Part 3

At midnight she and her Husband entred the Gentlemans Chamber through a private door which was hid behind the hangings, a Sally-port for a thousand Rogueries they committed; mine Host with a Pillow he had brought with him, and the assistance of his wife, smothered the Gentleman as he lay in his bed, having so done, and putting on his Cloathes, they laid him down into the Stable, and there with a Rope ty’d to a beam, they hung him up, and so went to Bed; In the morning the Hostler going into the Stable found a Gentleman there hanging, upon sight whereof he ran into the house with an Outcry, which quickly reacht the ears of the Neighbourhood, so that in an instant the house was filled with people, every one giving his Verdict as his imagination prompted him; the general Vogue was that for some discontent he had thus desperately made away with himself. This old Beldam had the impudence to come into the Throng of the people, and there declare her Hypocritical sorrow for the death of her Guest, protesting that she would have given an hundred pounds with all her heart, that no such thing had hapned in her house. I took notice, said the Host, of his extraordinary melancholy last night, and reproving him for his unsociableness, he clapt his hand upon his breast, and with erected eyes to heaven, he groaned so loud and long that I thought it would have been his last. This prodigious lye would have wrought wonderfully upon the belief of the People, being a strong Circumstance of his despair or great discontent, had not this unlucky boy which I told you of before, cryed out, true good people, I heard him groan too, but it was when my Master and Mistress were hanging him up in the Stable, what they had been doing with him before I know not, but I saw them as I lay under the manger bring in his body, which seem’d to me as dead, and had they seen me, I believe I had not been now living; my Mistress had the chiefest hand in this work as I judge, for she got up into the Rack, and stradling the beam tyed the Rope, then did my Master raise the body in his Arms for her to put the noose about his neck; this is a truth said he, for which I will rather dy then deny.

His Master hearing this, and being conscious to himself that this was no ly which the boy said, betook himself to his heels, whilst his wife with a brazen countenance was justifying her innocence. The people seeing the flight of one, and the matchless impudence of the other, concluded them guilty; and laying hands on her first, and hold of him after, they secured them with the boy till the Constable was fetched, who came immediately and carried them before a Justice, where being examined they stood out stiffly in their own vindication, maugre the boys peremptory and undaunted accusation; In fine their guilty consciences would not let them longer persist in their justification, but confest the Fact that it was an hundred pounds which was committed to their charge by the Gentleman, that first tempted them to smother him, the Devil helping them to way they thought undiscoverable. They were committed to a Goal, where they lay till Assizes; at which time they were both sentenced to dye.

Glad was I that it should come into my head to ramble into the Countrey at that nick of time, for my extraordinary familiarity with them might have raised a suspition to the endangering of my person, besides the boy which accused them had a spight against me for causing him to be soundly bang’d sometimes for some Roguish trick he served me; one he play’d a little before this Murder was committed, and being basted for it, I heard him say mutteringly, he would find a time to be even, judge you whether he be not, however thus he was an unhappy Roguish boy, yet Heaven judged him a fit Instrument to discover a deed so bloody and horribly wicked.

Coming to the place of Execution, I could not see in my Hosts face any considerable marks of remorse or penitency, only the fear of Death had screwed his face into a hundred ugly affrighting formes: She for her part ascended the Ladder after she had seen the death of her Husband, with magnanimity and Courage; having been in Prison according to report, the greatest Penitent that ever was known to go thence and suffer as a Malefactor, I say she standing undauntedly on the Ladder, spake to the People after this manner, which I here recount as carrying some very remarkable things in it.

The Speech of a Notoriously-wicked Woman at her Execution.

_Christian People, the greatness of my sins have cry’d loud to Heaven for Vengeance a long time, but Mercy hath interceded for the prolongation of my life, to give me a long and fair opportunity for Repentance, but this long forbearance hath but hardned my heart, and made it obdurate; so that my black and horrid Sins grew so numerous that they awakened divine Justice (which hitherto seemed to sleep) to find me out, and bring me to this shameful and condign punishment. As I am here before you a sad spectacle of misery, so I hope you will beg of God mercy for my poor sinful soul, which from my Cradle to this time hath been polluted not with Crimes of a common Die, but such as were conceived in the Womb of Hell, and Midwiv’d by me into this wicked world. What Tragical unpattern’d Mischiefs they have acted on the Theatre of my native Countrey, my tongue (that cursed Accessary in the ruine of some Families) shall not conceal from you, since I cannot hide them from the knowledge of God Allmighty._

