Category: Humour
Thou sleepest worse than if a mouse should be forced to take up her lodging in a cat's ear: a little infant that breeds its teeth, should it lie with thee, would cry out as if thou wert the more unquiet bedfellow.
Thou sleepest worse than if a mouse should be forced to take up her lodging in a cat's ear: a little infant that breeds its teeth, should it lie with thee, would cry out as if t...
3. CHAPTER V. A. I.—p. 10.If a dream should come in now to make you afear'd, With a windmill on his head and bells at his beard, Would you straight wear your spectacles here at your toes, And your boots...
4. CHAPTER IV. A. I.—p. 15.5. CHAPTER III. A. I.—p. 18.6. CHAPTER II. A. I.—p. 25.7. CHAPTER I. A. I.—p. 33.I here present thee with a hive of bees, laden some with wax, and some with honey. Fear not to approach! There are no Wasps, there are no Hornets here. If some wanton Bee should...
8. CHAPTER I. P. I.—p. 45.9. CHAPTER II. P. I.—p. 47.10. CHAPTER III. P. I.—p. 51.Whosoever shall address himself to write of matters of instruction, or of any other argument of importance, it behoveth that before he enter thereinto, he should resolutely dete...
11. CHAPTER IV. P. I.—p. 56.12. CHAPTER V. P. I.—p. 64._Hanc ergo scientiam blande excipiamus, hilariterque amplectamur, ut vere nostram et de nobismet ipsis tractantem; quam qui non amat, quam qui non amplectitur, nec philosophiam...
13. CHAPTER VI. P. I.—p. 72._Felix ille animi, divisque simillimus ipsis, Quem non mordaci resplendens gloria fuco Solicitat, non fastosi mala gaudia luxus, Sed tacitos sinit ire dies, et paupere cultu Exi...
14. CHAPTER VII. P. I.—p. 84.15. CHAPTER VIII. P. I.—p. 93.Though happily thou wilt say that wands be to be wrought when they are green, lest they rather break than bend when they be dry, yet know also that he that bendeth a twig becaus...
16. CHAPTER IX. P. I.—p. 106.These are my thoughts; I might have spun them out into a greater length, but I think a little plot of ground, thick sown, is better than a great field which, for the most part o...
17. CHAPTER X. P. I.—p. 113.There are of madmen as there are of tame, All humoured not alike.———Some Apish and fantastic; And though 'twould grieve a soul to see God's image So blemished and defaced, yet d...
18. CHAPTER XI. P. I.—p. 121.19. CHAPTER XII. P. I.—p. 129.For never in the long and tedious tract Of slavish grammar was I made to plod; No tyranny of Rules my patience rackt; I served no prenticehood to any Rod; But in the freedom of...
20. CHAPTER XIII. P. I.—p. 136.They say it is an ill mason that refuseth any stone; and there is no knowledge but in a skilful hand serves, either positively as it is, or else to illustrate some other knowledge.
21. CHAPTER XIV. P. I.—p. 149.22. CHAPTER XV. P. I.—p. 154.23. CHAPTER XVI. P. I.—p. 159.24. CHAPTER XVII. P. I.—p. 172.25. CHAPTER XIX. P. I.—p. 184.26. CHAPTER XX. P. I.—p. 192._L' Alchimista non travaglia a voto; Ei cerca l' oro, ei cerca l' oro, io dico Ch' ei cerca l' oro; e s' ei giungesse in porto Fora ben per se stesso e per altrui. L' oro e somm...
27. CHAPTER XXI. P. I.—p. 201._O felice colui, che intender puote Le cagion de le cose di natura, Che al piu di que' che vivon sono ignote; E sotto il piè si mette ogni paura De fati, e de la morte, ch'è si...
28. CHAPTER XXIII. P. I.—p. 213.29. CHAPTER XXIV. P. I.—p. 226.Hold thy hand! health's dear maintainer; Life perchance may burn the stronger: Having substance to maintain her She untouched may last the longer. When the Artist goes about To...
30. CHAPTER XXV. P. I.—p. 254.31. CHAPTER XXVI. P. I.—p. 258._Je ne veux dissimuler, amy Lecteur, que je n'aye bien préveu, et me tiens pour deüement adverty, que ne puis eviter la reprehension d'aucuns, et les calomnies de plusieurs, aus...
