Category: Humour

The doctor, &c., vol. 7 (of 7)

QUESTION CONCERNING THE USE OF TONGUES.—THE ATHANASIAN CONFESSORS.—GIBBON'S RELATION OF THE SUPPOSED MIRACLE OF TONGUES.—THE FACTS SHOWN TO BE TRUE, THE MIRACLE IMAGINARY, AND THE HISTORIAN THE DUPE OF HIS OWN UNBELIEF.

Chapters

1. CHAPTER CCI.—p. 1.

QUESTION CONCERNING THE USE OF TONGUES.—THE ATHANASIAN CONFESSORS.—GIBBON'S RELATION OF THE SUPPOSED MIRACLE OF TONGUES.—THE FACTS SHOWN TO BE TRUE, THE MIRACLE IMAGINARY, AND T...

2. CHAPTER CCII.—p. 15.

As I have gained no small satisfaction to myself,—so I am desirous that nothing that occurs here may occasion the least dissatisfaction to others. And I think it will be impossi...

3. CHAPTER CCIII.—p. 23.

WHETHER A MAN AND HIMSELF BE TWO.—MAXIM OF BAYLE'S.—ADAM LITTLETON'S SERMONS,—A RIGHT HEARTED OLD DIVINE WITH WHOM THE AUTHOR HOPES TO BE BETTER ACQUAINTED IN A BETTER WORLD.—TH...

4. CHAPTER CCIV.—p. 35.

5. CHAPTER CCV.—p. 41.

EQUALITY OF THE SEXES,—A POINT ON WHICH IT WAS NOT EASY TO COLLECT THE DOCTOR'S OPINION.—THE SALIC LAW.—DANIEL ROGERS'S TREATISE OF MATRIMONIAL HONOUR.—MISS HATFIELD'S LETTERS O...

6. CHAPTER CCVI.—p. 51.

THE SUBJECT CONTINUED.—OPINIONS OF THE RABBIS.—ANECDOTE OF LADY JEKYLL AND A TART REPLY OF WILLIAM WHISTON'S.—JEAN D'ESPAGNE.—QUEEN ELIZABETH OF THE QUORUM QUARUM QUORUM GENDER....

7. CHAPTER CCVII.—p. 60.

8. CHAPTER CCVIII.—p. 66.

VALUE OF WOMEN AMONG THE AFGHAUNS.—LIGON'S HISTORY OF BARBADOES, AND A FAVORITE STORY OF THE DOCTOR'S THEREFROM.—CLAUDE SEISSEL, AND THE SALIC LAW.—JEWISH THANKSGIVING.—ETYMOLOG...

9. CHAPTER CCIX.—p. 95.

10. CHAPTER CCX.—p. 122.

11. CHAPTER CCXI.—p. 126.

_S'il y a des lecteurs qui se soucient peu de cela, on les prie de se souvenir qu'un auteur n'est pas obligé à ne rien dire que ce qui est de leur goût._

12. CHAPTER CCXII.—p. 132.

13. CHAPTER CCXIII.—p. 143.

14. CHAPTER CCXIV.—p. 157.

15. CHAPTER CCXV.—p. 164.

We will not be too peremptory herein: and build standing structures of bold assertions on so uncertain a foundation; rather with the Rechabites we will live in tents of conjectu...

16. CHAPTER CCXVI.—p. 174.

17. CHAPTER CCXVII.—p. 182.

18. CHAPTER CCXVIII.—p. 193.

_Un cerchio immaginato ci bisogna, A voler ben la spera contemplare; Cosi chi intender questa storia agogna Conviensi altro per altro immaginare; Perchè qui non si canta, e fing...

19. CHAPTER CCXIX.—p. 203.

20. CHAPTER CCXX.—p. 211.

21. CHAPTER CCXXI.—p. 220.

22. CHAPTER CCXXII.—p. 245.

23. CHAPTER CCXXIII.—p. 259.

24. CHAPTER CCXXIV.—p. 269.

CHARLEMAGNE, CASIMIR THE POET, MARGARET DUCHESS OF NEWCASTLE, NOCTURNAL REMEMBRANCER.—THE DOCTOR NOT AMBITIOUS OF FAME.—THE AUTHOR IS INDUCED BY MR. FOSBROOKE AND NORRIS OF BEME...

