Part 24

What kind of Rhetorick she used to perswade them with, I am not yet acquainted, but I understand she boarded them both at once and put them to the squeak, without uttering a word, and had not they fled for it, she had ransacked their carcasses to have tryed their Manhood, this made them ever after shun being alone with her, which made her so mad, that when she hath seen them in company, if by any means she could come at them, she would have pinch’d them by the arms, or else where, her fingers being as bad as a pair of pincers. She was ignorant of the way of winning them by Presents, or the subtle insinuation of fine words, varnished with love and Service; she was downright with them, if they would not love her, she would see whether she could make them; but that not doing, she was resolv’d to try whether drunkenness would operate any thing upon them. Whilst I and my new Associates were gone abroad to hasten our purposes of marching off together, she had prepar’d a Bowl of Punch, with other excellent Liquors, not omitting several Dishes of Sweetmeats; she strained her self at that time to the utmost to express her civillity and kindness, drinking often to them till at last she perceiv’d that the strength of those several Liquors they drank had elevated them; then did she in as good _English_ as she was Mistress of, tell them that she lov’d them, and they must love her, that she had never seen such pretty white men before, with that she caught one of them about the neck, the other fearing they should be now discovered, indeavored to assist her Comrade, and struggled to disengage her hands from about her neck, but she being too strong, would not disengage her hold, but by main strength brought them both down to the ground together with her; just as my business calling me home, I entred the Room wherein I found my Spouse at _Tantum Scantum_ with the two supposed young-men, tumbling all together promiscuously: I knew they could not if they would, and would not if they could make me a Cuckold, therefore I had no cause to be angry with any, but my Christian Infidel, and yet I had but little reason to be so with her, considering the brutishness of her nature, and barbarousness of her education: however so sensible she was of the injury she design’d to do me, that taking a Dagger out of her pocket, which she mightily delighted to carry always about her, she would have stabb’d her self, had I not prevented her, by forcing it out of her hands. I saw nothing but distruction and distraction in her eyes, and therefore, watcht her narrowly she would not mischief her self, or any else; she seeing that seem’d better compos’d, and stepping aside drawing a small Box out of her pocket, which she always made her _Vade mecum_, and was fill’d with the rankest poyson, she conveyed some of it into a Cup, and offer’d to drink to me, which she would have done, had I not dasht it out of her hand: she seeing me so careful of her preservation, imagined I had no evil will against her, she fell upon her knees again, and begg’d of me that I would kill her, for she deserv’d it, or take for my satisfaction as many wives as I pleas’d into the house, and she would not be offended at it in the least; I told her I would have no more wives than she, and that I would forgive her this time, so she would never do the like again.

She now trebled her diligence at home, whilst I exercised my wit abroad, among the _Bannians_ I invited one of the principal of them home to a treat, a man of vast sway, and great credit in the Country; and having acquainted my new Correspondents, or fellow Conspirators of the time of our meeting, I ordered them to appear as splendidly as they could, according to the Custome of the Country; and to be noble in their expences, all which they performed so well, that they gain’d a great esteem with the _Bannian_; Moreover I informed him privatly; that the Captain (though an Interloper) was resolv’d not to be behind hand in the lading his Ship homeward, with the best Factor in the company, having Gold enough for that purpose, and that those young men that accompanied him to the _indies_ were the sons of _English_ Lords, that had brought with them great store of Gold to see this Country, and lay it out in the Commodities thereof: he hearkened to me with much attention, and having always had a very good oppinion for me, believ’d what I said to be no less than truth, and therefore desired me that I would perswade them that he might negotiate their Affairs for them; this was the thing I desired, which I should have offer’d him, had he not so happily prevented me by his own voluntary motion, and to encourage his willingness therein, I whispered the Captain in the ear aside, informing him that the _Bannian_ was fully wrought upon, and that now he had not need to fear fraught at half credit, as I shall mannage the matter, I desired him to invite him abroad to morrow, and what friends he should think to bring along with him, which accordingly he did; after that we had been sufficiently merry together in my house, and though he was somewhat elderly, yet he was a very comely old man, and had wit and heat enough in him to play the Good-fellow: We had so liberally entertained him (and had so fitted every thing to his humour, I knowing his humour to a hair) that on his going away, he acknowledged infinite satisfaction in that he had received, promising for these civilities his utmost Service and Assistance; the Captain stopt him in his further acknowledgments, by assuring him they were nothing to what he and the Company intended for him, desiring him that he would favour them with his Company abroad the next day; the _Bannian_ gratefully accepted the proffer, for he was a person that lov’d dearly his belly, and therefore the more willing and ready to accept our _English_ treatment, which he knew was no niggardly one; but had he known what a stale purgation he should have had after all his feasting, he would have sooner swallowed a _Pagod_, than one single morsel.

