Category: Humour

The doctor, &c., vol. 5 (of 7)

Moreover there are many more things in the World than there are names for them; according to the saying of the Philosopher; _Nomina sunt finita, res autem infinitæ; ideo unum nomen plura significat:_ which saying is by a certain, or rather uncertain, author approved: _Multis s...

Chapters

1. CHAPTER CXXXVII.—p. 1.

2. CHAPTER CXXXVIII.—p. 6.

3. CHAPTER CXXXIX.—p. 11.

Moreover there are many more things in the World than there are names for them; according to the saying of the Philosopher; _Nomina sunt finita, res autem infinitæ; ideo unum no...

4. CHAPTER CXL.—p. 32.

_Quoiqu'il en soit, je ne tairai point cette histoire; je l'abandonne à la credulité, ou à l'incredulité des Lecteurs, ils prendront à cet égard quel parti il leur plaira. Je di...

5. CHAPTER CXLI.—p. 39.

6. CHAPTER CXLII.—p. 42.

Neither is it a thing impossible or greatly hard, even by such kind of proofs so to manifest and clear that point, that no man living shall be able to deny it, without denying s...

7. CHAPTER CXLIII.—p. 47.

_Quant à moi, je desirerois fort sçavoir bien dire, ou que j'eusse eu une bonne plume, et bien taillée à commandement, pour l'exalter et louër comme il le mérite. Toutesfois, te...

8. CHAPTER CXLIV.—p. 74.

9. CHAPTER CXLV.—p. 101.

There is a word, and it is a great word in this Book,[1] _ἐπι το αὐτο,_—_In id ipsum_, that is, to look to the thing itself, the very point, the principal matter of all; to have...

10. CHAPTER CXLVI.—p. 113.

DANIEL DOVE VERSUS SENECA AND BEN JONSON. ORLANDO AND HIS HORSE AT RONCESVALLES. MR. BURCHELL. THE PRINCE OF ORANGE. THE LORD KEEPER GUILDFORD. REV. MR. HAWTAYN. DR. THOMAS JACK...

11. CHAPTER CXLVII.—p. 124.

12. CHAPTER CXLVIII.—p. 161.

What have we to do with the times? We cannot cure 'em: Let them go on: when they are swoln with surfeits They'll burst and stink: Then all the world shall smell 'em.

13. CHAPTER CXLIX.—p. 174.

A PARLOUS QUESTION ARISING OUT OF THE FOREGOING CHAPTER. MR. IRVING AND THE UNKNOWN TONGUES. TAYLOR THE WATER POET. POSSIBLE SCHEME OF INTERPRETATION PROPOSED. OPINIONS CONCERNI...

14. CHAPTER CL.—p. 184.

15. CHAPTER CLI.—p. 188.

If thou hast read all this Book, and art never the better, yet catch this flower before thou go out of the garden, and peradventure the scent thereof will bring thee back to sme...

16. CHAPTER CLII.—p. 196.

17. CHAPTER CLIII.—p. 200.

18. CHAPTER CLIV.—p. 209.

Intellect and industry are never incompatible. There is more wisdom, and will be more benefit, in combining them than scholars like to believe, or than the common world imagine....

19. CHAPTER CLV.—p. 215.

20. CHAPTER CLVI.—p. 222.

AN ANECDOTE OF WESLEY, AND AN ARGUMENT ARISING OUT OF IT, TO SHOW THAT THE TIME EMPLOYED IN SHAVING IS NOT SO MUCH LOST TIME; AND YET THAT THE POET'S CALCULATION REMAINS OF PRAC...

21. CHAPTER CLVII.—p. 230.

22. CHAPTER CLVIII.—p. 232.

23. CHAPTER CLIX.—p. 237.

I doubt not but some will liken me to the Lover in a modern Comedy, who was combing his peruke and setting his cravat before his mistress; and being asked by her when he intende...

24. CHAPTER CLX.—p. 243.

MENTION OF ONE FOR WHOM THE GERMANS WOULD COIN A DESIGNATION WHICH MIGHT BE TRANSLATED A ONCE-READER. MANY MINDS IN THE SAME MAN. A POET'S UNREASONABLE REQUEST. THE AUTHOR OFFER...

25. CHAPTER CLXI.—p. 249.

A good razor never hurts, or scratches. Neither would good wit, were men as tractable as their chins. But instead of parting with our intellectual bristles quietly, we set them...

26. CHAPTER CLXII.—p. 254.

AMOUNT OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL'S PERSONAL SINS ACCORDING TO THE ESTIMATE OF MR. TOPLADY. THE DOCTOR'S OPINION THEREON. A BILL FOR CERTAIN CHURCH REPAIRS. A ROMISH LEGEND WHICH IS LI...

