Part 5

It may be objected that the sick-room is not a place for the waitress--that the trained nurse is also the waitress of her patient. This is often true, for in cases of extreme illness it is many times unsafe to allow the confusion of voices with the noise of movement which accompanies the entrance of one unaccustomed to invalids. There are, however, numerous instances of transient illness or indisposition which are to be considered. If a little girl has had croup in the night, and must be kept in bed the next day, a nurse is not sent for; or if a boy goes swimming too early in the season, and has such a cold after it that he cannot get up, it will not be considered necessary to bring some one in from outside to take care of him. Then there are convalescents after an illness, and elderly persons who perhaps two 100 or three times a week may need to breakfast in bed. Enough cases to make it worth while for a waitress to consider as a part of her training the proper way to conduct herself in the sick-room.

The nearer she brings her work to perfection in other departments, the nearer perfection will she be in this.

The first thing to consider will be the nicety of her appearance and the absence of noise. If she has been out in the street to do an errand, she will on no account hasten to the sick-room with a tray before she has replaced by her soft shoes the heavier ones which may have a squeak in them. And she will at no time go hastily into a sick-room. She will open the door as softly as a nurse herself would do, and move as noiselessly when she is in the room. She will not express by her looks that she thinks a patient is worse than the day before, or say, in what she calls a whisper, as she goes out, “She looks a good deal paler,” or, “I really believe he is going to be 101 down sick.”

The tray taken to an invalid should be studied as carefully as the table in the dining-room. A trained eye will let no spot or stain on the dining-room linen escape it; nor will a trained waitress fail to replace a spotted cloth by a fresh one. On a tray cloth a coffee stain or a fruit stain is not at all sure to escape notice because it is covered by a plate or a saucer. That plate or that saucer is the very one that will surely be lifted, and the stain will jar the sense of neatness, which grows more keen when one is shut in from all outside things which in health claim the attention.

Selection of china and glass is another important matter. A cup of one pattern set in a saucer of another pattern is an offence to the invalid’s eye, and to let a person suffering with pain put to his lips a glass with a piece chipped out of the edge is a cruelty.

In the service offered to an invalid the same is true as of all other 102 service. If it be done by rule and method, as if by the working of machinery that has no heart in it, it will fall far short of what it might easily be made by a little care and thoughtfulness. If, for instance, a chop--which it is well understood the patient must eat plain--be served with a little bunch of cress, the fresh green feeds the eye, and the invalid is conscious that thought has been given to her pleasure as well as to her needs. A whole train of sad and weary thoughts has been changed by one cheerful yellow pansy hastily dropped on a tray so that it lay smiling between a cup and a cream jug.

A waitress who cares how she does her work in the sick-room and out of it will soon find that the attention she gives is appreciated. It will not be long before china closets which have been locked will be opened, old glass will be brought out for occasional use, and great pleasure expressed by its owners that it is again possible to have it handled without fear of its being destroyed. This care bestowed upon 103 inanimate things is one indication of a truthful character, and the waitress will find herself treated, not like one who must be watched and in a sense suspected, but with the confidence which is her right, and which will give her the sense of being an individual, not merely part of the household machinery.

When confidence in her is once established there are many ways by which it will be expressed. She will be asked to execute little commissions given only to one who can be thoroughly relied upon. She may be left in charge of the house, with the direction of other workers under her, or she may be asked to go to the country-house to direct and assist in its arrangement before the family take up their summer residence there.

All this will give variety to what otherwise might be in danger of becoming a trifle monotonous; but it is not the variety which is the greatest advantage. It is the fact that she is not a mere worker, not a machine which may do its work with absolute exactness, never losing 104 a minute, and always being in its own place. She will do her work with exactness, and may be relied upon like a machine; but she will also use her power to help, to suggest, and to put in motion forces outside of herself and her routine.

When the best relationship has been established between employers and those who are employed, the question of change will assume a very different aspect. Questions which ordinarily make an end of any contract entered into will be simply the subject of explanation, or at the most of arbitration, and although others may come and go, the waitress will stay on year after year.

When she does decide to go she will leave with regret what has been to her really a home, and, on the part of her employer, the most genuine regret will be felt and expressed. Great interest will be taken in all that concerns her future welfare, gifts will be prepared by each member of the household, the wedding will be made merry, and good 105 wishes will follow her to the new home, where it will be hoped that she may have as much comfort as she has given to others during her years of faithful work as a waitress.

