Part 30

Eternity is like a year, continually wheeling about, which returns again to the same point from whence it began, and still wheels about again. It is an ever-running Fountain, whither the waters after many turnings flow back again, that they may always flow. It is a bottomless pit, whose revolutions are endless. It may be compared to a snake bowed back unto it self orbicularly, holding its tail in its mouth; which in its end doth again begin, and never ceaseth to begin. What is Eternity? It is a duration always present; it is one perpetual day, which is not divided into that which is past, and that which is to come: Or, it is an age of ages, never expiring, and never changing: Or, more properly, it is a beginning continuing, never ending, always beginning, in which the blessed always begin a blessed life, in which the damned always die, and after all death and strugling therewith, always begin again to die. As Hell-torments are eternal, so will the conscience be perpetually tormented with deep and horrid despair for the life past: Their worm shall not die. The Poets of old alluded to this place notably, in that Fiction or Fable of _Tytius_, whom _Virgil_ feigneth, that a flying Vulture every day gnaws and tears his Liver, which is every night again repaired and made up, that every day the Vulture may have more matter to prey upon. What is this Vulture, but the worm I speak of? and what is his Liver, but the conscience always gnawn and tormented? Not only this (as he that preacht my Funeral-Sermon told me) but all the torments of the damned shall never have end, because there can be no place for satisfaction: For although these inexpressible torments shall continue many millions of years; yet shall there not one hour, no, nor one minute of respite be granted: Let us then be no longer forgetful of our selves, and so degenerate into beasts, but seriously to consider our end, and what shall come after. All men are in the way of Eternity, but I am now almost at my journeys end: I sit on the Stairs of Eternity, expecting when one small thrust shall plunge me into the bottomless pit, where one hours punishment shall be more grievous (as _Thomas a Kempis_ saith) then 100 years here in the bitterest of torments: There they are tortured for infinite millions of ages, & are so far from finding an end, as never to be able to hope for any end. The consideration of these things brought me to that pass, as I was content to suffer any thing in this life, so that I might not suffer in the life to come. Though a King, I should willingly and patiently have endured what _Andronicus_ did, Emperour of the East; who (as History relates) being overcome and taken prisoner by _Isaac Angelo_, had immediately two great chains of iron put about his neck; and being laden with fetters, was brought before _Isaac_, who delivered him over to the rage of the multitude, to be abused at their pleasure. This rabble being incenst and stimulated on by revenge, some buffeted him, some bastinado’d him, others pulled him by the beard, twitching the hair from his head, dashing out his teeth, dragging him in publick through the streets: the insolence of women was such, as to fall upon him, leaving the marks of their nails in his Imperial face. After all this, they cut off his right-hand: thus maimed and bruised, he was thrown into the Dungeon of Thieves and Robbers, without either attendance, or the least thing necessary to sustain life: Some few days being past, they put out one of his eyes: thus mangled, they put upon him an old rotten short coat, shav’d his head, set him upon a scabbed Camel, with his face towards the Tail, put on his head a crown of Garlick, made him hold in his hand the Camels Tail instead of a Scepter, and so they carried him through the Market-place very leisurely, with great pomp & triumph. Here did the most impudent crew, and base among the people, like Tygers, after an inhumane manner fall upon him, not considering in the least, that not three days before he was no less then an Emperour, crowned with a royal Diadem, whose frowns were inevitable death, was honoured, yea, adored of all men. Their rage and madness fitted every one with instruments to execute their revenge: Some struck him on the head with sticks, others filled his nostrils with dirt, others squeezed spunges upon his face soaked in humane and beastial excrements: some threw stones, others dirt at him. An impudent woman as he past, came running out with scalding water in her hand, and poured it on his head. All these indignities which they exercised upon this poor Emperor, did not satisfie their insatiate revenge, but bringing him to the Theatre, took him down from the Camel, and hung him up by the heels: yet did he behave himself like a man, by bearing patiently what was inflicted upon him, being never heard to cry out against the cruelty of his fate. All that he was heard to say, was this, which he often repeated, _Domine miserere, Domine miserere_. Thus hanging up, one would have thought their malice should have ceased; but they spared him not as long as he lived; for pulling his Coat from his body, they tore him with their nails. One more cruel then the rest, ran his Sword through his bowels as he was hanging: Two others, to try whose Sword was sharpest, cut him and gasht him in several places; and so ended his life miserably, but was not suffered to be buried. Oh, that my condition were as _Andronicus_, to suffer all that man can lay upon me, that I might not perish for ever! I should be content to be miserable for so short a time, that I may not be miserable to all Eternity. Questionless he could never have suffered such things so constantly and couragiously, but that he had Eternity in his thoughts; and were our minds imployed about the same subject, any adversity or affliction we should more easily bear. From the time of my condemnation till Monday morning I slept not, neither did I eat or drink: then did I hear my passing-bell (having heard the day before my Funeral-Sermon) every stroke methought carried my soul one degree higher, being confident I had made my peace above. Whilst I was in the depth of Meditation, and my soul breathing out this short ejaculation.