27. CHAPTER CLXIII.—p. 264.

AN OPINION OF EL VENERABLE PADRE MAESTRO FRAY LUIS DE GRANADA, AND A PASSAGE QUOTED FROM HIS WORKS, BECAUSE OF THE PECULIAR BENEFIT TO WHICH PERSONS OF A CERTAIN DENOMINATION WI...

28. CHAPTER CLXIV.—p. 267.

29. CHAPTER CLXV.—p. 274.

30. CHAPTER CLXVI.—p. 278.

31. CHAPTER CLXVII.—p. 292.

Much from my theme and friend have I digressed, But poor as I am, poor in stuff for thought, And poor in thought to make of it the best, Blame me not, Gentles, if I soon am caug...

32. CHAPTER CLXVIII.—p. 296.

33. CHAPTER CLXIX.—p. 305.

34. CHAPTER CLXX.—p. 320.

THE AUTHOR REPEATS A REMARK OF HIS DAUGHTER UPON THE PRECEDING CHAPTER; COMPLIMENTS THE LORD BROUGHAM AND VAUX UPON HIS LUNGS AND LARYNX; PHILOSOPHIZES AND QUOTES, AND QUOTES AN...

35. CHAPTER CLXXI.—p. 330.

APPLICATION OF THE LAY. CALEB D'ANVERS. IRISH LAW. ICON BASILIKE. JUNIUS. THOMAS À KEMPIS. FELIX HEMMERLEN. A NEEDLE LARGER THAN GAMMER GURTON'S AND A MUCH COARSER THREAD. THOMA...

36. CHAPTER CXXXVII.

If thou hadst Nicholas, replied the Doctor, 'twould have been a foal with longer ears, and a cross upon the shoulders. But I am heartily glad that it has happened to the Mare ra...

37. CHAPTER CXXXVIII.

After having made arrangements with the owner of the barn for the accommodation of the Mare in-the-straw, the Doctor and Nicholas pursued their way to Doncaster on foot, the lat...

38. CHAPTER CXXXIX.

Moreover there are many more things in the World than there are names for them; according to the saying of the Philosopher; _Nomina sunt finita, res autem infinitæ; ideo unum no...

39. CHAPTER CXL.

_Quoiqu'il en soit, je ne tairai point cette histoire; je l'abandonne à la credulité, ou à l'incredulité des Lecteurs, ils prendront à cet égard quel parti il leur plaira. Je di...

40. CHAPTER CXLI.

The chance of the Birmingham halfpenny was a rare one. I will not so far wrong the gentle Reader as to suppose that he will doubt the accuracy of any thing which is recorded in...

41. CHAPTER CXLII.

Neither is it a thing impossible or greatly hard, even by such kind of proofs so to manifest and clear that point, that no man living shall be able to deny it, without denying s...

42. CHAPTER CXLIII.

_Quant à moi, je desirerois fort sçavoir bien dire, ou que j'eusse eu une bonne plume, et bien taillée à commandement, pour l'exalter et louër comme il le mérite. Toutesfois, te...

43. CHAPTER CXLIV.

When I read of heroic horses in heroic books, I cannot choose but remember Nobs, and compare him with them, not in particular qualities, but in the sum total of their good point...

44. CHAPTER CXLV.

There is a word, and it is a great word in this Book,[1] _ἐπι το αὐτο,_—_In id ipsum_, that is, to look to the thing itself, the very point, the principal matter of all; to have...

45. CHAPTER CXLVI.

DANIEL DOVE VERSUS SENECA AND BEN JONSON. ORLANDO AND HIS HORSE AT RONCESVALLES. MR. BURCHELL. THE PRINCE OP ORANGE. THE LORD KEEPER GUILDFORD. REV. MR. HAWTAYN. DR. THOMAS JACK...

46. CHAPTER CXLVII.

“Consider,” says Plutarch in that precious volume of Philemon Holland's translating, which was one of the elder Daniel's treasures, and which the Doctor valued accordingly as a...

47. CHAPTER CXLVIII.

What have we to do with the times? We cannot cure 'em: Let them go on: when they are swoln with surfeits They'll burst and stink: Then all the world shall smell 'em.

48. CHAPTER CXLIX.

A PARLOUS QUESTION ARISING OUT OF THE FOREGOING CHAPTER. MR. IRVING AND THE UNKNOWN TONGUES. TAYLOR THE WATER POET. POSSIBLE SCHEME OF INTERPRETATION PROPOSED. OPINIONS CONCERNI...

49. CHAPTER CL.

You have received an answer as full and satisfactory as you could expect or desire, and yet the more than cabalistic mysteries of the word are still concealed with Eleusinean se...

