ACT I.

Scene:--_Garden. Eastville Hotel. Set house R. 2 E., with practicable door and steps. Wicket fence from R. 4 E. to L. 4 E., with practicable gate C. Rustic table and two chairs down L. C. Rustic settees up R. C. and L. C. As curtain rises MATT WHEELER is discovered seated at table L., with newspaper in hand, reading_.

=Wheeler.= (_reading_) Last evening a bold and daring robbery was committed at the residence of Mrs. Thornton. While she was serving her guests with refreshments, some one entered her dressing-room and removed from her jewel-case diamonds valued at a fabulous price, leaving in exchange perfect specimens of worthless glass imitations. Suspicion points strongly to George Graef, her nephew, as the guilty party. He was seen to enter Davis's pawn shop late last night, after the guests had left his aunt's residence, and pawn something. One of the diamonds was recovered this morning from Davis's store, but he professed ignorance as to the name of the man who left it. Young Graef, though he strongly denies committing the theft, was compelled to leave his aunt's residence this morning. He has been very dissipated of late, drinking and gambling to excess, and it is thought that financial embarrassment tempted him to commit the crime. (_lays paper on table_) Poor fellow! What an inglorious ending for what _might_ have been a brilliant career. _Gilded youth_, like the rest of common humanity, when it enters the arena against the sparkling cup, witty companions and fascinating games of chance, must finally succumb.

Enter _PETE, L. U. E.; passes through gate_.

=Pete.= (_bowing_) Massa Wheeler, missus sends her best 'spects, an' quests de delight ob yo'r pleasure to dinner, sah.

=Wheeler.= Requests the pleasure of my _company_, I suppose you mean.

=Pete.= Yes, sah, I 'spects dat's what she meant. (_aside_) One nebber knows what dese wimmin folks mean by what dey says, no-how.

=Wheeler.= At what time do you dine?

=Pete.= (_looking at WHEELER a moment_) Sah?

=Wheeler.= At what time do you eat dinner?

=Pete.= When de rest git froo.

=Wheeler.= What time do the rest usually "get through?"

=Pete.= I dunno. (_laughs_) Guess when dey gits tired ob eatin'.

=Wheeler.= You impertinent black rascal! What do you mean by answering me in that manner?

=Pete.= (_aside_) By golly, he's mad already! (_aloud_) Massa Wheeler, yo' knows jest as well as I do dat I was not sassin' yo'. Yo' axes me at what time I eats, an' I tole yo'. Yo' don't s'pose I eats wid de _quality_ folks, does yo'?

=Wheeler.= I'd not be the least bit surprised if they were to allow you. You have never been taught your true position, nor how to address a gentleman.

=Pete.= I 'spects I knows how to 'dress dem when I meets 'em.

=Wheeler.= (_angrily_) What's that?

=Pete.= Massa Wheeler, it 'pears mighty queer dat yo' an' I can't talk sociably for five minnits widout quarrelin'. I'se agwine to tell missus dat de next time she wants a note sent to you, dat she will hab to seek some oder 'vayance, for I won't take it, suah.

=Wheeler.= So Mrs. Thornton sent me a note, did she?

=Pete.= Ob course she did.

=Wheeler.= Where is it?

=Pete.= In my pocket.

=Wheeler.= Why did you not give it to me then, instead of attempting to deliver her message verbally?

=Pete.= Kase yo' nebber axed me for it.

=Wheeler.= Give it to me this instant, you black imp. (_PETE gives note; WHEELER hastily reads it_)

=Pete.= (_aside_) It's mighty plain what kind ob company he 'sociates wid. 'Pears to me he's nebber learned how to 'dress gen'men, eider. (_points to self_)

=Wheeler.= (_folding note_) Give my compliments to Mrs. Thornton and tell her I shall be pleased to accept her kind invitation.

=Pete.= (_going_) Yes, sah. An' I'll gib her a message or two dat yo' didn't send her.

