Part 22
Were it not sir that my presence might more offend you then I wish, or by anie action of mine owne, woulde willinglie deserue, I had (emboldened by the equitie and right of my cause) in all humble reuerence and dutie, tendered my self vnto you, but vnderstanding howe greatly the malice of mine auncient enemies haue preuailed towards mee, and that without the verie pietie of your selfe, and equall regarde had to the due information of my cause, there is no place of fauour left vnto me, I choose as the meetest to abandon for a while the yeelding vnto you (by my accesse) of anie such annoyance, and in the meane time, to frame these humble lines, pacifiers of your more then ordinarie discontentments, that as true aduertisers of the course of that wherwith I am charged, they may plead pardon of your protested mislike, and winne vnto me (as I hope) that intertainment againe, from which hitherto by the vndeserued proceedings of mine aduersaries, I haue iniuriouslie beene detained.
[Sidenote: _Insinuatiō._]
[Sidenote: _Paresia._]
And albeit there is no reason whie, in the measure of all your actions, I shoulde or ought to deeme, that you doe, or enterprise anie thing vnaduisedlie: yet for so much as the secret sting of malice is such, as is able to penetrate the wisest, and that where much is feared, the least matter inducing thereunto is made occasion to question of, I doe in as lowlie manner as I maie, beseech that but with indifferencie you will see howe and in what sort I am wronged, and giuing credite to what hereby in mine owne defence alledged, you will censure the rest, as to the respect of your fatherlie pietie appertaineth.
[Sidenote: _Propositiō._]
[Sidenote: _Anaphora._]
The weight of that, for which as I vnderstande you are agreeued agaynst mee, is that heretofore you haue had suggested vnto you that I am verie vnthriftie, that I keepe lewde companie, that I consume all at dice, that I am a quarreller, and lastlie, that you surmize you were robbed by meane of mee, or by my assent, all which to confirme, mine aduersaries seeme to haue gathered vppon me great aduantage, in that notwithstanding, beeing often forewarned the contrarie, I sithence fell into companie, played at dice, brake a mans head, and that my man that robbed you, was the night before in my companie.
[Sidenote: _Sententia._]
[Sidenote: _Paramologia._]
Much more euill commonlie carrieth the reporter, in deliuering an ill suppose of a reasonable conceyted matter, then oftentimes dooth the action it selfe, in the most woorst degree of truth that can bee, beeing equallie considered of, for example, was it euer helde a thing insufferable for a Gentleman to frequent companie or to plaie at dice? May it not sometimes be iustifiable to breake a mans heade? is it a matter of preiudice that hee who once did mee seruice was seene in my company? Your selfe, sir, I knowe wil aunswere for me to all these, No. Then will not I, not only not deny but I did all these, but by your fauour, iustifie to their faces, that honestlie, lawfullie, without offence against you, or reasonable mislike of anie other, I haue and might againe at any time enter into the like vsage of all or any of these, as at that time I did, when they so complained of me.
[Sidenote: _Commoratiō._]
[Sidenote: _Hypotyposis._]
[Sidenote: _Metonomia._]
[Sidenote: _Epiphonema._]
[Sidenote: _Synonymia._]
The company whereof I am accused were such onely and none other as I found in mine Inne, gentlemen ech to you wel known and of all men generallie well reputed, the plaie that I vsed was with them, the set by agreement not great, concluded vpon more to passe time, then whereof to make gaine. Hereunto commeth a bad fellowe out of the town accompanied with one of your tenaunts, who looking on a good while, craued at last hee might set, which being granted, a cast fell between him and me of a nūber to be decided, for his opinion he dared me a good time with twenty Nobles to my geldings, I accepted the wager, the boorde went with mee, your tenant excepted, who against all others stood against me, and hauing this wager in his custody would not deliuer it me. Words by such meanes multiplied, and they both arose against mee, whereupon forced to some impatience, my hand made way to my right, wherewith I quailed their resistance. Lo now sir, the matter thus highly framed against me, lo here the losse, the pawning, the borrowing of money, and what killing and slaying against mee reported. See here I beseech you the vnthriftines, the misrule, the il company, and what else that malice could any waies deuise to ouerthrow me.
