Chapter 2

“Darling, hush! You must not say such things to me. For you only to look at me like that is the most terrible temptation of my life. You make me forget everything a man is bound--that I of all men am bound to remember.”

“Then I will keep on looking! Behold, I am Happiness, Selfishness, if you like! I have come to stay. No, really, it's not nice of you to act as if you were under higher orders. You are under my orders. What right have we to choose each other if we are not to be better to each other than to any one else?--if our lives belong to any one who needs us, or our time and money, more than we need it ourselves? Why did you choose me? Why not somebody pathetic--one of your Poor Things; or else save yourself whole for all the Poor Things?”

“Now you are 'talking for victory,'” he smiled. “You don't believe we must be as consistent as all that. Hearts don't have to be coddled like pears picked for market. But I'm not preaching to you. The heavens forbid! I'm trying to explain. You don't think this whole thing with me is a pose? I know I'm a bore with my convictions; but how do we come by such things?”

“Ah! How do I come not to have any, or to want any?” she rejoined.

“Once for all, let me tell you how I came by mine. Then you will know just where and how those cries for help take hold on me.”

“I don't wish to know. Preserve me from knowing! Why didn't you choose somebody different?”

He looked at her with all his passion in his eyes. “I did not choose. Did you?”

“It isn't too late,” she whispered. Her face grew hot in the darkness.

“Yes; it is too late--for anything but the truth. Will you listen, sweet? Will you let the nonsense wait?”

“Deeper and deeper! Haven't we reached the bottom yet?”

“Go on! It's the dearest nonsense,” she heard him say; but she detected pain in his voice and a new constraint.

“What is it? What is the 'truth'?”

“Oh, it's not so dreadful. Only, you always put me in quite a different class from where I belong, and I haven't had the courage to set you right.”

“Children, children!” a young voice called, from the lighted walk above. Two figures were going down the line, one in uniform keeping step beside a girl in white who reefed back her skirts with one hand, the other was raised to her hair which was blowing across her forehead in bewitching disorder. Every gesture and turn of her shape announced that she was pretty and gay in the knowledge of her power. It was Chrissy, walking with Lieutenant Lane.

“Where are you--ridiculous ones? Don't you want to come with us?”

“'Now who were they?'” Paul quoted derisively out of the dark.

“We are going to Captain Dawson's to play Hearts. Come! Don't be stupid!”

“We are not stupid, we are busy!” Moya called back.

“Busy! Doing what?”

“Oh, deciding things. We are talking about the Poor Man.”

“The poor men, she means.” Christine's high laugh followed the lieutenant's speech, as the pair went on.

“He _is_ a bore!” Moya declared. “We can't even use him for a joke.”

“Speaking of Lane, dear?”

“The Poor Man. Are you sure that you've got a sense of humor, Paul? Can't we have charity for jokes among the other poor things?”

Paul had raised himself to the step beside her. “You are shivering,” he said, “I must let you go in.”

“I'm not shivering--I'm chattering,” she mocked. “Why should I go in when we are going to be really serious?”

Paul waited a moment; his breath came short, as if he were facing a postponed dread. “Moya, dear,” he began in a forced tone, “I can't help my constraints and convictions that bore you so, any more than you can help your light heart--God bless it--and your theory of class which to me seems mediaeval. I have cringed to it, like the coward a man is when he is in love. But now I want you to know me.”

He took her hand and kissed it repeatedly, as if impressing upon her the one important fact back of all hypothesis and perilous efforts at statement.

“Well, are you bidding me good-by?”

“You must give me time,” he said. “It takes courage in these days for a good American to tell the girl he loves that his father was a hired man.”

He smiled, but there was little mirth and less color in his face.

“What absurdity!” cried Moya. Then glancing at him she added quickly, “_My_ father is a hired man. Most fathers who are worth anything are!”