=Wheeler.= (_angrily_) What's that? Off with you! I shall inform Mrs. Thornton of your insolence as soon as I see her.

=Pete.= Don't worry yo'self. I'll see her 'fore yo' will. (_laughs and_ exit, _gate C. Goes L._)

=Wheeler.= (_angrily_) Confound that piece of ebony! He's enough to irritate a saint. He's been petted by the whole household until he has become worse than a spoiled child. Just wait--(_PETE re-appears softly at gate C., and listens_) until Helen and I are married, and _I'm_ his master. I'll teach that grinning jackanapes his true position. (_PETE shakes his fist at WHEELER, and runs off L., smiling_) Why doesn't Daisy come? I must regain possession of that charm and note, otherwise I may have trouble in accounting for their presence wherever they may be. Hang my carelessness!

Enter _GRAEF, R. U. E.; passes through gate and goes down C._

=Wheeler.= (_advances and playfully slaps GRAEF on left shoulder_) Graef, old boy, how are you? I was just thinking about you, and regretting that you had got yourself into trouble.

=Graef.= To what do you refer?

=Wheeler.= (_lightly_) To that little affair at your aunt's house last night.

=Graef.= Then you have heard about it?

=Wheeler.= Why, of course.

=Graef.= From whom?

=Wheeler.= I saw a little account of it in this morning's issue (_pointing to paper on table_) of the _Sun_.

=Graef.= (_surprised_) What! Has it already appeared in print? (_picks up paper and reads to himself while WHEELER is talking_)

=Wheeler.= Yes, but you need not mind that. All you have to do is to leave town for a few years. Go to some place where you are unknown, carve out a name and fortune for yourself, return here _wealthy_, and this trivial offence of yours will be condoned, at least, if you are not made a hero of.

=Graef.= (_excitedly, pointing to passage in article_) That's not true. I was not "compelled to leave my aunt's residence." I left of my own free will. I could not remain there after I knew she thought I had committed the deed.

=Wheeler.= (_soothingly_) Of course not; never mind that article, it's not of much importance. No one believes sensational newspaper reports, anyhow.

=Graef.= But that does me a gross injustice.

=Wheeler.= Oh, pshaw, that's nothing. Let it go, and forget all about it. What do you intend doing with yourself now?

=Graef.= I intend to remain here, turn over a new leaf, make a man of myself, and live down this disgrace.

=Wheeler.= (_coolly_) Better not.

=Graef.= Why?

=Wheeler.= Because you will not find it a comfortable existence. Persons who know you well, like myself, would pay no attention to the charge preferred against you, but----

=Graef.= Well?

=Wheeler.= There are plenty of others who would, and your daily life would be beset by the harassing knowledge of being surrounded by those who doubted your honesty.

=Graef.= Let them doubt me if they will. The peace and tranquility that innocence imparts to me will more than over-balance that.

=Wheeler.= Have it as you will. But if you were to follow the advice of a friend, you would do as I suggested, leave this town and that instantly.

=Graef.= (_suspiciously_) You appear anxious to have me go.

=Wheeler.= Oh, no; not anxious in the sense you mean. I only wish to save you and your friends unnecessary pain. If you are short of funds, say so and I will advance you any reasonable sum you may require.

=Graef.= (_coldly_) Thank you. I did not come here to beg assistance. I merely stopped to tell you that under existing circumstances you will have to select some other groomsman; I cannot officiate.

=Wheeler.= I'm sorry, but as to selecting another, that's out of the question. It's too late. If you remain in town I presume you will be present at our marriage.

=Graef.= No, that's impossible! (_going_)

=Wheeler.= It's too bad, old boy; but keep up your spirits. You had better think over my suggestion.

=Graef.= (_at gate_) Once for all, Wheeler, I tell you, I'll never do it. I'm no coward. Here in this town I was born and raised, and _here_ I'll remain and redeem my character. I'll either live down the stigma attached to it, or die in the attempt.

