Part 2

Supper, by that time we had chatted a little longer (_modo Italiano_) was served to the Table, and with some Ceremony seated our selves, without his Wife or Daughters, although he had both, and as I afterwards found, had such angelical countenances, that in stead of obscuring or absconding so great a lustre, he might have gloried in communicating their external perfections to our sight, which were illustrated by the adjuncts of so many transcendent concurrences of beautiful _Ideas_.

We did not _German_-like after this Evenings Repast, presently fall to drinking as if we had lately swallowed the Offals of half a dozen slaughter-houses, and now were pouring down liquor in abundance to sweeten the Funnel or cleanse the Common-shore that the filth had contaminated within us; but instead thereof we entred into very pleasant and agreeable discourse, every one having the liberty of inlarging it as he thought fit without interruption.

Among a great variety of several Subjects, that of Phantasms and Aparitions fell in our way, one affirming he believ’d that though Spirits might appear formerly, yet it would not enter into his belief that now there was any such thing; Nay, said another, methinks you may be easily convinc’d of the contrary by those Legions of stories to this purpose, so that I should think there should be some Fire whence all this Smoak comes. Said the Master of the house, if you will not believe what is contained in so many Volumes written by the Pens of so many learned and pious Divines, believe yet the reports of such as now are living, have seen Phantasms in several shapes, and have heard their terrifying noise, amongst whom I am one, and I shall tell you to my great trouble that this very house of mine is to this day, from a considerable time since, afflicted with horrible Apparitions. Gentlemen, said he, fear not, he confines himself to one Room only, and so, that he that lyeth in the next, shall be so far from being disturbed, that he shall neither see nor hear anything: and this is the Room, speaking to us, which this disturbed Fiend makes his Rendezvouz, and for no other reason I refused you Lodging, all my other Rooms being prepossess’d by those Gentlemen my _Amigo’s_. This shall not daunt us, said I, but we will lie there this night that we may resolve to morrow what is now much doubted.

Bidding them good night, several offer’d themselves to accompany us till morn, but we refus’d it, judging their proffer a Complement by the pallid hue of their countenances. It was not long after our departure e’re every one in the whole house betook themselves to their respective Chambers there to take their rest. My stout Captain (as I have sufficiently made appear) had no mind to take any, either for fear he should be caught napping by the Fiend, or else seeing him by flight, escape him; I was partly of his mind too, rather desiring to contend with a thousand men than one Devil. The Captain and my self sate up in our Room till we judg’d it to be about midnight, and then seeing nothing (our eyes being almost shut by sitting up so long) we went to bed, and quickly fell asleep.

Our _Mulletteer_ (either having not filled his belly at Supper, or the remembrance of such excellent food which he had seen not letting him sleep till he had the other bout with it) got up where he lay, and having observed where the Servants had placed on a shelf a large Dish of most incomparable food in a small Closet accompanied with several flasks of _Flowrence_-wine, he softly crope down the stairs, and got to this Room where the delights of his heart stood, but endeavouring to take down the dish (which proving too heavy for him to manage) slipt out of his hands, and in its fall broke down a small shelf that had a great many Pewter-plates thereon, with other rattling stuff, all which together made a fearful noise, and so great that not a Person in the house but what awak’d thereat; but such was their Courage that not one of them would stir, for they now really concluded the Spirit was come, as for my own part my Captain and self were so terrified and affrighted at this hideous noise that we now believed what reports we heard, and therefore were resolved to lye a bed, and sweat our selves to death, rather than rise in that reaking condition and endanger our lives by catching cold, as the sweat dropt from us, so we trembled that the bed shook, I am sure it was not with cold.

Whilst we were in this fearful Agony, the Rogue our _Mulletteer_, who listning what effects this clutting Alarm would produce, and hearing no person stirring, concluded we were all dead asleep through the whole house, fell on manfully on the Cheer that was before him, getting out some Bottles of Wine, interloyning every bit with a large soop of the bottle, having now stuft his gut and fill’d his head with the fumes of Wine, which he drank at no aim, he gets to the stairs, but the covetous and provident Rascal fearing he should be dry before morning, steps back and takes with him a flask of that wine he had already so freely drank of, and mounts the stairs softly with it in his hand, advancing to the top of the stairs, directly against which our Chamber-door stood, he stumbled upon the head of the stairs, and endeavouring to save himself and the Bottle, he raised that hand aloft, wherein it was, and falling, not being able to recover himself, dasht the Bottle against our door with so much fury, that I do not think there was a piece of the glass in the flask the breadth of a shilling, the suddain surprize of this dismal and horrid thump made the Captain start with such a leap that he fell out of the bed, bearing the Bed-staff with him which so rattled in his fall, that this added very much to the horrour that had invaded all our spirits. This noise in our Chamber confirmed the justness of their fears throughout the house, only that of our Mulletters was of a different nature; for he believing his Masters (as he call’d us) were getting up to find what was the matter, endeavoured to get down the said way he got up, but groaping with his hands, met with the shattered flask on the top of the stairs, which tumbling down to the bottom, the noise of the fractur’d glass perfectly resembled the gingling of Chains.

