The Complete Bachelor: Manners for Men
Chapter 16
THE SPORTING BACHELOR.
_Driving._--Driving really comprises coaching as well as the tandem.
A man who has any pretensions whatever to keeping his own horses or driving should be judged by the appearance of his traps. He submits himself to what one, to-day, might call the X-ray of criticism. He enters a field, and he must be weighed in the balance and his position defined by the standard of his associates. I know of no other city in the world where there are better groomed horses and better turned out equipages than in New York. The American in Hyde Park is shocked at the appearance of the traps in that famous driveway of fashion, and his national pride is gratified by observing that the smartest are of American makes. As to Paris, it is simply beyond the pale of criticism, the private turnouts, such as they are, being almost lost in a sea of dirty, disgraceful _fiacres_.
In the first place, your horses must be well groomed, their hoofs blackened, and their tails properly banged. I do not intend here to enter a discussion concerning the cruelty of docking horses' tails. The social law is without exception. Horses with long tails are impossible. I believe banging is not accompanied by any physical pain.
The harness, the trap itself, the coachman, and groom or grooms should be as immaculate as the horses. There should not be a single item out of gear. Every detail must be perfect. Choose some individual color for your traps, and never change the colors of your stable any more than you would your liveries. I have discussed fully in the chapter on Servants the duties of coachmen and grooms, and I refer the reader to that section of this book for information concerning liveries and the human _personnel_ of your trap.
As to the color of your horses you should consult the fashion of the moment. To-day grays and bays are matched, and a person in half mourning recently appeared on a leading thoroughfare with a black trap and harness and white horses.
A bachelor, however, should court simplicity, and I do not even approve of an equipage with two men on the box for an unmarried man. In fact I do not know of a single bachelor who has such a turnout.
A coach, a tandem, a drag, or any of the array of fashionable carts, or a private hansom should limit the list.
Coolness and absolute confidence are the requisite virtues of good driving.
The driver salutes always with the whip; those on the coach with him or in the trap bow.
Dress for driving in the city is usually that of afternoon, and a high hat is indispensable. Sometimes the huge gray coats with large buttons and a gray topper are worn. Dogskin driving gloves and driving boots complete the costume. In the country one wears tweed or Scotch cheviot and a Derby hat. The man who drives mounts last, his horses' heads being held by the groom. His whip should be in its socket; the reins loosely thrown over the horses' backs. He should spring into his seat and start immediately.
There is a certain smartness in driving, in the way you manage your whip, your horses, and the many other details, which it is the province of a good master of the sport to teach you.
The fashionable hour for driving in New York is from three to five, and the drive the Park. At Newport one drives both in the morning and evening.
Remember, however, that the secret of your mastery over your stables should be your perfect knowledge of every detail. If you are a novice you should begin by learning the name and use of each part of your harness. You should be able to tell at a glance if everything is right, and you can not be too severe if anything is out of gear or the animals are not properly groomed. The best position on the box is a firm seat with your feet close together. Drive with one hand and keep the whip hand free, except for its legitimate use in touching your horses now and then, and in saluting.
A man always sits with his back to the horses in a Victoria, or any other four-seated vehicle, when there are two ladies with him. When there is only one he sits by her side. He alights first with a view to assisting the ladies. He gets in last.
It is not good form in New York for unmarried couples to drive together, unaccompanied by a chaperon. It is permitted at Newport and the country and seaside resorts, but a groom always sits on the back seat. In this case the woman is frequently the whip.
A man and a woman may drive together in the city in a hansom, although this is considered unconventional. Buggy driving is not in vogue in New York.
_Riding_, since the advent of the wheel, is not as fashionable an amusement in cities as formerly.
Riding classes, which meet two evenings during the week, usually in the Lenten season, are still very popular. These gatherings take place at a riding academy, and a competent riding master is in charge.
When riding with a woman, a man should always be at her right. A woman's riding habit falls to the left and she is mounted from the left. In assisting her to mount, which, even when a groom is present, is the gallant thing to do, a man should grasp the bridle with the left hand and hold his right so that she can step into it. The woman puts her left foot, therefore, in a man's right hand, and holds to the pommel with her right hand. The escort gives his arm a slight spring, and with a corresponding action on the part of the fair equestrienne, she is lifted into the saddle. The man faces the near side of the horse, or the left. He takes the reins in his right hand and with it grasps the pommel of the saddle, shortening the reins until he feels the mouth of the horse. He inserts the left foot in the stirrup and springs into the saddle.