“My father was because he came of that class. His father was one before him. His mother took in tailoring in the village where he was born. He had only the commonest common-school education and not much of that. At eleven he worked for his board and clothes at my Grandfather Van Elten's, and from that time he earned his bread with his hands. Don't imagine that I'm apologizing,” Paul went on rapidly. “The apology belongs on the other side. In New York, for instance, the Bogardus blood is quite as good as the Bevier or the Broderick or the Van Elten; but up the Hudson, owing to those chances or mischances that selected our farming aristocracy for us, my father's people had slipped out of their holdings and sunk to the poor artisan class which the old Dutch landowners held in contempt.”

“We are not landowners,” said Moya. “What does it matter? What does any of it matter?”

“It matters to be honest and not sail under false colors. I thought you would not speak of the Poor Man as you do if you knew that I am his son.”

“Money has nothing to do with position in the army. I am a poor man's daughter.”

“Ah, child! Your father gives orders--mine took them, all his life.”

“My father has to take what he gives. There is no escaping 'orders.' Even I know that!” said Moya. A slight shiver passed over her as she spoke, laughing off as usual the touch of seriousness in her words.

“Why did you do that?” Paul touched her shoulder. “Is it the wind? There is a wind creeping down these steps.” He improved the formation slightly in respect to the wind.

“Listen!” said Moya. “Isn't that your mother walking on the porch? Father, I know, is writing. She will be lonely.”

“She is never lonely, more or less. It is always the same loneliness--of a woman widowed for years.”

“How very much she must have cared for him!” Moya sighed incredulously. What a pity, she thought, that among the humbler vocations Paul's father should have been just a plain “hired man.” Cowboy, miner, man-o'-war's man, even enlisted man, though that were bad enough--any of these he might have been in an accidental way, that at least would have been picturesque; but it is only the possession of land, by whatsoever means or title, that can dignify an habitual personal contact with it in the form of soil. That is one of the accepted prejudices which one does not meddle with at nineteen. “Youth is conservative because it is afraid.” Moya, for all her fighting blood, was traditionally and in social ways much more in bonds than Paul, who had inherited his father's dreamy speculative habit of thought, with something of the farm-hand's distrust of society and its forms and shibboleth.

Paul's voice took a narrative tone, and Moya gave herself up to listening--to him rather more, perhaps, than to his story.

Few young men of twenty-four can go very deeply into questions of heredity. Of what follows here much was not known to Paul. Much that he did know he would have interpreted differently. The old well at Stone Ridge, for instance, had no place in his recital; and yet out of it sprang the history of his shorn generation. Had Paul's mother grown up in a houseful of brothers and sisters, governed by her mother instead of an old ignorant servant, in all likelihood she would have married differently--more wisely but not perhaps so well, her son would loyally have maintained. The sons of the rich farmers who would have been her suitors were men inferior to their fathers. They inherited the vigor and coarseness of constitution, the unabashed materialism of that earlier generation that spent its energies coping with Nature on its stony farms, but the sons were spared the need of that hard labor which their blood required. They supplied an element of force, but one of great corruption later, in the state politics of their time.

IV

A MAN THAT HAD A WELL IN HIS OWN COURT

In the kitchen court called the “Airy” at Abraham Van Elten's, there was one of those old family wells which our ancestors used to locate so artlessly. And when it tapped the kitchen drain, and typhoid took the elder children, and the mother followed the children, it was called the will of God. A gloomy distinction rested on the house. Abraham felt the importance attaching to any supreme experience in a community where life runs on in the middle key.

A young doctor who had been called in at the close of the last case went prying about the premises, asking foolish questions that angered Abraham. It is easier for some natures to suffer than to change. If the farmer had ever drunk water himself, except as tea or coffee, or mixed with something stronger, he must have been an early victim, to his own crass ignorance. He was a vigorous, heavy-set man, a grand field for typhoid. But he prospered, and the young doctor was turned down with the full weight and breadth of the Van Elten thumb, or the Broderick; Abraham's build was that of his maternal grandmother, Hillotje Broderick.