_Is there no hope now of Relief, In this Extremity? Mercy e’re now hath sav’d a Thief, And may do as much for me._

Behold, a friend came to me (that never visited me during my imprisonment) but now in the time of need brought me a Reprieve; when I lookt thereon at first, I could not believe my own eyes; I thought I dreamt, or that grief had so distracted me, as that I imagined things that are not. My friend at length cleer’d up my doubts; but I shall tell you this for a truth, I knew not whether I were best accept of this self-preserving courtesie: For, methought I had so well settled my eternal concerns, as that I had nothing else to do but die.

About a fortnight after, I was sent aboard, in order to my transportation; my sentence of Death being converted into a seven years banishment.

CHAP. LXVI.

_Being on Board he descants on his ensuing misery; yet draws comfort to himself from the sufferings of others. He relateth how he was freed from his intended banishment by a double Shipwrack; the manner thereof he amply declareth._

The Ship that was to transport me lay at _Wollidge_: about the latter end of _Aug. 1650_. I was conveyed aboard a lusty Ship, a _Virginia_-Merchantman, and was instantly clapt under hatches; but I knew they would quickly call me aloft, if there was any fighting work; as such a thing might easily be, since the Sea was no where free from such as would make a prize of what Vessels were too weak to contend with them. Having pen, ink, and paper about me, I busied my thoughts and pen in contriving consolation for my disquieted and disconsolate mind, thus:

_Why should not I with patience suffer? some Have kist what brought them to their Martyrdom. Many a Saint hath suffer’d on a Cross; And our good King endur’d three Kingdoms loss. Shall I (fool) then at any cross take grief? _Tyburn’s_ the way to heaven for many a Thief. But must I now to Sea? well, ’tis no matter; Fortune now frowns, though heretofore did flatter. Let not my soul despond, since ’tis my hap, I’ll scorn that _Whore_, and trust to _Thetis_ lap: Though she may foam with anger, and the wind May aggravate her passion, I may find Her calm again, and set me on that shore, Where I may Moor, and put to sea no more. _Neptune_ may shake his _Trident_, and each wave, Or tumbling billow may become my _grave_. A thundring Cannon may pronounce my death, Or a small shot bereave me of my breath: All which may throng together in full crowds, To make m’a _winding-sheet_ of _tatter’d shrowds_. The winds shall sing my _requiem_, and my knell Shall be a peal of Ordnance, they shall tell My angry fates I’m dead, and the Sea must Intomb without the form of _dust to dust_. But I hope better things, and do believe, My good events will make the _furies_ grieve._