[Sidenote: _Erotema._]
And yet if but truely in their verie supposes they shoulde haue dealte with me, what conceipt could they then haue found in all this to obiect against me? Is it not a thing ordinary among Gentlemen when they meete together to solace themselues with some one or other reasonable pastime, in allowance whereof, no one is ordered by himselfe, but by common liking of the rest? Is it not a thing naturall to man, after wearisome trauels to vse vnto his minde some honest recreation? Is it not accordant to ciuilitie to entertaine times and occasions? Affoorded you not therefore the money you gaue mee, in companie well reputed, and in their honest exercises, moderatelie to maintaine mee? Agreeth not hereunto your onelie dailie conuersation, your entertainments, your continuall vse of companie applied in your owne behauiors, and in others commended before me?
[Sidenote: _Anthypophora._]
[Sidenote: _Paramologia._]
[Sidenote: _Epanodis._]
What then may bee saide to condemne me? the common name (perchaunce) of the plaie, carying with it a continuall surmize of inconuenience? I need not here lay vnto your wisdome for my defence, that as well therein, as in all other demeanors, there is _vse_ which is allowed, and _abuse_, that in it selfe is insufferable. To commende the moderate vse hereof, I can induce nothing more then _custome_, and for the choise of the best obseruation, the company must cleare mee. Nowe in auoiding the enormities, the charge (if I misconceiue not) you gaue me, extended to the fellowship of the worst, in whose societie nothing is so common as ill vsage, and in whose pleasures, no one thing so ordinarie as vnthriftinesse, each of which occasioning that euill which I seeke to shunne, hath beene herein so far exempted, as I protest there resteth in veritie, no suspicion at all wherewith I may be charged.
[Sidenote: _Apostrophe._]
[Sidenote: _Paradigma._]
[Sidenote: _Erotema._]
[Sidenote: _Polyptoton._]
[Sidenote: _Asyndeton._]
But if nowe sir, you will reason of your tenauntes hurte, what therein may bee obiected that shall not euery waie further mee: who is hee that by nature could bee so restrained, but by the verie instinct thereof, hee will rather kill if neede bee, then stande to be killed? Hath not the Soueraigne mother of all our earthlie beeing, armed euen the verie Beastes themselues to their owne defence? hath not the Lyon his clawes, the Bull his hornes, the Dogge his teeth, and the Boare his tuskes? Doe not the worthiest sort of mankinde also contemne to be misprized, and naturallie couet where they bee enforced, immediatlie to be reuenged? Allotteth not the lawe vnto euerie man his right? Was it not by Conuention agreed, that the winner shoulde haue the wager? And did not the vniuersall sentence of the whole boord, adiudge it to me? What resteth any waies then to bee alleadged whereby in this action to accuse mee? Nay rather what is vnleft herein to condemne him, that being your tenaunt, hauing his liuing of you and yours, beholding as hee is to all yours, woulde yet be so vile conceipted against any of yours, as not with ordinary speeches alone, but with vnfitting tearmes, with violent force woulde goe about to withstande me, to hurt mee, yea desperatelie to confederate with another of my life and money to bereaue me.
[Sidenote: _Dialysis._]
[Sidenote: _Ecphonesis._]
[Sidenote: _Expeditiō._]
[Sidenote: _Dichologia._]
But nowe to drawe vnto the last parte that toucheth my man, standing as a coniecture for that hee was in my companie the night before, I must conspire with him to rob you. Do but cōsider sir I pray you, what likelihood of truth this beareth: would any one be so mad as once to harme, or go about to hurt the possessions that in right is to no one so much as himselfe? Woulde I euer appeare so vngracious as to confederate with a stranger, to no benefit but of himselfe, to rob and spoile my father? Alas, what coulde there be so aduerse vnto Nature, as should enforce in me so vnkinde a condition? You must needes Sir (by your fauour) something consider, what one thing or more might bee in mee occasioning vnto the same, it must either bee some vehement necessitie (which neuer hapened) constraining mee, some great extremity (which you know to bee contrary) wherewith by keeping mee too short of expence or maintenance you might enforce me, a kinde of wanton prodigality, whereof no worlde can accuse me, ill counsell whereunto so far forth I neuer could yeelde me, or a most detestable and vile disposition graffed in my selfe, which no man euer found in me. These causes as I thinke are the most likest of all others inducing to those opinions, which howe farre they or any of them haue estranged my condition, let but the verie consciences of my vtmost aduersaries indifferently trie: me what if hee were in my company, is not that a thing that without any suspition at all, might easliest of al others happen vnto me? I am not weeting of mens thoughts, neither can I coniecture of any other but their outward demeanors: if he were il, weigh I pray you, the fault proceedeth not from me. Sory I am that any such conceipt by any one of mine should so much offend you.