About noon I found the _Bannian_ at his own house, and telling him that he was expected abroad, he made himself ready to go with me, in our way thither we met with some of his most intimate friends, and some of mine, those which I thought would further our design I singled out, and took them along with us. The Captain had made ample provision for us, and understanding from me that the _Bannian_ was obliged to abstain from some sort of meat, he had to be sure provided none thereof; having feasted with all the jollity imaginable, firing several pieces of Ordinance according to Command; now Sir, said the Captain, that you might know we come not into your company empty-handed, or that we will take up any of your Goods and Commodities without paying you for them according to contract, I will shew you something which shall be a Secret to every body else, so unlocking a Chest, he shew’d them a great quantity of his own Gold, and his Undertakers; if this be not enough, see there of this friend of mine fifteen hundred pieces, and of that mans there, five hundred, with a thousand more if occasion should serve.

This made the _Bannian_ and his friends admire to see so great a quantity of Gold, however he seem’d to take but little notice, only saying, you have a great deal of money, Sir, and we have a great deal of valuable Commodities, which you shall not want, but trust them to my procurement for you, and you shall not fail in your expectation; he spake _English_ good enough to let us understand, that he would be our Servant to do our business, and the Merchant too, to credit us if we so pleas’d. What Goods we took of him at first we paid him ready money before delivered, and by degrees caus’d him to send some abroad, and paid him three or four days after: And to the intent we might not be in the least suspected for any knavery, I advised the Scrivener, Drugster, and _Gregory_ (their Hanger-on) to give out they intended to stay in the Country some considerable while, that what goods they bought, they would send for _England_, when the Captain should return thither, and to confirm the truth of this report, they built them an house, befitting the entertainment of them, and the securing what Goods they should procure by way of Merchandize, servants I procur’d them, such as I thought would be for their turn, both Male and Female, but if they intended to have their Victuals well drest, they must not expect the Cookery from them; however they resolv’d to try the ability of their new servants, who handled the matter so scurvily, that when it was brought to Table, there was not one, but was of a different oppinion in giving a name for what was brought before them, not knowing whether it was boil’d, bak’d, broyl’d, or roasted; for the looks thereof seem’d to have a touch of them all; so that it was concluded by all that the Proverb was never better verifi’d than now; _God sends meat, and the Devil sends Cooks_; and so any Stranger would have taken them, they being of his own smoaky complexion. Wherefore to avoid these foul inconveniences of sluttish feeding, it was agreed on, that _Mall_ (alias _William_) _Doll_ (alias _George_) notwithstanding their Breeches, should officiate as Cooks, their friends should be caterers, and their menials Skullions.

CHAP. XXII.

Latroon _in order to his returning to_ Europe _gets a great deal of Goods, most on credit; he suspects his wife of some villanous Design, discovers her wicked inclination, and hints at the common cause of Cuckoldry. She under pretence of loving visit poyson’d one of the supposed young-men, and had like to have dispatcht the other, and afterwards kills her self: her Assistant in this Murther was found not far distant from_ Bantam _torn to pieces by wild Beasts, three days after the Fact._

In this Equipage our friends were in, whilst the Captain, and my self were daily bringing in Grist to the Mill; the _Bannian_ according to his promise, with speedy sedulity procur’d us what ever we desired, and to encourage his Industry had daily (almost) encouragements for his quick dispatch. Our business now ran on wheels, neither did the pleasures of our new Houskeepers slacken in their carreer, they had every thing which the Country afforded, and more, for they had two such matchless _European_ girls, which all _India_ could not parallel, whose luster was the brighter by reason of those dark and dusky foils which were always near them.