_When I was so young I wanted power to perpetrate Villany, I had strong inclinations to the acting thereof; I was no sooner wean’d, but I had like to have killed that Mother who gave me life, by pricking her in the naked breast with a Bodkin I took out of her Head-cloaths, she being then half asleep, holding me in her Lap, when I arrived to the age of fifteen, the boiling of my blood would not let me rest till I had somewhat qualified its heat in the unlawful reception of a young man, after which sinful act I found my self with Child, to prevent the shame whereof I murdered it, thinking to hide one smaller sin by the greatness of another; the death I am about to suffer should have been the reward of that execrable murder; and I now wish it had been so, for then I had not strangled in the very birth (to abscond my whoredom from my Husband) a Child, the product of my insatiate lust with a_ Blackmoor, _who afterwards lost his own life in the destructions of my Husbands; neither had I been the cause of the death of two more, had I not been the basely obscene Prostitute to them both._

_But one more remarkable murder then any yet I have related, I must not conceal, the burden whereof lies like a mountain on my already over-loaded Conscience. Passing one time for a maid, though then a common debauched whore, this Inn-keeper, (my fellow-sufferer, and justly so, since he was my Co-partner and Complotter in a thousand Roguish Contrivances) courted me to be his Wife: being informed of his wealth I easily condescended, not regarding his goodness so much as his Goods, and lest he might find what I was on our Nuptial Night; I caused a pure, but poor Virgin whom I hired to lye in my place for that time, but over-sleeping her prefixt time I had appointed for my exchanging places with her, I was forc’d to fire the house, in which confusion she running down to a Well in the yard to get water, I pursued her, and partly to be revenged, and partly to be secured from her future discovery, I tumbled her into the Well, and there she perished: As to the last murther of this Gentlemen, I must needs confess my Husband, though superlatively wicked, had no inclination thereunto, had I not perswaded him; nay, upbraided him with pusillanimity and cowardize if he would not be my Coadjutor and Assistant therein. Now do I wish from the bottom of my disconsolate Soul, I had as many lives as deaths I have occasioned, to offer up as a Sacrifice which might expiate so many crying sins of murder, as I have committed in my life time, this one is too small a satisfaction for the loss of so many. And had I not forfeited it to the Law, yet I ought not to live, considering the debauched course of life I ever liv’d, being no more than a rank stinking weed, which hindred, nay choak’d the growth of wholesom herbs and flowers, which otherwise might have proved delightful in their fragrancy._

_And now to conclude, if you intend to escape this shameful punishment, and not to be made an example to others, as I am now to you, shun all these Vices and Debaucheries which have dragged me to this accursed end, and do not promise to your selves a better conclusion, if from the beginning thereof you continue the prosecution of vicious and debauched Courses; I was as confident as any he or she here, that hanging was too ignominious a death for such a piece of Gallantry as I was, but assure your self Heaven has no respect of persons; the Sword of Justice spares no more the shining Gallant and huffing_ Bravo, _than the meanest smutty Tinker; And so desiring the Prayers of the Spectators for her, having rendred her private Applications for her eternal concern, she gave the sign to the Hangman, and she was so turned off._

* * * * *

This speech of the dying person Mistress _Dorothy_ rehearsed to me, with so much passion, giving each word so becoming an accent, that I must confess to you it wrought wonderfully on me, nay it so startled me, that I now began to consider what would become of me since laying aside murder, (having never imbrewed my hands in blood) I was more notorious in all manner of Vice than the narrowness of a female Soul could be capable of imagining much less of acting, why should I then humor myself into a fancy of escaping, since I have seen so many dismal Examples of this nature, some whereof I have told you, and more I shall of my intimates in the prosecution of my Story, who notwithstanding they have craftily endeavoured to conceal their nefarious actions and projections, yet have been found out by the omnipotent, nay then when they thought him to sleep over their hainous transgressions, which puts me in mind of an excellent passage of _Juvenal_, though he be a Heathen, in his Satyr 13.

——————— _Fatebere tandem Nec surdum, nec tiresiam, quenquam esse Deorum._

_Let us confess, since we at last shall finde, None of the Gods are either deaf, or blind._

