Chapter 81

7th. Sir W. Coventry says that he hath no more mind to be found meddling with the Navy, lest it should do it hurt as well as him. So to talk of general things: and telling him that with all these doings he, I thanked God, stood yet; he told me, Yes, but that he thought his continuing in did arise from his enemies my Lord of Buckingham and Arlington's seeing that he cared so little if he was out; and he do protest to me that he is as weary of the Treasury as ever he was of the Navy. He tells me that he do believe that their heat is over almost as to the Navy, their being now none left of the old stock but my Lord Brouncker, J. Minnes (who is ready to leave the world), and myself. But he tells me that he do foresee very great wants and great disorders by reason thereof; insomuch, as he is represented to the King by his enemies as a melancholy man, and one that is still prophecying ill events, so as the King called him Visionaire; which being told him, he said he answered the party, that, whatever he foresaw, he was not afraid as to himself of any thing, nor particularly of my Lord Arlington so much as the Duke of Buckingham hath been, nor of the Duke of Buckingham so much as my Lord Arlington at this time is. But he tells me that he hath been always looked upon as a melancholy man; whereas others that would please the King do make him believe that all is safe: and so he hath heard my Lord Chancellor openly say to the King, that he was now a glorious prince, and in a glorious condition, because of some one accident that hath happened, or some one rut that hath been removed; "when," says Sir W. Coventry "they reckoned their one good meal, without considering that there was nothing left in the cupboard for to-morrow." After this discourse to my Lord Sandwich's, and took a quarter of an hour's walk in the garden with him, which I have not done for so much time with him since his coming into England; and talking of his own condition, and particularly of the world's talk of his going to Tangier. I find if his conditions can be made profitable and safe as to money, he would go, but not else; but, however, will seem not averse to it, because of facilitating his other accounts now depending; which be finds hard to get through, but yet hath some hopes, the King, he says, speaking very kindly to him.

8th. Up, and Sir R. Cholmly betimes with me, about some accounts and monies due to him: and he gone, I to the office, where sat all the morning. And here, among other things, breaks out the storm W. Hewer and I have long expected from the Surveyor, about W. Hewer's conspiring to get a contract to the burdening of the stores with kerseys and cottons, of which he hath often complained, and lately more than ever, and now he did by a most scandalous letter to the Board reflecting on my office: and by discourse it fell to such high words between him and me as can hardly ever be forgot; I declaring I would believe W. Hewer as soon as him, and laying the fault, if there be any, upon himself; he, on the other hand, vilifying of my word and W. Hewer's, calling him knave, and that if he were his clerk he should lose his ears. At last I closed the business for this morning with making the thing ridiculous, as it is, and he swearing that the King should have right in it, or he would lose his place. The office was cleared of all but ourselves and W. Hewer; but, however, the world did by the beginning see what it meant, and it will, I believe, come to high terms between us; which I am sorry for, to have any blemish laid upon me or mine at this time, though never so unjustly, for fear of giving occasion to my real discredit: and therefore I was not only all the rest of the morning vexed, but so went home to dinner; where my wife tells me of my Lord Orrery's new play "Tryphon," [A tragedy, taken from the first book of Maccabees, and performed with great success.] at the Duke of York's house, which, however, I would see, and therefore put a bit of meat in our mouths and went thither; where, with much ado, at half-past one, we got into a blind hole in the 18d. place above stairs, where we could not hear well. The house infinite fill, but the prologue most silly, and the play, though admirable, yet no pleasure almost in it, because just the very same design, and words, and sense, and plot, as every one of his plays have, any one of which alone would be held admirable, whereas so many of the same design and fancy do but dull one another; and this, I perceive, is the sense of every body else as well as myself, who therefore showed but little pleasure in it. So home mighty hot, and my mind mightily out of order, so as I could not eat my supper, or sleep almost all night; though I spent till twelve at night with W. Hewer to consider of our business: and we find it not only most free from any blame of our side, but so horrid scandalous on the other, to make so groundless a complaint, and one so shameful to him, that it could not but let me see that there is no need of my being troubled; but such is the weakness of my nature that I could not help it, which vexes me, showing me how unable I am to live with difficulties.

10th. Up, and to the office, where busy all the morning: Middleton not there, so no words or looks of him. At noon home to dinner; and so to the office, and there all the afternoon busy. And at night W. Hewer home with me; and we think we have got matter enough to make Middleton appear a coxcomb. But it troubled me to have Sir W. Warren meet me at night going out of the office home, and tell me that Middleton do intend to complain to the Duke of York: but, upon consideration of the business, I did go to bed satisfied that it was best for me that he should; and so my trouble was over, and to bed and slept well.