[Sidenote: _Epilogus._]
[Sidenote: _Dichologia._]
These things then falling out in such sort as they be, it may please you sir, henceforth to allowe of this my iust Apology, and by the selfe same _nature_, _piety_, and _louing condition_, wherewith in all duty and obedience I seeme firmely charged vnto you, in like sort to recognize and receiue mee, who notwithstanding I confesse many waies heretofore, to haue erred, yet heerein in no one point indifferent rest I rightlie to be challenged. The expectation whereof hath made mee presume to the recommendation of these letters, attending therwithal the newes of your good conceipt, and happy returne of this bearer. From, &c. this, &c.
=To this defence, we will for the more variety suppose a reply to be made by the Father, the reasons whereof shall yet also consist in the selfe same state |absolute|, yeelding thereby a more ample demonstration of the diuersitie of constructions incident to those places, and how by the forcible applications of their special intendmentes, they are, or may be caried to diuers seuerall purposes. Inasmuch, as like to their present vse in this defence they haue beene suggested for confirmation and to the clearing of the sonnes faultines, herein also by the same conueiance they shal be maintained by the confutation of al his former allegations, the matter whereof, in sort following may be considered.=
_A replie of the father confuting the allegations of the sonne, and maintaining the causes of the former inuectiue alleadged._
[Sidenote: _Exordium._]
[Sidenote: _Metaphora_]
Your wiles (Sirra) and sophisticall expositions of your owne misdemeanours, with sundrie confirmations therein vsed, whereby to driue me from the verie suppose of that whereunto no one thing hath giuen more euident testimony, then the course and progression of your whole life, are either too newlie forged, to reape at my hands any sound credite, or the metall so light, as carieth in the weight thereof verie small substance. in my conceipt to be beleeued.
[Sidenote: _Insultatiō._]
[Sidenote: _Allegoria._]
Well haue you applied your wits (no doubt) and to especiall good purpose haue your studies bin framed, that can so cunninglie cōment as you haue done vpon so bad a text, but withdraw your measure betimes, and cease this ouerweening, least by continuing your selfe in a fools paradice, and where al things are naught, supposing nothing to be amisse, you do (as by your deserts you haue sundry times endeuored to lose a father) so in the end frame a desperate meane to lose your selfe, when you may neuer be recouered.
[Sidenote: _Allegoria._]
[Sidenote: _Parison._]
[Sidenote: _Synathrismus._]
[Sidenote: _Synonymia._]
[Sidenote: _Erotema._]
[Sidenote: _Orismus._]
[Sidenote: _Metonoia._]
The shame you haue of your mischiefe done, and guiltinesse of your owne conscience to come in my sight, togither with a knowne mislike that you haue receiued from mee, either to see or heare from you: you vse as a cloake, to couer the long pretext you haue made in defence of your euils, you haue well shewed that paper beareth no other hue but his owne, and the letters you imprint therupon, carrie but their proper colour. Though they falsifie a thousande actions, and bolster vp inumerable lies, it is not seene in their chaunge, but in a shamefast browe of him that were not past shame, the least of all these would quickelie bee deciphered. Is it not inough you haue done badlie touching your selfe, vnkindlie demeaned your selfe towardes your fathers friendes, vnthriftily consumed your time in some one or other badde companie, run at randon euerie way to your parents and your owne infamie, but that also in your behauiours, you will not onelie dare to denie it, but which is woorse, in your writing seeke to defende it. It fitteth not that I shoulde vse reasoning, neither meane I to contend with your cautels, but for fashions sake, or (if so you list) to beate that to your remembrance, whereof hitherto you abandon the notice, let me aske you this one question. In all your smooth passage and flourish made of your companie, their reputation, your ciuilitie, small play, my allowance, and your construction vpon the same, dooth it not drawe to this ende, that it was in an Inne, in a place filled with all vnthriftinesse, in a dicing Chamber, in a spectacle for all companies? Doth not the verie deliuerance of your owne fact condemne you, dooth not the verie sequell of his entrance, looking on, and plaie (whome you tearme to bee a base fellowe) impugne you? Dooth not your after quarrell and mischiefe done oppose it selfe agaynst you? What if all the information deliuered vnto mee in particular were not true? Is not the substaunce true? _Nature_ coueting recreation, is in him that will bee modestlie gouerned, to be measured as well by time and place, as by entertainment of companies, _Custome_ carrying with it selfe anie secrete insimulation of euill, is not to bee followed; _ciuilitie_ is not _ciuilitie_, when it shall bee repugnant to a right gouerned modestie: can that be agreeing to _Law_, which in effect is discordant from anie good order of law? Induce you my allowance, as a confirmed _sentence_ to your vaine opinions? Why, sirra, frequented I euer anie such play in Innes? Nay rather did I not euer mislike it, alwaies spake against it, and in euerie action condemne it? Stood not my conceit that being in the best part it might be, though young men stoode neuer so much on their light gaming, and little hinderance, it was rather an allurements and inurement to vnthriftines then a pastime of any gentlenes, when it was vsed in a Gentlemans house, which is by sundrie defences more tollerable, and not in an Inne, the verie publike intertainer of all kinds of societies.