25. CHAPTER CCXXV.—p. 275.

A Taylor who has no objection to wear motley, may make himself a great coat with half a yard of his own stuff, by eking it out with cabbage from every piece that comes in his way.

26. CHAPTER CCXXVI.—p. 283.

THE AUTHOR DIGRESSES A LITTLE, AND TAKES UP A STITCH WHICH WAS DROPPED IN THE EARLIER PART OF THIS OPUS.—NOTICES CONCERNING LITERARY AND DRAMATIC HISTORY, BUT PERTINENT TO THIS...

27. CHAPTER CCXXVII.—p. 317.

28. CHAPTER CCXXVIII.—p. 322.

RATS.—PLAN OF THE LAUREATE SOUTHEY FOR LESSENING THEIR NUMBER.—THE DOCTOR'S HUMANITY IN REFUSING TO SELL POISON TO KILL VERMIN, AFTER THE EXAMPLE OF PETER HOPKINS HIS MASTER.—PO...

29. CHAPTER CCXXIX.—p. 328.

Where my pen hath offended, I pray you it may be amended By discrete consideration Of your wise reformation: I have not offended, I trust, If it be sadly discust.

30. CHAPTER CCXXX.—p. 335.

I think it not impertinent sometimes to relate such accidents as may seem no better than mere trifles; for even by trifles are the qualities of great persons as well disclosed a...

31. CHAPTER CCXXXI.—p. 344.

QUESTION AS TO WHETHER BOOKS UNDER THE TERMINATION OF “ANA” HAVE BEEN SERVICEABLE OR INJURIOUS TO LITERATURE CONSIDERED IN CONNECTION WITH LUTHER'S TABLE TALK.—HISTORY OF THE EA...

32. CHAPTER CCXXXII.—p. 357.

33. CHAPTER CCXXXIII.—p. 370.

THE PETTY GERMAN PRINCES EXCELLENT PATRONS OF LITERATURE AND LEARNED MEN.—THE DUKE OF SAXE WEIMAR.—QUOTATION FROM BP. HACKET.—AN OPINION OF THE EXCELLENT MR. BOYLE.—A TENET OF T...

34. CHAPTER CCXXXIV.—p. 380.

OPINION OF A MODERN DIVINE UPON THE WHEREABOUT OF NEWLY DEPARTED SPIRITS.—ST. JOHN'S BURIAL, ONE RELIC ONLY OF THAT SAINT, AND WHEREFORE.—A TALE CONCERNING ABRAHAM, ADAM AND EVE.

35. CHAPTER CCXXXV.—p. 389.

36. CHAPTER CCXXXVI.—p. 418.

CHARITY OF THE DOCTOR IN HIS OPINIONS.—MASON THE POET.—POLITICAL MEDICINE.—SIR WILLIAM TEMPLE.—CERVANTES.—STATE PHYSICIANS.—ADVANTAGE TO BE DERIVED FROM, WHETHER TO KING, CABINE...

37. CHAPTER CCXXXVII.—p. 437.

38. CHAPTER CCXXXVIII.—p. 442.

SIMONIDES.—FUNERAL POEMS.—UNFEELING OPINION IMPUTED TO THE GREEK POET, AND EXPRESSED BY MALHERBE.—SENECA.—JEREMY TAYLOR AND THE DOCTOR ON WHAT DEATH MIGHT HAVE BEEN, AND WERE ME...

39. CHAPTER CCXXXIX.—p. 449.

THE DOCTOR DISSENTS FROM A PROPOSITION OF WARBURTON'S AND SHEWS IT TO BE FALLACIOUS.—HUTCHINSON'S REMARKS ON THE POWERS OF BRUTES.—LORD SHAFTESBURY QUOTED.—APOLLONIUS AND THE KI...

