SCENE I.--AN INDIAN TRADING HOUSE.

_Enter_ M'DOLE _and_ MURPHEY, _Two Indian Traders, and their Servants_.

_M'Dole._ So, Murphey, you are come to try your Fortune Among the Savages in this wild Desart?

_Murphey._ Ay, any thing to get an honest Living, Which, faith, I find it hard enough to do; Times are so dull, and Traders are so plenty, That Gains are small, and Profits come but slow.

_M'Dole._ Are you experienced in this kind of Trade? Know you the Principles by which it prospers, And how to make it lucrative and safe? If not, you're like a Ship without a Rudder, That drives at random, and must surely sink.

_Murphey._ I'm unacquainted with your Indian Commerce And gladly would I learn the arts from you, Who're old, and practis'd in them many Years.

_M'Dole._ That is the curst Misfortune of our Traders; A thousand Fools attempt to live this Way, Who might as well turn Ministers of State. But, as you are a Friend, I will inform you Of all the secret Arts by which we thrive, Which if all practis'd, we might all grow rich, Nor circumvent each other in our Gains. What have you got to part with to the Indians?

_Murphey._ I've Rum and Blankets, Wampum, Powder, Bells, And such like Trifles as they're wont to prize.

_M'Dole._ 'Tis very well: your Articles are good: But now the Thing's to make a Profit from them, Worth all your Toil and Pains of coming hither. Our fundamental Maxim then is this, That it's no Crime to cheat and gull an Indian.

_Murphey._ How! Not a Sin to cheat an Indian, say you? Are they not Men? hav'nt they a Right to Justice As well as we, though savage in their Manners?

_M'Dole._ Ah! If you boggle here, I say no more; This is the very Quintessence of Trade, And ev'ry Hope of Gain depends upon it; None who neglect it ever did grow rich, Or ever will, or can by Indian Commerce. By this old Ogden built his stately House, Purchased Estates, and grew a little King. He, like an honest Man, bought all by weight, And made the ign'rant Savages believe That his Right Foot exactly weighed a Pound. By this for many years he bought their Furs, And died in Quiet like an honest Dealer.

_Murphey._ Well, I'll not stick at what is necessary; But his Devise is now grown old and stale, Nor could I manage such a barefac'd Fraud.

_M'Dole._ A thousand Opportunities present To take Advantage of their Ignorance; But the great Engine I employ is Rum, More pow'rful made by certain strength'ning Drugs. This I distribute with a lib'ral Hand, Urge them to drink till they grow mad and valiant; Which makes them think me generous and just, And gives full Scope to practise all my Art. I then begin my Trade with water'd Rum; The cooling Draught well suits their scorching Throats. Their Fur and Peltry come in quick Return: My Scales are honest, but so well contriv'd, That one small Slip will turn Three Pounds to One; Which they, poor silly Souls! ignorant of Weights And Rules of Balancing, do not perceive. But here they come; you'll see how I proceed. Jack, is the Rum prepar'd as I commanded?

_Jack._ Yes, Sir, all's ready when you please to call.

_M'Dole._ Bring here the Scales and Weights immediately; You see the Trick is easy and conceal'd.

[_Showing how to slip the Scale._

_Murphey._ By Jupiter, it's artfully contriv'd; And was I King, I swear I'd knight th' Inventor. Tom, mind the Part that you will have to act.

_Tom._ Ah, never fear; I'll do as well as Jack. But then, you know, an honest Servant's Pain Deserves Reward.

_Murphey._ O! I'll take care of that.

[_Enter a Number of Indians with Packs of Fur._

_1st Indian._ So, what you trade with Indians here to-day?

_M'Dole._ Yes, if my Goods will suit, and we agree.

_2d Indian._ 'Tis Rum we want; we're tired, hot, and thirsty.

_3d Indian._ You, Mr. Englishman, have you got Rum?

_M'Dole._ Jack, bring a Bottle, pour them each a Gill. You know which Cask contains the Rum. The Rum?

_1st Indian._ It's good strong Rum; I feel it very soon.

_M'Dole._ Give me a Glass. Here's Honesty in Trade; We English always drink before we deal.

_2d Indian._ Good way enough; it makes one sharp and cunning.

_M'Dole._ Hand round another Gill. You're very welcome.

_3d Indian._ Some say you Englishmen are sometimes Rogues; You make poor Indians drunk, and then you cheat.

_1st Indian._ No, English good. The Frenchmen give no Rum.

_2d Indian._ I think it's best to trade with Englishmen.

_M'Dole._ What is your Price for Beaver Skins per Pound?

_1st Indian._ How much you ask per Quart for this strong Rum?

_M'Dole._ Five Pounds of Beaver for One Quart of Rum.

_1st Indian_. Five Pounds? Too much. Which is't you call Five Pound?

_M'Dole._ This little Weight. I cannot give you more.

_1st Indian._ Well, take 'em; weigh 'em. Don't you cheat us now.

_M'Dole._ No; He that cheats an Indian should be hanged.

[_Weighing the Packs._

There's Thirty Pounds precisely of the Whole; Five times Six is Thirty. Six Quarts of Rum. Jack, measure it to them; you know the Cask. This Rum is sold. You draw it off the best.

[_Exeunt Indians to receive their Rum._

_Murphey._ By Jove, you've gained more in a single Hour Than ever I have done in Half a Year: Curse on my Honesty! I might have been A _little King_, and lived without Concern, Had I but known the proper Arts to thrive.

_M'Dole._ Ay, there's the Way, my honest Friend, to live.

[_Clapping his shoulder._

There's Ninety Weight of Sterling Beaver for you, Worth all the Rum and Trinkets in my Store; And, would my Conscience let me do the Thing, I might enhance my Price, and lessen theirs, And raise my Profits to a higher Pitch.

_Murphey._ I can't but thank you for your kind Instructions, As from them I expect to reap Advantage. But should the Dogs detect me in the Fraud, They are malicious, and would have Revenge.

_M'Dole._ Can't you avoid them? Let their Vengeance light On others Heads, no matter whose, if you Are but Secure, and have the Gain in Hand; For they're indiff'rent where they take Revenge, Whether on him that cheated, or his Friend, Or on a Stranger whom they never saw, Perhaps an honest Peasant, who ne'er dreamt Of Fraud or Villainy in all his Life; Such let them murder, if they will, a Score, The Guilt is theirs, while we secure the Gain, Nor shall we feel the bleeding Victim's Pain.

[_Exeunt._