About the beginning of _September_ following, we set sail for the _Downs_. As soon as we had weighed Anchor, a thick melancholy cloud encompassed my thoughts, and so much sadness seized my spirits, as if I had been not so much taking my leave of my dearly beloved Country, as leaving the world. Though my soul could not foresee the least danger, nor be troubled at the apprehension of what slavery I was to undergo in my exilement; yet certainly I found this strange anguish and propassion to be ominous, proceeding from something divine, which is able to unriddle the Apocrypha of nature, and made my soul sensible of some approaching mischief. Having been about 5 days at Sea, one morning, just as the Sun began to gild our Hemisphere with his Golden rays, the Boatswain made us all turn out, & commanded all hands upon deck: coming aloft, I could not see a man in whose face there was not written the pale characters of fear and amazement; which were the infallible marks of some sudden and ensuing danger. Upon my first coming on board, I could discern a great many red nos’d fellows (a drunkards truest _indicium_) but the apprehension of present danger had now extinguisht all those flaming torches of their faces, without the help of water: The faces indeed of the stoutest amongst us, were so altered by this affrightment, that we knew not almost one another; losing our natural complexions through the extremity of passion. One was at his prayers, that never till then knew what a prayer was; another shedding of _briny tears_, to make room for more _salt waters_: for my own part, I found my self not much moved, having lately made my self acquainted with death. By this time I understood what had past; that is, our Ship had sprung a leak, and was ready to sink. Seeing every man in that posture, and that there required means, as well as prayers for our preservation; Come (said I) Gentlemen, let us not thus cry out, and never lend our assisting hand; let us to the pump, and let every one be imployed in this grand concern. Whereupon we all unanimously fell to work: but as it is usual in such extreams, we were all busie about doing of nothing: what we began we left imperfect, and fell to another, and so perfected nothing to our safety. Some were sent down into the Hold, who quickly returned to us with the symptoms of death in their countenances; for they all with hesitations and quivering of tongue, with words abruptly or half spoken, signified to us, that our Ships wound was incurable, that the leak could not be stopt, but that we must inevitably perish within some minutes. These words I received as from a Deaths-head, which I never heard speak before; and truly his very looks would have sufficiently declared what message he was about to deliver, _viz._ ruine and immediate destruction. Our inexpressible fears bereaved us of the power of counselling one another; neither did we know what was best to be done. Our Master commanded our Long-boat to be cast out, and withal, ordered some eight Guns to be fir’d, which methought resembled so many toles of my _Passing-bell_, when I was design’d to pass by St. _Sepulchres Church_ in a Cart, guarded by fellows whose visages were the true resemblance of the _Saracens-head_ on _Snow-hill_, for terror, horror, and merciless proceeding; as to all which, these _Cannibals_ will outvie that inhumane and bloody Nation. Every man indeavoured to shift for himself, and I amongst the rest (being loath to be drowned alone) leapt short of the boat, and fell into the Sea in _Charontis Cymba_; but necessity then forcing me to use treble diligence to recover my self, with much difficulty I got into the boat: I was no sooner there, but another leapt down upon me, and had like to have beaten the rest of my breath out of my body: which I took kindly enough: for I would have been content to have born them all on my back, nay, boat and all, so that I might have escaped with life. We were constrained to leave many of our friends behind us, and committed our selves to the Sea, driving us we knew not whither. Now were all our hopes _dashed_, as well as our selves, by the waves; for we were almost in despair of humane help: for we were left in the wide Ocean, which did not at that time wear a smooth brow, but contending with the wind, swell’d into prodigious mountains, which every moment threatned our overwhelming. How could we expect safety in an open Shaloup, when so stately a Castle of wood, which we but now lost, could not defend it self, nor preserve us from the insolency of the imperious waves? We were many leagues from any shore, having neither Compass to guide us, nor provision to sustain us, being as well starv’d with cold as hunger. Several bags of mony we had with us; but what good could that do us, where there is no exchange? We could neither eat nor drink it; neither would it keep us warm, nor purchase our deliverance. Therefore we may justly esteem of money in its own nature, as an impotent creature, a very cripple, _inutile pondus_, an useless burden. I could not now imagine anything could preserve us, less than a miracle: and as we were all sinful creatures, especially my self, we could not expect that nature should go out of her ordinary way to save us. The waves indeed carried us up to Heaven,