On the Ridge, which later developed into a valuable slate quarry, there was a spring of water, cold and perpetual, flowing out of the trap-formation. Abraham had piped this water down to his barns and cattle-sheds; it furnished power for the farm-work. But to bring it to the house, in obedience to the doctor's meddlesome advice, would be an acknowledgment of fatal mistakes in the past; would raise talk and blame among the neighbors, and do away with the honor of a special visitation; would cost no trifle of money; would justify the doctor's interference, and insult the old well of his father and his father's father, the fountain of generations. To seal its mouth and bid its usefulness cease in the house where it had ministered for upwards of a hundred years was an act of desecration impossible to the man who in his stolid way loved the very stones that lined its slimy sides. The few sentiments that had taken hold on Abraham's arid nature went as deep as his obstinacy and clung as fast as his distrust of new opinions and new men. The question of water supply was closed in his house; but the well remained open and kept up its illicit connection with the drain.

Old Becky, keeper of the widower's keys, had followed closely the history of those unhappy “cases;” she had listened to discussions, violent or suppressed, she had heard much talk that went on behind her master's back.

Employers of that day and generation were masters; and masters are meant to be outwitted. Emily, the youngest and last of the flock, was now a child of four, dark like her mother, sturdy and strong like her father. On an August day soon after the mother's funeral, Becky took her little charge to the well and showed her a tumbler filled, with water not freshly drawn.

“See them little specks and squirmy things?” Emmy saw them. She followed their wavering motion in the glass as the stern forefinger pointed. “Those are little baby snakes,” said Becky mysteriously. “The well is full of 'em. Sometimes you can see 'em, sometimes you can't, but they're always there. They never grow big down the well; it's too dark 'n' cold. But you drink that water and the snakes will grow and wriggle and work all through ye, and eat your insides out, and you'll die. Your mother”--in a whisper--“she drunk that water, and she died. Your sister Ruth, and Dirck, and Jimmy, they drunk it, and they died. Now if Emmy wants to die”--Large eyes of horror fastened on the speaker's face. “No--o, she don't want to die, the Loveums! She don't want Becky to have no little girl left at all! No; we mustn't ever drink any of that bad water--all full of snakes, ugh! But if Emmy's thirsty, see here! Here's good nice water. It's going to be always here in this pail--same water the little lambs drink up in the fields. Becky 'll take Emmy up on the hill sometime and show where the little lambs drink.”

Grief had not clouded the farmer's oversight in petty things. He noticed the innocent pail on the area bench, never empty, always specklessly clean.

“What is this water?” he asked.

Becky was surly. “Drinking water. Want some?”

“What's it doing here all the time?”

“I set it there for Emmy. She can't reach up to the bucket.”

Abraham tasted the water suspiciously. The well-water was hard, with a tang of iron. The spring soft, and less cold for its journey to the barn.

“Where did you get this water?”

“Help yourself. There's plenty more.”

“Becky, where did this water come from? Out o' the well?”

Becky gave a snort of exasperation. “Sam Lewis brought it from the barn! I'm too lame to be histin' buckets. I've got the rheumatiz' awful in my back and shoulders, if ye want to know!”

“Becky, you're lying to me. You've been listening to what don't concern you. Now, see here. You are not going to ask the men to carry water for you. They've got something else to do. _There's_ your water, as handy as ever a woman had it; use that or go without.”

Abraham caught up the pail and flung its contents out upon the grass, scattering the hens that came sidling back with squawks of inquiring temerity.

When next Emmy came for water, the old woman took her by the hand in silence and led her into the dim meat-cellar, a half-basement with one low window level with the grass. There was the pail, safe hidden behind the soft-soap barrel.

“I had to hide it from your pa,” Becky whispered. “Don't you never let him know you're afraid o' the well-water. He drunk it when he was a little boy. He don't believe in the snakes. But _there wa'n't none then_. It's when water gets old and rotten. You can believe what Becky says. _She_ knows! But you mustn't ever tell. Your father 'd be as mad as fire if he knowed I said anything about snakes. He'd send me right away, and some strange woman would come, and maybe she'd whip Emmy. Emmy want Becky to go?” Sobs, and little arms clinging wildly to Becky's aproned skirts. “No, no! Well, she ain't goin'. But Emmy mustn't tell tales or she might have to. Tattlers are wicked anyway. 'Telltale tit! Your tongue shall be slit, and all the little dogs'--There! run now! There's your poppy. Don't you never,--never!”