11th. Up, and with W. Hewer by water to Somerset-house; and there I to my Lord Brouncker before he went forth to the Duke of York, and there told him my confidence that I should make Middleton appear a fool, and that it was, I thought, best for me to complain of the wrong he hath done; but brought it about that my Lord desired me I would forbear, and promised that he would prevent Middleton till I had given in my answer to the Board, which I desired. And so away to White Hall, and there did our usual attendance: and no word spoke before the Duke of York by Middleton at all; at which I was glad to my heart, because by this means I have time to draw up my answer to my mind. Concluded upon giving 50l. for a fine pair of black horses we saw this day se'nnight; and so set Mr. Pickering down near his house (whom I am much beholden to for his care herein, and he hath admirable skill, I perceive, in this business), and so home.

12th. I hear this day that there is fallen down a new house not quite finished in Lumberd-street, and that there have been several so, they making use of bad mortar and bricks; but no hurt yet, as God hath ordered it. This day was brought home my pair of black coach-horses, the first I ever was master of, a fine pair.

14th. This day I hear, and am glad, that the King hath prorogued the Parliament to October next; and, among other reasons, it will give me time to go to France, I hope.

15th. Up, and to the office, where sat all the morning, and the new Treasurers there; and, for my life, I cannot keep Sir J. Minnes and others of the Board from showing our weakness, to the dishonour of the Board, though I am not concerned; but it do vex me to the heart to have it before these people, that would be glad to find out all our weaknesses.

18th. To Lord Brouncker, and got him to read over my paper, who owns most absolute content in it, and the advantages I have in it, and the folly of the Surveyor. At noon home to dinner; and then to Brooke-house, and there spoke with Colonell Thomson, I by order carrying them our Contract-books, from the beginning to the end of the late war. I found him finding of errors in a ship's book, where he showed, me many; which must end in the ruin, I doubt, of the Controller, who found them not out in the pay of the ship, or the whole office. To the office, and after some other business done we fell to mine. The Surveyor began to be a little brisk at the beginning; but when I came to the point to touch him, which I had all the advantages in the world to do, he became as calm as a lamb, and owned, as the whole Board did, their satisfaction, and cried excuse: and so all made friends; and their acknowledgment put into writing and delivered into Sir J. Minnes's hand, to be kept there for the use of the board or us, when I shall call for it; they desiring it might be so, that I might not make use of it to the prejudice of the Surveyor, whom I had an advantage over by his extraordinary folly in this matter. So Middleton desiring to be friends, I forgave him; and all mighty quiet, and fell to talk of other stories, and there staid all of us till nine or ten at night (more than ever we did in our lives before together).

19th. My wife and I by Hackney to the King's playhouse, and there, the pit being full, sat in the box above, and saw "Catiline's Conspiracy," yesterday being the first day: a play of much good sense and words to read, but that do appear the worst upon the stage, I mean the least diverting, that ever I saw any, though most fine in clothes; and a fine scene of the Senate and of a fight as ever I saw in my life. We sat next to Betty Hall, that did belong to this house, and was Sir Philip Howard's mistress; a mighty pretty wench.

20th. The Duke of York in good humour did fall to tell us many fine stories of the wars in Flanders, and how the Spaniards are the best disciplined foot in the world; will refuse no extraordinary service if commanded, but scorn to be paid for it as in other countries, though at the same time they will beg in the streets: not a soldier will carry you a cloak-bag for money for the world, though he will beg a penny and will do the thing if commanded by his commander. That in the citadel of Antwerp a soldier hath not a liberty of begging till he hath served three years, They will cry out against their King and commanders and generals, none like them in the world, and yet will not hear a stranger say a word of them but they will cut his throat. That upon a time some of the commanders of their army exclaiming against their generals, and particularly the Marquis of Caranen, the Confessor of the Marquis coming by and hearing them, he stops and gravely tells them that the three great trades of the world are, the lawyers, who govern the world, the churchmen, who enjoy the world; and a sort of fellows whom they call soldiers, who make it their work to defend the world. He told us too, that Turenne being now become a Catholique, he is likely to get over the head of Colbert, their interests being contrary; the latter to promote trade and the sea (which, says the Duke of York, is that we have most cause to fear), and Turenne to employ the King and his forces by land to encrease his conquests. W. Hewer tells me to-day that he hears that the King of France hath declared in print, that he do intend this next summer to forbid his commanders to strike to us, but that both we and the Dutch shall strike to him, and that he hath made his captains swear it already that; they will observe it: which is a great thing if he do it, as I know nothing to hinder him.