_Jam jam tacturos sidera summa putes._

_Neptune_ sure at this time was very _gamesome_, for he play’d at _Tennis_ with us poor mortals, making a _wave_ his _Racket_ to bandie us up and down like _Balls_: Sometimes he seem’d so proud and _lofty_, being raised so _high_, as if he had been about to _scale Heaven_; which the incensed Deity perceiving, seemed again to throw us down headlong to Hell, for too much ambition & presumption: yet I could not see, but that the extremity of our condition pleaded for us, crying aloud for pity and compassion. I was now silent, committing my self into the hands of providence; yet verily believing, that the inversion of the old Proverb appertained to me, that being not born to be hang’d, I should be drown’d. Commonly we are not so much mov’d with a clamourous and importunate beggar, who hunts after our Alms with open mouth, and makes _Hue_ and _Cry_ after our Charity (as if we had rob’d him who begs of us) as with the silence of impotent and diseased _Lazaro’s_: their sores speak loudest to our affections; _Quot vulnera, tot ora_; each wound is a gaping mouth strenuously imploring mercy; the sight whereof, cannot but melt the most obdurate spectator into a charitable compassion. This was our case, our misery was louder than our prayers, and our deplorable condition, certainly was more prevalent then our imperfect devotions. In this moment of death, when we were without the least expectation of any deliverance, the wind chopt about, and drove back one Ship that had over-run us: this was unquestionably _Digitus Dei_. This Ship made towards us, and we, what in us lay, towards it: The wind blew hard, and the insulting Sea, that will not admit of pity, rose high upon us: so that we were forced to lave the water out of the boat with our hats. It was my chance to sit on the weather side; fain would I have exchanged my place, but such complements are useless in a storm; so that I was constrained to endure patiently the indignation of my raging enemy. But now began another despair; for with all our endeavours we could not reach the Ship, nor she us, although she hung on the Lee to retard her course. Thus our pregnant hopes brought forth nothing but wind and water (for the Ship rode on furiously before the wind, and we came after in pursuit of her, as slowly as if an hedg-hog had been running with a Race-horse;) so that we which before flattered our selves with an assurance of safety, were as much confounded with a certainty of perishing. In my opinion it is better to have no hopes at all, than be disappointed in them: doubtless it did redouble the punishment of _Tantalus_, to touch what he could not taste. That Mariner, who seeing a fatal necessity for it, is contented to die in a tempest, would be exceedingly troubled to perish in a Haven, _In Portu perire_. In this very condition were we, having a Ship near us, but could not board her for stress of weather; so that ruine attended us, though all the while we lookt safety in the face. Now did it grow dark, whereby we could not see which way to row: though this was an evil in its own nature, yet accidentally it became our benefit: for not seeing our danger, we understood it not; but redoubling our strength, we brake through the waves, and by the assistance of a light, which was in the Ship, we directed our course truly; and now did we find we were very near her. As soon as we toucht her on the Lee-side, the Sea-men, with the rest in the boat, being more dexterous in the art of climbing than my self, never regarding their _exil’d Prisoner_ (whom they ought to have taken charge of) got all up into the Ship in a moment, leaving me alone in the boat. By good hap they threw me out a Cope, which once had like to have deprived me of my life, but was now the preserver: which I held fast, to keep the Boat from staving off. Our Boat was half full of water, and the waves dashed it so violently against the Ship-side, that every such stroke struck me down, so that I had like to have been drowned (and did much fear it) in that epitome of the Sea. It would have vexed a man in my condition, to escape by swimming over a large _River_, and coming ashore, to be drowned in a _washbowle_. At last with much difficulty I got aboard too. The Master, Merchants, _&c._ having sav’d their lives (even miraculously) one would have thought they