It is impossible for me to characterize their fear and fright, both which together had so totally routed what courage they had within them, that a Corporal Pygmie with two files of revolted Cranes would at that time have taken them all Prisoners. Our _Mulletteer_ fearing by this second alarm that he should now infallibly wake some of the house; who finding him in that condition would undoubtedly suspect him of some vilanous Design, therefore thought it his safest way to march down again, and lay his Carkass any where till it was day, Being half way down the stairs, he could hear the voice of one crying, _Il Diabolo, Il Diabolo_, The Devil, the Devil, repeating it often, which so affrighted him that he thought to have returned back, but hearing the noise go from him, with the trampling of feet on the stones as in flight, he boldly pursued them, _Questo Diabolo_, what Devil, and where, I am none, but I will see what Devil you are. These were three Rogues which had a long time design’d to rob this house, not living far off it; who were well acquainted with this house, and had heard that it was visited by Phantasms; now as they were about to mount the stairs they met with the flask, and broken glass in it, which frighted them away from that enterprize as effectually, as if the Devil with the gingling his Chains had come to meet them.

Our _Mulletteer_ had not been so long a Rogue, condemned twice to be a Gally slave, and very narrowly escap’d from being broken on the wheel, but that he quickly smelt the plot of these three Night-walkers, that they were only bent on mischief, so taking advantage of the fright their guilty Consciences put them in, he seized one of their Swords, which he exercised so well that they found they had another sort of spirit to deal with, than what they had fled from; it being a _Devil incarnate_; disarming the Thieves he raised the house, but with much ado, and had not done it, had he not shown their light in their Dark lanthorn, none yet daring to be so bold as to come down in the dark to light a Candle; and now they began to creep out of their Chambers with as much caution, as if their way had been planted with _Spanish_-needles. The Captain and my self waited when some others would stir first, and others exspected the like from us, but at length casting off this enslaving Cowardise, we went down the stairs, meeting with the Gentleman of the house, accompanied with some of his last nights Guests, and so descended into the Court-yard together, where we found our _Mulletteer_ with Swords enough to furnish us all, his Captives lying at his feet not daring to stir; these, said he, are the Devils that haunt this house, but I will lay them for you, I will conjure them far enough off if you will but say the word; leading them into the Hall, we met with one of the Menials of the house whose haste had made him (after an hours consideration what was best to be done) to leave his Doublet behind him, yet forgot not his Sword.

Upon his first Examination they confest what they intended to do, that there was four more in their company who had made their escape, but were ignorant of what they carryed with them. Their own confession was a sufficient conviction, and so they were secured for the present, by tying Neck and Heels together.

The old Gentleman missing some of his friends, began to condemn them for their sluggishness, and supinity; come, said he, let us take them napping and in that posture upbraid them with their sloath: We hereupon followed him up stairs, and entring their Chambers found nought but the furniture therein; without speaking one word, away he ran hastily to his Daughters Chamber, but found that as empty of Lodgers as the rest; and a Cabinet which he committed to her custody gone, which was worth a very valuable sum: at the sight hereof you might have blown the old Gentleman down, had not passion animated him and kept him up from sinking, which he discharg’d so violently on those that were left behind, which were the aged Kindred of the young man that had stoln this fair Maid away, that as much as ever they could do to bear the shock, but at last unanimously protesting they were innocent and ignorant of what was done, and promising they would use their utmost assistance and endeavour in the speedy restitution of his Daughter inviolated, he believ’d them guiltless, and begg’d them to be as good as their word.

And now consulting what he should do with his Prisoners, he was advised to send his man for an Officer, and secure them in a place not far distant, erected for the confinement of Felons, Murderers, &c. as he was going out he had forgot his Doublet for haste, although he had his Sword on, wherefore he was call’d back, who being ordered to fetch it first, was prevented by the Maids coming full butt as he was going in the search thereof, he would have pass’d her, had I not perceived she had a thing like a Waste-coat on, and therefore calling to him, said, Save your self the labour, here is what you are going to seek for; coming back he found his Doublet on the maids back, I imagining whence this Mistake did arise, to make our sorrowful Landlord a little sport, Sir, said I, Do you not see your Maid hath got your mans Doublet already, and will no doubt, get his Breeches too if you do not prevent it; and then looking to his leggs and seeing what a traiterous mistake he had committed; Do you Sir, said I, buy your mans Stockings of two different colours, the one is blue, you see, the other grey; hereupon the maids Stockings were examined and found to be on the one side gray, the other side true blue. This made the Company all laugh, neither could the old Gentleman forbear to smile, but having other business to think on, commanded them to restore to each other what they had borrowed, and he would take a time to examine the cause thereof, plain enough from what was seen to outward appearance.