In speaking of a pommel, I wish it understood that the English saddle is used, which has no visible pommel, but that part of it is still called by the name in lieu of another term.
A good rider should never mount from a horse block or a fence. The English mode of riding is fashionable. The smart pace is a short canter. In trotting, a man may rise to the trot. Squaring the elbows is a trifle vulgar and obsolete. In meeting acquaintances, a man should bow. A man accompanying a lady should always keep pace with her, and never either go ahead or let his horse fall behind. A man riding alone should never pass or catch up with a woman unattended.
When one rides in New York it is only in the morning. Afternoon riding in the Park is not the vogue it was. The New Yorker dislikes to dress up in any special costume, so that for years the fashionable afternoon riding costume was a black cutaway or morning coat, ordinary trousers strapped under the ordinary walking boot, top hat, and gloves, but the present riding costume for the morning in New York and the country consists of whipcord or corduroy riding breeches and jacket, brown leather waistcoat, brown Derby hat, boots or leggings, and dark gloves. You can wear this in the afternoon, but the ordinary costume is considered smarter and more convenient. Men in New York only ride in the Park, and many of them do not belong to riding academies or have lockers. A complete change of costume is not convenient, and you never see a New York clubman on the streets in riding togs. The evening classes always end with a supper and a dance. The woman's habit is easily changed, but to appear at night in riding costume or with boots in a drawing room is certainly absurd. To wear evening dress on horseback, even a Tuxedo coat, is also outlandish, and thus the compromise has been effected, and the old black diagonal cutaway brought into use.
_Riding to hounds_ requires special knowledge as to the rules and the etiquette of the different hunts. These vary. The meet is generally at some farm or country house, and you are expected to appear in the regulation hunt colors. The orthodox costume is morning coat, white or fancy waistcoat, riding breeches, top boots, crop, top hat, and hunting scarf. The master of the hounds should wear a red or scarlet frock coat and hunting cap. After the hunt there is a breakfast, and several times during the year a ball. At the latter festivity, members of the club should wear their scarlet evening coats.
_Coaching_ is yet another of the intricate arts. I will give a few points to the novice. The place of honor is the box seat and should be given to a lady, when ladies are of the party.
If a bachelor is a good whip, a coaching party is an excellent way for him to entertain. The start should be from some fashionable locality in town, and eight or ten is a large party. It is needless for me to call the attention of a whip to the importance of his drag and horses and appointments being perfect. During the progress of the coach the guard who sits in the rear blows his horn at regular intervals. A bugle or cornet is not good form, although I have heard it in small towns.
It may seem elementary, but for the requirements of those who have never coached I might as well state that the guests sit on the top and not inside the coach. A neat and serviceable team may be made with two browns as leaders and a brown and a bay as wheelers. To the novice the names of these will indicate their position.
A coaching route should be about ten to fifteen miles. A halt is made at a country club, of which the host is a member, or a hotel, where luncheon is served. The _menu_ consists of the usual comestibles with plenty of champagne. Two hours altogether are allowed for rest, and then the start homeward is made. The whip should wear driving costume, with gray or black high hat. The men guests can be dressed in morning costume, tweeds, and Derby hats, unless the occasion is one of formality, such as a coaching parade, when one should don afternoon dress. The general etiquette of driving applies to coaching.
_Wheeling_ is the popular and fashionable amusement at present writing, and it bids fair to continue so until quite late in the twentieth century. As yet there are no special rules of etiquette for this new sport, except that which would govern its dress. Otherwise there are the rules of the road--keeping and turning to the right--and the extending by gentlemen of those civilities which they should never forget to the fair sex, and consideration for their fellow-men. A man should always wait for a lady to mount, holding the bicycle. He should ride at her left, keeping pace with her, and sufficiently near to be of assistance in case of an accident. He should dismount first and help her to do so if necessary. The present fashionable costume for cycling consists of tweed knickers and short lounge jacket of same material, brown leather or linen waistcoat, colored shirt, with white turn-down collar and club tie, golf stockings, and low-quartered tan wheeling shoes. A cap of tweed to match the suit completes the rig. At cycling clubs black small clothes with dinner jacket may be worn, but as yet it is not the prevailing fashion.
