Part 27

_Bruno, Buffalmaco_ and _Nello_, hearing these raving speeches of _Calandrino_, were swolne so bigge with laughter, as if their ribbes would have burst in sunder; neverthelesse, they abstained so well as they were able; but Doctor _Simon_ gaped so wide with laughing as one might easily have pluckt out all his teeth. In the end, because he could tarry there no longer, but was preparing to depart: _Calandrino_ thanked him for his paines, requesting that hee would be carefull of him, in aiding him with his best advise and counsell, and he would not be unmindfull of him. Honest neighbour _Calandrino_, answered the Phisition, I would not have you to torment your selfe, in such an impatient and tempestuous manner, because I perceive the time so to hasten on, as we shall soone perceive (and that within very few dayes space) your health well restored, and without the sense of much paine; but indeed it will cost expences. Alas Sir, said _Calandrino_, mak not any spare of my purse, to procure that I may have safe deliverance. I have two hundred Florines, lately falne to me by the death of mine Aunt, wherewith I intended to purchase a Farme in the Countrey: take them all if need be, onely reserving some few for my lying in Childbed. And then Master Doctor, Alas, I know not how to behave my selfe, for I have heard the grievous complaint of women in that case, oppressed with bitter pangs and throwes; as questionlesse they will bee my death, except you have the greater care of me.

Be of good cheere neighbour _Calandrino_, replyed Doctor _Simon_, I will provide an excellent distilled drinke for you, marvellously pleasing in taste, and of soveraigne vertue, which will resolve all in three mornings, making you as whole and as sound as a Fish newly spawned. But you must have an especiall care afterward, being providently wise, least you fall into the like follies againe. Concerning the preparation of this precious drinke, halfe a dozen of Capons, the very fairest and fattest, I must make use of in the distillation: what other things shall bee imployed beside, you may deliver forty Florines to one of these your honest friends, to see all the necessaries bought, and sent me home to my house. Concerning my businesse, make you no doubt thereof, for I will have all distilled against to morrow, and then doe you drinke a great Glasse full every morning, fresh and fasting next your heart. _Calandrino_ was highly pleased with his words, returning master Doctor infinite thankes, and referring all to his disposing. And having given forty Florines to _Bruno_, with other money beside, to buy the halfe dozen of Capons: he thought himselfe greatly beholding to them all, and protested to requite their kindenesse.

Master Doctor being gone home to his house, made ready a bottel of very excellent Hypocrasse, which he sent the next day according to his promise: and _Bruno_ having bought the Capons, with other junkets, fit for the turne, the Phisitian and his merry Companions, fed on them hartely for the givers sake. As for _Calandrino_, he liked his dyet drinke excellently well, quaffing a large Glassefull off three mornings together: afterward Master Doctor and the rest came to see him, and having felt his pulse, the Phisition said. _Calandrino_, thou art now as sound in health, as any man in all _Florence_ can be: thou needest not to keepe within doores any longer, but walke abroad boldly, for all is well and the childe gone.

_Calandrino_ arose like a joyfull man, and walked daily through the streets, in the performance of such affaires as belonged to him: and every acquaintance he met withall, he told the condition of his sudden sickenesse; and what a rare cure Master Doctor _Simon_ had wrought on him, delivering him (in three dayes space) of a childe, and without the feeling of any paine. _Bruno, Buffalmaco,_ and _Nello,_ were not a little jocond, for meeting so well with covetous _Calandrino_: but how the Wife liked the folly of her Husband, I leave to the judgement of all good Women.

Francesco Fortarigo, _played away all that he had at_ Buonconvento, _and likewise the money of_ Francesco Aniolliero, _being his Master. Then running after him in his shirt, and avouching that hee had robbed him: he caused him to be taken by Pezants of the Country, clothed himselfe in his Masters wearing garments, and (mounted on his horse) rode thence to_ Sienna, _leaving_ Aniolliero _in his shirt, and walked bare-footed._

The fourth Novell.