40. CHAPTER CCXL.—p. 473.

THE JESUIT GARASSE'S CENSURE OF HUARTE AND BARCLAY.—EXTRAORDINARY INVESTIGATION.—THE TENDENCY OF NATURE TO PRESERVE ITS OWN ARCHETYPAL FORMS.—THAT OF ART TO VARY THEM.—PORTRAITS...

41. CHAPTER CCXLI.—p. 495.

I will to satisfy and please myself, make an Utopia of mine own, a new Atlantis, a poetical commonwealth of mine own, in which I will freely domineer, build cities, make laws, s...

42. CHAPTER CCXLII.—p. 502.

—_Io non ci ho interresso Nessun, nè vi fui mai, ne manco chieggo Per quel ch'io ne vò dir, d'esservi messo. Vò dir, che senza passion eleggo, E non forzato, e senza pigliar par...

43. CHAPTER CCXLIII.—p. 512.

44. CHAPTER CCXLIV.—p. 513.

Now will ye list a little space, And I shall send you to solace; You to solace and be blyth, Hearken! ye shall hear belyve A tale that is of verity.

45. CHAPTER CCI.

QUESTION CONCERNING THE USE OF TONGUES.—THE ATHANASIAN CONFESSORS.—GIBBON'S RELATION OF THE SUPPOSED MIRACLE OF TONGUES.—THE FACTS SHOWN TO BE TRUE, THE MIRACLE IMAGINARY, AND T...

46. CHAPTER CCII.

As I have gained no small satisfaction to myself,—so I am desirous that nothing that occurs here may occasion the least dissatisfaction to others. And I think it will be impossi...

47. CHAPTER CCIII.

WHETHER A MAN AND HIMSELF BE TWO.—MAXIM OF BAYLE'S.—ADAM LITTLETON'S SERMONS,—A RIGHT HEARTED OLD DIVINE WITH WHOM THE AUTHOR HOPES TO BE BETTER ACQUAINTED IN A BETTER WORLD.—TH...

48. CHAPTER CCIV.

In the passage quoted from Adam Littleton in the preceding chapter, that good old divine enquired whether a man and himself were two. A Moorish prince in the most extravagant of...

49. CHAPTER CCV.

EQUALITY OF THE SEXES,—A POINT ON WHICH IT WAS NOT EASY TO COLLECT THE DOCTOR'S OPINION.—THE SALIC LAW.—DANIEL ROGERS'S TREATISE OF MATRIMONIAL HONOUR.—MISS HATFIELD'S LETTERS O...

50. CHAPTER CCVI.

THE SUBJECT CONTINUED.—OPINIONS OF THE RABBIS.—ANECDOTE OF LADY JEKYLL AND A TART REPLY OF WILLIAM WHISTON'S.—JEAN D'ESPAGNE.—QUEEN ELIZABETH OF THE QUORUM QUARUM QUORUM GENDER....

51. CHAPTER CCVII.

Let me see, who do I know among them. There is Mrs. Lapis Lazuli and her daughter Miss Ultramarine,—there is Mrs. Bluestone, the most caustic of female critics, and her friend M...

52. CHAPTER CCVIII.

VALUE OF WOMEN AMONG THE AFGHAUNS.—LIGON'S HISTORY OF BARBADOES, AND A FAVORITE STORY OF THE DOCTOR'S THEREFROM.—CLAUDE SEISSEL, AND THE SALIC LAW.—JEWISH THANKSGIVING.—ETYMOLOG...

53. BOOK V. THE PASTOR.

[Miss Sarah Hutchinson, Mrs. Wordsworth's sister, and Mrs. Warter took down the story from the old woman's lips and Southey laid it by for the Doctor, &c. She then lived in a co...

54. CHAPTER CCIX.

Certain theologians, and certain theosophists, as men who fancy themselves inspired sometimes affect to be called, had approached so nearly to the Doctor's hypothesis of progres...

55. CHAPTER CCX.

Here I shall inform the small critic, what it is, “a thousand pounds to one penny,” as the nursery song says, or as the newspaper reporters of the Ring have it, Lombard Street t...