[Sidenote: _Synathrismus._]
At your departing from mee, your iourney laie to S. you were to trauaile to my friendes house. In respect of the time, my reputation, your beeing, the place, and the companie, I furnished you with money, knowing that there, and with such persons, and in their seuerall pleasures you were to bee conformed to companies: Hereof gaue I euer allowance, the like whereof haue I deemed meetest for the expence and societie of anie Gentleman, thither shoulde you haue trauelled, so in the honest distribution of that allowed for your maintenaunce, you had both auoyded the present mischiefe, alreadie incurred, and preuented occasions, wherby manie times they are aduentured.
[Sidenote: _Sententia._]
[Sidenote: _Antithesis._]
[Sidenote: _Merismus._]
It is not inough, not to doe euill, but we ought also to resist the occasions of euill, what recreation I pray you, after trauell is more natural then rest? Who more subiect to casualties, then they that hazarde themselues to most companies? What _custome_ better, then to vse our Inne for repose, the onelie and sole intent whereunto it was prepared? Wherein is _ciuilitie_ more commended then in honest gouernment? What more lawfull for any man then laudablie to beare himselfe? Your demeanour is tyed to your own behauiour, and not to anothers inclinations, your actions well disposed, are not offensiue to what by others pleasures to bee continued: had you vsed the place as it serued for, who would haue beene discontented? Once it appeareth that euill is come of it, brawlings arise, men are hurt, slanders ensue, and infamy doth guerdon it.
[Sidenote: _Peroratiō._]
[Sidenote: _Sententia._]
Touching the latter part of your Letter I say little, till I haue more deliberatelie of the circumstaunce considered. Some, hoping more of that you will bee, then I dare intende what you maie bee, haue manie wayes in this action perswaded mee. Where much hath beene ouerpassed, it is reason that something at length do beare shew to haue well deserued. Simplicitie in well doing, is farre more pleasing then a curious definition of well dooing. When I finde proofe of your amendement, I shall then wish to see you. Meane while, it shall behooue you to enter into your selfe, and more circumspectly to consider what most fittest beseemeth you, wherewith at this present my directions shall conclude. R. this, &c.
_An example of another Epistle Inuectiue, pleasantly written against the humours and conditions of a vaineglorious person._
[Sidenote: _Exordium._]
[Sidenote: _Epanodis._]
[Sidenote: _Liptote._]
Were the peeuishnes of my conceits correspondent to those vaineglorious humours of yours, I could before and sithence your exemplified discourse committed to my view, haue vpon occasion sufficient, deuised how and wherewith to haue preuented or answered your accustomed cauils. The first whereof not hauing performed, so could I willinglie also haue left the latter vndone by determined speech to haue beene accomplished, were it not that hauing prooued the arrogancie to bee in you, wherewith vniustly you charge me, I might by my ouerlong silence giue head to your follies, and whilest by an outragious well liking of your selfe you become ignorant of your owne mischiefs, you might vse a scope not necessarie therby more farther to abuse my sufferance, as heretofore you haue done a great many others by their common negligence.