Exit _gate C., and goes off R._

=Wheeler.= (_with power_) Curse it! Foiled again! But go he must, or I'll ruin him body and soul. I know his weaknesses, and I'll play upon them until he accomplishes my purpose. (_bitterly_) Oh, to get even with her father and relations has been my prayer for years. (_goes to table L., and sits; picks up paper and pretends to read, but lays it aside as soon as DAISY comes forward_)

Enter _DAISY L. U. E.; opens gate C. and comes down_.

=Wheeler.= Ah, Daisy, is that you?

=Daisy.= Yes, sir.

=Wheeler.= I thought you had forgotten the message I sent you.

=Daisy.= No, sir, but I could not come any earlier, and I can only stay a moment now. We are very busy at home preparing for the Deacon's arrival. You know Mrs. Thornton expects him to-day.

=Wheeler.= Yes, I was aware of it. How does Mrs. Thornton stand her loss?

=Daisy.= Oh, she feels terribly about it, sir. She has forbidden Miss Helen, Pete and all of us ever to mention the subject to her. Just to think that Mr. George should be guilty of such a thing! But then I don't believe he did do it!

=Wheeler.= (_affecting surprise_) Don't you? Well, I wish I could think so, too. You know he has been very wild of late.

=Daisy.= I know he has; but Mr. George would never do a mean thing like that.

=Wheeler.= (_doubtingly_) I don't know.

=Daisy.= (_warmly_) Well, I do. But I must be going. What did you wish to see me about, sir?

=Wheeler.= Did you find a watch charm or note anywhere in your house this morning?

=Daisy.= No, sir.

=Wheeler.= I lost them somewhere last night, and I'm pretty sure it was in your house. They are of no use to anybody but me. I prize the charm solely because it was a present from my mother, and the note accompanied it. Now if you find them and return them to me as soon as you possibly can, I'll make you a present of a ten-dollar bill.

=Daisy.= Oh, thank you, sir. I'll try my best to find them. Is that all? I must hurry back home again.

=Wheeler.= Yes, I believe so.

=Daisy.= Be careful when you see Mrs. Thornton and don't say anything to her about her loss or Mr. George. Good morning, sir.

=Wheeler.= All right, I won't. Good morning. (Exit _DAISY, gate C.; goes L. WHEELER walks to door steps R. 2 E.; stops and faces audience_) If her search proves successful, that will be the easiest ten dollars she ever earned. But suppose it proves fruitless! What then? I should be placed in a very unpleasant position. (_thinks_) Ah, well, it's time to worry when trouble overtakes one. I've often been more sorely pressed than I shall be by this little affair, and come out all right; and I guess I can do it again if the emergency arises. (_turns quickly and starts to enter house_).

Enter READ, R. U. E.

=Read.= (_at gate outside_) Hist, Matt, are you alone?

=Wheeler.= Yes.

=Read.= Then get ready, for the Deacon is coming.

=Wheeler.= (_off steps, near gate_) Where is he?

=Read.= Coming up the street, (_pointing R._) about a square off. We missed the early stage, so there was no one to meet him. I directed him here for information as to Mrs. Thornton's residence.

=Wheeler.= Did you ride over with him in the stage?

=Read.= Yes, there was no one in the stage with us except the Deacon's boy, Billy.

=Wheeler.= (_disappointed_) Has he a boy with him? That's bad.

=Read.= Yes, a dull, ignorant, country lout. But he'll not interfere with your plans, for I sent him around the square, and some of the boys will be sure to detain him and have some fun with him.

=Wheeler.= Did you have any trouble in getting the Deacon to try your lemonade?

=Read.= (_laughing_) Not a particle. He complained about the heat and the jostling of the stage making him feel sick and giddy; so I pulled out my flask, told him I was subject to just such attacks while travelling, and that I always went prepared for such emergencies, etc. After I assured him that the flask contained nothing but weak lemonade and a harmless ingredient to give it its peculiar color, he nearly emptied it for me.

=Wheeler.= Did you mix your lemonade according to my directions?

