Chapter 62

27th. To the office, where I hear that Sir John Coventry [Nephew to Sir William and Henry Coventry; created K.B. at Charles II.'s coronation, and M.P. for Weymouth in several Parliaments. The outrage committed on his person by Sir Thomas Sandys, O'Bryan, and others, who cut his nose to the bone, gave rise to the passing a Bill still known by the name of "THE COVENTRY ACT."] is come over from Bredagh, (a nephew, I think, of Sir W. Coventry's); but what message he brings I know not. This morning news is come that Sir Jos. Jordan is come from Harwich, with sixteen fire-ships and four other little ships of war; and did attempt to do some execution upon the enemy, but did, it without discretion, as most do say, so as they have been able to do no good, but have lost four of their fire-ships. They attempted this, it seems, when the wind was too strong, that our grapplings could not hold: others say we came to leeward of them, but all condemn it as a foolish management. They are come to Sir Edward Spragg about Lee, and the Dutch are below at the Nore. At the office all the morning: and at noon to the 'Change, where I met Fenn. And he tells me that Sir John Coventry do bring the confirmation of the peace; but I do not find the 'Change at all glad of it, but rather the worse, they looking upon it as a peace made only to preserve the King for a time in his lusts and ease, and to sacrifice trade and his kingdoms only to his own pleasures; so that the hearts of merchants are quite down. He tells me that the King and my Lady Castlemaine are quite broke off, and she is gone away, and is with child, and swears the King shall own it; and she will have it christened in the Chapel at White Hall so, and owned for the King's, as other Kings have done; or she will bring it into White Hall gallery, and dash the brains of it out before the King's face. He tells me that the King and Court were never in the world so bad as they are now for gaming, swearing, women, and drinking, and the most abominable vices that ever were in the world; so that all must come to nought. He told me that Sir G. Carteret was at this end of the town: so I went to visit; him in Broad-street. And there he and I together: and he is mightily pleased with my Lady Jem's having a son; and a mighty glad man he is. He tells me, as to news, that; the peace is now confirmed, and all that over. He says it was a very unhappy motion in the House the other day about the land-army; for whether the King hath a mind of his own to do the thing desired, or no, his doing it will be looked upon as a thing done only in fear of the Parliament. He says that the Duke of York is suspected to be the great man that is for raising this army, and bringing things to be commanded by an army; but that he do know that he is wronged therein. He do say that the Court is in a way to ruin all for their pleasures; and says that he himself hath once taken the liberty to tell the King the necessity of having at least a show of religion in the Government, and sobriety; and that it was that that did set up and keep up Oliver, though he was the greatest rogue in the world. He tells me the King adheres to no man, but this day delivers himself up to this and the next to that, to the ruin of himself and business: that he is at the command of any woman like a slave, though he be the best man to the Queene in the world, with so much respect, and never lies a night from her; but yet cannot command himself in the presence of a woman he likes. It raining this day all day to our great joy, it having not rained, I think, this month before, so as the ground was every where so burned and dry as could be; and no travelling in the road or streets in London, for dust.

28th. All the morning close to draw up a letter to Sir W. Coventry upon the tidings of peace, taking occasion (before I am forced to it) to resign up to his Royall Highness my place of the Victualling, and to recommend myself to him by promise of doing my utmost to improve this peace in the best manner we may, to save the kingdom from ruin.