56. CHAPTER CCXI.

_S'il y a des lecteurs qui se soucient peu de cela, on les prie de se souvenir qu'un auteur n'est pas obligé à ne rien dire que ce qui est de leur goût._

57. CHAPTER CCXII.

he would have assented to that system no farther than such preceding conformity extended. Holding it only as the result of his own speculations,—as hypothesis,—a mere fancy,—a t...

58. CHAPTER CCXIII.

and they who will read the history of the Nella-Rajah,—which whosoever reads or relates, shall (according to the author) enjoy all manner of happiness and planetary bliss,—that...

59. CHAPTER CCXIV.

There was another argument against the immortality of brutes, to which it may be, he allowed the more weight, because it was of his own excogitating. Often as he had heard of ap...

60. CHAPTER CCXV.

We will not be too peremptory herein: and build standing structures of bold assertions on so uncertain a foundation; rather with the Rechabites we will live in tents of conjectu...

61. CHAPTER CCXVI.

This is one of the many poetical passages in which the sound is better than the sense;—yet it is not without its beauty. The same similitude has been presented by Henry More in...

62. CHAPTER CCXVII.

Doña Oliva on the contrary thought that the human body might be called a tree reversed, the brain being the root, and the other the bark. She did not know what great authority t...

63. CHAPTER CCXVIII.

_Un cerchio immaginato ci bisogna, A voler ben la spera contemplare; Cosi chi intender questa storia agogna Conviensi altro per altro immaginare; Perchè qui non si canta, e fing...

64. CHAPTER CCXIX.

The extracts with which the preceding Chapter concludes, will have put thee in a thoughtful mood, Reader, if thou art one of those persons whose brains are occasionally applied...

65. CHAPTER CCXX.

According to Doña Oliva's philosophy, the quantity of water is ten times greater than that of earth, air in like manner exceeding water in a ten fold degree, and fire in the sam...

66. CHAPTER CCXXI.

The Doctor's opinion of Doña Oliva's practice was that no one would be killed by it, but that many would be allowed to die whom a more active treatment might have saved. It woul...

67. CHAPTER CCXXII.

_Magnus thesaurus latet in nominibus,_ said Strafford, then Lord Deputy Wentworth, when noticing a most unwise scheme which was supposed to proceed from Sir Abraham Dawes, he ob...

68. CHAPTER CCXXIII.

Considering the many mysteries which our Doctor discovered in the name of Dove, and not knowing but that many more may be concealed in it which will in due time be brought to li...

69. CHAPTER CCXXIV.

CHARLEMAGNE, CASIMIR THE POET, MARGARET DUCHESS OF NEWCASTLE, NOCTURNAL REMEMBRANCER.—THE DOCTOR NOT AMBITIOUS OF FAME.—THE AUTHOR IS INDUCED BY MR. FOSBROOKE AND NORRIS OF BEME...

70. CHAPTER CCXXV.

A Taylor who has no objection to wear motley, may make himself a great coat with half a yard of his own stuff, by eking it out with cabbage from every piece that comes in his way.

71. CHAPTER CCXXVI.

THE AUTHOR DIGRESSES A LITTLE, AND TAKES UP A STITCH WHICH WAS DROPPED IN THE EARLIER PART OF THIS OPUS.—NOTICES CONCERNING LITERARY AND DRAMATIC HISTORY, BUT PERTINENT TO THIS...

72. book I have never seen, nor had De Bure, nor had he been able (such is

its rarity) to procure any account of it farther than enabled him to give its title. The name of Conrad Celtes, the first German upon whom the degree of Poet Laureate was confer...

73. CHAPTER CCXXVII.

It is only when Man interferes, that the system of progression which the All Father has established throughout the living and sentient world, is interrupted, and Man, our Philos...

74. CHAPTER CCXXVIII.

RATS.—PLAN OF THE LAUREATE SOUTHEY FOR LESSENING THEIR NUMBER.—THE DOCTOR'S HUMANITY IN REFUSING TO SELL POISON TO KILL VERMIN, AFTER THE EXAMPLE OF PETER HOPKINS HIS MASTER.—PO...