In summer very natty wheeling costumes are made of linen or crash.
One word more as to wheeling. Owing to its popularity, many have sought to make it vulgar and common. An idea that a man has the privilege of addressing any woman on a bicycle is most erroneous. You would not offer such an impertinence to an equestrienne, and you must remember that a "wheel" is only a metal horse. To catch up with or pass unchaperoned or unescorted women wheelers is as much a breach of etiquette as to be guilty of the same vulgarity toward an unaccompanied Amazon.
_Shooting_ deserves a few words, although shooting parties in the acceptance of the foreign and British entertainments have as yet but few counterparts in this country. Men chase the aniseed bag or an imported fox when riding to hounds, and when they take gun in hand it is for the purpose of hunting big game, such as one would obtain in the Adirondacks, in the Rockies, in the Southern swamp lands, and in the wilderness of Canada. In England you may be invited for the shooting. The start is in the morning, in a party accompanied by the gamekeepers. The birds are flurried, the guns are loaded by your special attendant, and you only pause in your work of destruction for luncheon, which is served somewhere in the woods or on the moors. You are expected to be at the house about four, where, after changing your clothes, you appear in the drawing room for tea. You are cautioned in these parties, in order to avoid accident, before crossing a hedge, gate, or any other obstacle, to remove your cartridges. You are to be unusually careful in the manner of holding your gun, and should certainly not flourish it around or point it at any living thing, save that which it is intended to kill. Guns used as walking sticks or props to take flying leaps or other extraordinary purposes are the assinine diversions of some idiots. In England a position is assigned to you. It is etiquette to remain in it, shooting in a liberal and sportsmanlike spirit, accepting shots as they come. The gamekeepers expect a tip at the end of the visit. The correct dress is loose jacket, knicker corduroy breeches, stout ribbed stockings, and box-cloth leggings. Heavy russet boots and a cloth shooting cap are also worn.
_Bowls_ is a favorite game in the country, and during the Lenten season in New York, where there are a number of clubs formed for its enjoyment.
Although the sessions are in the evening, the men dress at clubs in _mufti_ or _negligé_, the golf or cycling suits being the favorites. When you are asked to play bowls at a private house, and when there is a dance to follow, or when you are asked to a "bowling party," it is perhaps better form to wear your dinner jacket or Tuxedo, as there will be supper and dancing afterward. The presence of ladies will not deter you from wearing on an occasion like this demitoilet or dinner jacket, as there is a certain informality about all athletic sports. The same may be said of _badminton_, another favorite Lenten game, played somewhat after the manner of tennis. The difference is that instead of racquet and ball, battledore and shuttlecock are used.
For _skating_, even at a rink on artificial ice, golf costume or _mufti_ is good form.
_Polo_ has likewise no code of etiquette not connected with the rules of the game. The dress for polo includes buckskin knee breeches, flannel or madras shirt with low turn-down collar, top riding boots, and polo cap.
YACHTING, BOATING, BATHING, TENNIS, AND RACING.
A yacht in commission is the most expensive and luxurious toy a man can have. No one but a millionaire can afford it. True, as in other possessions, there are degrees, and consequently there are yachts and yachts. Only large schooner or steam yachts, however, are adaptable for entertaining. A man's yacht is indeed his castle, and the host has only to follow the rules which govern social functions to be perfect in this delightful method of entertaining. Yet there are a few little details of which it would be prudent to speak. The proper entertainments for a yacht in harbor are luncheons, dinners, dances, and short cruises. None of these should be elaborate, the yacht itself--a thing of joy and beauty--being alone a great attraction.
Your sailors should meet the people invited at the dock in the cutter, and row them to the place where your yacht rides at anchor. You should be at the gangway ready to receive them. The same order should be observed on their leaving.
During a club cruise there are several formalities to be observed. You are then as if under military or naval orders. The commodore should be treated with the same consideration as an admiral. You should not appear before him except in the uniform of the club, and you should always salute him on passing, and he should have precedence at all entertainments.
Yachting dress for men consists in either blue flannel or serge suit, or weather pilot or pea-jacket of rough cloth or "witney," or blue serge or flannel coat with naval white duck trousers. The cap, blue or white cloth or duck. White flannels are also worn, but they are not so appropriate. In the evening, usual formal landsman's costume.