=Read.= Yes, and if he is not jolly blind drunk inside of a half hour, then I don't know my man. His tongue was beginning to wag when I left him. But I must be off, for the Deacon is nearly here. (_starts to go, but stops near L. U. E. as WHEELER speaks_)

=Wheeler.= Read, stop a moment. Try and find Walters, and send him here inside of an hour, will you?

=Read.= You forget that Walters has not returned from----

=Wheeler.= Hush! Confound it, that's true. It takes him an eternity to do the simplest thing. Never mind, I'll attend to it myself. Get off with you now, quick. (Exit _READ, L. U. E. WHEELER goes down C._) I'll let the precious booty remain in its hiding place until I start on my wedding tour, then I'll take it along with me. It's safe where it is. (_crosses to chair L. of table_) First I must make the Deacon gloriously drunk. Then ascertain if it be true that he intends to give Helen a wedding present of a check for ten thousand dollars; and, finally, send him to his sister-in-law's in a drunken condition. That will be triumph No. 1. (_sits in chair_)

Enter _the DEACON R. U. E., with large umbrella hoisted, fanning himself with bandanna handkerchief. Comes to gate, opens it smiling, a picture of good humor; closes gate, shuts umbrella, and approaches WHEELER._

=Deacon.= (_at WHEELER'S side, clears throat_) Are you the landlord of this hotel?

=Wheeler.= (_pleasantly_) Well, no, not exactly.

=Deacon.= (_blandly_) Of course not. Excuse me. I knew you weren't the moment I sot eyes on you. What did I understand you to say you were?

=Wheeler.= I'm a gentleman, sir.

=Deacon.= Yes, of course you are. That's just what I thought you were. I'm a gentleman, too. You wouldn't believe it, would you? (_laughs and clears throat_) I'm a _country_ gentleman. I live over in Rockford county. Perhaps you have heard tell of me. I'm Deacon Thornton.

=Wheeler.= (_in joyful surprise_) Indeed! (_rises and shakes DEACON'S hand warmly_) Why, Deacon, I'm _delighted_ to make your acquaintance, sir. (_DEACON smiles and appears pleased_) Heard of you, sir? Why, you are known the state over as being the wealthiest and most liberal-hearted gentleman in Rockford county. Is it possible I have the honor of shaking hands with so noted a gentleman as Deacon Thornton?

=Deacon.= (_appears slightly intoxicated_) None other, I assure you. Excuse me, but may I rest a few moments in that chair? (_points to chair L. of table_) I'll feel more sociable like.

=Wheeler.= Why, certainly, sir. (_goes to chair, takes out handkerchief and dusts it off. Helps seat the DEACON in it_) You seem to be tired, sir.

=Deacon.= Yes, I am, and warm, too. (_fans himself with hat_) You see, I've come over here to attend my niece's wedding. (_abruptly_) Say, do you know where Mrs. Thornton lives?

=Wheeler.= Oh, yes, I'm well acquainted with the family. (_takes seat R._)

=Deacon.= That's good. I'll get you to show me her house presently. (_WHEELER manifests a desire, by half rising, to show him immediately_) Not now, sit still. I'm not rested yet. You see, I've never met Mrs. Thornton. She's my sister-in-law. My brother Bill and I had a fall-out when we were young, and never made up afterward. She's Bill's widow. Helen's her daughter, my niece. She's going to be married day after to-morrow. (_the DEACON talks rapidly_) Whew, but it's hot!

=Wheeler.= Yes, it is warm. (_rising_) Excuse me, but I never thought of it. Perhaps your long ride in the sun has made you thirsty, too. Let me get you some lemonade. It will refresh you.

=Deacon.= Well, yes, you may, if you will. (_WHEELER starts for door L. 2 E._) Be sure (_with a wink_) to put a little stick in it. (_rubbing hands_) It gives it _tone_, you know.