75. CHAPTER CCXXIX.

Where my pen hath offended, I pray you it may be amended By discrete consideration Of your wise reformation: I have not offended, I trust, If it be sadly discust.

76. CHAPTER CCXXX.

I think it not impertinent sometimes to relate such accidents as may seem no better than mere trifles; for even by trifles are the qualities of great persons as well disclosed a...

77. CHAPTER CCXXXI.

QUESTION AS TO WHETHER BOOKS UNDER THE TERMINATION OF “ANA” HAVE BEEN SERVICEABLE OR INJURIOUS TO LITERATURE CONSIDERED IN CONNECTION WITH LUTHER'S TABLE TALK.—HISTORY OF THE EA...

78. CHAPTER CCXXXII.

No son ever regarded the memory of his father with more reverential affection than this last of the Doves. There never lived a man, he said, to whom the lines of Marcus Antonius...

79. CHAPTER CCXXXIII.

THE PETTY GERMAN PRINCES EXCELLENT PATRONS OF LITERATURE AND LEARNED MEN.—THE DUKE OF SAXE WEIMAR.—QUOTATION FROM BP. HACKET.—AN OPINION OF THE EXCELLENT MR. BOYLE.—A TENET OF T...

80. CHAPTER CCXXXIV.

OPINION OF A MODERN DIVINE UPON THE WHEREABOUT OF NEWLY DEPARTED SPIRITS.—ST. JOHN'S BURIAL, ONE RELIC ONLY OF THAT SAINT, AND WHEREFORE.—A TALE CONCERNING ABRAHAM, ADAM AND EVE.

81. CHAPTER CCXXXV.

We have got from the West Riding of Yorkshire, to the Eastern shore of the Red Sea, without the assistance of mail-coach, steam-packet, or air-balloon, the magical carpet, the w...

82. CHAPTER CCXXXVI.

CHARITY OF THE DOCTOR IN HIS OPINIONS.—MASON THE POET.—POLITICAL MEDICINE.—SIR WILLIAM TEMPLE.—CERVANTES.—STATE PHYSICIANS.—ADVANTAGE TO BE DERIVED FROM, WHETHER TO KING, CABINE...

83. CHAPTER CCXXXVII.

Yet in his serious moods the Doctor sadly confessed with that Sir George, whom the Scotch ungratefully call Bloody Mackenzie, that “as in the body natural, so likewise in the po...

84. CHAPTER CCXXXVIII.

SIMONIDES.—FUNERAL POEMS.—UNFEELING OPINION IMPUTED TO THE GREEK POET, AND EXPRESSED BY MALHERBE.—SENECA.—JEREMY TAYLOR AND THE DOCTOR ON WHAT DEATH MIGHT HAVE BEEN, AND WERE ME...

85. CHAPTER CCXXXIX.

THE DOCTOR DISSENTS FROM A PROPOSITION OF WARBURTON'S AND SHEWS IT TO BE FALLACIOUS.—HUTCHINSON'S REMARKS ON THE POWERS OF BRUTES.—LORD SHAFTESBURY QUOTED.—APOLLONIUS AND THE KI...

86. CHAPTER CCXL.

THE JESUIT GARASSE'S CENSURE OF HUARTE AND BARCLAY.—EXTRAORDINARY INVESTIGATION.—THE TENDENCY OF NATURE TO PRESERVE ITS OWN ARCHETYPAL FORMS.—THAT OF ART TO VARY THEM.—PORTRAITS...

87. CHAPTER CCXLI.

I will to satisfy and please myself, make an Utopia of mine own, a new Atlantis, a poetical commonwealth of mine own, in which I will freely domineer, build cities, make laws, s...

88. CHAPTER CCXLII.

—_Io non ci ho interresso Nessun, nè vi fui mai, ne manco chieggo Per quel ch'io ne vò dir, d'esservi messo. Vò dir, che senza passion eleggo, E non forzato, e senza pigliar par...

89. CHAPTER CCXLIII.

90. CHAPTER CCXLIV.

This is not the text to a sermon, but the beginning of a Chapter. There is no reason why a Chapter as well as a sermon, should not be thus impressively introduced: and if this C...