Craving pardon of Mistress _Dorothy_, I desired her to proceed, which she did in this manner: Having staid the Execution of my old friend (which was no small trouble to me,) but durst not be present lest she should discover my Rogueries too, since she was so ingenious to acknowledge her own to the world; I say, I staid no longer than to get what things I had ready, and desiring the Soldier to attend me to _London_, he had so much favor from his Office, as to get a furlow for eight weeks, and so away we march’d: Immediately after our arrival, I took Lodgings in _Covent-Garden_, and having cloath’d him like a Gentleman as he was, we agreed to call each other Cousin, lodging under one and the same Roof. His company was very agreeable and complaisant, which made me take a great delight in his society. He had a good command of his Mother-tongue, expressing every thing eloquently and facetely, which his invention furnished his mouth withal; when at any time we were alone, he would be continually telling me one Story or other, but chiefly a great many beyond Sea Cheats, some whereof he was an eye-witness, but because they all concerned his own Sex, I desired that he would give himself the trouble to recount something of ours; undoubtedly, said I, you were acquainted with the females abroad as well as at home, and I cannot be so ignorant to believe you have not conversed with them. Yes, replyed he, or else I had been to blame, and should have lost one of the principal ends I went for, If I had not been acquainted as well with the _Madam_, as the _Monsieur_; but, continued he, I do not think it proper to recount any of the frailties of women to one of that Sex, that discourse is more proper with men when we triumph and boast of our witty encounters, and waggish over-reachings of that Sex. But, replyed I to him, as you have done all this, and spent some time in the recitals, so I pray let me further engage you to acquaint me with somewhat of that nature. That you may see, replyed he, how much I am your Servant, I will obey you, and tell you two Stories of two women, who were excellent, and their Stories considerable different.

CHAP. III.

_The Gentleman Soldier gives an account how he came acquainted with an extraordinary beautiful, yet seemingly reserved_ Courtezan, _who slighting him having spent all upon her, he makes himself amends, by cheating her of what she had gotten; he gains acquaintance with a Mercers Wife by a mistake, or rather by Letters falling accidentally into his hands, that were sent her by her_ Inamoretto, _by which means he finds a sufficient reward, besides his sensual enjoyment of so lively and grateful a Mistress._

Be pleased to know then, continued he, that when I came first into _Paris_, I supposed that as I was young, handsome, and in a very rich gentle Garb, so I did believe that it would not be long e’re I should have some Message or invitation from some Madam or other, but although I waited long for this Adventure, yet I met with nothing to that purpose, but all the _French_-Ladies although they are in their converse open and free, yet come up close to them, and they are as cold as _December_ or that which is colder, Charity, they would not at all be so charitable to me a stranger, as permit me to close with them, so that I thought I must have returned from thence as wise as I went, for any thing I should know of women; I finding that of my self I could not do any thing, therefore I observed those of my acquaintance what they did in that Case, and at length I found that for all their braggs they were as well furnished with Mistresses as I was, and indeed had none, or at the least none at all that they durst particularly own, but a poor common _Courtesanna_: I seeing there was no better to be had, was resolved rather than fail to put in there, and to play at small Game rather than stand out: wherefore I took the next opportunity of going with one of my acquaintance to one of those houses, but although I had fasted a great while, yet my stomach was so squeamish that I liked nothing that was there, but only in drinking and talking spent some time and so departed.

I was observed whilest I was there by an old grave Matrona, who two or three days after, meeting me, alone, told me that she had seen me at the house aforesaid, by which she could guess at my business, and finding that there was never a Dish that liked my Pallat, and being desirous to be civil to, and accommodate all strangers, she would pleasure me so far, as to bring me acquainted with the most celebrated beauty of all _Paris_. I liked her Proposition; first gave her thanks, and then told her if she would name the time and place, I would gladly wait on her; She told me that she was ready at all times and in all places to serve me, and that I might therefore appoint what time I pleas’d. I who had no business but my pleasure answered that if she would about four of the Clock in the afternoon come to the Place where we then were, I would not fail to meet her, she telling me that she would come at the time, we parted; I went to sprucifie my self and put Money in my pocket, and she went as I suppose to prepare the Madam to receive me. The time being come, I went to the place appointed, where I met with my Conductress who already waited for me, I went with her, and in short time we arrived at the house intended, I was conducted up stairs, and received by the Lady with much kindness; the old woman made a Speech to us both, tending to the purpose intended, and then wine being call’d for and a Banquet, we regalled our selves, and spent our time in pleasant conversation; the old woman knowing what I came for, in convenient time left me alone with the Lady, who permitted me to take the satisfaction I desired, and then I giving her a handful of Crown-pieces, which was the key of the work, and she promising me a continuance of her love. The old woman was again call’d for, when she came we renewed our discourse, which continuing for some time longer, I also giving somewhat to the old woman, and the Servants of the house, we soon after parted.