_Serving as an admonition to all men, for taking Gamesters and Drunkards into their service._

The ridiculous words given by _Calandrino_ to his Wife, all the whole company hartily laughed at: but _Philostratus_ ceassing, Madame _Neiphila_ (as it pleased the Queene to appoint) began to speake thus. Vertuous Ladies, if it were not more hard and uneasie for men, to make good their understanding and vertue, then apparant publication of their disgrace and folly; many would not labour in vaine, to curbe in their idle speeches with a bridle, as you have manifestly observed by the weake wit of _Calandrino_. Who needed no such fantastick circumstance, to cure the strange disease, which he imagined (by sottish perswasions) to have: had hee not been so lavish of his tongue, and accused his Wife of over-mastering him. Which maketh me remember a Novell, quite contrary to this last related, namely, how one man may strive to surmount another in malice; yet he to sustaine the greater harme, that had (at the first) the most advantage of his enemy, as I will presently declare unto you.

There dwelt in _Sienna_, and not many yeeres since, two young men of equall age, both of them bearing the name of _Francesco_: but the one was descended of the _Aniollieri_, and the other likewise of the _Fortarigi_; so that they were commonly called _Aniolliero_, and _Fortarigo_, both Gentlemen, and well derived. Now, although in many other matters, their complexions did differ very much: Yet notwithstanding, they varied not in one bad qualitie, namely too great neglect of their Fathers, which caused their more frequent conversation, as very familiar and respective friends. But _Aniolliero_ (being a very goodly and faire conditioned young Gentleman) apparently perceiving, that he could not maintaine himselfe at _Sienna_, in such estate as he liked, and upon the pension allowed him by his Father, hearing also, that at the Marquisate of _Ancona_, there lived the Popes Legate, a worthy Cardinall, his much indeared good Lord and friend: he intended to goe visite him, as hoping to advance his fortunes by him.

Having acquainted his Father with this determination, he concluded with him, to have that from him in a moment which might supply his wants for many moneths, because he would be clothed gallantly, and mounted honourably. And seeking for a servant necessary to attend on him, it chanced that _Fortarigo_ hearing thereof, came presently to _Aniolliero_, intreating him in the best manner he could, to let him waite on him as his serving man, promising both dutifull and diligent attendance: yet not to demaund any other wages, but onely payment of his ordinary expences. _Aniolliero_ made him answere, that he durst not give him entertainment, not in regard of his insufficiency, and unaptnesse for service: but because he was a great Gamester, and divers times would be beastly drunke? whereto _Fortarigo_ replyed that hee would refraine from both those foule vices, and addict all his endeavour wholly to please him, without just taxation of any grosse errour; making such solemne vowes and protestations beside, as conquered _Aniolliero_, and won his consent.

Being entred upon his journey, and arriving in a morning at _Buonconvento_, there _Aniolliero_ determined to dine, and afterward, finding the heate to be unfit for travaile; he caused a bed to be prepared, wherein being laid to rest by the helpe of _Fortarigo_, he gave him charge, that after the heates violence was overpast, hee should not faile to call and awake him. While _Aniolliero_ slept thus in his bed, _Fortarigo_, never remembring his solemne vowes and promises: went to the Taverne, where having drunke indifferently, and finding company fit for the purpose, he fell to play at the dice with them. In a very short while, he had not onely lost his money, but all the cloathes on his backe likewise, and coveting to recover his losses againe; naked in his shirt, he went to _Aniollieroes_ Chamber, where finding him yet soundly sleeping, he tooke all the money he had in his purse, and then returned backe to play, speeding in the same manner as hee did before, not having one poore penny left him.

_Aniolliero_ chancing to awake, arose and made him ready, without any servant to helpe him; then calling for _Fortarigo_, and not hearing any tydings of him: he began immediately to imagine, that he was become drunke, and so had falne asleepe in one place or other, as very often he was wont to doe. Wherefore, determining so to leave him, he caused the male and Saddle to be set on his horse; & so to furnish himselfe with a more honest servant at _Corsignano_.