There are a few rules of practical yachting which are so intimately connected with etiquette that, although it is not exactly in my province, I propose to give a summary of them here; they may be useful, and may serve my reader a good turn. I take the regulations of the New York Yacht Club for my guide. It is without doubt the leading yachting organization of this country.
When on a cruise, all yachts belonging to a club should hoist their colors at eight o'clock A. M. and haul them down at sunset, taking time from the senior officer present in port, if there should be one. Between sunset and colors they should carry a night pennant. Guns should only be fired on setting or hauling down the colors, except by the yacht giving the time, nor between sunset and colors, nor on Sunday, and the rules of many yacht clubs insist on these formalities being observed whether a yacht is on a cruise or not.
The senior officer in port should be in command, and should make colors and sunset and return salutes and visits, etc. His yacht should remain the station vessel until a senior to him in rank arrives, when such senior should assume the duties of the anchorage.
Flag officers should display their pennants while in commission, except when absent for more than forty-eight hours. In this case their private signal should be hoisted. A blue rectangular flag at the starboard spreader should be displayed when the owner is not on board.
All salutes should be returned in kind. Yachts of all clubs should always salute vessels of the United States Navy. Yachts passing at sea should salute each other, juniors saluting first. This is done by dipping the ensign three times or by firing a gun, followed by dipping the ensign. Arriving in harbor after sunset or on Sunday the salute should be made the first thing next morning.
When a squadron or a cruising expedition enters a port or anchorage and finds there a foreign yacht, the senior officer of the squadron or cruise should send its owner a tender of the civilities of the club. All vessels are considered foreign not belonging to the interstate squadron, or to a club not included in the association of yachts to which your vessel and you belong.
Of course I have only skimmed through the sailing and saluting regulations. You are supposed to have a book of your club, which will give them to you, and you are bound to follow the rules laid down therein.
As a rule, the commodore of a yacht club wears on his cap an anchor one inch and a half in diameter, placed horizontally, embroidered in gold, with a silver star of half an inch diameter at each end of and above the anchor. A vice commodore wears only a single star; captains two crossed foul anchors. The dress uniform of most yacht clubs is a plain blue or black dress coat, a white dress waistcoat, each with the club button in gilt; blue or white trousers with cravat black or white. The undress consists of a double-breasted sack coat of blue cloth, serge, or flannel, blue or white waistcoat, each with the black club button; trousers of same material, or of white drill. The commodore has five black silk stripes on his cuff, the vice commodore four, the rear commodore three, the captain and other officers two, and the members one.
Your crew should wear shirts of blue flannel or white linen with wide blue cuffs and collars, stitched with blue or white thread. Handkerchiefs should be of black silk, caps of blue cloth without visor; straw hats with black ribbon can be used for summer. The name of the yacht must be worked on the breast of the shirt, or printed upon the band of the cap or the ribbon of the hat. The trousers should be of blue flannel or white linen duck. No braces are worn.
GOLF.
The etiquette of golf is incorporated, more or less, with the technicalities of the rules governing the game. I do not intend to go into these, but to give a few hints to the novice, to prevent him, if possible, committing solecisms.
Golf has a vocabulary of its own. The "grounds" on which the game is played is a stretch of rather rough country, abounding in hills, hillocks, and sandy downs, and is known by no other name but the "links."
The game is usually played by two persons, but it can be by more. It consists in driving a ball, small and black, or painted red for the winter snows, along a route laid out by a series of holes to a goal, with a selection of clubs with metal ends. A small boy carries these clubs around for the players. He is called the "caddie."
The clubs have various names and various uses. They are for propelling or driving the ball, according to the rules of the game. They are the driver, long spoon, short spoon, putter, iron putter, cleek, iron, niblick, brassey, lofting iron, and mashie.
A "tee" is a small mound of sand or earth upon which the ball rests. As before explained, the ball is propelled or driven from the tee into one of the holes. The term "putting" is applied to the locality in which this operation of driving the ball into the hole takes place.
The etiquette of the spectator is embraced in the common-sense essential of being an onlooker and nothing more. Silence is golden. Advice and comment, should you profess to know anything about the game, are brazen. Be considerate; do not interfere with the comfort of the players. As at billiards, the stroke should be made in utter silence. The golf "links" is not a place for criticism, and if you are allowed to follow the players around, you must control your feelings alike when enthusiastic or when contemptuous. Besides being a breach of good manners, remember that golf is more or less an outdoor game of whist.