Truthfulness in the Waitress 106

A waitress should be truthful in spirit, as well as truthful regarding the letter of her contract. We are told sometimes that this is impossible; that it is necessary to tell some falsehoods in order to secure a good place, or to keep one after being in it for a time. But this is not so. An expert waitress need never be without a place, and she need never stay in a place for lack of another after real difficulties have arisen in her way.

How do I know this? Because perfect service never goes a-begging, and if her work is perfect there will always be a demand for it. Think of our servants of the public--the clergy and the doctors. Does a minister who satisfies his congregation ever lack a congregation? Does a successful doctor have to drive about looking for patients? We know 107 very well that he does not; we know that his office is crowded day after day. How did he come to be successful? First he studied, and then he practised, and when he began to practise he found that there were many things which he did not know. Was he content with the knowledge he had acquired? By no means. He studied more, and put the new knowledge into practice. How did he gain the entire confidence of the persons he serves? By doing well what he professed to do, and by being ready for any emergency. And this is what a waitress must do. First she must study, then she must practise, then she must study more and practise more, and she must be equal to emergencies.

If word comes to a doctor that a child has fallen down-stairs and broken its arm, does the doctor send back word that his hours are over and he cannot go to the child? And if an accident happens in the waitress’s department--if a piece of ceiling falls, for instance, when she is about to go up to bed--will she say that her hours are 108 over, and some one else must clean up the mortar in the pantry? If the doctor thinks he is all through for the evening and another patient comes in, will he dismiss the late comer without a word? And if, after a table is all laid, an extra guest comes in, will the waitress fail to lay another cover quietly and quickly?

Yes, many will say, so many patients, so much money. But it is not so. The persons who take up a doctor’s time and try his patience almost beyond words are often those who have no idea of the value of his time, and who have no money to pay him for it.

When a maid calls herself a waitress she is not truthful unless she has studied her work until she is familiar with it, and this familiarity can come only after some amount of practice.

Truthfulness includes honesty, and to be honest means very much more than being above taking money or jewels which belong to others. To be 109 true and honest in spirit is to have an intelligent care of whatever is put in a worker’s charge and which belongs to her department. It is not honest to let a beautiful damask cloth with a little rent in it go to the laundress without first reporting the rent to the owner of the cloth. It is not honest to let a fine carver rust for lack of attention at the proper time. It is not true that no gas is wasted when a gas stove is left partly turned on all night near an open window.

We have often heard that time is money. Now if one does not understand her work as she may understand it if she will study, she is constantly taking other people’s time, which we are told is other people’s money.

That all the world is not honest, that we are not always treated from the standpoint of strictly fair dealing, makes no difference to her. She is not other people, she is herself.

Among the men in one of our Eastern States whose business it is to lay stone walls is one who has an especial talent for the work. Stones 110 of any shape answer his purpose. He does not ask any direction, he does not have to make any measurements, or use any stakes or a line to lay his stones by. And in the whole State there are no such beautiful walls as this man lays. Does he ever have to tell a falsehood in order to get work? Does he ever talk about other persons interfering with him? Or does he need to care what other persons think? He does his work so much better than other men that it will always be sought. And although he has a special talent for it, he does not let that make him careless. His is true work, honest work, and so long as he keeps his health and there are stone walls to lay he need never rest with idle hands.

With regard to the privileges granted to workers it is not easy to lay down any set of rules that will meet the requirements of every household in the land. In some cities rules are in force to which the majority of families conform, and they seem to answer very well. But 111 the needs of a family where there are little children differ from the needs of a family of adults. A larger number in a household will necessitate arrangements the need of which does not exist in one made up of a few members. In order to consult the varied tastes and arrange for the comfort of all, special hours must sometimes be considered, and it is not wise for a worker to start out by saying that she must have such and such times for her own. The time offered by the existing arrangements may be, if she will stop to think, much better for her.

It is important to comprehend exactly what is promised, so that there may be no mistake and no disappointment on either side. The time stipulated as belonging to a worker is certainly her own; the rest of her time as certainly belongs to the person to whom she has agreed to give it. But if her sister were going to be married, a girl would feel very grieved if she were not allowed to go to the wedding, and yet 112 there was nothing said about the wedding when she promised her time. Will she realize the equal importance of the occasion if the lady of the house is obliged to ask her to give up one of her evenings because of some especial entertainment?

