Chapter 11

Woodfall, i.e. Henry Sampson Woodfall, printer of _The Public Advertiser_. He died in 1805. (See note to l. 115.)

Cross-Readings, Ship-News, and Mistakes of the Press. Over the _nom de guerre_ of ‘Papyrius Cursor,’ a real Roman name, but as happy in its applicability as Thackeray’s ‘Manlius Pennialinus,’ Whitefoord contributed many specimens of this mechanic wit to _The Public Advertiser_. The ‘Cross Readings’ were obtained by taking two or three columns of a newspaper horizontally and ‘onwards’ instead of ‘vertically’ and downwards, thus:—

Colds caught at this season are

The Companion to the Playhouse.

or

To be sold to the best Bidder,

My seat in Parliament being vacated.

A more elaborate example is

On Tuesday an address was presented;

it unhappily missed fire and the villain made off,

when the honour of knighthood was conferred on him

to the great joy of that noble family

Goldsmith was hugely delighted with Whitefoord’s ‘lucky inventions’ when they first became popular in 1766. ‘He declared, in the heat of his admiration of them, it would have given him more pleasure to have been the author of them than of all the works he had ever published of his own’ (Northcote’s _Life of Reynolds_, 2nd ed., 1819, i. 217). What is perhaps more remarkable is, that Johnson spoke of Whitefoord’s performances as ‘ingenious and diverting’ (Birkbeck Hill’s _Boswell_, 1887, iv. 322); and Horace Walpole laughed over them till he cried (Letter to Montagu, December 12, 1766). To use Voltaire’s witticism, he is _bien heureux_ who can laugh now. It may be added that Whitefoord did not, as he claimed, originate the ‘Cross Readings.’ They had been anticipated in No. 49 of Harrison’s spurious _Tatler_, vol. v [1720].

The fashion of the ‘Ship-News’ was in this wise: ‘August 25 [1765]. We hear that his Majestys Ship _Newcastle_ will soon have a new figurehead, the old one being almost worn out.’ The ‘Mistakes of the Press’ explain themselves. (See also Smith’s _Life of Nollekens_, 1828, i. 336–7; Debrett’s _New Foundling Hospital for Wit_, 1784, vol. ii, and _Gentleman’s Magazine_, 1810, p. 300.)

That a Scot may have humour, I had almost said wit. Goldsmith,—if he wrote these verses,—must have forgotten that he had already credited Whitefoord with ‘wit’ in l. 153.

Thou best humour’d man with the worst humour’d muse. Cf. Rochester of Lord Buckhurst, afterwards Earl of Dorset:—

The best good man, with the worst-natur’d muse.

Whitefoord’s contribution to the epitaphs on Goldsmith is said to have been unusually severe,—so severe that four only of its eight lines are quoted in the _ Whitefoord Papers_, 1898, the rest being ‘unfit for publication’ (p. xxvii). He afterwards addressed a metrical apology to Sir Joshua, which is printed at pp. 217–8 of Northcote’s _ Life_, 2nd ed., 1819. See also Forster’s _ Goldsmith_, 1871, ii. 408–9.

SONG FOR ‘SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER.’

Boswell, to whom we are indebted for the preservation of this lively song, sent it to _The London Magazine_ for June, 1774 (vol. xliii, p. 295), with the following:—

‘To the Editor of _The London Magazine_.

SIR,—I send you a small production of the late Dr. _Goldsmith_, which has never been published, and which might perhaps have been totally lost had I not secured it. He intended it as a song in the character of Miss _ Hardcastle_, in his admirable comedy, _She stoops to conquer_; but it was left out, as Mrs. _Bulkley_ who played the