Reference

The Devil's Dictionary

_The Devil's Dictionary_ was begun in a weekly paper in 1881, and was continued in a desultory way at long intervals until 1906. In that year a large part of it was published in covers with the title _The Cynic's Word Book_, a name which the author had not the power to reject...

Chapters

3. Chapter 3

CUPID, n. The so-called god of love. This bastard creation of a barbarous fancy was no doubt inflicted upon mythology for the sins of its deities. Of all unbeautiful and inappro...

10. Chapter 10

It is sayd there be a raunge of mountaynes in the Easte, on one syde of the which certayn conducts are immorall, yet on the other syde they are holden in good esteeme; wherebye...

9. Chapter 9

Miss Sallie Ann Splurge, of her own accord, Wedded a wandering English lord-- Wedded and took him to dwell with her "paw," A parent who throve by the practice of Draw. Lord Cadd...

1. Chapter 1

_The Devil's Dictionary_ was begun in a weekly paper in 1881, and was continued in a desultory way at long intervals until 1906. In that year a large part of it was published in...

15. Chapter 15

TOPE, v. To tipple, booze, swill, soak, guzzle, lush, bib, or swig. In the individual, toping is regarded with disesteem, but toping nations are in the forefront of civilization...

14. Chapter 14

The wheels go round without a sound-- The maidens hold high revel; In sinful mood, insanely gay, True spinsters spin adown the way From duty to the devil! They laugh, they sing,...

5. Chapter 5

FREEMASONS, n. An order with secret rites, grotesque ceremonies and fantastic costumes, which, originating in the reign of Charles II, among working artisans of London, has been...

13. Chapter 13

ROUNDHEAD, n. A member of the Parliamentarian party in the English civil war--so called from his habit of wearing his hair short, whereas his enemy, the Cavalier, wore his long....

2. Chapter 2

BEHAVIOR, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding. The word seems to be somewhat loosely used in Dr. Jamrach Holobom's translation of the following lines fr...

11. Chapter 11

The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the l...

4. Chapter 4

ENTHUSIASM, n. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience. Byron, who recovered long enough to call it "ent...

12. Chapter 12

RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor...

6. Chapter 6

In ancient times there lived a king Whose tax-collectors could not wring From all his subjects gold enough To make the royal way less rough. For pleasure's highway, like the dam...

8. Chapter 8

K is a consonant that we get from the Greeks, but it can be traced away back beyond them to the Cerathians, a small commercial nation inhabiting the peninsula of Smero. In their...

7. Chapter 7

A Roman slave appeared one day Before the Augur. "Tell me, pray, If--" here the Augur, smiling, made A checking gesture and displayed His open palm, which plainly itched, For vi...

16. Chapter 16

Time to the dead so all unreckoned flies That when your marble is all dust, arise, If wakened, stretch your limbs and yawn-- You'll think you scarcely can have closed your eyes.