29th. Up, and with Sir W. Batten to St. James's, to Sir W. Coventry's chamber; where, among other things, he came to me and told me that he had received my yesterday's letters, and that we concurred very well in our notions; and that as to my place which I had offered to resign of the Victualling, he had drawn up a letter at the same time for the Duke of York's signing for the like places in general raised during this war; and that he had done me right to the Duke of York, to let him know that I had of my own accord offered to resign mine. The letter do bid us to do all things, particularizing several, for the laying up of the ships and easing the King of charge; so that the war is now professedly over. By and by up to the Duke of York's chamber; and there all the talk was about Jordan's coming with so much indiscretion, with his four little frigates and sixteen fire- ships from Harwich, to annoy the enemy. His failures were of several sorts, I know not which the truest: that he came with so strong a gale of wind that his grapplings would not hold; that he did come by their lee, whereas if he had come athwart their hawse, they would have held; that they did not stop a tide, and ebb up with a windward tide, and then they would have come so fast. Now there happened to be Captain Jenifer by, who commanded the Lily in this business, and thus says: that finding the Dutch not so many as they expected, they did not know that there were more of them above, and so were not so earnest to the setting upon these; that they did do what they could to make the fire- ships fall in among the enemy; and for their lives Sir J. Jordan nor others could, by shooting several times at them, make them go in: and it seems they were commanded by some idle fellows, such as they could of a sudden gather up at Harwich; which is a sad consideration, that at such a time as this, where the saving the reputation of the whole nation lay at stake, and after so long a war, the King had not credit to gather a few able men to command these vessels. He says, that if they had come up slower, the enemy would (with their boats and their great sloops, which they have to row with a great many men,) and did come and cut up several of our fire-ships, and would certainly have taken most of them, for they do come with a great provision of these boats on purpose, and to save their men, which is bravely done of them, though they did on this very occasion show great fear, as they say, by some men leaping overboard out of a great ship (as these were all of them of sixty and seventy guns a-piece) which one of our fire-ships laid on board, though the fire did not take. But yet it is brave to see what care they do take to encourage their men to provide great stores of boats to save them, while we have not credit to find one boat for a ship. And further, he told us that this new way used by Deane (and this Sir W. Coventry observed several times) of preparing of fire-ships do not do the work; for the fire not being strong and quick enough to flame up, so as to take the rigging and sails, lies smothering a great while, half an hour before it flames, in which time they can get the fire-ship off safely, though (which is uncertain, and did fail in one or two this bout) it do serve to burn our own ships. But what a shame it is to consider how two of our ships' companies did desert their ships for fear of being taken by their boats, our little frigates being forced to leave them, being chased by their greater! And one more company did set their ship on fire, and leave her; which afterwards a Feversham fisherman came up to, and put out the fire, and carried safe into Feversham, where she now is. Which was observed by the Duke of York, and all the company with him, that it was only want of courage, and a general dismay and abjectness of spirit upon all our men; and others did observe our ill management, and God Almighty's curse upon all that we have in hand, for never such an opportunity was of destroying so many good ships of theirs as we now had. But to see how negligent we were in this business, that our fleet of Jordan's should not have any notice where: Spragg was, nor Spragg of Jordan's so as to be able to meet and join in the business, and help one another; but Jordan, when he saw Spragg's fleet above, did think them to be another part of the enemy's fleet! while, on the other side, notwithstanding our people at Court made such a secret of Jordan's design that nobody must know it, and even this office itself must not know it; nor for my part; I did not, though Sir W. Batten says by others' discourse to him he had heard something of it; yet De Ruyter (or he that commanded this fleet) had notice of it, and told it to a fisherman of ours that he took and released on Thursday last, which was the day before our fleet came to him. But then, that that seems most to our disgrace, and which the Duke of York did take special and vehement notice of, is, that when the Dutch saw so many fire-ships provided for them, themselves lying, I think, about the Nore, they did with all their great ships, with a North-east wind, (as I take it they said, but whatever it was, it was a wind that we should not have done it with,) turn down to the Middle-ground; which, the Duke of York observed, never was nor would have been undertaken by ourselves. And whereas some of the company answered, it was their great fear, not their choice, that made them do it, the Duke of York answered, that it was, it maybe, their fear and wisdom that made them do it; but yet