32. CHAPTER XXVII. P. I.—p. 272.Here is Domine Picklock My man of Law, sollicits all my causes, Follows my business, makes and compounds my quarrels Between my tenants and me; sows all my strifes And reaps the...
33. CHAPTER XXVIII. P. I.—p. 278.34. CHAPTER XXIX. P. I.—p. 284.There is a ripe season for every thing, and if you slip that or anticipate it, you dim the grace of the matter be it never so good. As we say by way of Proverb that an hasty bir...
35. CHAPTER XXX. P. I.—p. 289.36. CHAPTER XXXI. P. I.—p. 302.Lord, ringing changes all our bells hath marr'd; Jangled they have and jarr'd So long, they're out of tune, and out of frame; They seem not now the same. Put them in frame anew,...
37. CHAPTER XXXII. P. I.—p. 308.38. CHAPTER VII. A. I.I was in the fourth night of the story of the Doctor and his horse, and had broken it off, not like Scheherezade because it was time to get up, but because it was time to go to...
39. CHAPTER VI. A. I.Thou sleepest worse than if a mouse should be forced to take up her lodging in a cat's ear: a little infant that breeds its teeth, should it lie with thee, would cry out as if t...
40. CHAPTER V. A. I.If a dream should come in now to make you afear'd, With a windmill on his head and bells at his beard, Would you straight wear your spectacles here at your toes, And your boots...
41. CHAPTER IV. A. I.I went down to breakfast as usual overflowing with joyous thoughts. For mirth and for music the skylark is but a type of me. I warbled a few wood notes wild, and then full of th...
42. CHAPTER III. A. I.My eldest daughter had finished her Latin lessons, and my son had finished his Greek; and I was sitting at my desk, pen in hand, and in mouth at the same time, (a substitute for...
43. CHAPTER II. A. I._J'aurois tort de me plaindre des rigueurs de l'Inquisition, et des mauvais traitemens que j'ay éprouvez de la part de ses ministres, puisqu'en me fournissant la matiére de cet...
44. CHAPTER I. A. I.Who was the Inventor of Prefaces? I shall be obliged to the immortal Mr. Urban, (immortal, because like the king in law he never dies) if he will propound this question for me i...
45. CHAPTER I. P. I.The clock of St. George's had struck five. Mrs. Dove had just poured out the Doctor's seventh cup of tea. The Doctor was sitting in his arm-chair. Sir Thomas was purring upon hi...
46. CHAPTER II. P. I.Thus have I begun according to the most approved forms; not like those who begin the Trojan War from Leda's egg, or the History of Great Britain from Adam, or the Life of Genera...
47. CHAPTER III. P. I.Whosoever shall address himself to write of matters of instruction, or of any other argument of importance, it behoveth that before he enter thereinto, he should resolutely dete...
48. CHAPTER IV. P. I.Daniel, the son of Daniel Dove and of Dinah his wife, was born near Ingleton in the West Riding of Yorkshire, on Monday the twenty second of April, old style, 1723, nine minutes...
49. CHAPTER V. P. I._Hanc ergo scientiam blande excipiamus, hilariterque amplectamur, ut vere nostram et de nobismet ipsis tractantem; quam qui non amat, quam qui non amplectitur, nec philosophiam...
50. CHAPTER VI. P. I._Felix ille animi, divisque simillimus ipsis, Quem non mordaci resplendens gloria fuco Solicitat, non fastosi mala gaudia luxus, Sed tacitos sinit ire dies, et paupere cultu Exi...
51. CHAPTER VII. P. I.It is not however for man to rest in absolute contentment. He is born to hopes and aspirations as the sparks fly upward, unless he has brutified his nature and quenched the spir...
52. CHAPTER VIII. P. I.Though happily thou wilt say that wands be to be wrought when they are green, lest they rather break than bend when they be dry, yet know also that he that bendeth a twig becaus...
53. part I could have borne in the patriotic design of impeding the_Diis aliter visum_.—I am what I was to be,—what it is best for myself that I should be,—and for you, my Public, also. The rough-hewn plans of my destination have been better sh...
54. CHAPTER IX. P. I.These are my thoughts; I might have spun them out into a greater length, but I think a little plot of ground, thick sown, is better than a great field which, for the most part o...
55. CHAPTER X. P. I.There are of madmen as there are of tame, All humoured not alike.———Some Apish and fantastic; And though 'twould grieve a soul to see God's image So blemished and defaced, yet d...
