelessness, but would have laid the whole blame upon me.

APPLICATION.

Mankind suffer more evils from their own imprudence, than from events which it is not in their power to controul; but they are ever ready to complain of the perverseness of chance, and the capriciousness of fortune, and to impute the blame to her for whatever mischiefs may befal them, when these clearly arise from their own misconduct. Few men pass through life without having had reason at one time or another to thank Fortune for her favours; and great is the number of those who have, through their own folly, indolence, or inattention, neglected to profit by her kindness. Prudent people take every care not to put themselves in the power of accidents; but those who carelessly give up all their concerns to the guidance of blind chance, must not be surprised if by some of the revolutions of Fortune’s wheel, they feel the punishment due to their negligence and folly.

THE WOLF AND THE CRANE.

A Wolf, after devouring his prey, happened to have a bone stick in his throat, which gave him so much pain, that he went howling up and down, and importuning every creature he met to lend him a kind hand in order to his relief; nay, he promised a reasonable reward to any one who should perform the operation with success. At last, the Crane undertook the business, ventured his long neck into the rapacious felon’s throat, plucked out the bone, and asked for the promised reward. The Wolf, turning his eyes disdainfully towards him, said, I did not think you had been so unconscionable: I had your head in my mouth, and could have bit it off whenever I pleased, but suffered you to take it away without any damage, and yet you are not contented!

Who serves a villain, might as wisely free The hardened murderer from the fatal tree.

APPLICATION.

There are people in the world to whom it may be wrong to do services, upon a double score: first, because they never deserve to have a good office done them; and secondly, because when once engaged, it is so hard a matter to get well rid of their acquaintance. We ought to consider what kind of people they are, to whom we are desired to do good offices, before we do them: for he that grants a favour, or even confides in a person of no honour, instead of finding his account in it, comes off well, if he be no sufferer in the end.

THE HART AND THE VINE.

A Hart being closely pursued by the Hunters, concealed himself under the broad leaves of a shady Vine. When the Hunters were gone by, and had given him over for lost, he thinking himself very secure, began to crop and eat the leaves of his shelter. By this, the branches being put into a rustling motion drew the attention of some of the Hunters that way, who seeing the Vine stir, and fancying some wild beast had taken covert there, shot their arrows at a venture, and killed the Deer. Before he expired, he uttered his dying words to this purpose: “Ah!” says he, “I suffer justly for my ingratitude; because I could not forbear doing an injury to the Vine, which so kindly concealed me in time of danger.”

APPLICATION.

There is no maxim which deserves more frequent repetition, and if the heart be capable of amendment by precept and admonition, no virtue should be more strongly enforced and recommended than gratitude. Where sentiments of this kind are wanting, our natures soon become debased, and our minds depraved. Ingratitude has ever been justly branded as the blackest of crimes, and, as it were, comprehending all other vices within it. Nor can we say that this opinion is too severe: for if a man be capable of injuring his benefactor, what will he scruple doing towards another? We may fairly conclude that he who is guilty of ingratitude, will not hesitate at any other crime of an inferior nature. Since there are no human laws to punish this infamous prevailing vice, it would only be doing an act of justice, and supplying the want, to point out criminals of this description to the reprobation of mankind, that men of worth might avoid all intercourse and communication with them. The ingrate should also bear in mind, that he strips himself of the protection which might have been afforded by his friends, and exposes himself to the shafts of his enemies, who will not fail to take advantage of the defenceless state to which his folly and depravity have reduced him.

THE HUNTED BEAVER.

A Beaver, having strayed far from his dwelling, (which it is well known these animals construct with infinite sagacity) was closely pursued by the hunters, and knowing that he was thus persecuted for the sake of the castor, which is contained in two little bags placed underneath and near the tail, he, with great resolution and presence of mind, bit them off with his teeth, and leaving them behind him, thus escaped with his life.

APPLICATION.

It is in vain for individuals to contend against an overwhelming power, and an ineffectual resistance to violence only tends to double our sufferings. When life is pursued, and in danger, whoever values it should give up every thing but his honour to preserve it; and there can be no disgrace in yielding voluntarily to our persecutors, when we are certain that resistance is in vain: but this doctrine can seldom be applied to the case of a whole nation, for when tyranny and rapine are making their wicked strides over a country (as has sometimes happened even in Europe) the people would seldom fail to rid themselves of their oppressors, if they resolved to rise as one man, and bravely oppose them.