But when hee came to pay his hoste, hee found not any penny left him: whereupon (as well he might) he grew greatly offended, and raised much trouble in the house, charged the hoasts people to have robde him, and threatening to have them sent as prisoners to _Sienna_. Suddenly entred _Fortarigo_ in his shirt, with intent to have stolne _Aniollieroes_ garments, as formerly hee did the money out of his purse, and seeing him ready to mount on horsebacke, hee saide.

How now _Aniolliero_? What shall we goe away so soone? I pray you Sir tarry a little while, for an honest man is comming hither, who hath my Doublet engaged for eight and thirty shillings; and I am sure that he will restore it me back for five and thirty, if I could presently pay him downe the money.

During the speeches, an other entred among them, who assured _Aniolliero_, that _Fortarigo_ was the Thiefe which robde him of his money, shewing him also how much hee had lost at the Dice: Wherewith _Aniolliero_ being much mooved, very angerly reprooved _Fortarigo_, and, but for feare of the Law, would have offered him outrage, thretning to have him hangd by the neck, or else condemned to the Gallies belonging to _Florence_, and so mounted on his horse. _Fortarigo_ making shew to the standers by, as if _Aniolliero_ menaced some other body, and not him, said. Come _Aniolliero_, I pray thee let us leave this frivilous prating, for (indeede) it is not worth a Button, and minde a matter of more importance: my Doublet will bee had againe for five and thirty shillings, if the money may bee tendered downe at this very instant, whereas if we deferre it till to morrow, perhaps hee will then have the whole eight and thirty which he lent me, and he doth me this pleasure, because I am ready (at another time) to affoord him the like courtesie; why then should we loose three shillings, when they may so easily be saved.

_Aniolliero_ hearing him speake in such confused manner, and perceiving also, that they which stood gazing by, beleeved (as by their lookes appeared) that _Fortarigo_ had not played away his Masters mony at the Dice, but rather that he had some stocke of _Fortarigoes_ in his custody; angerly answered; Thou sawcy companion, what have I to doe with thy Doublet? I would thou wert hangd, not only for playing away my money, but also by delaying thus my journey, and yet boldly thou standest out-facing mee, as if I were no better then thy fellow. _Fortarigo_ held on still his former behaviour, without using any respect or reverence to _Aniolliero_, as if all the accusations did not concerne him, but saying, Why should wee not take the advantage of three shillings profit? Thinkest thou, that I am not able to doe as much for thee? why, lay out so much money for my sake, and make no more haste then needs we must, because we have day-light enough to bring us (before night) to _Torreniero_. Come, draw thy purse, and pay the money, for upon mine honest word, I may enquire throughout all _Sienna_, and yet not find such another Doublet as this of mine is. To say then, that I should leave it, where it now lyeth pawned, and for eight and thirty shillings, when it is richly more worth then fifty, I am sure to suffer a double endammagement thereby.

You may well imagine, that _Aniolliero_ was now enraged beyond all patience, to see himselfe both robde of his money, and overborne with presumptuous language: wherefore, without making any more replications, he gave the spurre to his horse, and rode away towards _Torreniero_. Now fell _Fortarigo_ into a more knavish intention against _Aniolliero_, and being very speedy in running, followed apace after him in his shirt, crying out still aloude to him all the way, to let him have his Doublet againe. _Aniolliero_ riding on very fast, to free his eares from this idle importunity, it fortuned that _Fortarigo_ espied divers countrey Pezants, labouring in the fields about their businesse, and by whom _Aniolliero_ (of necessity) must passe: To them he cryed out so loude as he could; Stay the Thiefe, Stop the Thiefe, he rides away so fast, having robde me.

They being provided, some with Prongges, Pitchforkes and Spades, and others with the like weapons fit for Husbandry, stept into the way before _Aniolliero_: and beleeving undoubtedly, that he had robde the man which pursued him in his shirt, stayed and apprehended him. Whatsoever _Aniolliero_ could doe or say, prevailed not any thing with the unmannerly Clownes, but when _Fortarigo_ was arrived among them, he braved _Aniolliero_ most impudently, saying.