Emmy let her eyes be wiped, and with one long, solemn, secret look of awed intelligence she ran out to meet her father. She did not love him, and the smile with which she met him was no new lesson in diplomacy. But her first secret from him lay deep in the beautiful eyes, her mother's eyes, as she raised them to his.

“Ain't that wonderful!” said Becky, with a satisfied sigh, watching her. “Safe as a jug! An' she not five years old!” For vital reasons she had taught the child an ugly lesson. Such lessons were common enough in her experience of family discipline. She never thought of it again.

That year which took Emmy's mother from her brought to the child her first young companion and friend. Adam Bogardus came as chore-boy to the farm,--an only child himself, and sensitive through the clashing of gentle instincts with rough and inferior surroundings; brought up in that depressed God-fearing attitude in which a widow not strong, and earning her bread, would do her duty by an only son. Not a natural fighter, she took what little combativeness he had out of him, and made his school-days miserable--a record of humiliations that sunk deep and drove him from his kind. He was a big, clumsy, sagacious boy, grave as an old man, always snubbed and condescended to, yet always trusted. Little Emmy made him her bondslave at sight. His whole soul blossomed in adoration of the beautiful, masterful child who ordered him about as her vassal, while slipping a soft little trustful hand in his. She trotted at his heels like one of the lambs or chickens that he fed. She brought him into perpetual disgrace with Becky, for wasting his time through her imperious demands. She was the burden, the delight, the handicap, the incentive, and the reward of his humble apprenticeship. And when he was promoted to be one of the regular hands she followed him still, and got her pleasure out of his day's work. No one had such patience to tell her things, to wait for her and help her over places where her tagging powers fell short. But though she bullied him, she looked up to him as well. His occupations commanded her respect. He was the god of the orchards and of the cider-making; he presided at all the functions of the farm year. He was a perfect calendar besides of country sports in their season. He swept the ice pools in the meadow for winter sliding, after his day's work was done. He saved up paper and string for kite-making in March. He knew when willow bark would slip for April's whistles. In the first heats of June he climbed the tall locust-trees to put up a swing in which she could dream away the perfumed hours. At harvest she waited in the meadow for him to toss her up on the hay-loads, and his great arms received her when she slid off in the barn. She knelt at his feet on the bumping boards of the farm-wagon while he braced himself like a charioteer, holding the reins above her head. He threshed the nut-trees and routed marauding boys from her preserves, and carved pumpkin lanterns to light her to her attic chamber on cold November nights, where she would lie awake watching strange shadows on the sloping roof, half worshiping, half afraid of her idol's ugliness in the dark.

These were some of Paul's illustrations of that pastoral beginning, and no doubt they were sympathetically close to the truth. He lingered over them, dressing up his mother's choice instinctively to the little aristocrat beside him.

When Emmy grew big enough to go to the Academy, three miles from the farm, it was all in the day's work that Adam should take her and fetch her home. He combined her with the mail, the blacksmith, and other village errands. Whoever met her father's team on those long stony hills of Saugerties would see his little daughter seated beside his hired man, her face turned up to his in endless confiding talk. It was a face, as we say, to dream of. But there were few dreamers in that little world. The farmers would nod gravely to Adam. “Abraham's girl takes after her mother; heartier lookin', though. Guess he'll need a set o' new tires before spring.” The comments went no deeper.

Abraham was now well on in years; he made no visits, and he never drove his own team at night. When his daughter began to let down her frocks and be asked to evening parties, it was still Adam who escorted her. He sat in the kitchen while she was amusing herself in the parlor. She discussed her young acquaintances with him on their way home. The time for distinctions had come, but she was too innocent to feel them herself, and too proud to accept the standards of others. He was absolutely honest and unworldly. He thought it no treachery to love her for herself, and he believed, as most of us do, that his family was as good as hers or any other.