There is very little doubt about her securing the proper privileges with regard to outings. Something quite as important is that she should care about her sleeping accommodations. Ladies say that again and again they have taken pleasure in fitting up cosey rooms for the maids who were to do the work of the household, and they have been grievously disappointed to find that their efforts were not in the least appreciated. No care was taken to preserve order and neatness; in fact, carelessness had been so universal that they had lost all heart about it. What is needed is plenty of fresh air, with an opportunity to preserve thorough cleanliness, and no right-minded lady will fail to respect a maid who makes a point of claiming these privileges.

Where many privileges are not granted one is inclined to place the 113 blame no more upon the employers than upon the employed, for I think we must all admit that, aside from some notable exceptions, waitresses have not so comported themselves as to make the persons they served take a keen interest in them.

When a reform is attempted there are always some rough places to be gotten over at first, some pioneer work to be done; but it is possible for a new order of waitresses to raise this department of women’s work to such a standard of excellence that there will be no need to ask for privileges; they will be granted without the asking.

Adaptability 114

When a waitress has gone into a home, and has made a contract which is satisfactory to herself and to her employer, she will need to adapt herself to her new surroundings, as she must not expect that they will in all things adapt themselves to her.

The first thing to which she may have to adapt herself is the fact that she is not looked upon as a person in whom one can repose perfect confidence. But she must remember that waitresses of the old order have in many cases abused their position, that they have sent too much china and cut glass to the ash barrel for any owner of such valuable articles to consider these and other belongings safe in new hands.

A waitress will, if possible, go into a new home in the morning, and not attempt a dinner until she has had time to take the bearings of 115 dining-room and pantry. While she is serving luncheon, and is going back and forth from the pantry, she need not be surprised if she hears a conversation something like this:

“The new waitress does very nicely, mamma.”

“Yes, a new broom sweeps clean, my dear.”

“But she looks as if she knew how to work.”

“She may know how; but I suppose she will be like all the rest. I have no faith in any of them any more.”

The new waitress need not be angry. She need not be even enough disturbed to let the blood rush into her cheeks, for she knows that she is competent and she can afford to bide her time.

She will make some haste with the luncheon dishes, for there is an important piece of work to be done before dinner. She will take out her memorandum-book, with its nicely sharpened pencil, and begin to make a list of all chipped china and glass and of all silver that is marred. The lady of the house will be expecting questions, and 116 should be asked to make this possible by showing where all pieces are kept which she wishes to have used. If objection be made, it is only necessary to say modestly but firmly that a contract which holds one responsible for all breakage makes it necessary that such a list should be made. The truth of this will at once be apparent and full opportunity given.

When finished, a copy of the list should be taken to the lady of the house, that she may compare it with the original and so avoid any mistake.

Next to making a list of the dishes should come a thorough study of the pantry. This it will not be possible to make all in one day. The new waitress will not be discouraged by anything that may be in the pantry, for what seems a defect the first day may prove a merit the next. Some things cannot be changed. The window, the sink, the shelves for dishes, are fixtures, and these are some of the things to which 117 she must adapt herself. There are other things which may be made to adapt themselves to the new-comer.

When she finds something which she would like to have changed she should make a note of it, and not feel sure that she is right until she has tested it well. She should go on making notes until she has put down everything which in her judgment seems necessary. The list should then be well studied, and anything which cannot be remedied should be crossed off.

When she has been in the house long enough to know whether she is likely to please; when she has at least shown that she understands her business, she will show the list to her employer and tell her what things she would like to have in order to make her work more convenient. Possibly a lady may consider her pantry already perfect and be annoyed by any suggestion; but it is more than likely that she will be gratified to find that she has some one in her employ who really cares how and by what means the work is done. She will probably 118 say that she is glad to see such a list; that the articles asked for she was careful to provide when she began her house-keeping, but she found they were neglected, broken, or thrown away. The list would probably be something like this:

Neat brass hooks for fresh white apron, brooms, and dusters.

Three new hand towels.

Zinc dish drainer.

Small towel rack.

Lamp in bracket, to throw light on dishes to be washed in the evening.

Two dozen towels for glass and fine china.

Two new salad cloths.