What reason have I to spoile thy life (thou traiterous Villaine) to rob and spoyle thy Master thus on the high way? Then turning to the Countrey Boores: How much deare friends (quoth he) am I beholding to you for this unexpected kindnesse? You behold in what manner he left me in my Lodging, having first playd away all my money at the Dice, and then deceiving me of my horse and garments also: but had not you (by great good lucke) thus holpe mee to stay him; a poore Gentleman had bin undone for ever, and I should never have found him againe.

_Aniolliero_ avouched the truth of his wrong received, but the base peazants, giving credite onely to _Fortarigoes_ lying exclamations: tooke him from his horse, despoyled him of all his wearing apparrell, even to the very Bootes from off his Legges: suffered him to ride away from him in that manner, and _Aniolliero_ left so in his shirt, to dance a bare-foote Galliard after him, either towards _Sienna_, or any place else.

Thus _Aniolliero_, purposing to visite his Cousin the Cardinal like a Gallant, and at the Marquisate of _Ancona_, returned backe poorly in his shirt unto _Buonconvento_, and durst not (for shame) repaire to _Sienna_. In the end, he borrowed money on the other horse which _Fortarigo_ rode on, and remained there in the Inne, whence riding to _Corsignano_, where he had divers Kinsmen and Friends, he continued there so long with them, till he was better furnished from his Father.

Thus you may perceive, that the cunning Villanies of _Fortarigo_, hindred the honest intended enterprise of _Aniolliero_, howbeit in fit time and place, nothing afterward was left unpunished.

Calandrino _became extraordinarily enamoured of a young Damosell, named_ Nicholetta. Bruno _prepared a Charme or writing for him, avouching constantly to him, that so soone as he touched the Damosell therewith, she should follow him whithersoever hee would have her. She being gone to an appointed place with him, hee was found there by his wife, and dealt withall according to his deserving._

The fift Novell.

_In just reprehension of those vaine-headed fooles, that are led and governed by idle perswasions._

Because the Novell reported by Madame _Neiphila_ was so soone concluded, without much laughter, or commendation of the whole Company: the Queene turned hir selfe towards Madam _Fiammetta_, enjoyning her to succeed in apt order; & she being as ready as sodainly commanded, began as followeth. Most gentle Ladies, I am perswaded of your opinion in judgement with mine, that there is not any thing, which can bee spoken pleasingly, except it be conveniently suited with apt time and place: in which respect, when Ladies and Gentlewomen are bent to discoursing, the due election of them both are necessarily required. And therefore I am not unmindfull, that our meeting heere (ayming at nothing more, then to out-weare the time with our generall contentment) should tye us to the course of our pleasure and recreation, to the same conveniency of time and place, not sparing, though some have bin nominated oftentimes in our passed arguments; yet, if occasion serve, and the nature of variety be well considered, wee may speake of the selfsame persons againe.

Now, notwithstanding the actions of _Calandrino_ have been indifferently canvazed among us; yet, remembring what _Philostratus_ not long since saide, That they intended to nothing more then matter of mirth: I presume the boldlier, to report another Novell of him, beside them already past. And, were I willing to conceale the truth, and cloath it in more circumstantiall manner: I could make use of contrary names, and paint it in a poeticall fiction, perhaps more probable, though not so pleasing. But because wandring from the truth of things, doth much diminish (in relation) the delight of the hearers: I will build boldly on my fore-alledged reason, and tel you truly how it hapned.

_Niccholao Cornocchini_ was once a Citizen of ours, and a man of great wealth; who, among other his rich possessions in _Camerata_, builded there a very goodly house, which being perfected ready for painting: he compounded with _Bruno_ and _Buffalmaco_, who because** their worke required more helpe then their owne, they drew _Nello_ and _Calandrino_ into their association, and began to proceed in their businesse. And because there was a Chamber or two, having olde moveables in them, as Bedding, Tables, and other Houshold stuffe beside, which were in the custody of an old Woman that kepte the house, without the helpe of any other servants else, a Son unto the saide _Niccholao_, beeing named _Phillippo_, resorted thither divers times, with one or other prety Damosell in his company (in regard he was unmarried) where he would abide a day or two with her, & then convey her home againe.