=Wheeler.= Oh, yes, I understand. (_Winking and nodding head. DEACON fans himself with hat, smiling and seeming well pleased. WHEELER, when he reaches steps, pauses, half turning toward audience, takes a white paper parcel from breast pocket and holding it up exclaims, aside_) And I'll put something else in that will soon make your head swim.

Exit _through door_.

Enter _DAISY hastily, L. U. E.; passes through gate and goes down C._

=Daisy.= Oh, Mr. Wheeler, I forgot----(_perceives DEACON_) Oh!

=Deacon.= (_rising, appears a little unsteady. Gazes admiringly at DAISY. Speaks to audience_) Blast my buttons! Ain't she a daisy?

=Daisy.= (_slightly advancing_) Did you speak to me, sir?

=Deacon.= (_confused_) No--yes,--that is--What's your name, my pretty miss?

=Daisy.= Daisy Dean, sir.

=Deacon.= Are you married?

=Daisy.= No, sir.

=Deacon.= Wouldn't you like to be?

=Daisy.= (_demurely_) I--don't know, sir.

=Deacon.= (_to self_) I'll think the matter over. (_aloud, coaxingly_) Won't you come and give me a kiss?

=Daisy.= (_looks at the DEACON a moment in amazement, then with emphasis_) No, sir, I won't. (_turning quickly with toss of head, she exits at gate, closes it, looks a moment at DEACON, who follows her retreating form with open-mouthed astonishment, then quickly_ exits _L. The DEACON gradually faces round to audience, with the look of wonderment still suffusing countenance_)

=Deacon.= Well, it's plain she was not _particularly_ smitten with me. (_resumes seat_)

Enter _WHEELER, door 2 E. L., with pitcher, one empty glass, and another glass filled with soda-water. Goes to table and places pitcher and empty glass upon it._

=Wheeler.= (_filling glass_) Here we are, with a drink like the nectar the gods used to brew. (_handing DEACON glass_) I can recommend it, for I helped to make it.

=Deacon.= You will not object if I take off my coat, will you! It's so warm. (_removing coat. WHEELER takes it and hangs it over back of his chair. DEACON empties glass_)

=Wheeler.= Certainly not; make yourself at home. (_Refills DEACON'S glass, and continues so to do as fast as the DEACON empties it. Sits and sips soda-water while talking. Invest this scene with as much naturalness and life as possible_)

=Deacon.= As I told you, my brother Bill and I never made up after our first quarrel, but I'm not going to allow that to stand against his widow and daughter. No, sir. (_emphatically_) I intend to do the handsome thing by Helen. She's going to marry a Mr. Wheeler. Perhaps you know him? (_WHEELER shakes head_) No? I'm sorry, for folks say he's a mighty fine gentleman, and rich, too. (_abruptly_) Do you know Amelia?

=Wheeler.= Mrs. Thornton's sister?

=Deacon.= (_eagerly_) Yes, do you know her?

=Wheeler.= Oh, yes, very well.

=Deacon.= (_rubbing hands_) Fine woman, isn't she?

=Wheeler.= Indeed, she is. I don't know a lady whose _opinion_ I respect more.

=Deacon.= (_slightly hilarious_) Oh, she's bright!----

=Wheeler.= And so amiable?----

=Deacon.= (_joyously_) Ain't she kind----

=Wheeler.= Yes, I think her the perfect pattern of a saint.

=Deacon.= Oh, she's angelic, my boy, she's angelic. I'll tell you something, if you'll keep it a secret. I'm in love with Amelia.

=Wheeler.= I'm not surprised at that, for I can't see how any body can help loving her.

=Deacon.= Yes, sir, I'm clean gone; and I'll marry her, too, see if I don't.

=Wheeler.= I hope that you may, with all my heart.