If the lady be a busy person she may imagine that some of these requests are unnecessary and therefore unreasonable; but she will go into the pantry to see what is already there. She will not be surprised to find her salad cloths with the silver cleaning materials, for she has had too much experience to be surprised at anything. She 119 will sort out the hand towels from the lamp cloths, and see that she needs new towels for silver and china. It is more than probable that the rack, the hook, and the drainer will be promised, although no time may be set for the fulfilment of the promise.

Now is the opportunity to prove that real thought has been given to the matter. The waitress should be ready to say, “To-morrow will be my afternoon out. If you like I will get the hooks; they will cost so many cents apiece. Where I get those I can get a small towel rack for so much. I have measured the sink and find that the drainer needs to be so long and so wide, and I know that the plumber three blocks away will make it for so much.” The amounts will be so small, while the convenience will be so apparent, that she will probably be commissioned to get them at once. She must be sure of her prices and in no case must she exceed them. She must not ask for one thing on one day and another thing on another day. All requests should be made at 120 one time, and nothing further asked for until it becomes absolutely necessary.

When she has adapted herself to her pantry and her pantry to herself, so that she can do her work in the best possible manner, she may turn her attention more entirely to the peculiarities of the family which she has agreed to serve, for it goes without saying that they have their peculiarities just as she has her own. For instance, we will suppose that one of the gentlemen always wishes butter at dinner, no matter how many sauces have been provided. Half of the time he does not touch it; but he wishes it there. She cannot change that any more than she can make the near-sighted lady see by taking away her glasses. What she is to do is never to forget that butter. Some persons have a habit of saying, “No, thank you,” when a dish is offered, and asking for it the moment it has been set down. She can soon determine if any one who does this is at the table and need not be “upset” by the request. If she can learn to make a bit of a pause 121 at the plate--not disrespectfully, but by way of suggestion that some of the dish may be cared for--she will soon have no trouble.

In every household there are some things that will puzzle an ignorant girl and some that may puzzle even a competent, well-trained waitress; but study and careful thought will make her find the best way to promote the general comfort and keep each person at table happy and serene.

A Servant’s Contract 122

One reason of the lack of confidence which exists between mistress and maid is the constant change which takes place between the employers and the employed. If a remedy is to be found for this--and a remedy must be found--it will be necessary to know the reason why, with some exceptions, maids are seeking good places, and good places are waiting for the right maids to come and fill them.

Without doubt the chief reason is the lack of a clear understanding between mistress and maid at the beginning of an engagement. Promises are made very much at hap-hazard, and a contract entered into, the conditions of which are not fully understood by either side. To avoid mistakes it is necessary first to understand the meaning of a contract.

A contract is an agreement between two or more persons by which 123 something is promised on one side in return for something promised by the other side. A contract is just as binding upon one party as upon the other. It is not something to be kept on one side, while it lets the other go free of responsibility. If responsibility be shirked by one party, then the other is at liberty to consider the contract broken, and decline to keep his part of it. For instance, a carpenter agrees to build a house for a certain sum of money. If he fails to build the house, the man for whom he agreed to build it does not feel bound to pay him anything for promising to build it. If a caterer agrees to furnish refreshments for an evening entertainment, and fails to send them, the person who had given the order would certainly not feel obliged to pay the bill, if presented.

In the case we are considering the contract is between two persons. It is an agreement by which a certain amount of service of a specified 124 kind is promised for a stipulated sum of money and a home.

Every maid who goes into a home says that she will do certain things, and that she will do them well. She claims that she knows how to do and will do her work in the best manner. On this understanding she is employed, and is promised a certain sum of money in addition to her bed and her board. Often a few days prove that there has been a mistake. In the first place, she does not know how to do her work in a first-class manner, and in the second place she does not try to do it well. Her employer talks with her about it, tries to show her better ways, begs her not to be careless, all to no purpose. After a fair trial she is told that she will not answer the requirements of the place. Does it ever occur to her to take less than the stipulated wages? By no means. She has not at all come up to the promises of her agreement; or, in other words, she has broken her contract. This would certainly justify the party on the other side in breaking hers to the 125 extent of paying only for the kind of work that has been given, instead of paying for the first-class work that was promised. But ladies do not like to be called mean, and they pay out their money knowing that they have not received the value of it.

In order for a waitress to know whether she has fulfilled her part of a contract, and whether the blame rests with her, she will need to understand very fully what she has contracted to do.