21st. Went into Holborne, and there saw the woman that is to be seen with a beard. She is a little plain woman, a Dane; her name, Ursula Dyan; about forty years old; her voice like a little girl's; with a beard as much as any man I ever saw, black almost and grizly: it began to grow at about seven years old, and was shaved not above seven months ago, and is now so big as any man's almost that ever I saw; I say, bushy and thick. It was a strange sight to me, I confess, and what pleased me mightily. Thence to the Duke's playhouse, and saw "Macbeth." The King and Court there; and we sat just under them and my Lady Castlemaine, and close to a woman that comes into the pit, a kind of a loose gossip, that pretends to be like her, and is so something. And my wife, by my troth, appeared, I think, as pretty as any of them; I never thought so much before; and so did Talbot and W, Hewer, as they said, I heard, to one another. The King and Duke of York minded me, and smiled upon me, at the handsome woman near me: but it vexed me to see Moll Davis, in the box over the King's and my Lady Castlemaine, look down upon the King, and he up to her; and so did my Lady Castlemaine once, to see who it was; but when she saw Moll Davis, she looked like fire; which troubled me.

23rd. Discoursed with Sir John Bankes; who thinks this prorogation will please all but the Parliament itself, which will, if ever they meet, be vexed at Buckingham, who yet governs all. He says the Nonconformists are glad of it, and, he believes, will get the upper hand in a little time, for the King must trust to them or nobody; and he thinks the King will be forced to it. He says that Sir D. Gauden is mightily troubled at Pen's being put upon him by the Duke of York, and that he believes he will get clear of it; which, though it will trouble me to have Pen still at the office, yet I shall think D. Gauden do well in it, and what I would advise him to, because I love him. I up to my Lord Brouncker at his lodgings; and sat with him an hour on purpose to talk over the wretched state of this office at present, according to the present hands it is made up of; wherein he do fully concur with me, and that it is our part not only to prepare for defending it and ourselves against the consequences of it, but to take the best ways we can to make it known to the Duke of York; for, till Sir J. Minnes be removed, and a sufficient man brought into W. Pen's place when he is gone, it is impossible for this office to support itself.

25th. Christmas day. To dinner alone with my wife, who, poor wretch! sat undressed all day till ten at night, altering and lacing of a noble petticoat; while I by her making the boy read to me the Life of Julius Caesar, and Des Cartes' book of Musick.

27th. Lord's day. Saw the King at chapel; but staid not to hear any thing, but went to walk in the Park with W. Hewer; and there, among others, met with Sir G. Downing, and walked with him an hour talking of business, and how the late war was managed, there being nobody to take care of it: and he telling, when he was in Holland, what he offered the King to do if he might have power, and then upon the least word, perhaps of a woman, to the King, he was contradicted again, and particularly to the loss of all that we lost in Guinny. He told me that he had so good spies, that he hath had the keys taken out of De Witt's pocket when he was a- bed, and his closet opened and papers brought to him and left in his hands for an hour, and carried back and laid in the place again, and keys put into his pocket again. He says he hath always had their most private debates, that have been but between two or three of the chief of them, brought to him in an hour after, and an hour after that hath sent word thereof to the King, but nobody here regarded them. But he tells me the sad news that he is out of all expectations that ever the debts of the Navy will be paid, if the Parliament do not enable the King to do it by money; all they can hope for to do out of the King's revenue being but to keep our wheels a-going on present services, and, if they can, to cut off the growing interest: which is a sad story, and grieves me to the heart.

28th. Called up by drums and trumpets; these things and boxes having cost me much money this Christmas already, and will do more.

1668-9. JANUARY 1. Presented from Captain Beckford with a noble silver warming-pan.

4th. W. Hewer and I went and saw the great tall woman that is to be seen, who is but twenty-one years old, and I do easily stand under her arms. To White Hall, where a Committee of Tangier met; and I did receive an instance of the Duke of York's kindness to me, and the whole Committee, that they would not order any thing about the Treasury for the Corporation now in establishing, without my assent and considering whether it would be to my wrong or no. Thence up and down the house, and to the Duke of York's side, and there in the Duchesse's presence: and was mightily complimented by my Lady Peterborough in my Lord Sandwich's presence, whom she engaged to thank me for my kindness to her and her Lord. We also declared our minds together to the Duke of York about Sir John Minnes's incapacity to do any service in the office: he promised to speak to the King about it.