their fear did not make them mistake, as we should have done, when we have had no fear upon us, and have run our ships on ground. And this brought it into my mind, that they managed their retreat down this difficult passage, with all their fear, better than we could do ourselves in the main sea, when the Duke of Albemarle ran away from the Dutch, when the Prince was lost, and the Royal Charles and the other great ships came on ground upon the Galloper. Thus in all things, in wisdom, courage, force, knowledge of our own streams, and success, the Dutch have the best of us, and do end the war with victory on their side. One thing extraordinary was this day: a man, a Quaker, came naked through the Hall, only very civilly tied about the loins to avoid scandal, and with a chafing-dish of fire and brimstone burning upon his head, did pass through the Hall, crying "Repent! repent!" Presently comes down the House of Commons, the King having made a very short and no pleasing speech to them at all, not at all giving them thanks for their readiness to come up to town at this busy time; but told them that he did think he should have had occasion for them, but had none, and therefore did dismiss them to look after their own occasions till October; and that he did wonder any should offer to bring in a suspicion that he intended to rule by an army, or otherwise than by the laws of the land, which he promised them he would do; and so bade them go home and settle the minds of the country in that particular; and only added, that; he had made a peace which be did believe they would find reasonable, and a good peace, but did give them none of the particulars thereof. Thus they are dismissed again to their general great distaste, I believe the greatest that ever Parliament was, to see themselves so fooled, and the nation in certain condition of ruin, while the King, they see, is only governed by his lust, and women, and rogues about him. The Speaker, they found, was kept from coming in the morning to the House on purpose till after the King was come to the House of Lords, for fear they should be doing any thing in the House of Commons to the further dissatisfaction of the King and his courtiers. They do all give up the kingdom for lost, that I speak to; and do hear what the King says, how he and the Duke of York do do what they can to get up an army, that they may need no more Parliaments: and how my Lady Castlemaine hath, before the last breach between her and the King, said to the King, that he must rule by an army, or all would be lost. I am told that many petitions were provided for the Parliament, complaining of the wrongs they have received from the Court and courtiers, in city and country, if the Parliament had but sat: and I do perceive they all do resolve to have a good account of the money spent before ever they give a farthing more; and the whole kingdom is every where sensible of their being abused, insomuch that they forced their Parliament-men to come up to sit; and my cozen Roger told me that (but that was in mirth) he believed, if he had not come up he should have had his house burned. The kingdom never in so troubled a condition in this world as now; nobody pleased with the peace, and yet nobody daring to wish for the continuance of the war, it being plain that nothing do nor can thrive under us. Here I saw old good Mr. Vaughan, and several of the great men of the Commons, and some of them old men, that are come 200 miles and more to attend this session of Parliament; and have been at great charge and disappointments in their other private business; and now all to no purpose, neither to serve their country, content themselves, nor receive any thanks from the King. It is verily expected by many of them that the King will continue the prorogation in October, so as, if it be possible, never to have this Parliament more. My Lord Bristoll took his place in the House of Lords this day, but not in his robes; and when the King came in he withdrew: but my Lord of Buckingham was there as brisk as ever, and sat in his robes; which is a monstrous thing, that a man should be proclaimed against, and put in the Tower, and released without any trial, and yet not restored to his places. But above all, I saw my Lord Mordaunt [Vide note Nov. 26, 1666.] as merry as the best, that it seems hath done such further indignities to Mr. Taylor since the last sitting of Parliament as would hang him, if there were nothing else, would the King do what were fit for him; but nothing of that is now likely to be. Cozen Roger and Creed to dinner with me, and very merry: but among other things they told me of the strange, bold sermon of Dr. Creeton [Probably Robert Creyghton of Trin. Col. Cambridge, A.M. 1662. Ling. Graec. Prof. Reg. 1672-3.] yesterday before the King; how he preached against the sins of the Court, and particularly against adultery, over and over instancing how for that single sin in David the whole nation was undone; and of our negligence in having our castles without ammunition and powder when the Dutch came upon us; and how we have no courage now-a-days, but let our ships be taken out of our harbour. Here Creed did tell us the story of the duell last night, in Covent-garden, between Sir H. Bellasses and Tom Porter. It is worth remembering the silliness of the quarrel, and is a kind of emblem of the general complexion of this whole kingdom at present. They two dined yesterday at Sir Robert Carr's [M.P. Knight and Baronet, of Sleaford, Lincolnshire, and one of the proposed knights of the Royal