[Sidenote: _Ironia._]
For auoyding whereof, I haue (as my leisure would induce mee) thought good to giue place to mine owne determination, & to serue your humour so farre forth as to answere your letter, not being stung, as you fondlie and vainlie imagine, with the venome thereof, nor galled with the opposed surmises of your munificence, wealth, credite, reputation, and I know not what besides, all which I do suppose either to be so skant, as no man can substantiallie discerne them, or otherwise that you would neuer so often as you do, without a surfeiting follie enduour to obtrude them.
[Sidenote: _Omiosis._]
[Sidenote: _Sarcasmus._]
The policies you vse with mee are nothing straunge, which because they are nowe growne so stale, bee euerie waie therefore the lesse currant. Howe like vnto a shamelesse woman, or some other base conceyted creature, you appeare in your wryting, let but the matter of your Letter testifie, if because you haue both manlie shape and countenaunce, you will admitte neither of these similitudes, you must bee either a childe, or a foole, and so weare a bable, or take a horne booke at your girdle, and get you to schoole againe.
[Sidenote: _Anthypophora._]
[Sidenote: _Schesis onomatō._]
[Sidenote: _Ironia._]
[Sidenote: _Insultatio._]
[Sidenote: _Meiosis._]
[Sidenote: _Merismus._]
[Sidenote: _Antiphrasis._]
[Sidenote: _Prosonomasia._]
[Sidenote: _Meiosis._]
[Sidenote: _Charientismus._]
[Sidenote: _Epitropis._]
[Sidenote: _Asteismus._]
You complaine that I haue done you iniurie, if I haue, why then doe you not content your selfe to pursue the reuengement thereof, either with manlike or lawfull extremitie? Whie take you for a refuge these cankred foolish vpbraidings, womanish encountrings, vnseemlie lyings, and childish threatnings. If we folow the rule you begin, we must straight waies bee children, and then I must wrangle why you stole away _Toms_ bread and butter, and you must threaten if I tell of that, you will then complaine of mee for eating vp the firmentie that was kept for the childs breakefast, or how I drunke vp my grandams ale and toste, or lick bread in the dripping panne, or some such like weightie causes. A soueraigne capacitie no doubt. Is this manner of dealing deriued I pray you from your Gentilitie, or had you it by education, or haue you won it with your wealth, or is it incident to your reputation? Bee these your incounters? A braue canuisado, indeede, when to deface an honest minde, you haue shot out all the venome of twentie yeares acquaintance that you haue stuffed togethers, and all not woorth a butterflie, then to tell to those that accompanie you, howe brauelie you haue touched mee, howe with your learned enditing to so manie read and shewed, you haue quencht mee, howe manie wayes behinde my backe, if you were so ill disposed you could kill mee, and for default of other matter forsooth, howe they laughed at mee to whome I haue spoke somewhat against you, and howe master B. found _Socrates_ in my Letter, and sent to seeke out your well reputed sconce to expound it, not without the credit of your owne worshipfoltie to be admitted to the sight hereof: If I should for carrying this insight, not say you were a great Clearke, your grauitie I knowe would condemne mee, and it would bee thought in your deeper studies, that my senses did faile me. But alas sir, what is it that I woulde denie you? It is not I, well I wot that haue abilitie, or if I had, woulde presume so far as to impugne you, what wold you more sir? I am come to your bow, and acknowledge your credit, your worshipful acquaintance, and all else you haue brought me to. But yet sir, after all these sporting deuises, hee is but a Nidcote, and that wise man can tell you, that will glory so much in such fruitles follies.
[Sidenote: _Metonoia._]
[Sidenote: _Anthypophora._]
[Sidenote: _Sarcasmus._]
But say I tis your vaine glory? No, not so, it is but a Thrasonicall exercise. There bee that affirme Gentilitie hath no deriuation, where is neither good nature, honesty, nor friendly condition. But what is that to you? A man may sit vnder a stall with credit, but to be laid on a stal, smelleth somwhat of beggership. Go to, I warrant him he is a proud fellow, and little of good maner knoweth, that so rudely wil dare to speake of your maistership.
[Sidenote: _Apostrophe._]
[Sidenote: _Charientismus._]
Yet nowe we be in, let vs goe to it by the weeke. In odde sooth I must tel you plainly, your occupations haue beene too manifolde to thriue by your honesty. But perchance the terme is quaint, and you will saie this matter of honesty is besides your profession? Alacke sir, though it be, you must pardon the writer, it was but a mistake in his penning, by ill noting your pedegree.
[Sidenote: _Irmus._]
[Sidenote: _Asteismus._]