7th. My wife and I to the King's playhouse, and there saw "The Island Princesse," [A tragi-comedy by Beaumont and Fletcher.] the first time I ever saw it ; and it is a pretty good play, many good things being in it, and a good scene of a town on fire. We sat in an upper box, and the jade Nell came and sat in the next box; a bold merry slut, who lay laughing there upon people: and with a comrade of hers, of the Duke's house, that came in to see the play.

11th. Abroad with my wife to the King's playhouse, and there saw "The Joviall Crew;" but ill acted to what it was heretofore in Clun's time, and when Lacy could dance. Thence to the New Exchange, to buy some things; and, among others, my wife did give me my pair of gloves, which by contract she is to give me in her 30l. a-year. Here Mrs. Smith tells us of the great murder thereabouts on Saturday last, of one Captain Bumbridge, by one Symons, both of her acquaintance; and hectors that were at play, and in drink: the former is killed, and is kinsman to my Lord of Ormond, which made him speak of it with so much passion.

12th. Mr. Pierce, I asking him whither he was going, told me as a great secret that he was going to his master's mistress, Mrs. Churchill, [Arabella Churchill, sister to John Duke of Marlborough, one of the Maids of Honour to the Duchess of York. James Duke of Berwick and three other children were the fruits of this intrigue. She married subsequently Colonel Godfrey, Comptroller of the Household, and died 1730, aged 82.] with some physic; meaning, I suppose, that she is with child.

15th. To Sir W. Coventry; where with him a good while in his chamber, talking of the great factions at Court at this day, even to the sober engaging of great persons, and differences, and making the King cheap and ridiculous. It is about my Lady Harvy's being offended at Doll Common's acting of Sempronia, to imitate her; for which she got my Lord Chamberlain, her kinsman, to imprison Doll: upon which my Lady Castlemaine made the King to release her, and to order her to act it again worse than ever, the other day where the King himself was; and since it was acted again, and my Lady Harvy provided people to hiss her and fling oranges at her: but it seems the heat is come to a great height, and real troubles at Court about it. Through the Park, where I met the King and the Duke of York, and so walked with them; and I did give the Duke of York thanks for his favour to me yesterday, at the Committee of Tangier, in my absence, (where some business was brought forward which the Duke of York would not suffer to go on without my presence at the debate.) And he answered me just thus: that he ought to have a care of him that do the King's business in the manner that I do, and words of more force than that. Then down with Lord Brouncker to Sir R. Murray, into the King's little elaboratory under his closet; a pretty place; and there saw a great many chymical glasses and things, but understood none of them.

16th. Mr. Wren thinks that the Parliament is likely to meet again, the King being frighted with what the Speaker hath put him in mind of,--his promise not to prorogue, but only to adjourne them. They speak mighty freely of the folly of the King this foolish women's business of my Lady Harvy. Povy tells me that Sir W. Coventry was with the King alone an hour this day; and that my Lady Castlemaine is now in a higher command over the King than ever,--not as a mistress, for she scorns him, but as a tyrant, to command him: and says that the Duchesse of York and the Duke of York are mighty great with her, which is a great interest to my Lord Chancellor's family; and that they do agree to hinder all they can the proceedings of the Duke of Buckingham and Arlington. And so we are in the old mad condition, or rather worse than any; no man knowing what the French intend to do next summer.

17th. Spoke with my Lord Bellasses and Peterborough about the business now in dispute about my deputing a Treasurer to pay the garrison at Tangier; which I would avoid and not be accountable, and they will serve me therein. Here I met Hugh May, and he brings me to the knowledge of Sir Harry Capell, [Made K.B. at the Coronation of Charles II. and created Lord Capel 1692; died at Dublin, while Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, 1696.] a member of Parliament and brother of my Lord Essex, [Arthur Capel, created Earl of Essex 1661; found dead in the Tower 1683.] who hath a great value it seems for me, and they appoint a day to come and dine with me, and see my books and papers of the office; which I shall be glad to show them, and have opportunity to satisfy them therein. Here all the discourse is, that now the King is of opinion to have the Parliament called, notwithstanding his late resolutions for proroguing them; so unstable are his councils and those about him.