As I went to my lodging I considered of the Adventure I had met with, and the next day enquired what this Lady was, and upon enquiry found that she was a Right _Bona Roba_, but such an one that was not ordinary, but reserved, and only kept company with the better sort of _Monsieurs_, I was well enough pleas’d, with what had happened, and was resolved during my stay in _Paris_ to look no further after any female, and accordingly I often frequented her house, and was received as kindly as I could expect, I commanded the house in all I pleased, and lay there when I thought good; but this my pleasure consumed and confounded my pocket, and my allowance from _England_ being but small, was in short time so wasted that I could not hold out to spend so largely as I had done, and as the strength of my pocket decreased, so did her love diminish, and when I had no more mony, she had no more love. _No longer pipe, no longer dance_, and now as others had formerly been denied, and kept out of her doors, to entertain me, so then the doors were shut against me for others; I was vexed at the baseness and ingratitude of this woman, and resolv’d to be revenged of her if I could, and I made it my only study to do so, I had written into _England_ for mony, which was in short time to come, till when I plaid the good husband, and staid within doors, and so recovered my expences, so that when my mony came, I was in Capacity to put new Cloaths on my back, and good store of Crowns in my pocket, I likewise borrowed some Rings of some of my acquaintance, to whom I communicated my design, desiring their assistance, which they accordingly promised me. Being thus well furnished, and set out with good outside, new Clothes, I again attempted to see my _quondam_ Mistress, but was the first time denied entrance, although I was so liberal as to give the Servant a Crown-piece, and thereby had the means to discover that I had more of the same in my pocket, but the next time that I came thither, I was admitted, and my Mistress pleasantly saluting me, told me that I was very welcome from my Voyage: I ask’d what Voyage? she told me from _England_; I replyed I had not been there lately; she told me that then some body had abused her and me both, and told lies of me; for, said she, I did not question if you had been in these parts, but I should have seen you, where you alwaies have been welcome; for, continued she, you know that so long as I have a house you may command your welcome in it; I but, thought I, to little purpose, and concluded that all these terms of welcome were but words of Dissimulation, and would last no longer than my money did in pocket, but being resolved to prosecute my design, I would not so far take notice of what she said as to quarrel with her about it, but using my former wonted freedom, I sate down, and call’d for such Wine and other things as I had a mind to, and spent two or three hours very pleasantly with her; and by that means renewing my acquaintance, I gave no occasion of distrust of what I intended. During my stay there, I gave her the convenience of seeing a rich Gold Watch I had in my pocket, and several Rings I had on my fingers, and that my pockets were very well lyned with Silver and Gold, and drawing out as much as was sufficient, I delivered it to her Servant to provide a Supper against the next night, when I told her I would return and sup, and lye there, she telling me I should be welcome, we for that time parted. I then went to two or three of my acquaintance who were to help me in my Design, and directing them what to do, the time appointed being come, I went to her house, and knowing that my Mistress was a great Lover of wine, and that it would be necessary to make her drunk, I carried some bottles with me; being arrived there, she again kindly welcomed me, and pleas’d her eyes with beholding my rich Suit of Cloaths, my Watch, Rings, and the fulness of my pockets, not questioning but that I would leave a good part of these behind me, but she reckoned without her Host, as I shall presently tell you.

Supper being ready we sate down at the Table, and did eat plentifully, but did drink more abundantly, I telling her that she must be merry, she to oblige me drank of her Cups so roundly, that she fell asleep as she sate at the Table, from whence I caused her to be carried to bed, where she was no sooner laid, but she fell a snoaring. I then having given the Servants a dose of the same Liquor caused them to go to Bed, telling them that I could undress my self, and go to bed without their assistance.

I then being alone looked about to see what was to be done, I there saw a Cabinet wherein was the womans Jewels and money, and looking a little further I saw her Cloathes, and some Plate, and not long after my friends whom I had appointed being come, I began to work, first I threw down out at the window her best Cloathes, and all my own, and by the help of her Garters I let down the Cabinnet, her Plate, and so much as the silver Candlestick which we had used; this done, I left the window open, and then went to Bed to my Lady, who although she slept hard at present, yet before morning she awaked, and then we spent our time as we formerly had done; and being somewhat wearied, we again went to sleep, but about an hour after awaking and finding that it was broad-day-light, I called out for the Servant to bring me my Clothes that I might rise, in regard (as I said) that I had some business to dispatch that morning. But the Servant looking about for them and not seeing them, nor her Mistresses, nor the Cabinets, nor the Candlesticks, and missing many things, which she had over night left in the Chamber, and seeing one of the Chamber windows open, she cryed out, O Lord Madam, we are robb’d; at this cry her Mistress drawing the Curtain, ask’d what was the matter for that noise? O Lord, replyed the wench, we are robb’d, for I cannot see your Clothes, your Cabinet, your Plate, nor several other things. Heavens forbid, said the Mistress, I hope you lye; no truly Mistress, continued the wench. Where then, said I, is my Clothes? They are likewise stolen, replied the Wench, for I cannot find them. At this word I seem’d to be mightily astonished, and thereupon I said,