At one time among the rest, it chanced that he brought a Damosell thither named _Nicholetta_, who was maintained by a wily companion, called _Magione_, in a dwelling which hee had at _Camaldoli_, and (indeed) no honester then she should be. She was a very beautifull young woman, wearing garments of great value, and (according to her quality) well spoken, and of commendable carriage. Comming forth of her Chamber one day, covered with a White veyle, because her haire hung loose about her, which shee went to wash at a Well in the middle Court, bathing there also her face and hands: _Calandrino_ going (by chance) to the same Well for water, gave her a secret salutation. She kindly returning the like courtesie to him, began to observe him advisedly: more, because he looked like a man newly come thither, then any handsomnesse she perceyved in him.

_Calandrino_ threw wanton glances at her, and seeing she was both faire and lovely, began to finde some occasion of tarrying, so that he returned not with water to his other associates, yet neither knowing her, or daring to deliver one word. She, who was not to learn her lesson in alluring, noting what affectionate regards (with bashfulnesse) he gave her: answered him more boldly with the like; but meerly in scorning manner, breathing forth divers dissembled sighs among them: so that _Calandrino_ became foolishly inveigled with her love, and would not depart out of the Court, untill _Phillippo_, standing above in his Chamber window called her thence.

When _Calandrino_ was returned backe to his businesse, he could do nothing else, but shake the head, sigh, puffe, and blowe, which being observed by _Bruno_ (who alwayes fitted him according to his folly, as making a meer mockery of his very best behaviour) sodainly he said. Why how now _Calandrino_? Sigh, puff, and blow man? What may be the reason of these unwonted qualities? _Calandrino_ immediately answered, saying: My friendly Companion _Bruno_, if I had one to lend me a little helpe, I should very quickely become well enough. How? quoth _Bruno_, doth any thing offend thee, and wilt thou not reveale it to thy friends? Deare _Bruno_, said _Calandrino_, there is a proper handsome woman here in the house, the goodliest creature that every any eye beheld, much fairer then the Queen of Fairies her selfe, who is so deeply falne in love with mee, as thou wouldst thinke it no lesse then a wonder; and yet I never sawe her before, till yet while when I was sent to fetch water. A very strange case, answered _Bruno_, take heede _Calandrino_, that shee bee not the lovely friend to _Phillippo_, our yong Master, for then it may prove a dangerous matter.

_Calandrino_ stood scratching his head an indifferent while, and then sodainly replyed thus. Now trust me _Bruno_, it is to bee doubted, because he called her at his Window, and she immediatly went up to his Chamber. But what doe I care if it be so? Have not the Gods themselves bene beguiled of their Wenches, who were better men then ever _Phillippo_ can be, and shall I stand in feare of him? _Bruno_ replied: Be patient _Calandrino_, I will enquire what Woman she is, and if she be not the wife or friend to our young master _Phillippo_, with faire perswasions I can over-rule the matter, because shee is a familiar acquaintance of mine. But how shall wee doe, that _Buffalmaco_ may not know heereof? I can never speake to her, if hee be in my company. For _Buffalmaco_ (quoth _Calandrino_) I have no feare of all, but rather of _Nello_, because he is a neer Kinsman to my wife, and he is able to undo me quite, if once it should come to his hearing. Thou saist well, replyed _Bruno_, therefore the matter hath neede to be very cleanly carried.

Now let me tell you, the Woman was well enough knowne to _Bruno_, as also her quality of life, which _Phillippo_ had acquainted him withall, and the reason of her resorting thither. Wherefore, _Calandrino_ going forth of the roome where they wrought, onely to gaine another sight of _Nicholetta, Bruno_ revealed the whole history to _Buffalmaco_ and _Nello_; they all concluding together, how this amorous fit of the foole was to be followed. And when _Calandrino_ was returned backe againe; in whispering manner _Bruno_ said to him. Hast thou once more seene her? Yes, yes _Bruno_, answered _Calandrino_: Alas, she hath slaine me with her very eye, and I am no better then a dead man. Be patient said _Bruno_, I will goe and see whether she be the same woman which I take her for, or no: and if it prove so, then never feare, but refer the businesse unto me.