56. CHAPTER XI. P. I.Reader, you have not forgotten where we are at this time: you remember I trust, that we are neither at Dan nor Beersheba; nor any where between those two celebrated places; nor...
57. CHAPTER XII. P. I.For never in the long and tedious tract Of slavish grammar was I made to plod; No tyranny of Rules my patience rackt; I served no prenticehood to any Rod; But in the freedom of...
58. CHAPTER XIII. P. I.They say it is an ill mason that refuseth any stone; and there is no knowledge but in a skilful hand serves, either positively as it is, or else to illustrate some other knowledge.
59. CHAPTER XIV. P. I.“This account of Textor's Dialogues,” says a critical Reader, “might have done very well for the Retrospective Review, or one of the Magazines, or D'Israeli's Curiosities of Lit...
60. CHAPTER XV. P. I.“What, Sir,” exclaims a Lady, who is bluer than ever one of her naked and woad-stained ancestors appeared at a public festival in full dye,—“what, Sir, do you tell us that child...
61. CHAPTER XVI. P. I.I ended that last chapter with a story, and though “I say it who should not say it,” it is a good story well applied. Of what use a story may be even in the most serious debates...
62. CHAPTER XVII. P. I.A fastidious taste is like a squeamish appetite; the one has its origin in some disease of mind, as the other has in some ailment of the stomach. Your true lover of literature i...
63. CHAPTER XVIII. P. I.If William Dove had been installed in office with cap and bells and bauble, he would have been a Professor of Pantagruelism, and might have figured in Flógel's History of such P...
64. CHAPTER XIX. P. I.“It does not signify, Miss Graveairs! you may flirt your fan, and overcloud that white forehead with a frown; but I assure you the last chapter could not be dispensed with. The...
65. CHAPTER XX. P. I._L' Alchimista non travaglia a voto; Ei cerca l' oro, ei cerca l' oro, io dico Ch' ei cerca l' oro; e s' ei giungesse in porto Fora ben per se stesso e per altrui. L' oro e somm...
66. CHAPTER XXI. P. I.That grave reply produced a short pause. It was broken by the boy, who said returning to the subject, “I have been thinking, Father, that it is not a good thing to be a Philosop...
67. CHAPTER XXII. P. I._O felice colui, che intender puote Le cagion de le cose di natura, Che al piu di que' che vivon sono ignote; E sotto it piè si mette ogni paura De fati, e de la morte, ch'è si...
68. CHAPTER XXIII. P. I.Were it not for that happy facility with which the mind in such cases commonly satisfies itself, my readers would find it not more easy to place themselves in imagination at Ing...
69. CHAPTER XXIV. P. I.Hold thy hand! health's dear maintainer; Life perchance may burn the stronger: Having substance to maintain her She untouched may last the longer. When the Artist goes about To...
70. CHAPTER XXV. P. I.I must pass over fourteen years, for were I to pursue the history of our young Daniel's boyhood and adolescence into all the ramifications which a faithful biography requires, f...
71. CHAPTER XXVI. P. I._Je ne veux dissimuler, amy Lecteur, que je n'aye bien préveu, et me tiens pour deüement adverty, que ne puis eviter la reprehension d'aucuns, et les calomnies de plusieurs, aus...
72. CHAPTER XXVII. P. I.Here is Domine Picklock My man of Law, sollicits all my causes, Follows my business, makes and compounds my quarrels Between my tenants and me; sows all my strifes And reaps the...
73. CHAPTER XXVIII.Peter Hopkins was a person who might have suffered death by the laws of Solon, if that code had been established in this country; for though he lived in the reigns of George I....
74. CHAPTER XXIX. P. I.There is a ripe season for every thing, and if you slip that or anticipate it, you dim the grace of the matter be it never so good. As we say by way of Proverb that an hasty bir...
75. CHAPTER XXX. P. I._Tra tutte quante le musiche humane, O Signor mio gentil, tra le più care Gioje del mondo, è 'l suon delle campane; Don don don don don don, che ve ne pare?_[1]
76. CHAPTER XXXI. P. I.Lord, ringing changes all our bells hath marr'd; Jangled they have and jarr'd So long, they're out of tune, and out of frame; They seem not now the same. Put them in frame anew,...
77. CHAPTER XXXII. P. I.The subject of these memoirs heard the bells of St. George's ring for the battles of Dettingen and Culloden; for Commodore Anson's return and Admiral Hawke's victory; for the co...