Oak for that county.] where it seems people do drink high, all that come. It happened that these two, the greatest friends in the world, were talking together: and Sir H. Bellasses talked a little louder than ordinary to Tom Porter, giving of him some advice. Some of the company standing by said, "What! are they quarrelling, that they talk so high?" Sir H. Bellasses hearing it, said, "No!" says he: "I would have you know I never quarrel, but I strike; and take that as a rule of mine!" "How?" says Tom Porter, "strike! I would I could see the man in England that durst give me a blow!" with that Sir H. Bellasses did give him a box of the ears; and so they were going to fight there, but were hindered. And by and by Tom Porter went out, and meeting Dryden the poet, told him of the business, and that he was resolved to fight Sir H. Bellasses presently; for he knew, if he did not, they should be friends to-morrow, and then the blow would rest upon him; which he would prevent, and desired Dryden to let him have his boy to bring him notice which way Sir H. Bellasses goes. By and by he is informed that Sir H. Bellasses's coach was coming: so Tom Porter went down out of the Coffee-house where he stayed for the tidings, and stopped the coach, and bade Sir H. Bellasses come out. "Why," says H. Bellasses, "you will not hurt me coming out-will you?" "No," says Tom Porter, So out he went, and both drew: and H. Bellasses having drawn and flung away his scabbard, Tom Porter asked him whether he was ready? The other answering him he was, they fell to fight, some of their acquaintance by. They wounded one another, and H. Bellasses so much that it is feared he will die: and finding himself severely wounded, he called to Tom Porter, and kissed him and bade him shift for himself; "for," says he, "Tom, thou hast hurt me; but I will make shift to stand upon my legs till thou mayest withdraw, and the world not take notice of you, for I would not have thee troubled for what thou hast done." And so whether he did fly or no I cannot tell; but Tom Porter showed H. Bellasses that he was wounded too: and they are both ill, but H. Bellasses to fear of life. And this is a fine example; and H. Bellasses a Parliament-man too, and both of them extraordinary friends! Among other discourse my cosen Roger told us a thing certain, that my Lady Castlemaine hath made a Bishop lately, namely, her uncle Dr. Glenham, [Henry Glenham, D.D., was Dean of Bristol, 1661; but, I believe, never raised to the Bench.] who, I think they say, is Bishop of Carlisle; a drunken, swearing rascal, and a scandal to the Church; and do now pretend to be Bishop of Lincoln, in competition with Dr. Raynbow, [Dr. Rainbow was Bishop of Carlisle from 1664 to 1684.] who is reckoned as worthy a man as most in the Church for piety and learning: which are things so scandalous to consider, that no man can doubt but we must be undone that hears of them. Cosen Roger did acquaint me in private with an offer made of his marrying of Mrs. Elizabeth Wiles, whom I know; a kinswoman of Mr. Honiwood's, an ugly old maid, but good housewife, and is said to have 2500l. to her portion; though I am against it in my heart, she being not handsome at all: and it hath been the very bad fortune of the Pepyses that ever I knew, never to marry an handsome woman, excepting Ned Pepys. To White Hall; and looking out of the window into the garden, I saw the King (whom I have not had any desire to see since the Dutch came upon the coast first to Sheerness, for shame that; I should see him, or he me, methinks, after such a dishonour) come upon the garden; with him two or three idle Lords; and instantly after him, in another walk, my Lady Castlemaine, led by Bab. May: at which I was surprised, having but newly heard the stories of the King and her being parted for ever. So I took Mr. Povy, who was there, aside, and he told me all,--how imperious this woman is, and hectors the King to whatever she will. It seems she is with child, and the King says he did not get it: with that she made a slighting puh with her mouth, and went out of the house, and never came in again till the King went to Sir Daniel Harvy's to pray her; and so she is come to-day, when one would think his mind should be full of some other cares, having but this morning broken up such a Parliament with so much discontent and so many wants upon him, and but yesterday heard such a sermon against adultery. But it seems she hath told the King, that whoever did get it, he should own it. And the bottom of the quarrel is this:--She is fallen in love with young Jermin, who hath of late been with her oftener than the King, and is now going to marry my Lady Falmouth; [Lady Falmouth married the Earl of Dorset.] the King is mad at her entertaining Jermin, and she is mad at Jermin's going to marry from her: so they are all mad; and thus the kingdom is governed! But he tells me for certain that nothing is more sure than that the King, and Duke of York, and the Chancellor, are desirous and labouring all they can to get an army, whatever the King says to the Parliament; and he believes that they are at last resolved to stand and fall all three together: so that he says in terms that the match of the Duke of York with the Chancellor's daughter hath undone the nation. He tells me also that the King hath not greater enemies in the world than those of his own family; for there is not an officer in the house almost but curses him for letting them starve, and there is not a farthing of money to be raised for the buying them bread.