It would be hard to explain the old man's obliviousness. Perhaps he had forgotten his own youth; or class prejudice had gone so deep with him as to preclude the bare thought of a child of his falling in love with one of his “men.” His imagination could not so insult his own blood. But when the awakening came, his passion of anger and resentment knew no bounds. To discharge his faithless employee out of hand would be the cripple throwing away his crutch. Though he called Adam _one_ of his men, and though his pay was that of a common laborer, his duties had long been of a much higher order. Abraham had made a very good bargain out of the widow's son. Adam knew well that he could not be spared, and pitied the old man's helpless rage. He took his frantic insults as part of his senility, and felt it no unmanliness to appease it by giving his promise that he would speak no more of love to Emmy while he was taking her father's wages. But Emmy did not indorse this promise fully. To her it looked like weakness, and implied a sort of patience which did not become a lover such as she wished hers to be. The winter wore on uncomfortably for all. Towards spring, Becky's last illness and passing away brought the younger ones together again, and closer than before. Adam kept his promise through days and nights of sickroom intimacy; but though no word of love was spoken, each bore silent witness to what was loveliest in the other, and the bond between them deepened.

Then spring came, and its restlessness was strong upon them both. But it was Emmy to whom it meant action and rebellion.

They stood on the orchard hill one Sunday afternoon at the pause of the year. Buds were swelling and the edges of the woods wore a soft blush against the vaporous sky. The bare brown slopes were streaked with snow. A floe of winter ice, grinding upon itself with the tide, glared yellow as an old man's teeth in the setting sun. From across the river came the thunder of a train, bound north, two engines dragging forty cars of freight piled up by some recent traffic-jam; it plunged into a tunnel, and they waited, listening to the monster's smothered roar. Out it burst, its breath packed into clouds, the engines whooped, and round the curve where a point of cedars cut the sky the huge creature unwound itself, the hills echoing to its tread.

Emmy watched it out of sight, and breathed again. “Hundreds, hundreds going every day! It seems easy enough for everybody else. Oh, if I were a man!”

“What do you want I should do, Emmy?” Adam knew well what man she was thinking of.

“_I_ want? Don't you ever want things yourself?”

“When I want a thing bad, I gen'ly think it's worth waiting for.”

“People don't get things by waiting. I don't know how you can stand it,--to stay here year after year. And now you've tied yourself up with a promise, and you know you cannot keep it!”

“I'm trying to keep it.”

“You couldn't keep it if you cared--really and truly--as some do!” She dropped her voice hurriedly. “To live here and eat your meals day after day and pass me like a stick or a stone!”

The slow blood burned in Adam's face and hammered in his pulses. His blue eyes were bashful through its heat. “I don't feel like a stick nor a stone. You know it, Emmy. You want to be careful,” he added gently. “Would going away look as if I cared?”

“Why--why don't you ask me to go with you?” The girl tried to meet his eyes. She turned off her question with a proud laugh.

“Be--careful, child! You know why I can't take you up on that. Would you want we should leave him here alone--without even Becky? You're only trying me for fun.”

“No; I am not!” Emmy was pale now. Her breast was rising in strong excitement. “If we were gone, he would know then what you are worth to him. Now, you're only Adam! He thinks he can put you down like a boy. He won't believe I care for you. There's only one way to show him--that is, if we do care. In one month he would be sending for us back. Then we could come, and you would take your right place here, and be somebody. You would not eat in the kitchen, then. Haven't you been like a son to him? And why shouldn't he own it?”

“But if he won't? Suppose he don't send for us to come back?”

“Then you could strike out for yourself. What was Tom Madden, before he went away to Colorado, or somewhere--where was it? And now everybody stops to shake hands with him;--he's as much of a man as anybody. If you could make a little money. That's the proof he wants. If you were rich, you'd be all right with him. You know that!”

“I'd hate to think it. But I'll never be rich. Put that out of your mind, Emmy. It don't run in the blood. I don't come of a money-making breed.”