These Rogues being committed to a publick Goal, he could not be quiet but he must go into his Daughters Chamber again, and upon a review thereof found a Letter directed to him, to this purpose:

Sir,

Y_ou may justly blame me for leaving your House without your consent or privity, but when you shall consider it was to avoid my eternal ruine, I hope the Sentence and Punishment which my disobedience doth deserve may prove more favourably merciful; hitherto you have been the sole Monarch of both mind and body, but play not the Tyrant by making my will your eternal Slave. Sir, Youth cannot look through those Spectacles which are useful to Age, nor can my inclination suit with your choice. I am now with him whom I love more than my self, nor can I esteem of that Gentleman of_ Catania _whom you have selected for me, otherwise than the designed Murderer of my quiet. If you will sequester me from my Choice, I will seclude my self from all in a Monastery._

Having read these lines he raved out-right, some times condemning his rigid destiny, then exclaiming against the perfidiousness of such who under the pretence of friendship should be his undoers; But having tired himself with these fruitless complaints, he soberly ask’d our advice what he should do in this intricacy. We all advised him to follow them close at heels with all imaginable expedition, the Captain and my self promising him our Company in the search; the next day mounted we rode the way wherein we guest the Gentlemen were gone with the young Gentlewoman, and having rid about ten miles from _Gergento_, the place from whence we came, we overtook two fellows who gave us cause to suspect them by their looks and habits, whilst I was acquainting the old Gentleman with my thoughts of them, they liking not our whispering betook themselves to their heels, which so increased our jealousie, that with Whip and Spur I soon overtook them, they resisted me for a while, but being overpoured by number yielded, searching them we found little money, the old Gentleman viewing them strictly, saw his own Coat upon one of their backs, and now concluding that these were the Rogues that had his Cabinet too, made a very strict research but to no purpose, they denying they had ever seen such a thing; but this served not their turns, and although we should hinder our intent in prosecuting a better discovery, yet we thought it very requisite to return and secure them with the rest of their fellows.

Coming home to his own house, he understood that the maid which particularly had waited a long time on his Daughter was suddenly gone, giving to none an account why or wherefore, but she was watch’d to go such a way: We were now all verily perswaded she was gone in quest of her Mistress, and that by tracking her, we should know where she was. The advise was well resented and speedily prosecuted, with such good success, as in less than a days time we found this Gillian and her companion footing it in great haste towards _Catania_, but we soon stopt their Journey, and discovered, they had got what the poor Gentlewoman was accused of, she had given it to her Friend to carry, but they were both like to bear the weight of the burthen. Examining her, she confest when she saw her Mistress was gone from her Father, and imagining she would be suspected to carry the Cabinet with her, (which would support her, should her Father frown for ever) she took that opportunity to enrich her self, and that Friend with her.

It was well this timely discovery was made for the five Rogues in Goal, it was as good as a Pardon after condemnation past, and now the old Gentleman seeing he had lost nothing, and that his Daughter with her disobedience was unjustly suspected a thief, he franckly protested before us all, that he would never put a restriction on his Daughters choice, but would freely give his consent to whom she thought so worthy as to be her Husband; This Protestation was immediately dispatch’d away, by one that knew where our Lovers were, which happy News recall’d them home to their mutual satisfactions, and that the sufferings of her Maid and Friend might not eclipse the Joy and Gladness which attended their Hymenial Rites, she begg’d her Father to forgive them all, who to gratifie their desires prosecuted none of those notorious Offenders; and so we shall leave this joyful Couple to spin out the Thread of their delight equally to that of their lives education.

_Were ever men so scar’d, did ever fright So seize weak Mortals in the dead of night? Could a bare noise affright when nought appear’d? And being afraid we knew not what we fear’d: One hid his head all underneath the cloaths, Lest that the Fiend should take him by the Nose: Dumb was he too, for not a word did pass, Lest that should tell him where about he was. My Friend, the Captain, whom I will not wrong, Did ne’re before to me smell half so strong: My panting heart (I almost stew’d to death) Did beat so fast I could not draw my breath. Now comes the worst, the noise approach’d more near, All things combin’d for to increase our fear. Mounting the stairs Old_ Nick _was drunk I think, To break his Bottle, and to spill his drink: The ratling Flask tumbling the stairs amain, Did make us think the Devil shook his Chain. But now th’ appearance of the Morning-light, Gave us new life, and put our fears to flight: For now we found, for all the peoples talk, The Sp’rit was quiet, but the Thieves did walk. This house these haunted which were worser Evils, Than Fiends or Goblins, Damn’d-incarnate-Devils. This Apparition plainly did discover, That this same night the Maid lay with her Lover. For the Stockings and the Doublet did disclose, The match they made had thus mismatch’d their Cloths._

CHAP. II.