But damn’d be that cursed instrument that totally eclipst the light of those two _Wandring stars_, which must ne’er shine more in our Hemisphere. Who would have thought a wife, after so much penitence and submission (being obsequious beyond imitation) should renew her revenge, and prosecute it to death. It is true, the found me remiss in the cooling of her amorous Heats, but that from the first I used her to, that she might not expect it when it came, as a duty, but a courtesie, or a very signal favour, by reason hereof the was void of frequent expectation; had the been as white, and as lovely fair as any of my own Country-women, I would have serv’d her in the like manner; if I intended to make my wife absolutely my own. For in my time I have observ’d at least an hundred Examples of this nature; Women, whom I am confident might have ran the Race of their lives in the way of modesty and honesty, had they not been chafed or over heated at first by the ostentatious humour of their hot brained Bride-groome, striving to out-do himself, that he might purchase the esteem of being a lusty man excelling others in strength and vigour; but when the wife shall finde the satisfaction of her desires dis-continued, she will be apt to think her husband was too prodigal at first, and so became Natures Spend-thrift, and now thinks of no other thing than how she shall be supplyed by others. Others again are like some childish appetites, who feeding on some excellent Dish, they never tasted of before, and being exceeding pleasant, eat beyond measure, thinking themselves never to be satisfied, so getting a surfeit, ever after loath what they lov’d, the very sight thereof will even nauseate their stomachs. I say by stinting my wife after this manner, she could not suspect that by rambling abroad, I disappointed her expectations at home, since custom made her believe me indifferently honest. But her revenge was grounded on the Basis of equity, for since she was so far from being jealous, that she allowed me to make use of others, she judged I could not in reason dis-allow her the enjoyment of one or so, especially of my own complexion.

The removal of these two young men (as she supposed, and in that belief courted them to her embraces) she verily believ’d was occasion’d by me, and design’d that she might have no converse with them. Whilst they were in sight of her, she pleas’d her self in viewing them, but being depriv’d of that hourly happiness, she had not so much prudence as to conceal the resentment of her loss, and the injury was done her by me, but exprest (in her manner) to my very face things that carried with them suspitions of a dangerous consequence.

For the prevention thereof, I seemingly show’d much kindness unto her, giving her a many good words, & granting her with all leave to visit those two young-men, with this proviso, she would not wrong me, and all this was to pacifie for the present, till I was ready to go from the implacableness of of her revengful spirit, which is an Inmate properly not onely in her, but in all the _Indians_ her Countrey people. She seem’d hereat to be very well satisfied, but so impatient she was to have a review of them, that she went from me immediately to them, at the sight of them she represented her joy in so many antick shapes, and formes, that all which were present burst out into a great fit of laughter, which she construed in favour of her self, supposing from hence, they were over-joy’d to see her; and what made her believe it the more, was their welcoming her to their new house, in the best manner they could, drinking to her so often (in the best liquors they had) till she was half Sea-over; the heat of the PERSIAN-wine she drank, gave fire to the old train, which should kindle the Magazine of Love, which lay covert in the Cole-pit of her hellish lust; and now breaking like a Hand-granado, the pieces of the shell could not fly faster than her arms did about their necks, there was no warding them, so that they were forc’d to submit to the cruelty of her over-powerful affection. But when she insisted upon the complement thereof, they bade her then desist, for they were resolv’d never to wrong her Husband in that nature, and threatned her, that if she would not be civil, they would acquaint him therewith. Hearing them menace her after that fashion, she retreated and sate down at a distance, and seem’d somewhat pensive, but having spoke some few words to a Black that past by her in the _Indian_ tongue (which I would have understood had I been by) to which there was a sudden reply; she seem’d to throw off her melancholly and re-assume her jolly attempt, telling them that the next day she would come again, if they would make as much of her as they had done then; they told her they would.

I visiting them that evening, they acquainted me how welcome they had made my wife for my sake, how she had renew’d her love, and how preposterously she had manag’d it; in recital thereof we had good sport over a Bowl of Punch: to avoid the dangers of going home late I bade them goodnight. In the morning early coming down I found one of their female Slaves close in discourse with my wife, who seeing me vanished; I suspecting nothing, went to the _Bannian_ about my business, and that day we had so much business to do, that it was near night, before I could visit our friends, to acquaint them what progress I had made therein, and how near it was brought to consummation. But I had no sooner entred the doors, but my ears were entertain’d with the doleful groans of my two disguised _Amazons_, who lay upon a Matt on the ground, foaming at mouth with the Scrivener & Drugster, & _Gregory_ attending them, offering their utmost assistance, which was to little purpose, since they were ignorant of what they ail’d; as soon as I saw them, I knew they were poyson’d, having seen several in the like condition (a common practice among them upon the least suspition of an injury design’d, or an offence already receiv’d) but knew not what remedy to apply, and whilst I was in consultation with myself what was best to do, I saw _Malls_ teeth drop out of her head, and _Gregory_ going to raise her head, the skin and hair with it came off in his hands like a Perriwig, so did the hair of the other; so strong was the poyson administred, that _Mall_ died in less than half an hour after the reception thereof; but _Dorothy_ escaped ever to a miracle.