THE ASS AND THE LION HUNTING.

The Lion, having thinned the forest of great numbers of the beasts upon which he preyed, and so scared and intimidated the rest, that he found it very difficult to get hold of any more of them, bethought himself of a new expedient to obtain more readily a fresh supply. He invited the Ass to assist him in his plan, and gave him instructions how to act. Go, said the Lion, and hide thyself in yonder thicket, and then let me hear thee bray in the most frightful manner thou possibly canst. The stratagem took effect accordingly. The Ass brayed most hideously, and the timorous beasts, not knowing what to think of it, began to scour off as fast as they could; when the Lion, who was posted at a proper avenue, seized and killed them as he pleased. Having got his belly full, he called out to the Ass, and bade him leave off, telling him he had done enough. Upon this, the long-eared brute came out of his ambush, and approaching the Lion, asked him, with an air of conceit, how he liked his performance? Prodigiously! says he, you did it so well, that I protest had I not known your nature and temper, I might have been frightened myself.

APPLICATION.

A bragging cowardly fellow may impose upon people that do not know him; but is the greatest jest imaginable to those who do. There are many men who appear very terrible and big in their manner of expressing themselves, and if you could be persuaded to take their own word for it, are perfect Lions; but if we take the pains to enquire a little into their true nature, are as arrant Asses as ever brayed.

THE SOW AND THE BITCH.

A Sow and a Bitch happening to meet, a debate arose between them concerning their fruitfulness. The Bitch insisted upon it, that she brought forth more at a litter, and oftener, than any other four-legged creature. Nay, said the Sow, you do not do so, for others are as prolific as you; and besides, you are always in such a hurry, that you bring your puppies into the world blind.

APPLICATION.

It is no wonder that our productions should come into the world blind or lame, or otherwise defective, when by forced or unnatural methods we accelerate their birth, and impatiently refuse to let them go their full time. Then it is that the excellent proverb of the more haste the worse speed, is felt and fully verified. This Fable has been pointed at those authors whose itch for scribbling has been an annoyance to the world, rather than of any real use to it; and who have been proud of, and boasted of the numerous but flimsy productions of their vain and shallow brains. It is proper to put such people in mind, that it is not he who does most, but he who does the best, that will meet the approbation of mankind.

THE SATYR AND THE TRAVELLER.

A Satyr, as he was ranging the forest in an exceeding cold snowy season, met with a Traveller half-starved with the extremity of the weather. He took compassion on him, and kindly invited him home to a warm cave he had in the hollow of a rock. As soon as they had entered and sat down, notwithstanding there was a good fire in the place, the chilly Traveller could not forbear blowing his fingers. Upon the Satyr asking him why he did so? He answered, that he did it to warm his hands. The honest Sylvan having seen little of the world, admired a man who was master of so valuable a quality as that of blowing heat; and therefore resolved to entertain him in the best manner he could. He spread the table with dried fruits of several sorts, and produced a remnant of old cordial wine, which he mulled with some warm spices over the fire, and presented to his shivering guest. But this the Traveller thought fit to blow upon likewise; and when the Satyr demanded a reason why he did so, he replied, to cool his dish. This second answer provoked the Satyr’s indignation as much as the first had kindled his surprise; so, taking the man by the shoulders, he thrust him out of the place, saying, he would have nothing to do with a wretch who had so vile a quality as to blow hot and cold with the same breath.

APPLICATION.

Nothing can be more offensive to a man of a sincere honest heart, than he who blows with different breaths from the same mouth: who flatters a man to his face, and reviles him behind his back. Such double-dealing false friends ought and will always be considered as unworthy of being treated otherwise than as worthless and disagreeable persons: for unless the tenor of a man’s life be always true and consistent with itself, the less one has to do with him the better. It is unfortunately too common with persons of this cast of character, in the exalted stations of life, to serve a present view, or perhaps only the caprice or whim of the moment, to blow nothing but what is warm, benevolent, and cherishing, to raise up the expectations of a dependent to the highest degree; and when they suspect he may prove troublesome, they then, by a sudden cold forbidding air, easily blast all his hopes and expectations: but such a temper, whether it proceed from a designed or natural levity, is detestable, and has been the cause of much trouble and mortification to many a brave deserving man.