=Deacon.= Say, I think that you are the nicest fellow I ever met--I do, indeed,--and you have got--to be my--groomsman. Don't say no--for I'll--not--listen--to--it--(_head falls on folded arms resting on table. Maudlin drunk_)

=Wheeler.= The drug is taking effect. (_takes DEACON'S coat from chair, searches pockets, finds large pocket-book, takes check from it and examines it_) Here it is, drawn up and signed. (_starts to put it in his own pocket_) No, I won't, for it will soon be mine at any rate. (_Replaces it and doubles up coat and lays it on table L. of DEACON_)

=Wheeler.= (_calls_) Deacon, Deacon. (_DEACON rouses up with a start, brushes coat off L. upon floor with arm_) I must leave you now to attend to some business. I will send some one to direct you to Mrs. Thornton's. (_goes R. near door, DEACON protesting_)

Enter _POLICEMAN L. U. E.; passes through gate. WHEELER walks down R. motioning POLICEMAN to follow. Stands R. 1 E._

=Deacon.= No, don't go. Don't. All right--I'll--get ready--(_slowly rises, looks for coat. Does not notice WHEELER and POLICEMAN_) Never had so glorious a time--before--(_places hand on head_) Oh,--my--head! Where's--my--coat? (_sees it on floor. Bis. of attempting to pick it up; finally falls in a heap beside it. Picks it up and examines it_) Blast it, some--boy--been--fooling--with it--turned it inside out. (_turns coat_) I've--had--another-- sun--stroke--wish--I--was--home--in--bed--I'm--sick--

=Wheeler.= (_to officer. Talks through scene_) If you detain that man here for two hours, and then take him to Mrs. Thornton's residence, I will make it well worth your trouble. Will you do it? (_OFFICER bows head_) Very well; now go and assist him. (_OFFICER goes to DEACON, who has coat turned inside out and one sleeve on. OFFICER tries to take it off, but the DEACON protests and finally has his own way_) A pretty plight for one's father-in-law to be in! Perhaps if he knew me he would reconsider the opinion he expressed about me a moment ago. (_smiles_)

Enter BILLY L. U. E., _with large carpet-bag, half crying. Talks as he comes to gate. PETE follows him and beckons L. as though urging others to follow._

=Billy.= Now leave me alone. Dog-gone your ugly pictures! I didn't do nuffin to amongst you. (_leans on gate. Faces R. C. PETE sneaks up and pinches him. BILLY kicks and yells. Cries. OFFICER assisting DEACON to feet, sees PETE_)

=Officer.= Leave that boy alone, you black rascal, or I'll arrest you.

=Pete.= Well, make him take in his sign, if he don't want de boys to hab any fun wid him. You can't scare me, ole fiddle strings, I knows yo'. (_OFFICER feints to start for him. PETE pulls off hat and runs off L. U. E._)

=Deacon.= (_authoritatively_) Come here, Billy. (_BILLY opens gate and goes down to DEACON, sniffling. DEACON looks steadily at him a moment_)

Enter _three lads and lassies R. U. E., with VIOLINIST. WHEELER whistles to them softly as they reach gate and beckons for them to enter. They come in; VIOLINIST goes up L. , the rest R. WHEELER goes to them and makes a proposition, then exit door, R. 2 E._

=Deacon.= Billy, you're drunk! Now don't deny it. Aren't you ashamed of yourself, for disgracing me? Now go to that seat (_pointing up L._) and stay there until I'm ready to leave. (_BILLY goes to settee up L. and sits. Has large placard on back with the words "PINCH ME" printed on it_)

_One of the lads goes to the VIOLINIST and speaks to him, then returns R. VIOLINIST starts playing "I Won't Go Home Till Morning." Villagers form set and commence dancing. OFFICER urges DEACON to become his partner. DEACON consents. Take position. After a few steps the DEACON evinces great gusto. Commences singing, seizes one of the lassies, shoves her partner into his position. Laddie becomes angry, shows fight. Strikes the DEACON, who pulls up sleeves and starts for his assailant. General confusion. OFFICER arrests Laddie and starts toward gate with him. DEACON comes C., singing and dancing. As curtain falls, he suddenly clasps hands to head, exclaiming:_

=Deacon.= Oh, my head, my head!

QUICK DROP.