_They are ship’d from_ Palermo _to_ Naples, _by the way Mistress_ Dorothy _continues the story of her Hostess who was hanged with her Husband for a Murder, the like was never heard of, her notorious confession at the Gallows of all her former Villanies_: Latroons _reflections on it. Mistress_ Dorothy _and her Companion the Souldier, return for_ London.

Our _Mulletteer_ was very well rewarded by our Entertainer, for the prevention of so much mischief, which had undoubtedly befel the Gentleman, had not this fellow gone down at that unseasonable time to stuff his insatiate guts. And now taking our leaves (the Gentleman and his friends being very unwilling and sorrowful to part with our Companies) away we came shaping our course for _Palermo_, where being arriv’d and finding out those Friends we had left too long, infinite was our satisfaction of meeting thus together again, but I I thought my _Jinny_ would have been transported with joy when she saw me, but recovering her self, she check’d me severely for staying so long from her beyond my promise. Our caresses were accompanied with what choice Viands and Wine the City could produce.

Having now pleased our sight with the curiosities of this place, we concluded upon a remove; and the next place pitcht on was _Naples_, and to the intent we might convey our moneys with greater safety thither, we took up Bills at _Palermo_ for 5000 pounds, drawn upon a Merchant of _Naples_, payable ten days after sight. Having shipp’d our selves, with all conveniences, that our Voyage might not seem tedious, I desired Mistress _Dorothy_ to divert the Company with the continuation of her Story. Ah Master _Latroon_! (said she) your Request renews my grief, by putting me in mind of the loss of my dear Companion _Mall_, however I shall endeavour to satisfie your desire, and having given a summary account to the Captain and the rest, which had not heard anything of her former relation, of what was before discovered, she commenc’d her following discourse where she before left off, _viz._ her coming acquainted with the Soldier, and then she thus proceeded.

Being rid of my great Belly, and having now gotten me a good round sum of money, I took my pleasure with as much freedom as my unlimited desires could prompt me to, I was frequently at the old womans the Hostess, (_alias_ my Procuress) where I found conveniences for all my secret, crafty, and pleasant Designs, and indeed to give her her due, she was no Back-friend to me, this was the place which I made my general Rendezvouz; here I did use to meet with my Friends, and here did I converse with my Soldier of Fortune (as I have already told you) before I make any further progress, give me leave to rehearse a Copy of Verses (which I got by heart) of his own composition, which he made upon the cunning trick he found in conjuring for food for his hungry Landlord and his own half famisht worship, which were these:

_Hunger’s a Whetstone that so sharpens Wit, It cuts away for some to feed by it. For stomacks cramm’d with Lethargies do blind The active wit, and hebetates the mind. The Grammer-school when it hath spawn’d the Fry Either to_ Oxford _or to_ Cambridge _hye: Where lest they should by too much food grow dull, They scarce in seven years have their belly full. That Barresters at Bar may louder bawl, See the short Commons that art in the Hall. ’Tis plenty rusts our Valour, when we need, Rather than starve, we there can bravely bleed: For food we fight, for which we Centry stand, Want makes our wit as active as our hand. Thus did my wit shew to my wants a way To fill its belly, and increase my pay, Hence I may say that I do live by wit, For I’ve got money, and a Wench with it. Grammercy Wit, help and assist me still, He ne’re can want that hath but Wit at will._

This Souldier was a Gentleman of a good house, though fallen to decay, whose education might have renderd him capable of considerable employments, had not his Heroick inclination to the Wars taken his thoughts clearly off from every thing else. I appointed a day for this man of war, to attend me some few miles into the Countrey, having got leave of his Captain we went together, in the mean time my Hostess was spinning of Hemp, and by return had finisht a Rope for her self and Husband: and thus it was.

A single Gentleman came as a Traveller to lodge in her Inn, having set up his Horse, and his Portmantua carried to his Chamber, he knocks for his Landlady, who coming up to him he acquaints her that he thought he should make a stay for two or three days, and therefore delivers into her hands a bag of one hundred pounds, desiring her to lay it up safe for him, she took the Bag and promised to keep it safe, and so she did from him: The Devil was one of her Privy Councel who advised her to perswade her Husband to murder the Gentleman for his money, which thus they cunningly effected as they thought, but he that did set them at work will pay them their wages.