THE FOX AND THE GRAPES.

A hungry Fox coming into a vineyard where there hung delicious clusters of ripe Grapes, his mouth watered to be at them; but they were nailed up to a trellis so high, that with all his springing and leaping he could not reach a single bunch. At last, growing tired and disappointed, Let who will take them! says he, they are but green and sour; so I’ll e’en let them alone.

APPLICATION.

To affect to despise that which they have long ineffectually laboured to obtain, is the only consolation to which weak minds can have recourse, both to palliate their inability, and to take off the bitterness of disappointment. There is a strange propensity in mankind to this temper, and there is a numerous class of vain coxcombs in the world, who, because they would never be thought to be disappointed in any of their pursuits, pretend a dislike to every thing they cannot obtain. The discarded statesman, considering the corruption of the times, would not have any hand in the administration of affairs for the world! The needy adventurer, and pretended patriot, would fain persuade all who will listen to them, that they would not go cringing and creeping into a drawing-room, for the best place the king has in his disposal! Worthless young fellows, who find that their addresses to virtue and beauty are rejected; and poor rogues who laugh to scorn the rich and great, are all alike in saying, like sly Reynard, the Grapes are sour!

THE MISCHIEVOUS DOG.

A certain Man had a Dog which was so ferocious and surly, that he was compelled to fasten a heavy clog to his collar, to keep him from running at and indiscriminately seizing upon every animal that came in his way. This the vain Cur took for a badge of honourable distinction, and grew so insolent upon it, that he looked down with an air of scorn upon the neighbouring Dogs, and refused to keep them company: but a sly old poacher, who was one of the gang, assured him that he had no reason to value himself upon the favour he wore, since it was fixed upon him as a badge of disgrace, not of honour.

APPLICATION.

The only true way of estimating the value of tokens of distinction, is to reflect on what account they were conferred. Those which have been acquired for virtuous actions, will be regarded as illustrious signs of dignity; but if they have been bestowed upon the worthless and base, as the reward of vice or corruption, all the stars and garters, and collars of an illustrious order,--all the tinsel glories in which such creatures may strut about in fancied superiority, will not mask them from the sight of men of discernment, who will always consider the means by which their honours have been obtained, and truly estimate them as badges of abasement and disgrace.

THE BULL AND THE GOAT.

A Bull being pursued by a Lion, fled towards a cave, in which he designed to secure himself; but was opposed at the entrance by a Goat, who had got possession before him, and, threatening a kind of defiance with his horns, seemed resolved to dispute the pass. The Bull, who thought he had no time to lose in a contest of this nature, immediately made off; but told the Goat, that it was not for fear of him or his defiances: for, says he, if the Lion were not so near, I would soon teach you the difference between a Bull and a Goat.

APPLICATION.

O’er-match’d, unaided, and his foes at hand, Safely the coward may the brave withstand; But think not, dastard, thus thy glories shine-- He fears a greater force, but scoffs at thine.

It is very inhuman to deny succour and comfort to people in tribulation; but to insult them, and add to their misfortunes, is something superlatively brutish and cruel. There is, however, in the world, a sort of people of this vile temper, and littleness of mind, who wait for an opportunity of aggravating their neighbour’s affliction, and defer the execution of their evil inclinations until they can do it with the severest effect. If a person suffer under an expensive law-suit, lest he should escape from that, one of these gentlemen will take care to arrest him in a second action, hoping, at least, to keep him at bay, while the more powerful adversary attacks him on the other side. One cannot consider this temper, without observing something remarkably cowardly in it: for these shuffling antagonists never begin their encounter till they are very sure the person they aim at is already over-matched.

THE FISHERMAN.

A certain Fisherman having laid his nets in the river, and placed them across the whole stream from one side to the other, took a long pole, and fell to beating the water to make the fish strike into his nets. One of his neighbours seeing him do so, wondered what he meant, and going up to him, Friend, says he, what are you doing here? Do you think it is to be suffered that you shall stand splashing and dashing the water, and making it so muddy, that it is not fit for use? Who do you think can live at this rate? He was going on in a great fury, when the other interrupted him, and replied, I do not much trouble myself how you are to live with my doing this; but I assure you I cannot live without it.

APPLICATION.