Chapter 14

A BACHELOR'S LETTERS.

Letter writing is an art, and there is no pleasure equal to that of receiving and reading a chatty and well-worded epistle from some dear friend. I have some packets of letters preserved to-day that I read and reread. They are always fresh and interesting to me. They are a complete index to the character of the writer, and they serve, after long years have passed, to bring up again delightful pictures of days and scenes which were brighter. However, there is one rule a man must observe: never keep a compromising letter--if you should receive one--especially from a woman. Sometimes women are foolish and careless, and they allow their pens to run away with them. They bitterly regret their folly, and the very idea that there exists somewhere a packet of letters which would bring serious trouble, if not ruin, upon them and those they love, is a cause of constant grief and worry. I know that there are letters written by one once dear, but now perhaps turned fickle or false, or separated from us forever, from which we feel loath to part; but we must be men and reduce to ashes what would hurt in the very least degree or cast a reflection upon an innocent if silly woman. Suppose you were to die suddenly, and among your papers these letters were found, with you alone, dumb in death, perhaps, only able to vindicate the unfortunate writer. We must think of those things. They belong to the _personnel_ not only of a true gentleman, but they appeal to our common sense.

Character is frequently judged by handwriting. Write a good, clear, legible hand, without any flourishes, and always use the best and the blackest of ink. The typewriter is employed only for business correspondence.

For social correspondence use only Irish-linen white note paper, unruled, with square envelopes to match. Fancy or tinted note paper of any kind is vulgar. If you have a permanent residence your address can be legibly engraved in one color, usually blue or scarlet, at the head of the first sheet. If you are a member of a club, the club note paper is proper for all social correspondence. If you want to, use your crest in lieu of address, but this practice is somewhat strained in this country. Always add the date in writing. In letters, the day, the month, and the year should be written. In notes you only put the day--for instance, "Saturday the twenty-second." The best signature is "Sincerely yours," and not "Yours sincerely." In England the quaint "Faithfully yours" is used for business correspondence. Tradespeople and servants only sign "Respectfully yours."

In America we "esquire" all men who are our equals. A butcher, a baker, a tailor or other person, when we order supplies, we address as "Mr." The abbreviation "Esq." is the usual form. In England you would write to a duke and address the letter "The Duke of Buckingham"; to a knight, "Sir Thomas Appleby"; to an earl or a marquis, "Lord Dufferin"--that is, supposing the letter would be a social one.

In writing to a friend or in answer to an invitation or a note, you would begin, "My dear Mrs. Brown," "My dear Mr. Brown," or even "My dear Brown," but never "Dear Miss Brown," "Dear Mrs. Brown," or "Dear Brown," unless you were on terms of great intimacy with them. But if the letter is a strictly business one, and the term "Sir" or "Sirs" is used, then you would be obliged to drop the possessive pronoun. A very formal or a business letter would begin thus:

_John Smith, Esq.,_ _# 22 Pacific Avenue, Brooklyn, N. Y._

_Dear Sir_:

and not "My dear Sir."

A business letter to a woman demands, however, the possessive "My," thus: "My dear Madam."

To a firm, one writes:

_Messrs. John Smith & Co.,_ _Dear Sirs_:

and never "Gentlemen"--a most ridiculous form of address.

The clergy are addressed "Reverend and dear Sir." A bishop is "Right Reverend and dear Sir," and an archbishop "Most Reverend and dear Sir." In this republican country all other dignitaries can be addressed as "Dear Sir."

Formal invitations are written in the third person, also letters addressed to tradespeople.

The address on a letter should be written about the middle of the envelope, the street and number a little to the right, and the name of the city and State in the corner. All notes or letters to people in the same city should be directed simply with the post-office name without the State, unless it is a very small town, or it bears a name such as Augusta or Columbus, of which there are more than one in the United States. Thus:

_Mrs. John Brown,_ _# 227 Euclid Avenue,_ _Cleveland._

The stamp should be placed neatly in the right-hand corner. The mail to-day is almost the quickest means of delivery, and a special ten-cent stamp will insure, in a large city, a more prompt reception of your epistle than if you intrusted it to the tender mercies of a messenger boy.

Your paper should fold once in the middle. There is nothing so awkward or so apt to give a bad impression as a letter improperly folded. It is bulky and unsightly. Private letters should always be sealed with wax, in color dark green or red. Black is used for mourning. In sealing a letter be careful to make a neat effect, and not to smear the wax all over the envelope. The seal is then stamped with your monogram, or, if you insist upon it, with your crest, but never with your coat of arms. For the purpose of sealing letters men use their seal rings or a little stamp which can be obtained at any silversmith's. When writing from the club you can use the club stamp. Business letters are moistened and gummed, a little damp sponge being used for this purpose. To moisten envelopes with the tongue is nasty.

Letters written on hotel or business paper should be confined to the commercial world. Your friends and acquaintances should not receive them. Sometimes, when writing from a very interesting place to a very intimate friend or to relatives, hotel paper may be used, as you would like your correspondent to see a picture of the house at which you are stopping.

Every gentleman should, however, carry in his portmanteau a flat portfolio with writing materials and a traveling inkstand.

Your personal correspondence should be a reflection of yourself. Be pithy, bright, and witty. Give the news and innocent gossip, but beware of making statements in letters which you can not substantiate. Above all, think twice before you pen a harsh or an unkind word, even if a reproof be merited.

In business letters be brief and to the point.

There are two kinds of letters which sometimes puzzle the writer--letters of condolence and letters of congratulation. A letter of condolence--as will be explained in the chapter on Funerals--is due from you at the death of a near or dear friend to the relative or relatives--if you feel that you know them all well enough to address more than one epistle of sympathy--nearest and dearest to the deceased. Usually one letter is sufficient, but sometimes it may occur that you feel that you should also write to others. Make it as natural as possible. Avoid all stilted phrases and studied efforts at consolation. A few words is all that is necessary. If you have been on intimate terms with the family wire them your sympathy, and write a week or so afterward.

Letters of congratulation are much easier to compose. On the occasion of the announcement of an engagement of a friend, or in answer to his letter announcing the happy event, or on the arrival of any good fortune to those of whom you are fond or for whom you have a high regard, a letter of congratulation is necessary or acceptable. All letters announcing sad or joyous news should receive an immediate reply.