50. CHAPTER CLI.

If thou hast read all this Book, and art never the better, yet catch this flower before thou go out of the garden, and peradventure the scent thereof will bring thee back to sme...

51. CHAPTER CLII.

Unwillingly, as the Reader may remember, though he cannot possibly know with how much unwillingness, I passed over fourteen years of Daniel Dove's youth, being the whole term of...

52. CHAPTER CLIII.

Oh pitiable condition of human kind! One colour is born to slavery abroad, and one sex to shavery at home!—A woman to secure her comfort and well-being in this country stands in...

53. CHAPTER CLIV.

Intellect and industry are never incompatible. There is more wisdom, and will be more benefit, in combining them than scholars like to believe, or than the common world imagine....

54. CHAPTER CLV.

But I will _test_ (as an American would say,—though let it be observed in passing that I do not _advocate_ the use of Americanisms.) I will _test_ Mr. Campbell's assertion. And...

55. CHAPTER CLVI.

AN ANECDOTE OF WESLEY, AND AN ARGUMENT ARISING OUT OF IT, TO SHOW THAT THE TIME EMPLOYED IN SHAVING IS NOT SO MUCH LOST TIME; AND YET THAT THE POET'S CALCULATION REMAINS OF PRAC...

56. CHAPTER CLVII.

But here one of those persons who acting upon the proverbial precept which bids us look before we leap, look so long that they never leap at all, offers a demurrer.

57. CHAPTER CLVIII.

Now comes the question of a youth after my own heart, so quick in his conclusions that his leap seems rather to keep pace with his look than to follow it. He will begin to-morro...

58. CHAPTER CLIX.

I doubt not but some will liken me to the Lover in a modern Comedy, who was combing his peruke and setting his cravat before his mistress; and being asked by her when he intende...

59. CHAPTER CLX.

MENTION OF ONE FOR WHOM THE GERMANS WOULD COIN A DESIGNATION WHICH MIGHT BE TRANSLATED A ONCE-READER. MANY MINDS IN THE SAME MAN. A POET'S UNREASONABLE REQUEST. THE AUTHOR OFFER...

60. CHAPTER CLXI.

A good razor never hurts, or scratches. Neither would good wit, were men as tractable as their chins. But instead of parting with our intellectual bristles quietly, we set them...

61. CHAPTER CLXII.

AMOUNT OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL'S PERSONAL SINS ACCORDING TO THE ESTIMATE OF MR. TOPLADY. THE DOCTOR'S OPINION THEREON. A BILL FOR CERTAIN CHURCH REPAIRS. A ROMISH LEGEND WHICH IS LI...

62. CHAPTER CXLIII.

AN OPINION OF EL VENERABLE PADRE MAESTRO FRAY LUIS DE GRANADA, AND A PASSAGE QUOTED FROM HIS WORKS, BECAUSE OF THE PECULIAR BENEFIT TO WHICH PERSONS OF A CERTAIN DENOMINATION WI...

63. CHAPTER CLXIV.

Aristotle was of opinion that those animals which have been tamed, or are capable of being so, are of a better nature, or higher grade, than wild ones, and that it is advantageo...

64. CHAPTER CLXV.

Great, Reader, are the mysteries of Grammarians! Dr. Johnson considered But as only a Conjunction, whereas, says Mr. Todd, it is in fact a Conjunction, Preposition, Adverb and I...

65. CHAPTER CLXVI.

When gas-lights came into general use, I entertained a hope that Whales would no longer be slaughtered for the sake of their oil. The foolishness of such a hope may be excused f...

66. CHAPTER CLXVII.

Much from my theme and friend have I digressed, But poor as I am, poor in stuff for thought, And poor in thought to make of it the best, Blame me not, Gentles, if I soon am caug...

67. CHAPTER CLXVIII.

The hardiest of Captain Scoresby's sailors would never, methinks have ventured upon a manner of catching the whale used by the Indians in Florida, which Sir Richard Hawkins says...

68. CHAPTER CLXIX.

And now it may be agreeable to the reader to be presented here with a sort of synopsis, or itinerary, whereby as in a chart he may trace what he perhaps has erroneously consider...

69. CHAPTER CLXX.

THE AUTHOR REPEATS A REMARK OF HIS DAUGHTER UPON THE PRECEDING CHAPTER; COMPLIMENTS THE LORD BROUGHAM AND VAUX UPON HIS LUNGS AND LARYNX; PHILOSOPHIZES AND QUOTES, AND QUOTES AN...

70. CHAPTER CLXXI.

Reader! I set some learning before you in the last chapter, and “however some may cry out that all endeavours at learning in a book like this, especially where it steps beyond t...