should not have been so pensive as they were for the loss of their goods. Those which lost much took it very heavily; those which lost less, their affliction was greater, having lost all: I was the most glad, joy riding in triumph in my chearful countenance, having lost nothing, neither could I any thing, but my life. Having escapt so miraculously, it was unchristian-like to murmur at any loss; and as ridiculous, as if a man being restored to life, should complain that his winding-sheet had sustained some damage by lying in the grave. The Ship wherein we were, was bound for the _Canaries_, the wind blowing very faire for that coast. The second night after our deliverance, about ten a’clock, having set our Watch, we laid our selves down to rest, with the thoughts of much safety and security, but it was otherwise decreed; for about one a’clock we were forced to use all hands _aloft_, a most terrible storm beginning to arise, and the wind blew so furiously, that before morning we lost our Bow-sprit and Mizon: we durst not bear the least sayl, but let the Ship drive whither the winde and waves pleased; and before the next night, we could not indure our remaining Masts standing, but were necessitated to cut them by the board. Thus we were tumbled up and down for four days, and as many nights, contending with the waves in a _Pitcht-battel_, not knowing where we were, till our Ship struck so violently against a Rock, that the horrid noise thereof would have even made a dead man startle; to which, add the hideous cries of the Sea-men, bearing a part with the whistling winds and roaring Sea; all which together, seemed to me to be the truest Representation of the Day of Judgement. The Ship stuck fast so long between two Rocks, as that we had time enough, all of us, to leap out; the only means left us for our safety. We all got upon a Rock, and the Morning-star having drawn the Curtain of the night, we found that we were a very little distance from the shore; getting thereon, and ranging to and fro, we at last espied a small house, the sight whereof made us direct our foot-steps thither, steering our course solely by the compass of our eyes: being come to the house, the Master thereof stood at the door; we addrest our selves to him in _English_, but his replications were in _Spanish_, which we understood not: wherefore I spake to him in Latine, in which language he answered me, _Tam compte, tam prompte_, both quaintly and readily. In that tongue I made a shift to tell him the sad Iliades of our misfortunes. This noble _Spaniard_ understood it better by our looks, than my relations; which made such a deep impression in his soul, that his _gravity_ could not forbear the shedding of some few tears, so that one would have thought he suffered Shipwrack as well as we. He desired us to come into his house, and refresh our selves: what little meat he had, stew’d in a horse-load of herbs, with some pottage onely seasoned by a piece of Bacon, that had serv’d for that purpose at least a dozen times) he ordered to be set before us; being no ways sparing of his wine, better than any I ever yet could taste in Taverns; this good man being not acquainted with _dashings_, _dulcifyings_, &c. Seeing us eat so heartily, he caused another dish to be provided, which was composed of such variety of creatures, that I thought he had served us in as a _Mess, the first Chapter of Genesis_: This _Ola-podrida_ was so _cookt_, that the distinction of each creature was _fauc’d_ out of our knowledge. Having satisfied our hungry stomachs, he dismist all excepting my self, desiring me to accept of what kindness he could do me, for he confest he took much pleasure in my society and discourse. I was very well contented to entertain his proffer: in some few days he told me he was to go to Sea, being Captain of a Vessel that lay in _Perimbana_, a small Sea-faring Town near the place of our Shipwrack; and asking me whether I would go with him to the _Indies_ (whither he was bound) I readily consented, and in some few days after we did sail from thence, to perfect our intended Voyage.

CHAP. LXVII.

_From _Perimbana_, a small maritime Town on the _Spanish_ coast, he sets sail with Captain _Ferdinando Velasquez_ bound to the _East-Indies_; but by the way meets with three Turkish Galleys, and by them is taken, miserably abused, and imprisoned._