Golf is the easiest game at which to cheat, but as it is a sport in the _repertoire_ of a gentleman, it would seem almost an insult to hint at such a contingency. However, apart from the moral effect of cheating at any game, if a man is dead to all sense of honor, he should be alive to the fear of being found out. Such discovery means social ostracism.
The proper golf costume is based on common sense. The man who rigs himself up for this or any other sport in what he considers the most approved style is either a very bad player or a novice. The championships have been won by men wearing their ordinary street costumes or business lounge suits. The English and Scotch golf dress, however, is sack coat, knickers without leather extensions, and a plain tweed shooting cap. The shirt is white madras, soft, unstarched bosom, with a golf stock or Ascot. Golf shoes or boots are of heavy russet or black leather. The hose has a long ribbed top, which is turned over, forming a sort of heavy band on the calf of the leg. It is made of heavy worsted, plain or ribbed. This costume will do for winter in the English climate, when you can not employ too heavy tweeds in the north and west. The American costume, however, is made of lighter tweeds for the spring and autumn, and of brown linen or holland for the summer. As yet, except in one or two localities, golf is not generally played in winter, except by enthusiasts.
At a match, golfers wear their club uniform coats, which are made of hunting pink with brass buttons. The club dress uniform is full and proper dress for all golf functions, such as dinners and dances and receptions. For golf club evening functions, black silk or lisle thread stockings and pumps and black knickers would be appropriate dress. This will be regulated by the rules of the club.
BOATING AND BATHING, TENNIS AND RACING.
But a word, and this on costume. The proper dress in England, where boating is a social amusement, is the blazer madras shirt with white linen all-around collars and madras cuffs, same material as shirt, white duck trousers, and straw hat with colored ribbons.
For bathing, the present ocean costume is all plain, one dark-color two-piece suits, short trousers coming to the knees, and jersey with very short sleeves.
For tennis, which I have omitted in the category of sports, as there is no peculiar etiquette attached, you should wear white duck trousers, a white madras shirt, white flannel coat, plain or finely striped, and straw hat or flannel cap to match coat. The straw hat was in vogue last summer.
In England many men wear gray vicuña frock coats to the races. About this costume, however, in America, where races are but seldom social functions, you must be guided by the season, circumstances, and place. Of course, a top hat must be worn with any species of frock coat, but the gray top hat has gone out of fashion.
_Gymkhana_ races are burlesque affairs imported from India. The participants are dressed in grotesque fancy costumes, and are obliged to race holding umbrellas, toy balloons, or some other absurdity. They are in great favor at summer watering places.
BILLIARDS.
The etiquette of this popular pastime is possibly embraced in the general maxim of "the extending of the utmost consideration for others."
Billiards constitutes quite an important factor in club life, and should have been included in the chapter on that subject but for the fact that so many private houses have billiard rooms, and the game is better classified with the different sports of a bachelor.
At the club it is allowable to play the game _sans_ one's coat, or in shirt sleeves. The billiard room is a place where one can be unconventional. Order, however, in a match game especially, should be strictly maintained. The severe English rule at clubs, under such circumstances, requires the man who has played his stroke "to retire to a reasonable distance, and keep out of the line of sight" (_vide_ the Badminton treatise on the game). Orders for drinks to the waiter, loud talking, criticism of the play, lighting pipes and cigars--the latter being only generally allowed in New York club billiard rooms--are all offenses against etiquette.
In private houses it is certainly a breach of good manners to bolt into a billiard room while a game is in progress, except between the strokes, and this period can be easily ascertained by listening at the door. The ideal game is conducted with strict observance of the etiquette of the room. It is, according to the same Badminton authority, a game during the progress of which neither player smokes nor interrupts the other, and spectators are generally courteous, silent, and impartial. In a private house where ladies are apt to be present and to be players, shirt sleeves are certainly not tolerated. The dinner coat is useful on these occasions. Smoking is permissible if the hostess consents.
The etiquette of cards calls for but a word. Whist means silence. No gentleman quarrels with a billiard marker or a golf caddie; still less should he dispute a point at cards. Better lose, especially when women are present, than enter a controversy.