This sad accident had like to have converted the house into a Bedlam, for the three young men which had attended them in this disaster, were so strongly distracted at the sight of what had happened, that I thought the Devil had just then by a reentry took possession of them, or that they had taken the same potion of Poyson, which was very near as bad; believing it would work as subtlely and as nimbly on them as it had already done, (_Principiis obsta_) I ran with might and main for some Sallad-oyl, a Jarr where of I brought in the twinkling of an eye, Drink, drink, said I, to them all, quickly, quickly, one after the other, as fast as you can, which they did, not knowing any reason therefore, but that I commanded them; having even gorg’d themselves with it, and being not able to drink anymore, I poured it down their throats till I had almost choak’d them, or rather drowned them therein, they cried out to me, for the love of God to forbear, or I should kill them, judging me to be mad indeed: as they were evacuating what they had too plentifully received, the Captain whom I had left with the _Bannian_ to follow after me, came in, who asking me what was the matter? I told him particularly. He could not but shew something of trouble, but having been acquainted with all sorts of losses and miseries from his Cradle in a manner by traversing to and fro the Universe, he bore this with a patience agreeable to his courage and Man-hood, and now our friends having disembogu’d the Oyl that was within them, shew’d all the appearances of perfect health; now seeing them in a condition to return an answer to what questions I should propound to them, I ask’d what strangers they had entertained at home to day? they reply’d, None; but, said _Gregory_, let us first see whether a certain she-devil of ours be within, and then I shall tell you what I have observed; upon this we search’d for her, but could not find her, it seems the same Black I found in the morning discoursing with my wife, when having done this execrable murder, by the instigation of my other devil at home, was fled, as more plainly by and by will appear. Said _Gregory_, not full an hour since; whilst we were at the farther end of the house busied about our wares, Mistress _Mary_, and Mistress _Dorothy_, commanded some wine to be brought them, which was accordingly done by this female we now miss, and brought in a midling Cocoa-nut bowl; they were just drinking the third time round, as we came in, nay, now said _Mall_, my little merry _Grigg_, here’s to the Mistress of thy affections, speaking to me, and drinking heartily, I looking into the Bowl to see how much was left, this Black dasht the Bowl out of my hand, and because there was but little in it, I judged it onely to be an effect of her rude petulancy, and so did the rest, taking no further notice. Presently our two friends grew extraordinary ill, and though we were three to two yet they would have found work for as many more had not death thus bound one of them hand and foot, and the other seemingly dead for the present: I will lay my life, said I, I know where there is another of the Conspirators, so taking the Captain with me only, we made all the hast we could to my own house, and found by the extraordinary number of people therein, that something more than ordinary was the matter, and so there was, for my wife with her beloved Dagger, had with one home stabb made a hole through her heart, wide enough for half a score lives to go out a brest without jostling one the other.

I was not troubled to see her thus weltring in her own blood, but that she had not liv’d to be punish’d suitable to the crime she committed, if any punishment could be invented. The President of _Bantam_ hearing of this horrid Murder, sent for me, to whom I gave an ample relation as I could by information, or otherwise, who seemed very much concerned, and immediately dispatcht several in the search of the Coadjutrix to the Murderess, about three days afterwards they found (some ten miles distant from _Bantam_) a female Carkcass, turn all to pieces, the limbs thereof were gnawed in that manner, that there was little flesh upon the bones, onely the head was untouch’d, and some of the company that had seen her before, would have sworn it was the same, and therefore it was agreed upon to carry it to the President, which they did, and presently order’d to be fastned on a long Pole, for a future terror to such like Malefactors, especially the Natives.

CHAP. XXIII.

Latroon _and his Comrades about to leave_ Bantam _and go to_ Surrat, _having done lading their Vessel, shew some tricks to prevent suspition of marching off, He sets sail from thence and meets with an Enemy, an account of a most desperate and horrible fight with him. He gives you an exact account or journal of that Voyage from_ Bantam _to_ Surrat.

Having buried our dead, we resolv’d upon a General Counsel, to see what we had done, and what we had left undone. We found that half our ready money was disburst, and that we had above half as much goods upon Credit, as our whole sum amounted to, and now resolving to make a final and speedy dispatch of all, I got all my Estate aboard not leaving any thing valuable behind me, excepting only what was in the house for the accommodation of my Guests, having an happy opportunity of conveying my own Goods with the Captains, and others that were concern’d with us the _Scrivener_, and the rest did the like.