30th. To the Treasury-chamber, where I did speak with the Lords. Here I do hear that there are three Lords more to be added to them; my Lord Bridgewater, my Lord Anglesy, and my Lord Chamberlaine. Mr. Cooling told as how the King, once speaking of the Duke of York's being mastered by his wife, said to some of the company by, that he would go no more abroad with this Tom Otter (meaning the Duke of York) and his wife. [Vide the play of "Epicene, or the Silent Woman," in which Mrs. Otter thus addresses her henpecked husband, THOMAS OTTER--"Is this according to the instrument when I married you, that I would be princess and reign in my own house, and you would be my subject, and obey me?"--ACT iii., SCENE 1.] Tom Killigrew being by, said, "Sir, pray which is the best for a man, to be a Tom Otter to his wife or to his mistress? meaning the King's being so to my Lady Castlemaine.

31st. To Marrowbone, where my Lord Mayor and Aldermen, it seems, dined to-day; and were just now going away, methought, in a disconsolate condition, compared with their splendour they formerly had when the City was standing.

AUGUST 1, 1667. Home, the gates of the City shut, it being so late; and at Newgate we find them in trouble, some thieves having this night broke open prison.

3rd. To the office, there to enable myself, by finishing our great account, to give it to the Lords Commissioners of the Treasury; which I did, and there was called in to them, to tell them only the total of our debt of the Navy on the 25th of May last, which is above 950,000l. Here I find them mighty hot in their answer to the Council-board about our Treasurer's threepences of the Victualling, and also against the present farm of the Customes, which they do most highly inveigh against.

5th. I hear the ill news of our loss lately of four rich ships, two from Guinea, one from Gallipoly, all with rich oyles, and the other from Barbadoes, worth, as is guessed, 80,000l. But here is strong talk as if Harman had taken some of the Dutch East India ships, (but I dare not yet believe it,) and brought them into Lisbon. To the Duke of York's house, and there saw "Love Trickes, or the School of Compliments;" [A comedy, by James Shirley.] a silly play, only Miss Davis, dancing in a shepherd's clothes, did please us mightily.

6th. A full Board. Here, talking of news, my Lord Anglesy did tell us that the Dutch do make a further bogle with us about two or three things, which they will be satisfied in, he says, by us easily, but only in one, it seems, they do demand that we shall not interrupt their East Indiamen coming home, and of which they are in some fear; and we are full of hopes that we have light upon some of them and carried them into Lisbon by Harman; which God send! But they (which do show the low esteem they have of us) have the confidence to demand that we shall have a cessation on our parts, and yet they at liberty to take what they will; which is such an affront, as another cannot be devised greater.